Take Time For Myself?? 😂😂😂

Can I just say how much cliché posts about “Take time for yourself” and “take care of yourself”, blahblahblah, annoy me? Someone posted a FB post on my feed that said that their masseuse advised them that it is important to take time for themselves. Many times, I see these posts directed towards moms in a somewhat patronizing way. I find that most people who post these kind of posts obviously either a) don’t have children, b) have family close by who will help take care of their children, or c) are very, very rich and can afford to have other people take care of their children. 😭😂 But seriously, am I the only person who thinks this is kind of a weirdly privileged thing to advise people to do? I’m not saying I don’t get happy when I have time to myself, that it doesn’t help, but there are times when being a parent means not showering and letting the housework go for three days because you have sick kids; there are parents who have to work and parent full-time and getting free time to themselves isn’t always a reality. To me, being a parent means that sometimes I DON’T get time to myself, and that’s what I signed up for. So stop putting more pressure on me—I’m a hot mess and I may be that way until my kids are grown! 😛

  • Anna
    Dec 07, 2018

    @PK I like that view! Def. a less privileged version. Lol

  • Aye
    Dec 07, 2018

    It is really annoying. Definitely get a lot of pressure from family and even friends sometime for me to get away and get “me time” or go out with the hubs, now I’m not trying to be ungrateful but I’m a first time mom and don’t like leaving LO, it gives me anxiety and sometimes I don’t even enjoy myself. Now I know there’s plenty of moms who’d Love to be in my shoes and have people keep offering to baby sit. But personally I don’t like it and after awhile of being bothered it feels like pressure. Like I will go when I feel like I’m ready and baby is ready, just because grandparents want alone time with baby doesn’t mean toss my emotions aside as a mom to make them happy. Did this even make sense? Anyways I enjoy being with baby and would rather cherish these moments when she’s a baby, cause when she’s older I know she’s not gonna wanna be around mommy like she does now.

  • Anna
    Dec 07, 2018

    @Aye yes, a friend of mine also just pointed out “‘mom guilt” in regards to this as well—it can definitely be emotional!

  • Anonymous
    Dec 07, 2018

    Getting my “me time” right now - taking a bath and looking at crap on my phone! Get time to myself maybe twenty minutes twice a week (unless I stay up later than kids which is not ideal right now as I have a preschooler, a toddler, and an infant. Cheers to those who get more, but right now this is about as good as it gets for me. And, frankly, the work I would have to put in to arranging real time out without them isn’t that enticing! Some day....

  • Jasmine
    Dec 07, 2018

    Did this with my sister in law today :) our babies were with theor daddies.

  • Anna
    Dec 07, 2018

    Yes, when you do get free time, copious amounts of alcohol must be involved 😂

  • Ashlie
    Dec 07, 2018

    I am going say this your doing the best you can and that's all that matters just as long as you can look at your self in the mirror every day and be happy with your self

  • Anonymous
    Dec 07, 2018

    I think it's good that women get the public support and recognition that they are more than just mothers! (Just as men are more than just fathers). We are whole people with careers, interests, hobbies, passions, talents, needs, desires, and wants. It is okay - and good and healthy - to have a break, some balance, perspective, some 'you time'... whatever you want to call it, however you want to achieve it. Don't worry so much about how other people achieve their balance or how much money they have. Everyone is dealt a different deck of cards. Just focus on being the best you that you can be, and everything will turn out alright :)

  • Anna
    Dec 07, 2018

    @Anon I appreciate that sentiment, but in some ways the point I’m trying to make is that there is an added “pressure” on top of everything else we have to do as mothers to fit in this ‘me’ time. As many have said, it looks different to everyone, but sometimes no matter how much we want it we just don’t get ‘me’ time that’s fulfilling in the way we wish it could be, and that is okay and normal too.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 07, 2018

    I understand that single moms may have a hard time getting away, but where are the husbands and partners in all of this? I get “me” time every Saturday morning. We schedule it, like you would a doctors appt. it’s my time to take care of myself. It involves either; hair cuts, nail appt, shopping, just a quiet solo coffee date with a book. I understand that being a working mom is hard and juggling childcare and work is super stressful, but men don’t seem to have the same issues balancing childcare and work. Why?!

