Posted in Behavior, Toddlers

Tantrums; how you deal with them?

Hi moms, wondering how you deal with tantrums. My is 18m and had one today, came out of nowhere while playing at the playground, there were older kids who were super loud and she watched them for a while could that have triggered it? I just tried to wait it out but she would not stop, so I ended up picking her up and walking home. I feel terrible because nothing seemed to distract her. I understand it’s normal for them since they can’t deal with their emotions yet, but what do I do to help recover from one if it occurs? Thank you.

  • Anonymous
    Aug 31, 2019

    When my kids have 'tantrums' it's over not getting their way, or not having control in a situation. This sounds more like the kids scared her or sensory overload with the sound and movement. Im not sure what you would do but remove her from the situation

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Aug 31, 2019

    Yes. So over time you’ll have to figure out with your child the difference between upset behavior (or a tantrum of whatever you want to call it) that is aimed at getting what thy want, versus an upset behavior that is an expression of overwhelming emotion whether its fear/sadness/anger...whatever. It takes time to figure out. Your example above, sounds like she was just scared and I personally would have just held her in a big hug (if she wanted one) and sat on the bench with her until she regrouped. If she wanted a toy another kid had and when you told her no, she lost her mind, I would have used my words to validate her sadness, maybe rubbed her back for a moment to get her to listen to my empathy, and then for her age tried distraction.

  • Vonda
    Sep 06, 2019

    When my son throws a tantrum it depends on the situation. I explain what is happening (object isn’t yours, we are doing this, etc) if it is something he wants or doesn’t want to happen etc. Even if it’s emotional I then offer a hug or to hold him. Toddlers are going through big emotional changes. And their emotions take over easily since they don’t understand them, much less what is expected of them as a society in controlling them. If we can fix the situation by helping to fix or clean up, we do that once he has calmed down. Then I try to have him move on to something else. Sometimes I have to take him out of the area to calm him down. Sometimes I just let him lay there to let him relax (orientational scheme is strong atm). I hope this helps.

  • Elle
    Sep 10, 2019

    Give them a hug, shhhh them, talk in a sweet voice, tell them it will be okay. Once the overwhelming emotional response they were suffering from has subsided, resume normal activity. Toddler tantrums are not a bad behavior nor a parenting fail. Read up on their frontal lobe development and what that means for how they experience (suffer from) overwhelming and sudden emotions and how they are unable at this age to control them. Once you understand the brain development and pathology, you really do feel sympathy for what theyre going through. Wouldn't wish that on anyone. When they are at their most vulnerable, hug and love. When they've returned to calm, then continue explaining why something can't happen until [insert precondition].