Posted in Marriage & Partnership, Money

SAHM’s and Money

Anonymous

How do other SAHM’s have their money set up? We currently have all joint accounts, but it’s just not working. My husband is the only one that makes money and he is very critical where his money goes. For example: When I get groceries or household items he will see the transaction on the bank account, then ask me, “What did you buy at Walmart? What did you buy at Target? What did you buy at Dollar General?” I don’t feel like I should have to ramble off everything I purchased that day. So how can we set up our money so he isn’t worried about what I bought and I don’t constantly get annoyed because I’m supplying our home with the things we need?

  • Amanda
    Jan 31

    I’m a SAHM and my husband is the only money maker. I do all the bills and anything money. He doesn’t care as long as he has money for his needs. So we just have a set amount that is his only which isn’t a lot since we have 7 Kids. We both know that his money is our money which is to pay bills and supply the family with things we need. If I’m wanting to buy extra stuff or something just because then I usually ask him and he just tells me to do whatever I want as long as we have the money for it. And if he wants something more then the normal monthly money set aside for him then he just ask me if the money is there for it. I would just make him deal with getting things for the house and what is needed. Maybe ask him for a set amount out of each pay check just for you to use for whatever you want. Technically his money is yalls money because y’all are married.

  • Jenn
    Jan 31

    My husband works and I'm a SAHM. We use the You Need A Budget app. He allocates all the money and manages the categories (mostly because I have no patience to do it). When you enter a transaction, you can put in a note. Sometimes I'll do it at bigger stores like Target, WalMart, etc. so I can remember I bought diapers, laundry detergent, etc. I do it more for myself than anything but I imagine it could come in handy in your situation. I'm a bit worried for you that your husband seems controlling though. Maybe I'm just jumping the gun a bit but the barrage of questions and need to control money is coming off to me as a big red flag for domestic violence. Please please please if you feel like that is the case and you need to talk to someone, call the national domestic violence hotline: 1−XXX-XXXX I apologize if I'm way off base but I'd rather be embarrassed about being wrong than let someone suffer like that.

  • PK
    Jan 31

    My husband and I each have our own personal checking account and then we have a joint savings. My husband’s pay check goes directly into his personal checking and he keeps the amount that he needs to pay certain bills and transfers the remaining to savings. He pays for utilities, cell phone, and mortgage out of his checking account. I pay for everything else - expenses on food, supplies or services that we need done in the house. When I was working that would come out of my paycheck and I transferred what was remaining into savings. Now I just pull that money out from savings. So my husband sees how much I pull each month and its usually the same every month. If it’s within our budget that we discussed then he doesn’t ask any questions. If it’s more he will ask me what happened and it’s usually something like it’s the holiday season, subscription payments, gifts for birthdays or other events, emergency house repairs/work, or dr visits. He only asks for details if I’m spending 200+ over our budget.

  • Lily
    Jan 31

    I found an awesome plan from someone on YouTube that has a great system for this! Because it is hard not making any of your own money. Look up Fun Cheap or free on YouTube!! But what she does is she and her husband agree on how much needs to spent on food and other things each week and she has that much to do whatever with. No questions asked after they agree on the amount.