Posted in Behavior, In-Laws, Toddlers

Staying at in-laws

Anonymous

So Im staying with my in-laws for 4 weeks and then my husband (whose is traveling for this time) will join us for another 2 weeks before we get back home. My (only) toddler is regressing in every aspect in the past one week and its driving me up the wall (potty training, bed time routines, eating habits etc and its just been 10 days). There is a 6 hr time difference and he is a bit jet lagged. But my biggest issue is setting boundaries with my in-laws. My mother in law, who is a very nice and sweet person is being too lenient with him. She basically gives him anything he wants and lets him roam anywhere he wants (the house is obviously not child proofed), even when I tell her not to. She will keep the said thing(currency, a aaa battery, bottle of pills among other things) at his arms reach and say "your mom is asking me not to give". Of course this has resulted in him getting completely confused about boundaries. He now throws a fit and cries for every little thing. Im in turn confused to discern when he is jet lagged and when he is actually throwing a tantrum. He always goes to his granny if I say no. I have to run behind him or repeat myself 1000 times for simple things or threaten him that mommy will leave if he doesn't listen while they talk over me to him throughout. I feel awful for him. He is a typical 2 year old but back home he was fine, he would sit in his chair, eat his food etc. It was hard enough with the change, dealing with my in laws is challenging. And then there is the whole 'performer' issue. My kid talks a lot and sings lots of songs but still, he is just 2. He cant be expected to entertain everyone whenever they please. They don't seem to get it. They constantly ask him to sit in a place and sing for them or for anyone that comes to visit. Even sometimes when he is hungry or he needs to lay down (even at odd times coz he is jet lagged). Obviously he doesn't oblige. After all this they keep saying that he is being very spoilt and stubborn which is making me yell at him or get irritated with the whole situation. I am happy that he is bonding with his grand parents but im finding it extremely hard to do simple tasks. Will he simply adjust and get back to his normal self once we get back? Im finding it hard to get my point through to my in laws. While my mother in law simply thinks im over stressing, my father in law is too hard headed and gets offended/defensive when I say something to him. I keep telling myself not to take the negative comments about my child to heart because I know they are not true but its just very hard. This is more of a rant I guess than anything else.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 25

    It sounds like some of the frustration towards your in laws is being taken out on your son. When you get back home it will be a whole new battle. You need to set strict boundaries with his grandparents. <

  • Po
    Jan 25

    The child’s behavior sounds familiar. My child is doing the same thing since we have recently travelled. I just find things to distract her when she gets restless. Start discussing her favourite things, which gets her attention. Then ask questions like are you tired? Do you want to go to the toilet? Are you hungry? What do you need help with and whom do you want to help you. It’s a lot of work. But it’s less chaotic. Third party presence does seem like an automatic call for a performance:-) The situation is volatile when we have company. In short. You are not alone.