Overwhelmed By Second Baby Schedule

I remember so clearly putting my first baby on a schedule, and how attuned to her day I was. I keep trying to put my second baby on a schedule, but between taking my husband to work, taking my older child to daycare, and running errands during the day, I feel like nothing ever turns out the way I planned. Sometimes I feel like my youngest baby just gets the “fuzzy end of the lollipop” (to quote Marilyn Monroe), and it makes me feel sad for her and like I’m not doing a good job as a mom. Sometimes I just feel very overwhelmed by this. Is there anyone who has felt the same way? Has anyone been able to put their second baby on a (slightly flexible) schedule? If so, any tips as to how?

  • 2Boys&aDog
    Jan 27

    Second baby and any more thereafter will pretty much always have a more lenient schedule than the first so please don’t be so hard on yourself. She is 5 months? So probably needing about three naps a day... if one of the three have to be in the car then that’s not so bad. My advice would be to work with the times that you have to be driving (ie. Taking your husband to work) and then work your errands around the baby’s nap times. I know this isn’t ideal because you probably want to get things done while your oldest is at daycare but it’s very helpful when baby is on a somewhat predictable schedule. Good naps promote good nighttime sleeping and ultimately isn’t that what we all want and need? A full night of sleep! In another couple of months baby will be down to two naps a day so hopefully that will be easier for you.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 27

    That’s the reality of not being a first born haha. I think once naps are more consistent (6/7 months) you’ll be able to plan out your day around naps more. My mom always says she made sure we at least got one good nap in bed at that age.

  • K
    Jan 27

    Totally with you. My sons schedule ruled all in our house, but my second & third (twin girls 😊), have to just roll with it. I stick to the rule that they need one solid nap at home. It’s usually the morning one, if they miss their second, early bed. Which is kinda nice anyway😁. I have to say that they are much more adaptable than my son ever was.

  • Lindsay
    Jan 28

    Following. Very similar situation soon with baby #2 coming and being a one car family. Want to be able to keep my almost 2 year in his activities while ensuring naps for baby. Not sure all of that is possible, especially with one car. Oh, the juggling act....

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jan 28

    So I know society says that babies need schedule and they do, but they need routine more than schedule. If that makes sense. You can create routine by singing the same song at nap time even if that’s in a stroller, car ride, or whatever. I’ve had three babies in three years, and being that their so close together, we’re always on the move and someone is always needing a nap or a snack. I do my best to give the routine or consistency, but not so much schedule. I hope this helps. Your not failing. You have given your children the greatest gift, having a sibling. A best friend for life. That is totally worth a little less structure. They won’t remember their schedule being off. But they’ll remember all the good time they had with their lifelong friend

  • Anna
    Jan 28

    @MamaNukes that is so sweet!! I appreciate the sentiment and yes, I fully understand what you mean. Thank you.

  • Lily
    Jan 28

    I definitely wouldn't feel bad! Second third and so on kids have a different life than that first one! I didn't put my first on a schedule. But, she was pretty good at doing her own thing. I would say as long as your second is getting enough sleep and mommy time you are doing a great job! I would say get a good night time schedule going first, and once that works well you can move on to another part of the day:)

  • Lynn
    Jan 28

    Second baby is always along for the ride. I don’t worry about it too much. I decided not to be locked down to multiple trips to and from home in the same day.

  • Sara
    Jan 30

    I feel the same way with my second! But I try to remind myself that she is getting so much more than my first in terms of having an older sister and all the stimulation and learning that comes from that. Also my second has wiser, more seasoned parents who aren't making basic mistakes like we did with her older sister! She has also adapted a lot better than my first and has learned to take her naps in the carrier, the car seat, and in the stroller. At the end of the day if both my kids are alive and happy I call it a win :-)

  • Nicole
    Feb 12

    I’m dealing with a similar situation. I would plan everything around my first child’s nap and now I have twin 5 month olds. They were born a month early so some things are a month off from what it should be which can be confusing. Anyway, I still haven’t figured out their nap schedule and they went from sleeping well at night to sleeping horribly. When one gets to sleep finally then the other wakes up. One has some medical issues so we have appts we all go to that mess up any type of routine. Sorry, no advice just going through a similar situation.