Step-Moms Situations

Any step-moms/ soon to be step-moms that can share their story and how their relationship is with the kids and bio mom? Especially when you come into their life when they are under 2 years old? Also, any biological Moms that have a step-mom in their kids life and how they feel about it? Do they call you Mom?

  • Anonymous
    Nov 13, 2018

    Each situation is so unique. I met my stepkids when they were 7 and 9. They are now 18 and 16. At first, we were very close with both kids (older is a boy, younger is a girl). I was especiallynclose with my stepdaughter and we always did everything together. When i started dating my husband, his relationahip with his ex-wife was very bad. They argued constantly and couldnt co-parent wel.. he mlhas made a tremendous effort to put that all aside and she pretends to. She gets along woth me and has told me several times she is glad i am in the kids' lives. However, I put up with her only because i have to. She is manipulative, lazy, and very selfish. She is a SAHM (she also has a 7 and 3 year old) but refuses to take my stepkids to any activities. My husband will be out of the house from 5:30 am - 10 pm 4 days a week, and doesnt get to see our 1 year old on the weekdays because if he doesnt bring his daughter to dance, she doesnt get to go. Unfortunately, his ex has also always shared all of her griefs with her daughter. Because of this, the 16 year old has a lot of anger towards my husband and she cant even verbalize why (its because her mom is angry). She tolerates us now when she needs us (dance) and sometimes to see her little brother, but she isnt over much anymore. I mourn the relationship we had often and it makes us so mad how much her mom has manipulated her. Being a stepmom is hard. For me, it is way harder than being a bio mom. Yiu love these kids as your own, but you often dont get much say in their upbringing. My husband and i have a much different parenting philosophy than his ex (she encourages them to fight, is verbally abusive, and will slap/hit them). We are also much more natural, eat family meals, dont really do junk food. When you love these kids, it can be painful to see decisions being made that you truly beloeve harm them, but you have no control to stop (my husband has joint custody but we often dont find out until its too late for him to step in). The 18 hear old is a freshman in college this year and has reacted to his mom opposite from his sister. He is very close to us and would have moved in with us full time, but his mom threatens to disown him every time he brings it up (or when he does anything she disagrees with). Now we have to deal with the fact that even though he would rather be with us when he is home, we likely won't see him often - his mom demands that he spend all of his time at home at her house. We hope eventually he will learn to stand up to her, but its not something we are pressing because he is so hurt by it all.