Anonymous

Preparing for Pregnancy

Hi, My fiancé and I are planning on getting pregnant in little over a year and a half and I’m looking for recommendations when it comes to preparing and things to do during pregnancy. I have two step kids but no biological children so this is my first time being pregnant. Any suggestions on books to read, websites that give you what not to do and what to do, etc. things like that. Thank you!

  • Anonymous
    Mar 04

    Kellymom is my favorite breastfeeding education website by far

  • Anonymous
    Mar 04

    One thing I didn’t realize, I had my in laws at mine for 2 weeks, 2 days after we came home. I didn’t try to breastfeed properly as they where here and I didn’t want to hide in the bedroom all day with my son. Next baby it will be soo different. If any one stays it will be my mum or sis and I wont care with them if i hide away or even try to breastfeed with them in the same room. My son was in the nicu and used to a bottle for his first 5 days and I knew I wasn’t going to nurse long due to new meds. Now it would def be totally different. When your ready either look out for signs your ovulating like cervical mucus or use predictor tests for a couple months so you know for sure when your ovulating. Dont use lubes at all as that can kill sperm. Dont stress too much when trying to conceive and if it doesn’t happen within 6-12 months check out with a dr. We have had fertility probs on hubbys side and we’ve had to do fertility treatment with donor semen. I also read the what to expect when your expecting. Good luck!

  • B
    Mar 04

    It’s so great that you’re thinking ahead. Know that getting pregnant can take a while for most couples. So keep that in your timeline. At this point, just start talking about parenting and discipline style, to make sure you’re on the same page. Start taking prenatals 6 months before trying. Pick an Ob or midwife based on where you want to deliver. Tour the hospitals (or birthing centers) and pick one, then find a doctor that delivers there. Once pregnant, I like what to expect book for basic info, and the Ovia pregnancy app. Kellymom is the best website for all things breastfeeding, but don’t stress that until late into pregnancy. I also found taking a class on breastfeeding and basic parenting stuff with my hubs helpful in the last trimester. We also took a birthing class, which was fine.

  • Kate
    Mar 04

    Congrats! Consider getting your AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) tested. It can give you a realistic estimate of how your egg supply looks. It can either confirm that waiting another 1.5 years will be just fine, or it may indicate that getting started sooner than later could be helpful.

  • PK
    Mar 04

    A lot of great advice on here.. I second the Ovia pregnancy app. It was really cool reading about baby’s development at each week as well as size comparison. It also had an anonymous forum where you could ask questions. Don’t over search things as it will drive you nuts. Find an Obgyn that you trust and depend on them for your questions on what is ok to do and not. I had a male obgyn who was so great and made me feel comfortable. However at 12 weeks he had to retire due to medical reasons and handed me off to a female colleague. She was great for the most part and I trusted that I was being handed off to someone just as great, but when it came down to delivery and postpartum, she sucked and I will not go back to her for baby #2. Male vs female doesn’t matter. Just find a good dr that you like. Prenatals... birthing class and a basic parenting class with your partner. Do some research about postpartum. I didn’t even think about that so I felt so unprepared. The nurses at the hospital were great with helping me through it all but I just wish I was more prepared on what to expect my body to go through afterwards.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 04

    These are all great suggestions but make sure that both of you talk about after the birth also. It’s important to be on the same page as how you both see your roles with child rearing. Do you take care of the child mostly? How do you see the father’s role and how your fiancé sees his role? How do you see his support for you and house hold? It’s a lot of changes to your body, mentally and the dynamics between your “new” relationship. It’s worth considering and talking about to make it work for both of you.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 04

    Ovia pregnancy app is great! I used glow app and it told me when to have sex to get pregnant and I did and it worked 🤷🏽‍♀️ be sure to take pre natals leading up to pregnancy and of course during. Don’t stress, it’ll be great!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Mar 04

    So, I’m going to argue the almost opposite of all of this. Besides a prenatal, you don’t need to do much. The more you stress about it, the harder it will be to get pregnant. I would focus on continuing to grow your bond with your spouse and doing fun things you can’t do pregnant (foods and drinks you can’t have, trip to an amusement park, etc). I honestly believe we create many false expectations on how easy it is to get pregnant, how pregnancy will go, and worst off creating a birth plan expecting we have control over something we don’t. There is very little they really know and can do in the medical field to help us deal with pregnancy woes and the birth will go as it goes. I honestly wish I had spent more time reading about how the brain grows and works in babies and toddlers during my pregnancy rather than worrying about the things I couldn’t control. Wish you all the best!

