Anonymous

The middle child

For those of you with three children, how did you cope with the stigma of the “middle child”? Your first will always be your first and your last is the baby. I feel like if I were to add another child to our family I would feel incredible guilt for my second born. It seems like they always kind of get lost in the picture and it’s so difficult giving so much undivided attention to all three. The oldest is having new experiences for everyone and the baby needs the most attention. The middle child is just kind of tagging along, maybe trying to keep up with the first. Anyway, if you have three children please share some insight on this matter, thank you.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 09

    I myself am a middle child and I don’t ever recall feeling that way.

  • Mrs. HHH
    Jan 09

    I’m married to a middle child. Yes he does remember feeling left out by his parents. He’s a perfectly fine adult and it wasn’t traumatic or anything but he definitely fit the title of classic middle child.

  • Mel
    Jan 11

    I’m married to a middle child and although he grew up in a privileged and loving home (and is a successful adult now - the most successful of the three) , he does not want to have 3 children bc he was the middle child. He felt he got away with a lot bc of it (his parents didn’t know what he was up to as a teenager), and felt like he didn’t get enough attention. Granted his older brother had rough teenage years requiring the attention of his parents and the younger was a baby so it may just be his particular situation. Oddly, his parents seem to favor him now as an adult probably bc he never gave them any trouble but in the end, my husband argues it’s bc they didn’t notice he was getting into trouble 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m one of two and it worked out great in my family so I’m following my husband’s lead on this and stopping at two children. The other thing is that of the three boys two are really close (my husband and the youngest) and they leave their older brother out of everything. I feel like the dynamic is different... they can choose the brother they like best and just not socialize with the one who is different, versus I feel if there were only two then they would only have each other.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 11

    Great point Mel thank you!! Mine are boys and I want them to have each other. I agree it’s easy to leave one out (I have a twin sister and my older sister is jealous of our bond and we do sometimes leave her out, not maliciously but just because I’m very close with my twin and we share a lot of the same values and are at similar life stages).

  • Ashly
    Jan 15

    I’m the middle child but was the only girl, I was very independent, Tom boy to keep up with my brothers but I don’t recall feeling left out. I have three myself 11,3,2- the middle one is independent as well. I think it depends on your situation. I feel sometimes the oldest feels left out because I give a lot of attention to the younger ones, but we’ve made a plan to have days just for the oldest throughout the month!

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    I agree ☝️

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    My Daughter was the middle child also we had a hard time getting along together but I am so proud of her now. She’s a wonderful person and has given me 2 Grandchildren Cora and Sterling she served in the Airforcie

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    I also come from a family of 8

  • Ivy
    Aug 23

    Marla, your grandchildren have beautiful names, including yours!