  • Anna
    Dec 08, 2018

    Actually, @Anon just above, I often give my spouse time on the weekends because I just have me and the baby during the day, so sometimes I can get in a break while the baby is sleeping. He works full-time, so I try to give him some relaxation time when I can. However, big however, he gets to spend the day with adults (even though he’s in a high-pressure situation), and he is military and works on a college campus with state-of-the-art workout facilities and he is allowed to use them during his workday, so in my mind he gets more time to relax than I do. So I don’t always feel too bad for him! Haha

  • PK
    Dec 08, 2018

    I’m a SAHM and my husband works close to 60 hrs most weeks in a job that’s hard on his body. On his days off I like to spend time all together as a family. When I do ask my husband to watch our son he will often just prop him in front of a tv and call it a day which really annoys me.. so I don’t ask him to watch him much. But also I feel guilty for leaving the boys alone - for both my husband and son. I know I shouldn’t feel that way but I just can’t shake that guilt.

  • Julie
    Dec 08, 2018

    I tell my husband I need two hours a week....I actually end up getting it about twice a month. All I end up doing with those 2 hours of “me time” is showering and sleeping!!! To be honest, I don’t WANT all this alone time away from my baby!!! I already have to work and that’s too much time away from her as it is!!! People are always telling me how I need a “moms night out” or how I need to go sit by myself and practice yoga and I’m not even sure why they think I I need this so badly. My daughter is awesome. I want to hang out with her. And let’s be honest, as parents our influence starts to rapidly and steadily drop starting around age 10 or so and by the teenage years my daughter will rather spend time with friends than me. I’ll get back to my me time when that happens, for now I enjoy all my “free time” with my daughter.

  • Tiana
    Dec 08, 2018

    Even if you’re a stay at home mom, it’s not “just staying at home” just as you get a break when baby is asleep, your partner most likely gets a lunch break. I can wholeheartedly say that I work less hard at my job than I do on the weekend when it’s just me and the baby and home to take care of. My husband takes hour long lunches, sometimes there are work events just for fun. I don’t get that kind of “perk” in my job as a stay at home mom. I’m always attached to the baby in terms of proximity. Running out to get a sandwich is an ordeal involving planning around nap time, packing food/drinks for the baby, a diaper bag, car seat loading and unloading. While at work, I jump in the car and go. My point is, all the planning time is “work.” Getting a break from that is very welcome occasionally.

  • Anna
    Dec 08, 2018

    Definitely @Valerie!! Well said!

  • Angie
    Dec 11, 2018

    Absolutely!!!!! In the same boat. I have no family to help, can’t afford a sitter. I pay for my toddler 8 hours a week so i can get some child free time but thats not necessarily treating myself time. Its getting errands done or housework competed that is easier to fo without a child by my side. I feel you. I hear often “Remember to take time for yourself”. Oh thanks.....Wanna help with that!?

  • Andy
    Dec 11, 2018

    I cant even take a 10 min shower. Withing the first 5 someone comes in yelling about a toy, or I'll just hear running and crashing all over the house. It gives me such anxiety knowing I'll come out of the nice shower to a house turned upside down in less than 10min. I mean I love my kids. All three but sometimes I loose my shit more often than I would like. :/

  • LisaP
    Dec 11, 2018

    Ladies!!! Going to work IS a break for your husband! Stop acting like he is so stressed and burdened by his job that he can’t spend an hour or 2 with the kids on a Saturday morning so you can go out by yourself! He wanted kids too!!! UGH!!! And if he’s always only watching TV with the kid, tell him to get off his ass and PLAY with the kid that you gestated, birthed, and play with/take care of 24/7. Men are NOT stupid, incompetent buffoons who can’t give their kid a bath or put them to bed. They are just REALLY good at convincing us that they are! That said: grocery shopping by myself is “me time” I don’t need to have a pedicure (yuck) to feel like I’m getting a break.

  • Anna
    Dec 11, 2018

    @LisaP, I definitely agree that work is a break for my husband, because he works with adults! Haha. However, I will say that my husband is pretty awesome in all other respects as a parent. He definitely takes time to play and hang out with the kids when he is home. Right now he is downstairs finishing cooking dinner for my toddler (I started) and he has been playing with her since she got home, watching both the kids while I cooked (my “me” time). I definitely lucked out there! But I do think he has it easier during the day, though I won’t ever tell him that 😂!