Anonymous

RELATIONSHIPS! HELP!

After you argue with your significant other... do you say sorry to eachother? Go into separate rooms? Leave the house or act like it never happened? How long does it take for that to happen? Do you stay mad for long?

  • Anonymous
    Jun 14

    My husband and I have grown up together since we were 16 so we don’t really have much to fight about anymore except being annoyed of each other (I call it too much togetherness). Anyways, if we’re actually upset we do walk away from each other, honestly the only good way to avoid a big fight ESPECIALLY when one of us knows this is a dumb fight (aka nothing really important). I’m a huge talker so I like to talk about it, but I usually will wait until it’s bedtime and we’re cooled off and laying down. Something like “earlier that really hurt my feelings, I didn’t mean to snap back but you didn’t need to say it that way”. And he or me will always make peace. If it’s something small and we’re just annoyed of each other then we just take space and move forward without talking about it usually. Our phrase is “are we friends again?” And we both agree yes, then we move on with our day.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 14

    Depends on the argument... for the most part we just go into separate rooms or go on with our day while being cold to each other until one of us starts the apologies. We have had serious arguments where he has left the house or I have left the house before. There’s always an apology from one side or both in the end though. And depending on the argument... we have started apologizing/forgiving within half an hour to days. I know we aren’t the healthiest couple... but hey, we are still together. Going on 7 years together and 3 of those years married.

  • Bethany
    Jun 15

    We just hear each other out and listen to one another. Before we would just talk over each other and not want to be wrong. We are now patient with each other and don’t raise our voices. Sometimes we will walk out of the room because I need time to think about what I’m going to say. You just can’t be quick to anger

  • Kieli
    Jun 15

    Depends. Sometimes we leave the room for a few minutes if it’s something silly. But if it’s something serious we talk it out. I’ve been with my husband since high school, so we haven’t had heated arguments for a long time. We have never left the house because we have gotten so frustrated. Usually my husband always says sorry first, even if he shouldn’t. That’s something I am working on in our relationship still. We don’t stay mad at each other very long

  • Elle
    Jun 15

    Always talk and apologize after. Try not to make the same mistakes twice. No one is perfect, but always try to be better.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 15

    I was told that arguments and fights are part of the marriage. The thing you need to figure out is how to fight and argue in a healthy manner that is unique to your relationship. So both of you need to figure out how each other argues and the best way to approach arguments. My husband knows that I need time to cool off so he will always be the first to step away from me and then apologize. I hate it when he walks away from me like that but I know he does it for our benefit. As far as what I do with him? I know that when I get mad that a lot of nonsense comes out of my mouth. So I just try to say less and hear what he has to say then I will gather my thoughts and talk to him in a calm manner at a different time or text or email... yes I’m a millennial 😆 Another thing that I realized with my husband AFTER I married him is that he has trouble taking a different perspective than his own. So if I’m upset about something I will take the time to give him analogies on how he made me feel or scenarios of where I do something similar (but unique for his situation/environment) to him and ask him how he feels. That’s why we fight a lot because he does stuff without regard of how it affects me. He’s doing a lot better now.

  • Julie
    Jun 16

    We have the understanding that we never fall asleep angry. He jokes that we start all our big fights early in the day so we have a full day to resolve it. We do apologize if it’s necessary. We walk away if necessary too. We rarely act like it never happened because both of us like to resolve our problems ASAP. We are too sensitive to just forget about it without talking it through.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 17

    My husband and I argue. It has varied in levels of intensity thus handled differently. Most small arguements we'll brush off or talk it thru within hours or by the next day. The longer ones we tend to cool off in different rooms. There has been one extreme instance where before we even talked about the situation, I needed time to think to myself. Long story short, he admitted almost cheating on me while on a week long business trip with one of his coworkers. Reason is he thought I was cheating on him with one of my coworkers for who knows how long (which isn't completely unfounded because I have emotionally cheated before on my ex-boyfriend but I have been open to my husband about that past and kept my promise not only to him but to myself that I wouldn't make that same mistake). We didn't talk that night when he arrived home to tell me nor the morning after when we both went to work. When we both got home at the same time, I told him I needed to take a walk and literally walked about three miles to a bench thinking about the context of it all before I called my sister and poured out crying. When I was ready, I walked back and we sat at the table to discuss. Admittedly it's taken time and it sucks that I can still remember it when topics like this come up. Younger I thought communication being extremely important in a relationship was silly, but now I see that it truly is the thing that can make or break a relationship. It literally almost killed our relationship when my husband didn't tell me his concerns, but when he finally did even if it was bad, it opened up a door to healing. For any advice, I say don't ignore each other for long. Step away for a while to collect your thoughts but always come back to discuss and apologize as need be. Try your best to be open. You literally want to be together forever so better to address anything while small before it explodes later.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 17

    Wow. Thank you so much! I'm sorry you had to go through that 😔 no woman should ever have to hear those words! You're a strong being! Thank you for sharing.