Posted in Marriage & Partnership, Sex, Relationships

Sex drive after baby is born

Anonymous

Hey so my baby is 7 months old. And my fiance and I tried having sex at like 3 months post birth and it hurt so we said we can try later but since then I have had very very little desire to do anything sexual. I am tired all the time, my fiance and I have many stressors out side of our relationship and we tend to argue a decent amount about different things(all healthy though) but when I'm upset I have no desire at all to have sex. So with being tired, usually frustraighted about something, or just simply not interested; I shut him down basically anytime he asks. Has anyone else experienced anything like this...? What do you think would help?

  • Elle
    Nov 27

    That doesnt sound good.... Im sure youll get a lot of responses from people sayibg the same happened to them and few responses that they did not because it's hard to reply to a post like this if it dodnt happen to you and manage to not sound insensitive. (But I will try!) Im sorry that you'rebgoing through this! I hope you find the culprit soon and can get back to happy, sexually satified! normal with your hubby. Physical intimacy [read: so much broader than just vaginal penetration] is soooo important for both partners in a relationship. Are you nursing? Not getting regular exercise? Has your thyroid been checked? Sleep deprived? All of those things -- plus PPD and PPA -- can throw your hormones seriously off-kilter.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 27

    I am nursing, I exercise some, I'm back Down to pre baby weight. Definitely sleep deprived my baby still wakes up 2-3 times a night. I don't show any other signs of PPD and I'm not 100% sure what PPA is. And my thyroid is good

  • Jill
    Nov 27

    This totally happen to me. I hated even the thought of having sex knowing what just happen down there. It did hurt. The tiredness will never go away lol but it’s a normal for most of us that we get used too. Try some lube and just tell him how you’re feeling. Men are ready to go all the time and after a baby, I am not. I need to be romanced and have some fore play. So maybe just take a shower with him while baby is napping, or first thing in the morning. Have him give you back rubs and kisses. Tell him it has to go back to the way it was at the very beginning. Sorry so long!! I hope this helps. It will get better I promise!

  • Elle
    Nov 27

    Waking routinely 2-3 times / night could be doing it! That's some serious sleep deprivation. Prisoners don't even get that treatment. 7 months of that is really harsh on your body, too. Getting a few sessions/week of 30 minutes of break-a-sweat kind of exercise (ie jogging, running, biking, swimming laps) will regulate hormones and reduce stress too. PPA is post partum anxiety. I suggested it as a potential thing to look into because of the number of times in your post you mentions the word stress or similar words (stressors, upset, frustrated).