Anonymous

Second child

I just found out I’m pregnant with our second. Completely freaking out. My son will be 3.5 when the baby comes. What do you wish you knew or someone told you about before your second came along? Thank you!

  • Eugenia
    Oct 17

    My older 2 children were that far apart and they are 8 and almost 5 now. For advice I would say to invest in a bigger car now if you think you want to have another. Car space is important if you want to still travel. Always keep hand me downs even if they are of the opposite gender. Thrift shopping is best to keep your budget steady. Free milk is a great option if you can. I breast fed all my babies for over a year each and we saved Soo much money. Health insurance will help you get a pump if your obgyn writes up a RX. As far as the kids working together when they are older that's up to your discretion. The attention you give your second will be more in the beginning but if you include your first on feedings and diaper changes and play time and such then there won't be a frustrated toddler screaming with your baby. Idk if I covered what you needed or if you had any specific questions .😊

  • Jacky
    Oct 17

    My son is 3 and a half and my baby girl is going to be 3 months this month, one of the main things I advise you to do is to inform your son of everything thats going on and love on him every free second you get because just like its a big change for us as mommies its an even bigger change for them.

  • Brittnylynn
    Oct 18

    Let your child be involved with the new baby as much as possible. That way they don’t feel their being replaced and they get equal attention. I let my then 5 year old help with diaper changes, getting dressed, packing the diaper bag etc. he was also immediately in the room to meet the baby right away.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 19

    My daughter will be 2.5 when baby comes along, I’ve tried as much as possible to get her ready for the transition. Like reading an immense amount of books on the baby coming, and being a big sister. I tell her it’s “our” baby. While I’m setting up the nursery, I tell her what I’m doing and how we will use it for the baby. Like the changing table, clothes, etc. I was told to involve her as much as possible. Like for bath time, play time, and not to diminish her role at all. When the baby comes make sure everyone says hello first to her before going to say hi to the baby. I told my husband, I’d like for her to be the first after us to hold the baby. Good luck, I’m worried for my oldest too.

  • Rebecca
    Oct 20

    That you will survive. That the first month it was like having two new children as the first child’s world was rocked big time and she sure showed it with her behavior but now after my second is 4 months old life Is getting back to normal. My kids are 3 years apart. Don’t mean to scare you but we survived.

  • Momof2
    Oct 20

    1.No one told me how much I would miss my first child when the second one came along. I exclusively breast-fed so I was spending much more time with the baby plus i was cosleeping with the baby. 2.If you are nursing the baby figure out a way to nurse her in a carrier makes it easier to keep up with your older one so you don’t have to be stationary during feedings. 3.Also getting a portable breast pump is helpful so when you’re pumping you don’t need to be stationary. 4. Anytime your older child asks for attention/for you to play with them/read them a book stop what you’re doing, (if possible) and do it with them for as little as 30 seconds. It will mean a lot to your older child that you stopped what you were doing to meet their needs and it doesn’t have to be a super long time because in a toddler‘s world 30 seconds or a minute is really long. 5. The Beginning is really hard but it does get easier! My girls are two and four now and play really well together. i’m sure you will do great!

  • Carly
    Oct 24

    Hi! I just found out were preggo yesterday! My daughter will be almost 3 when the new one arrives. I am also here to get advice! As of right now if I even pick up another child, my daughter loses it. Really worried how this will go. But on the other hand the home day care she goes to, has a 5 month old, and the teacher said she is her #1 helper for the baby. Feeds him, and sings to him. We'll see!!! Good luck!

  • Jessica
    Oct 24

    Mine are 2.5 years apart. I didn't realize how much easier it was when the baby was younger and immobile. Once lo was mobile things got much harder, in my opinion. Also, how much I was going to miss one on one time with our oldest. Keeping the oldest in preschool was really helpful so I had some time to bond with baby. It also kept a bit of routine to our days which works best for me. Ours are now 3.5 and 6 and the best of friends. They play together all the time... It's really great. They are also both fairly independent as they rely on each other vs us. Best of luck.

  • Sara
    Oct 24

    Your son will do great — this is such a gift for him! Of course there is some adjustment for the first child when the second arrives, but my older daughter adjusted pretty quickly and her little sister is now her best friend. My girls are inseparable and even though life has gotten more challenging with 2, it has also gotten better. I’m now expecting #3 so you can take that as a testament to how much I appreciated and adjusted to having 2.