Posted in Potty Training, Preschoolers

The wonderful topic of bum wiping haha

I have to ask...what is the right age to expect a child to wipe their own bum? My daughter turned three a few months ago, is fully potty trained, and does great wiping after pee...after poop not so much. Heck even I have trouble wiping her thoroughly sometimes! I feel like her school has this expectation that kids should have it down by now. Is that crazy? Her preschool teacher once told me they technically can’t help them due to licensing or something like that. This seems totally bizarre to me. I fee like it’s literally impossible for them at an early 3. So when they don’t help her she often comes home with poop marks in her underwear and a rash. I hate thinking she’s uncomfortable throughout the day too! Thoughts? Anyone have success training their toddler to do this effectively? I have the flushable wipes and am willing to try training!

  • Momof1
    Sep 03, 2019

    I have no advice but that sounds awful :( I’m surprised that they won’t help. I never asked my daycare if they would but since they are already changing diapers I don’t see why not. This was part of the reason why we opted for a Reggio Emilia daycare/school because my son is on the younger side of his class too and has a slight developmental delay so I have no idea if he will even be potty trained in time to start a PK3 at a traditional school. These kids are so young. I hate that they put so many expectations on them :(

  • anonymous mom
    Sep 03, 2019

    Umm that’s so disturbing to me. I mean that the school won’t help her. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Even if she asks for help they don’t?! WTF. Some kids aren’t even potty trained at 3!! Earlier this summer I was visiting with a friend whose daughter started kindergarten last week and even she was telling me that she’s been working hard with her daughter to wipe effectively so she can start school and not have this be an issue for her...and her child had just turned 5!!! I feel like this would definitely be an issue I’d bring up with your center director if the teacher continues to push back because they should be helping her learn, not just expecting her to wing it!!

  • Mrs. HHH
    Sep 03, 2019

    I worry about this too. My son is almost 4 and I still wipe him because he doesn’t do a thorough job on his own. He’s starting school next week and I’m nervous about what he’ll do at school because school won’t wipe for him either... I hate the idea of rashes on our kids sweet buns

  • Laura
    Sep 03, 2019

    I assume that as kids get older they start pooping less often and get on a schedule where they are only pooping at home. Ever since we did potty training at 2.5, our daughter has mainly pooped in the evening before bed.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Sep 04, 2019

    Unfortunately I don’t think they’re going to always poop at home on a schedule we’d prefer. My almost 5 year old seems to do a good job, but my 3.5 is a serious work in progress. I have him try to wipe once or twice and then I do the rest and kinda talk to him About where to wipe when I’m helping. I have not had them In any daycare or school, so that’s a problem I haven’t run into except that I think it’s a high expectation for an early 3 yr old.

  • Ivana
    Sep 04, 2019

    Thanks for your input, all! I’m going to approach her new teacher about it and see if she’d be willing to help us out with this, and simultaneously try and teach my daughter with the flushable wipes that she could then take with her to school. I do agree that having this down by kindergarten seems reasonable, but not by now! In general I worry that kids are just being pushed to grow up too fast! Also, no convenient poop schedule on our radar, but I also wouldn’t want to discourage her from pooping whenever she needed to, including at school.

  • A
    Sep 08, 2019

    Wow! I’m shocked that school won’t help her. My twins are three and they cannot wipe #2 on their own. In fact I don’t even like when they try because they just make a mess. Gross.