SAHM of 3 under 3, introvert, needs a break
I’m a SAHM with 5 month old twins and an almost 3 year old. I’m an introvert and need time alone to rejuvenate. I haven’t had time alone for so long yet I feel so alone in life. I used to have a career I worked really hard for, including 2 graduate degrees, and had an office where I worked on paperwork alone much of the day. I remember I used to feel lonely but now I miss that so much. I don’t miss the work but I miss being alone. I left my career for many reasons when my son was 1, partially because I wanted to be with him and felt I’d be a better mom...but I feel I’m worse now because I don’t get a break ever. Lately once I get one or two kids asleep for naps during the day then the third wakes up. It’s not like I expect to nap or a long time to myself but I have a lot I need to get done and also just need space. I just need a half an hour or something where no one needs me. My husband is supportive of me and needing time alone but honestly it’s hard because when he gets home from work I have to pump then we make dinner then eat and then dishes and putting the kids to bed. Before I know it, it’s 9pm and I have to pump again before going to bed. I really don’t want to go out and do anything because I don’t feel I have friends anymore since I had twins for some reason and it’s MN so it’s freaking cold out. Also I don’t know where I’d go or what I’d do. I can go downstairs sometimes but can still hear everything upstairs even with music on. We move in a month and at least there I will have more space to escape there but then we’ll have less time because it’s further from his work. I just feel so trapped and overwhelmed. Even when my MIL comes to help once in a while it’s hard because I still don’t have time to myself. It’s almost worse. It’s not an option to go back to work because I don’t want to go back to that career and even if I did I could never make the $4,000 a month that we’d need to cover daycare for my 3 under 3. I’m not sure why I’m posting, just need to vent and maybe know if I’m not the only one feeling this way.