Posted in Divorce & Separation, Marriage & Partnership, Relationships

Separation and Coparenting

Anonymous

My ex and I are trying to create a parenting agreement without having to go to court. Are there any ideas on what for sure needs to be in it? Or ideas on things that are good to include or not include?

  • Anonymous
    Mar 18

    To be sure things will be official & enforceable, it’s good to include a lawyer. That way if anyone tries to stray too seriously from the agreement, you have a leg to stand on.

  • Joanna
    Mar 18

    You can get custody forms for your state and you can use a mediation service without going to court. You'll just file the notarized forms. You want to specify physical custody as well as medical decision making. Financial obligations. Notice required to the other party when intending to move or for prolonged absence. Consequences when violating terms. It is good that your separation seems amicable but these negotiations can bring out the worst in people.

  • Hope
    Mar 18

    You can write up a stipulation that you both sign and have signed off my court. You don’t need a lawyer to do this because you are agreeing on what information you wrote in the packet. Things like holidays, child care costs, medical and dental insurance and costs, child support, etc. at least that’s how it is in MN not sure what state you are in.

  • Mary
    Mar 19

    I just filed my separation agreement, divorce final in 30 days... We used a mediator as we are very amicable and only used the court to file. Our SA has the following in it: Custody - list out who has legal and physical... it could 50/50 for both. Parenting schedule - who has who and when... list out the every day - what a typical week looks like. And then add in all the caveats; thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, children’s birthdays, parents birthdays, Fourth of July, and vacation - for how long, if there is location restrictions, and how much notice must be given. We added in location of child exchange (something most don’t think about until they realize it’s one sided doing all the driving). We also put in child support... there are worksheets that will tell you what it should be - and the court is the only place for that to be enforced, and they will make sure it is fair. You can just pull a number out of thin air. Ours listed out when the child is considered emancipated, and all these things are in place through emancipation. We also listed out education plan, how much we are willing to pay. You must specify who is paying health, dental, and vision. Who will claim the child on taxes. And if you have life insurance and want to make sure the child gets some, ours had that in there too. There are more things to add if it’s a divorce, but doesn’t sound like that. Make sure every little thing that has anything to do with the kids is covered. I hope this helps!

  • Laura
    Mar 28

    If it’s “not so amicable” you would want to add that when the child is visiting, parents should encourage contact with the other parent. The contact should only be positive in nature and initiated only twice a day, with child’s contact amount 24/7. Also state in the Agreement that there are to be no disparaging comments made by ANYONE, to or around the child. Also specify which parent is responsible for pick up and which one for drop off. Plus, make certain that both parents information is to be included on all of the child’s school contact information sheets on file.