Posted in Family Life, Holidays

Rant: Easter family issues

Anonymous

My family gets together every Easter for lunch at my mother’s. We basically get together for the main holidays and every few months for birthdays. This year, my sister’s kids were going to be at their dad’s. Their dad is now letting the kids go with my sister on Easter. Rather than going to my mom’s, they are going to her boyfriend’s family get together and skipping my mom’s. My sister and her b/f have been together 2.5 years now but it is still just her boyfriend imo. He doesn’t come to most of our family gatherings because of his job or he chooses not to. Whatever. However, my sister goes to all his family stuff and has let her kids skip our family gatherings to stay with his family. Am I being too sensitive? Would this bother others? If I brought it up, she would get mad!

  • Anonymous
    Apr 16

    It sounds like the issue is her boyfriend? Is it just him that doesn’t want to go to your family stuff or do you think it’s her too? My husband isn’t a fan of my family gatherings... my family knows it and they don’t really bring it up to me anymore because they know it’s a sensitive topic. If anything, they’ll just say “hey, we really miss having you at these events. What can we change so you can make it next time?” My brother and his wife are the same way.. my brother tends to do more things with his wife’s family. He doesn’t want to (he told us her family is annoying) but she calls the shots in their relationship. My family stopped pressuring him because we know it’s a sensitive topic and he gets really upset being torn in the middle like that. We value his happiness over anything so we just let it go. My brother and his wife have been together longer than my husband and me so I had that experience first. Knowing how much it sucks for my family, I have been upfront with my husband about being fair with how much time we spend with his family and how much time we spend with mine. So he makes an effort but I just get an earful of complaints in private 🙄 I told him his family isn’t perfect either so he is working on it. Anyway... that’s my perspective. I don’t think you’re being sensitive but you should be sensitive to your sisters situation. Tell her you guys miss her and would love to see them come around more often. Try to get her to open up about why she isn’t attending and going to her boyfriends events instead. Have a talk about balance between time spent between two families.