Phone Trouble! Help!

My 11 year old daughter is the only kid she knows that doesn’t have a phone. She constantly comes back from sleepovers saying how everyone was on their phones for an hour and she had to sit there. I want to get her a phone, but we’ve had some trust issues with her previous tablet. She has an Ipad, but I can tell she wants a phone instead. The problem is that she will want Instagram and Snapchat too, which she is not allowed to have. Can anyone help please?

  • Travis
    Feb 15

    Just my opinion but seems like the kids need to learn how to interact with each other instead of sit there on their phones for an hour... perhaps new friends makes more sense than a new phone at that young of an age

  • Toni
    Feb 15

    This is a good read. Read that blue headlight at the top of the cover. Maybe check this book out before you make a decision on the phone. It’s unbias and is not for or against phones. It’s more so how to manage the kid with the phone.

  • Taylor
    Feb 16

    you can monitor a phone the same way a tablet.

  • Dan
    Feb 16

    Your family is your rules. No phones for kids mean no phone. Instead of iPhone get the iPod and it looks like a phone and does everything but call.

  • Ivy
    Feb 16

    In a tech generation, I know my kids will probably have a smart phone by middle school. I for the most part don’t have a problem with that as much as I used to, because now, smartphones have filters and smarter capabilities where there are limits for apps (apps can’t be downloaded without a passcode), and data and family plans are cheaper. I definitely agree to limited phone usage, but I do have empathy for children in situations like that where it sucks to be left out. I remember in high school, all my friends had phones, then when I finally got a phone, they all had iPhones and could FaceTime and Message for free. It did suck, but to be honest, I understood why I didn’t have one. And my friends didn’t make me feel left out either. I know as a parent, I’d try to encourage my kid to bring friends to our place, where I would have some kind of friend night with phones in a basket. First kid to reach for a phone would have to do a dare 😏 (safe one of course).

  • Bobby
    Feb 17

    Awww ... That sounds like such a boring sleepover for the other girls!!! I’d be more proactive about inviting more friends to your house with a no phone rule for the other girls in your house. And still not give a smart phone to her.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 17

    My mom used to say “you’re so lucky your friends have phones that you can borrow!” “Why do you need one if you can use your friend’s?”

  • Anonymous
    Feb 17

    I imagine now she would say “sounds like a boring sleep over.... I wouldn’t go next time” or maybe “ask if she can be your mom too so she can give you a phone”

  • Ashley
    Feb 20

    I would get one for my son at that age. And let him have snap chat and instagram. Only because my sister is 10 and all her friends have it. I can see why it was boring at the sleep over. All her friends were using their phones on snap chat and taking photos while your daughter was left out because she don’t have any of that. This world sucks and everything is done by phone. Even friends at a sleepover. Girls gossip and watch hot guys on YouTube, and snap each other. That is the new world. Its the new way to stay In touch. this is the way now. My sister constantly snap chats her friends after school. She know not to add strangers, and not to give her number to nobody. Unless my mom tells her other was. Also my mom loves it because of after school activists. And being outside so much in the summer with all the kids she can track her and call her at any time. It’s great

  • Jeremy
    Feb 20

    I gave my stepson (8) a phone for his bday because my nephew(same age) has one. We wrote out a contract and have rules for him, he definitely will not have social media, not at this time at least.. if a rule is broken, then phone gets taken away

  • Maeli
    Feb 20

    As a parent who has had hell with smartphone/net usage, don’t get her a smartphone and NEVER ALLOW her to sleep with it. Zero internet access. I have a teen who got roped in from a manipulative older boy (her first crush) boy and she was sending semi inappropriate pics. Just get her unlimited talk and text and let her know you it’s simply not gonna happen until she is an adult. You do not OWE any child a cell phone, especially if you’re already dealing with trust issues. You’re just setting her and you up for a world of problems and fights.

  • Maeli
    Feb 20

    Sorry. Not texts. Also add a tracking system.

  • Amanda
    Feb 21

    Yea iPhones have a pretty good parental control. Ask permission to download and block content by age appropriateness - downtime for phone usage - screen time limits per genre. Block adult content even specific websites - shows you weekly reports with what when and how long. Pretty cool.

  • Ivy
    Feb 21

    Amanda, I agree. Even I use screen time limits as an adult. Super helpful for me. I even have a time limit set for this app! Only hubby knows the passcode, and he can see the amount of times I attempt to guess it, lol

  • Jessica
    Feb 22

    I got my 7 years old daughter a smart watch, put a SIM card and works perfectly, she can only call the numbers I add to her contact list, she can send me voice messages and there is gps so I can track where she is.

  • Jess
    Mar 03

    Snap chat is not all that bad. 11 is still young but they basically just send cute pics back and fourth between friends. Socializing is important during the pre teen years. It’s a tough call but you can always monitor the phone. Good luck!

  • Carolyn
    Mar 06

    We have software through our service provider and its a parental program that allows blocking programs limit times etc.

  • Nick
    Mar 07

    There are a lot of parental controls options for smart phones that allow you to block specific apps. My kids have iPhones mostly so I can keep track of their locations when they’re not at home and so they can call me if they need something. The iPhones have built-in controls for locking out apps and setting time limits. I know that Android phones have all the same capabilities.