Technology limit?

Hi. ! I have a 13 year old stepdaughter . I’m very blessed to have a great relationship with her. :) my question is though how Can I get her to not be on her phone 24/7? I would love advice from other parents how they’ve dealt with this and how it’s worked out for them . Myself and her father have agreed to take her phone away every day at 5pm so it’ll one —- make her finish any chores she has & two—— makes her spend some time with the family . Has this backfired on anyone ? I see her spiraling without her phone already and it’s been a week LOL.

  • Norma
    May 15, 2018

    No it hasn’t lol my daughter used to also do the same be glued to the tablet or my phone so we took them all away now she reads books and actually interacts with us shes 9 almost 10 in her pre teen years but just have patience there is also this app that allows them to keep their phone but u can see every text they get on your phone and you can turn off any apps that they have downloaded and turn them back on when you allow them to its called FORCEFIELD hope this helps

  • Jessica
    May 15, 2018

    Omg I absolutely love that idea. ! Thank you so much. ! I feel much better that we have that kind of app. Would that app have to be downloaded on her phone as well?

  • Superdad
    May 16, 2018

    Get her a flip phone!

  • Elle
    May 16, 2018

    I haven't been in this position personally, but I would definitely recommend against this. Taking a phone away may seem trivial to an adult, but for a teenager, it can be really devestating to be cut off, and it will probably appear to her that she is being unjustly punished for no offense at all. If all of the other parents at school arent doing this too, it could make things harder for her at school (esp if it is all night from 5pm-bedtime!). Ideally, this is the time you want young teens to start maturing quickly and being responsible because they want to reap rewards, not because they fear consequences. Introducing a system of responsibilities and earning rewards based on competency would mimick the real world. Hopefully, she's mature enough where her father can explain the importance of family time, how your feelings are hurt when she isn't fully present, your desire to spend real quality time together, and express rules for a 2-hr phone black-out in the evening, for example. Make it a family rule vs punishment. You can't MAKE a 13yr old WANT to spend time wih you, but you can make a 13 yr old resent you for doing what in her mind is taking away her freedom. Another idea I have heard of working well is a rotating wifi password. She can get the evening's wifi password once she has earned it via completing responsibilities. Or the wifi gets shut off (ie you change the password) at 2 hrs before bedtime, and you explain it is so she can unwind and get quality sleep.

  • Angela
    May 17, 2018

    We have a blended family with a total of nine kiddos, six of which still live at home. One thing that seems to works for us is reading time earns screen time, be it phones, tablets, handhelds, etc: for however long they read, they earn an equal amount of time with their chosen electronics. Also, during the school year, if grades fall below C, screen time is cut entirely until the grade is brought back up. Neither of these are popular, but they have been pretty effective overall.

  • Cody
    May 17, 2018

    It depends on the child. I do an earnings policy. If you work hard enough you’ll earn the right to use it. I never really take it away at a specific time, they only have access to specific school related items unless I allow the fun things as a reward. It may be best to try to peel it back and then add it piece by piece. I definitely feel you though.

  • DD
    May 17, 2018

    We intise our teen with kid & friends nights out. If he sticks to our set limit he gets a weekend night out on us with his friends

  • Britt
    May 19, 2018

    While I agree phones from minors needs to be taken away overnight it does seem to be a little early in the afternoon. Especially if she’s been at school all day where she isn’t supposed to be on her phone either. I’d say take the phone (if you must) when she walks in the door until hw and chores are completed. And if you want her to spend quality time with you guys have game nights (board, card, video, etc. keep it changing to keep interest) and invite these friends she’s texting even the boys! if you’re open and comfortable with her friends she’d probably be more inclined to put the phone down.

  • Kristina
    May 20, 2018

    I have my son earn screen time by reading. If he reads for an hour he can be on his phone for an hour etc...