Anonymous

Three Kids

Hey all, Please talk me off the ledge. My husband and I weren’t trying for #3, but after a couple of irresponsible nights (yup, I’ll admit it) here we are. We already have a 3 year old and a 10 month old, and hadn’t really planned on having another one so soon if at all. We had plans to go overseas again to live (we did before kids) and to save money, and now we will have to buy a bigger vehicle, etc. Another part of this is that I’m not excited to tell people-some people in my family have made it clear they think it’s crazy to have more than two kids, including my mom who is usually my biggest support, so I’m not excited to tell anyone (yes, I know it’s early and anything can happen). If you have three and it happened whether or not you planned it, I’d love to hear what your experience has been like-have you been able to travel at all (even locally) and does it make you insane?! I’m equal parts excited and terrified right now. Thanks! 💜

  • K
    Jul 02

    First of all congrats! I have 3. It’s a bit different bc I had 2 at once....twins. We tried for a second babe and ended up with 3. My son is almost 4 1/2 and my girls are just about 20 mths. Having a mini tribe is awesome and we couldn’t imagine not having all of them. With that said, there will be no more😁. It’s life and you adjust. I take them everywhere, usually by myself. You will be amazed by your own strength and resilience. Are there moments of insanity?? Yes!!! But more often than not, those are the funnest moments. I lose patience, they lose patience, we all get angry or cry at times, but it’s fleeting and the cuddles afterward are unbeatable. You have to have a sense on humor and trust yourself. You are going to be amazing!!! ❤️

  • Anonymous
    Jul 02

    In the same boat! We were trying for number two (we only ever wanted 2) and ended up with twins..... I’m in the same position of needing a bigger car, day care expenses doubling, etc. thankfully my family was happy.... but I feel bad I’m not happy. I know people would dieeeee for 3 healthy kiddos. Just hard for me to comprehend. Sorry- no advice, just same feeling of “oh no”

  • Laura
    Jul 02

    The Netflix show Workin' Moms has a storyline about this same situation

  • Sabrina
    Jul 03

    Had two. Was happy with two. Unexpectedly ended up welcoming three and oof its a bit hard but I would not change it. I have a perfect family I think. We are definitely done and made sure all steps were taken to not have it happen again but I have to say its a gradual adjustment process.

  • Nicole
    Jul 03

    I have 3 kids and didn’t plan it either. Granted 2 of them are twins so I had no choice or part in that it just happened. The twins are 9 months old and I’m still getting used to having 3, not 2 like we always planned. It’s a tough adjustment. We don’t travel so far because it’s a lot of work just to get everyone to go anywhere, granted I have 3 kids 3 and under.

  • Jenn
    Jul 04

    I do not have 3 myself but my sister in law does. Going from 2 to 3 didn't change her much (from the outside at least) & she's definitely not crazy. She's one of the happiest people I know. The family just went to Disney World with a 7, 5, and 1 year old while half of them were sick... they seemed to have a great time. You will survive and eventually learn what works for your family :). I have a feeling once the baby is here your mom will change her tune a bit. Maybe she'll think you're crazy but she won't love the kid or you any less.

  • Jennie
    Jul 04

    I'm about to have number 5! On purpose 😂. To be perfectly honest, 2 to 3 was my hardest transition. My older kids were 2.5 and 3.5 and it was a juggle act for sure. I had really bad postpartum anxiety and leaving the house was incredibly difficult. BUT I learned so much. It really helped me to get perspective and realize that everyone's mom journey is different. And I wasn't a bad mom if I said "nope I can't go to the pool with you guys, that's a 2 parent job!" Or "nope, I don't go to that park because it's too spread out and I can't keep track of everyone". I had to figure out what worked for us and be ok with it, not worrying about what others were doing. As far as travel, with 3 we've done Disneyland and an airplane trip, with 4 we've done a Disney Cruise, a cross-country road trip and planning to take them on an 8 hour trip for my brother's wedding. And lots of little weekend trips with 2-3 hour drives. The thought of flying with all 5 doesn't even give me pause. (Their ages now are 8, 7, 4 and 2). My practical tips would be strict naptime schedules (even my non-nappers have mandatory 1 hour quiet time in bed) and bed times, because having that time to decompress really helps me. And a double stroller with a kickboard for an older child (we have the City Select). For the infant phase, just plan ahead. Don't leave without a lunch packed or knowing a drive thru on the way home, because nothing sucks like walking through the door, having too pee because you didn't want to take 3 kids into a stall, having groceries to unload, baby screaming for milk and two hangry toddlers! Lol I used to put lunches in the fridge if I knew that's the time we'd get home so I could plop them at the table and have at least 2 happy while I handled everything. (Now my older kids help with lunch and groceries 😉 many hands make light work lol) Anyway I hope this helped! I didn't know if you wanted encouragement or practical tips, but you can do it. It'll be awesome. Children are a blessing ❤

  • Meg
    Jul 04

    When I was due to have my third daughter a couple who had three children told us we’d quickly become saavy about how to manage three. For example, we’d had a parent to manage each child when we were out, or at least two hands, one for each. “You’ll learn that it’s better to park next to a shopping cart so you can put the youngest one in the seat than it is to park close to the door.” They told us their third took things in stride easier than the other two had and they worried less about small things with that child. It turned out to be true for us, too. By my observation, third children tend to be funny and warm, and a bit mischievous, a natural response to having two older siblings. I wouldn’t have missed my third for the world.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 04

    Thanks all so much for the positive words and tips. @Jennie, so great to hear that you have traveled with them all, and congrats on #5! That’s amazing! You’re super mom! My biggest fears are the travel thing and living overseas again, been a huge goal of ours, and honestly, nighttime! Nighttime sucks already, my 3 year old is nighttime potty training (her own request) and has been peeing a lot at night lately and waking up, the 10 month old just never has a full night’s sleep-she tends to wake even if for only a few minutes at a time throughout the night and needs me to go in to go back to sleep (I don’t do much, but it’s annoying having sleep interrupted nonetheless). Most nights, I’m up anywhere from 4-6 times. Do you experience this now?

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jul 04

    I am currently a mom of three (4.5,3,1.5) with another due in a month in a half. I swear for us the transition from 0 to 1 was the hardest. Having them close together is hard because of all their needs, but they also quickly become excellent playmates which means less work than having one toddler You gotta entertain all day. It will be great but it certainly is scary until you settle into your routine and new life balance. :)