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Sudden attachment/abandonment issues?

My son has been in daycare since he was 9 months old. He never needed to adjust to his daycare. In fact, he likes it at daycare so much that when I pick him up there, he’s so into whatever toy he’s playing with that he doesn’t notice me. The staff there love that he’s the mellowest, easiest baby to look after. Now he’s 14 months old, and for the past 2-3 weeks he cries when I drop him off at daycare. As soon as I hand him over, he cries for me. I’m concerned about this change. Is it unusual that he needs to adjust to daycare so late into the program? Is this a sign that something is wrong?

  • Jenn
    Nov 08

    Probably just a phase. Toddlers go through clingy phases, especially if they are teething or going through some other physiological change. Just give him lots of cuddles when you can, but he will be fine. Also, you can ask the daycare if he calms down when you leave just to reassure yourself.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08

    Totally normal, I work at a nursery, and it doesn't matter how comfortable the toddler is, they will go through this. And unfortunately they will probably go through it several times. My youngest is 14 months, and does it, my oldest is 3 and still complains some times. When you drop him off give him a big hug, tell him you love him, and that Mommy and Daddy always come back, then hand him over and leave! You aren't making anyone feel better by hanging around watching him cry. It gives him mixed signals about what is happening, makes you more upset when he doesn't stop (and he won't while you are in sight), and it doesn't help the daycare personel- they know him, they know how to help him, and if they didn't they would tell you.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08

    Completely normal..my girl is 4 and still complains sometimes when I drop her off to school. After minutes of being in there she's totally fine. Her teachers tell me. I know it's hard to leave your child when they're sad or upset but he will be okay.. I also use the phrases.."I'll be back. Or I'll see you later. Mommy will be right back".

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08

    Normal! Just keep your routine and everything the exact same, like all things baby, this will pass

  • Miss Maple
    Wednesday

    Your son may be giving you evidence of a cognitive leap - he loves you and does not like to see you go... and now he can remember that when you leave it is for a while, not just a moment. He will learn to manage those feelings AND the awareness that you will be gone for a while soon. As he grows he is likely to have other leaps of awareness that make separation difficult or (this can be worse for you) really desirable! Wait til he kicks you out... :) On a separate note... If you have a strong instinct that something is amiss I encourage you to delve. Maybe one of his current teachers likes super sedate children best and has yet to fall in love with his active ways (or the reverse). It can be a real issue without being terribly serious - he and his teacher will settle in together in time. But if you investigate a little, you could speed up the process by helping the teacher see it and that it has an impact on your little guy.