  • Tiana
    Mar 04

    Talk about your parenting philosophies NOW. Make the most of your child free months ahead of you, if you have any weight to lose, do it before you get pregnant, for a healthier and easier time. Find a place to live that is child friendly. Moving sucks when preggo or new mom.

  • Anonymous
    Mar 05

    Also- baby sit! Small babies, toddlers, medium babies, boy babies, girl babies. Just get your feet wet. I babysat pretty regularly when I was a teenager and I thought I had a decent idea of being a caregiver..... I was so wrong. Set your alarm on your phone for every 2 hours one night, that’s a good training (kidding)😂 but in all seriousness- I agree w above ^ just don’t stress, it’ll be fine, there’s really no preparing, it’s the BEST days of your life.

  • anonymous mom
    Mar 05

    My advice would be to start thinking about your parenting philosophies and what happens after the baby comes. I didn’t like being pregnant...all 40 weeks were really hard and I had a difficult time with it. I won’t go into details but it wasn’t fun. Having said all of that, those 40 weeks are a blip on my radar now. They pass so fast and then parenthood begins. I’d also make sure you have a decent handle on breastfeeding if you plan to BF. and finally, I would sleep now while you can. I don’t mean that you’ll never sleep again once baby comes. I have a pretty “easy” child and she sleeps well and I do too. But the sleep isn’t the same. I don’t think I’ll ever sleep deeply and carefree like I did before I had a baby. The well-being and safety of your child is always on your mind and sleeping just isn’t the same after they come. So even once you achieve pregnancy, sleep whenever you can. Good luck!!!

  • Purva Gujar
    Mar 05

    I'd recommend a good diet (including prenatal vitamins) and regular exercise (highly recommend The Lotus Method)

  • Jess
    Mar 07

    I liked the Mayo Clinic guide to pregnancy (title is something like that) because it’s just information without judgment or advice. Also I would suggest a breastfeeding class or book just to give you some confidence and position ideas, for some women it’s tough and others it’s a breeze. And in my opinion sleep training is life saving. I have friends still rocking their 2 year olds to sleep three times a night 😬. There’s a super short book, 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old (which is overly strict I think but has good basic ideas) or secrets of the baby whisperer; basically the same methods. Honestly though the first month or so just do whatever works to survive, sleep train afterwards. The one thing I wished I really believed first time around is you don’t need anything really. It’s kind of amazing how you just know what to do, your instincts kick in and so will your confidence. Same with pregnancy. Just take care of yourself and let yourself nap if you can, your body is busy doing all the work. I’m pregnant with my second and I don’t worry about any of it. I’ll refresh on sleep training when she’s almost here but otherwise it’s a relief to know I’ll figure it out. All your baby will need is your love and boobs/bottle 😂. Newborns are surprisingly low maintenance that way.

  • Allison
    Mar 08

    My Dr’s office gave me a book on pregnancy at my first appointment , which was nice. You could ask your OB/GYN if they recommend a certain one. I have a 10 mo old and the first 3 months were hard! I highly recommend the book “Happiest Baby on the Block.” My baby wasn’t colicky but I still used his advice and was really happy with the results. I also recommend doing a pregnancy journal (i got one as a gift) and taking pictures weekly. It’s really fun to look back on. Also a little baby book is fun (I also got one of those as a gift).

  • Allison
    Mar 08

    Also, everyone told me but I didn’t believe them, breastfeeding is HARD! That’s part of why the first 3 months were so hard. We had a lot of issues. Just know “Fed is best” and don’t be too hard on yourself if you experience troubles!

  • Jess
    Mar 20

    Babycenter.com is a website I’m on every week/other day and keeps you updated each stage of your pregnancy. You’ll never be fully prepared even if you have XXX-XXXX00$$$ lol but just try to enjoy your pregnancy and don’t be scared to call your dr for anything! Everyone’s pregnancy is different and that includes physically and emotionally.