Anonymous

Stay at Home Parents and Christmas

This is my first Christmas as a stay at home mom...how did you stay at home parents cope with not having money to buy your partner or your side of the family Christmas gifts? I just want to cry. I feel so horrible. My family completely understand but it just hurts my heart so bad, I love being able to give during the holidays.

  • Jade
    Nov 26, 2018

    What a generous heart you have! As you’ve said, your family all understands and that’s wonderful. Keep reminding yourself that gifts aren’t really what the holidays are about anyways. I know that’s easier said than done! I saw this floating around social media and thought it could be helpful? Often the best gifts are when we have to get a little creative with our resources!

  • Sara
    Nov 26, 2018

    For anyone with kids, an offer to babysit is the best gift ever and costs you only your time! This works for your partner too. Let him have a day to himself to do whatever on the weekend while you’re in charge of the kids. You can even design a cute little gift certificate for this. If they don’t have kids, you can offer up a getaway at your house if you have a spare bedroom. I live in San Francisco and people are always excited to make it a vacation destination so I have offered this up to folks in the past.

  • Anne
    Nov 26, 2018

    Can you get crafty? You can make a lot of great stuff with inexpensive ingredients — check out Pinterest for ideas. One of my most cherished possessions is a handprint of my baby that our nanny made for us using just flour and water. Barring that, just remember that gifts are not the reason for the season. Family and togetherness are! So you can honor the holidays in a different way, by calling/visiting, sending letters, and just letting people know you're thinking of them and you love them. Money won't be this tight forever!

  • Anonymous
    Nov 26, 2018

    @sara we just moved 3 hours away with no family with children close at all or I would totally do that. @Anne -we just finished a few footprint Christmas crafts that I will mail my family! I’m just not use to no actually buying things for them. It’s something I really enjoying doing. I know it’s not all about the gifts but I love being able to buy awesome Christmas gifts and watching their faces when they open it.

  • Laura
    Nov 26, 2018

    I might be misreading this, but are you saying your partner works so has the money to buy gifts for his side of the family, but you don't get to use some of that income to buy gifts for your side of the family?

  • Elena
    Nov 26, 2018

    I'm a stay at home mom and my husband always gave me a budget for both our family's actually I was the one saying not to go crazy with the budget lol.but I'm now a single stay at home mom and i feel you i dont know what to do i always bought stuff for my family now I'm so heartbroken I can't afford anything at all I get some help from my brother but how can I use hes money to buy him or the rest of as gifts I'm ashamed

  • Anonymous
    Nov 26, 2018

    It's your household money. Do you keep money separate from each other? It's your money just as much as his so you should be able to buy your family presents.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 27, 2018

    My side of the family is huge compared to his. He’s mentioned he wants to buy everyone on my side a gift but we realistically can not afford it. His side is just his mom, sister, and nephew. I don’t like asking for money because it’s tight and my side is pretty well off compared to his. We don’t keep money separate. He keeps it all and Venmo’s me money when I need it for bills and things like that. But I never ask for money just to spend it. @Elena - I feel the same way but with my partner. I can’t use his money to buy him Christmas/birthday gifts. And even for my own birthday I had my brother buy him the new Call of Duty cause that’s the only time I can actually get him something from me.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 27, 2018

    I know it feels like his money because he's the one out at work, but he's making that money at your expense. If you weren't staying at home he would likely have to work less to be with them or pay a baby sitter. You shouldn't be left with nothing because of that. Have you tried talking to him about this? Just explaining that you don't know what to do for your side of the family because it os big and that because it is his paycheck you feel like you can't do anything for him? I think a nice talk with him could ease some of your worries.