Phone Trouble! Help!

My 11 year old daughter is the only kid she knows that doesn’t have a phone. She constantly comes back from sleepovers saying how everyone was on their phones for an hour and she had to sit there. I want to get her a phone, but we’ve had some trust issues with her previous tablet. She has an Ipad, but I can tell she wants a phone instead. The problem is that she will want Instagram and Snapchat too, which she is not allowed to have. Can anyone help please?

  • Anonymous
    Feb 17, 2019

    I imagine now she would say “sounds like a boring sleep over.... I wouldn’t go next time” or maybe “ask if she can be your mom too so she can give you a phone”

  • Ashley
    Feb 20, 2019

    I would get one for my son at that age. And let him have snap chat and instagram. Only because my sister is 10 and all her friends have it. I can see why it was boring at the sleep over. All her friends were using their phones on snap chat and taking photos while your daughter was left out because she don’t have any of that. This world sucks and everything is done by phone. Even friends at a sleepover. Girls gossip and watch hot guys on YouTube, and snap each other. That is the new world. Its the new way to stay In touch. this is the way now. My sister constantly snap chats her friends after school. She know not to add strangers, and not to give her number to nobody. Unless my mom tells her other was. Also my mom loves it because of after school activists. And being outside so much in the summer with all the kids she can track her and call her at any time. It’s great

  • Jeremy
    Feb 20, 2019

    I gave my stepson (8) a phone for his bday because my nephew(same age) has one. We wrote out a contract and have rules for him, he definitely will not have social media, not at this time at least.. if a rule is broken, then phone gets taken away

  • Maeli
    Feb 20, 2019

    As a parent who has had hell with smartphone/net usage, don’t get her a smartphone and NEVER ALLOW her to sleep with it. Zero internet access. I have a teen who got roped in from a manipulative older boy (her first crush) boy and she was sending semi inappropriate pics. Just get her unlimited talk and text and let her know you it’s simply not gonna happen until she is an adult. You do not OWE any child a cell phone, especially if you’re already dealing with trust issues. You’re just setting her and you up for a world of problems and fights.

  • Maeli
    Feb 20, 2019

    Sorry. Not texts. Also add a tracking system.

  • Amanda
    Feb 21, 2019

    Yea iPhones have a pretty good parental control. Ask permission to download and block content by age appropriateness - downtime for phone usage - screen time limits per genre. Block adult content even specific websites - shows you weekly reports with what when and how long. Pretty cool.

  • Ivy
    Feb 21, 2019

    Amanda, I agree. Even I use screen time limits as an adult. Super helpful for me. I even have a time limit set for this app! Only hubby knows the passcode, and he can see the amount of times I attempt to guess it, lol

  • Jessica
    Feb 22, 2019

    I got my 7 years old daughter a smart watch, put a SIM card and works perfectly, she can only call the numbers I add to her contact list, she can send me voice messages and there is gps so I can track where she is.

  • Jess
    Mar 03, 2019

    Snap chat is not all that bad. 11 is still young but they basically just send cute pics back and fourth between friends. Socializing is important during the pre teen years. It’s a tough call but you can always monitor the phone. Good luck!

  • Carolyn
    Mar 06, 2019

    We have software through our service provider and its a parental program that allows blocking programs limit times etc.

  • Nick
    Mar 07, 2019

    There are a lot of parental controls options for smart phones that allow you to block specific apps. My kids have iPhones mostly so I can keep track of their locations when they’re not at home and so they can call me if they need something. The iPhones have built-in controls for locking out apps and setting time limits. I know that Android phones have all the same capabilities.

  • Autie
    Mar 21, 2019

    My daughter is almost 10 and complained about not having a phone too. We got her an Apple iPhone without cell service and locked down settings with parental controls. She is able to text her other friends who have iPhones but she doesn’t have a phone number yet, we also control what apps she gets. It’s a scary world out there and it’s your job to teach them the proper way to use technology. Not a job you can pass off on someone else, good luck and my number one rule is that she tells me all her passwords so if I ever need to find out what’s going on I can.

  • Ian
    Apr 14, 2019

    Our 9yo uses a Gizmo watch. It’s a smart watch that lets wearer send basic texts, voice calls to 5 preprogrammed #s (she holds watch up to face to talk and hear), receives SMS from a companion app. The app also lets you track watch location. No games or 3rd party apps to distract her during school. Charges via USB. It’s been great. Our daughter asks for a phone, which we’re not ready to get her. Having the Gizmo as a middle ground has been helpful to giving her more autonomy. It also let’s her start taking responsibility to keeping track of it, charging it, and using it only when she needs to.

  • Wendy
    Jul 13, 2019

    I recently got my daughter a smart phone because she would also tell me about her friends having phones and she was the only one without one so once she got it she wanted an Instagram well I got it but our rule is I manage it she can look at Instagram but it’s on my phone not hers so I can see who she talks to and I also have her Instagram as private and it has worked she doesn’t complain if she does no Instagram!