Posted in Behavior, Siblings, Toddlers

Second child tantrums


I have two daughters. My older one is 4 and my younger one is 17 months. My younger daughter goes crazy if she doesn’t get her way. She will get extremely physical (tantrums, biting, hitting, etc) and has even hurt her older sister on multiple occasions. Her older sister is SO GOOD TO HER. Always giving her what she wants and being so sweet to her. I just don’t get why my 17 month old acts this way. Her latest thing is she refuses to get in her car seat and will make it impossible for anyone to strap her in without accidentally hurting her. Is this just a second child thing to act out frequently for attention? How can I help her not freak out all the time?

  • Anonymous
    Oct 29, 2019

    I don’t know about a second child thing because my son went through this for a few months around 18 mo. But I just did my best to be calm and stop his in his tracks as often as I could reminding him that how he was acting wasn’t nice and telling him what is a nice way to act. I think his bad behavior really peaked at this time bc his words were still SO limited, I’d think it was all out of frustration. I spent many many many many many hours saying. “Ok let’s calm down and say, mama can I please read that book” and he’d only get out “please” or “book” but that’d worked for me! He’s 23 mo and the kid talks in full sentences now! I think it’s brain overload of trying to look to talk and communicate with everyone! Keep working at it :)

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 30, 2019

    No, it’s not a second child thing. Kids are different. Doesn’t matter gender or family rank. This also sounds normal for a 1.5 yr old sorting out how to establish themselves in the world. Do you let her buckle herself? My almost two has been buckling the chest buckle for a while now. She’s always proud to do that. She sounds like she may be needing more power. Can you find ways to give her more choices where both are acceptable to you? Let her pick her plate or color utensils at mealtime. Let her pick her clothes or what to put on first. Ask if she wants you or her sister to help her buckle, anywhere and everywhere you can give her choices and power, do it. The only way it may be a second child thing is that she can see how close she is to being able to do bigger kid stuff, and she just desperately wants to be like her big sister. But tantrums and wanting to get their way is pretty normal toddler stuff. Good luck!!