Posted in Parenting Culture, Stay-at-Home Parents

SAHM: So you can watch my kids, right?


I recently became a SAHM and the question has already been asked, “So, if there’s an emergency, we can just bring the kids over to your house, right?” It wasn’t even really a question. It was a statement. I’m not really sure what to say to be honest. I couldn’t stay home with our first child because we couldn’t afford it financially. Now, with our second being over a year old, we are at a place where we can, but are making sacrifices to do so. There have been so many late working nights that I couldn’t spend time with my family, and I’m looking forward to finally putting my family first. However, it’s a family member that said to me if their daycare is was closed, they could just bring their child to our house. And while I’d love to spend time with their child, I also have a little one that requires a lot of attention. Not to mention that I’ll be responsible for the cooking, cleaning, errands and dropping off/picking up our child going to elementary school. We don’t make a lot of money for me to do this. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to say no? How have you handled this situation?

  • Anonymous
    Jun 30, 2019

    If it becomes a constant thing I'd understand, but for emergencies, I think there shouldn't be an issue. Other families cant afford missing a day of work and childcare costs pretty much make going to work noth worth it. If its only on rare occasions, what's the big deal if you're already at home? And if you're not comfortable with it just say so.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 01, 2019

    Daycares don’t close that often do they? I agree with anonymous - if it was a constant thing I would be irritated. If it was a rare occasion - I don’t see the problem unless they just drop in without at least a bit of notice or support with snacks and food for their own kids. Is that what you’re worried about for costing money? If anything, it’s just going to cost you your time. If it does become a constant thing - I would say something like “I already have my hands full with my own kids and the things I need to get done at home, could you find an alternative?”

  • Anne
    Jul 01, 2019

    If this is a family member I would just sit down and have an up-front conversation about it. "Hey, you mentioned using me for back-up child care in emergencies. I'm happy to help if I can, but can we set some ground rules so we both know what to expect?" Then figure out what would feel fair to you given your responsibilities to your own family. Do you want advance notice first? Do you want to impose a limit to the number of days (e.g. once per month) you can cover for? Do you have to maintain a specific schedule? etc. Pushing back a little to establish some boundaries might help this person understand you have your own responsibilities and that your time is valuable too.

  • Natasha
    Jul 01, 2019

    Say no, your kids and family need to build up your bond and if that “emergency” time comes up then you make a decision then but say for the current time that you need to focus on the well being and development of your current children and that your not ready at the time to add additional kids. 💗

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 09, 2019

    Ugh, the audacity. And under what circumstances would a daycare close and a parent would still need to work?? I mean, if it’s an in-home provider, they would close for a week or so for vacation maybe?? In that case I thought it was standard for the person to help the parents find other fellow providers to bring their kids to for the week. The only other reason a daycare (in home or center) would close would be for bad that case, I guessss if you’re okay with it they can pay you for YOUR time and effort to take care of their kid. I just don’t see any other reason someone would assume they could “use” a stay at home parent for backup childcare. How annoying.