Severe tooth decay in baby
I am usually incredibly open and like to share here so we can all learn from and support one another but I have to admit the shame surrounding this is DEEP and I am going to hide behind the “anonymous” button. I have a 4 year old. She has always been great about letting us brush her teeth and now as she gets closer to 4 she is starting to brush first and we give a once over afterward. So let’s go back in time. When she was 2.5 I was pregnant with her brother, and I guess my milk changed and she stopped nursing and all we could think to do was switch to bottles of cow milk (she’s super thin and always has been), so we didn’t want to cut all those calories. Anyway, toward the end of my pregnancy (which was TERRIBLE the whole time) I was just half alive. I could watch my daughter for the time my husband was at work, but when he got home I just went to bed and then got up when my husband left for work the next day. So teeth brushing fell to my husband. But it turned out he wasn’t doing it. So for 6-8 weeks her teeth just didn’t get brushed. Then a month after I gave birth I took her to her 3yo check up and the dentist said her teeth looked awful and she had terrible decay on one and needed a crown on it. I freaked out. I screamed at dad for not brushing (not proud) and we changed our routines. We got the crown. They did it in office. She didn’t even cry, the end of that. So after my baby boy was born something still wasn’t right with me. First, it was 6 months of colic for the baby and 6 months of PPD for me. The baby wouldn’t nurse so had to start formula. He didn’t get teeth until later but I brushed them at night (he fought and screamed.) I told dad (who still had morning duty) to make sure both kids‘ teeth were brushed well before he left. After the PPD passed (~8months post partum) my health was BAD. I was diagnosed with 3 autoimmune disorders including Lupus. (No wonder I was tired and low energy and felt like death all the time.) So dad took a little more time off and he again was in charge of night and morning teeth while I got as much extra sleep as I could. So. Turns out for the past 3 months dad HAS NOT brushed 21 mo teeth, only 4.5 yo because the baby fights and it’s “too hard”. So upon learning this I made their check up appointments with dentist and then I got the toothbrush and sat down to see what we had in that little baby mouth. And he had cavities on EVERY SINGLE TOOTH. I mean ALL OF THEM! I literally cried as it flooded through my head what was going to happen. I know. I have all the warning pamphlets cause I am the one who takes them to Drs and dentists and does everything. I know about milk/bottle rot on teeth. I know baby teeth need extra extra care. I know how bad that damage is and I know they can’t fix that at a normal dental office. So I fretted for a few days but today I took him in and they saw us as a walk-in and my horrors were solidified. My baby needs 8 crowns at least, and that’s if they can save the molars at all-otherwise extractions. And it has to be done in a specialty hospital for pediatric dental surgery and it has to be done under general anesthesia. I sobbed. I feel like the worst parent in the world for letting this happen. I had let it happen with my baby girl and even after knowing dads demeanor with these things “if it’s hard don’t bother” I still didn’t check in on it. My friends keep telling me it’s not my fault- it’s dads, and that I had my own health to worry about but I can’t forgive myself for this. And what if something happens?!? A baby this young shouldn’t be going under anesthesia at all, especially for something so preventable! And what if they can/will only do metal crowns and he has a smile full of silver teeth???? it’s all 4 of his top front teeth and all 4 molars. Sorry this is so long but I need to know anything anybody has to say about experience with this stuff! I brushed diligently as a kid! My husband shrugged and said “I had all silver crowns as a kid.” I’m like well I don’t want my baby to! And I’m sure it hurts, and of course the treatment will be uncomfortable and of course it will traumatizing for him. Etc! And I can’t even express how much we CANNOT afford this right now. It’s estimated at around $2200 AFTER Denti-cal (we have Medi-cal insurance) pays for their part!! Our plan: get in ASAP with the children’s specialty dental Dept at UCSF (but this is quite a trek for us and it’s a teaching hospital so it’s done with a team of residents overseen by a teacher.) Has anyone tried that type of thing? TIA!