Posted in Behavior, Toddlers

Terrible 2s?

Anonymous

He is the only child in the house. My son will turn 3 in September and recently he has been retaliating or not cooperating with whatever we ask him to do. He hits, punches, kicks and bites anyone near him when he is playing with something. His teacher in daycare also mention to me that he hits back when they try to tell him not to do some things and the worst is that they tell me when playing with lego he is able to assemble a pretend gu*n and make pew pew sounds with it. The thing is that we dont watch any shows like that and the only show that had a toy gu*n in it is baby boss everything else we watch are sing alone songs or educational stuff. The places we go or he sees has nothing affiliated with weaponry stuff. Only grocery shopping and playgrounds. The teacher say some kids are just violent and they need the special attention from association. My son already had 2 evaluations done in the house and the 2 evaluation went well they say nothing is wrong with him and he is just being a regular 2 year old which is before the assembly of the gu*n started. The evaluation was the concern for his speech not being at his level or age. Now i wonder why is this happening because he doesn't do those things in the house. Idk what I need to do to discipline him,bc i try the corner and time out and ignoring him when he isnt behaving well. I do feel more stress out bc of him not cooperating with us to make the flow smoother. At times i feel like he wants to see me getting angry and he cave in. He has all his 20 teeth already so he isn't suffering from pain or anything. Please help with any suggestions or if your kid has similar issues. Thank you

  • Jenn
    May 10

    3 is harder than 2. He is testing boundaries and though he won't say "mommy put me in time out", he is trying to find out what he can and can't do. Time out is very important at this stage as it teaches him right from wrong. Also, trying to stay calm is important ( yes I know it is hard) so walking away if you need a minute is fine.

  • K
    May 10

    You are not alone. I went through a lot of frustration with my son, now 4, when he was 2. He has a speech delay, so some of his behaviors were delayed as well. He was a very calm baby, sweet at 1 and most of 2, then 3 hit. It was a mix of developmental leaps and communication frustration. Your son needs to know that you will stand firm and what will not be tolerated. My son did not respond to time out, didn’t really care. I try to always match the consequence to the action; you throw toys, toys are taken. As for the gun, I had dreams of some artsy hippie child that smells the flowers, I got a boy obsessed with good guys/bad guys role playing, anything police, superhero, villain, and yes, weapons. I have taught him from the beginning that guns are very harmful to people and we have had many open conversations about why police have them etc... Try focusing on the fact that he could build LEGOs and praise him for that, ignore what he builds. Ask him to build something else and give positive feed back. Then tell him that what he was doing at school is not appropriate. They are much smarter than we give them credit for. You are doing great!

  • Anonymous
    May 10

    Thank you guys. To K yes my son might consist 2 sides in him when walking to the park he stop to smell the flower, and for the g*n is that even watching shows the truck / car ones that he like he loves fire trucks period there are police cars too in the show but no g*ns were in the show. Idk why he knows about the assembly & he only did it in school not in the house. My husband say that it might be his peers that did it and he mimic it but idk bc it is a sensitive topic and no one would want to know that their child is being violent. I don't mind the fist fights between toddlers bc we can tell them no and stop but weaponry stuff is just overwhelming for me.

  • Vonda
    May 10

    My son started early with the terrible twos. I read Montessori Toddler and it helped a lot. I’d also watch ‘the parenting junkie’ on YouTube. She has an alternative to “time out” if that isn’t working.

  • Marika
    May 10

    I hear and understand that you are worried about the gun play and that that may be a sign of violent notions within...let me share a day Care experience with you. My child was 2.5 at the time like his peers in his class and one time at dropoff I was ambushed by all his peers and then him joining them pew pewing me with their "stick guns". All in laughter and play. I shrugged it off and the teachers didn't pay much attention to it either. So 1, he could have learned it from his peers and also 2 it maybe just play with not real violent intentions. The daycare had a notification about it sent out with explanation of a child's need to feel powerful and how they are addressing that behavior by trying to communicate with words instead. Again it's probably not violent behavior but the need to be empowered. The same lines the issues with compliance. Yes boundaries and rules need to be established and consistent and may be it helps to have him comply by giving him some limited choices so he feels he has a say. It helped my LO. Additionally communicate expectations early so he knows how he needs to behave and what happens if he won't. Make sure he has no other reason to be in a bad place (hunger, tired) For disciplining and understanding the toddler years the book: "No Drama Discipline" helped me greatly to work through the problems and teach and redirect, instruct as it is the true meaning of discipline. Good luck Mama.

  • Anonymous
    May 11

    Thank you all for the feedback it really helps.