Anonymous

Tips on relaxation/handling stress?

Any tips or advice on how you all handle stress? I’m beyond stressed recently. I’m a stay at home mom and we are in a combined family household. We have two kids that fight over every little thing (they’re 9 and 5) we also have six dogs and 3 cats. Everyone else in the house works so I’m the only one at home to deal with all the cooking, cleaning, errands, appointments, and caring for the pets. I don’t mind it since I don’t work but it’s exhausting and I’m having a hard time finding time to just relax. What do you guys do after a long day? How do you find time to relax and just be able to have a little bit of silence at the end of the day?

  • antigrav_kids
    Jan 08

    I think you do work! A lot! My partner and I ask each other to take over if either one of us is particularly stressed or sick. We then either go for a walk, or go to the other room shut the door and read, or something like that. The one of us that took over then runs interference if the kids head towards the other of us.

  • Christa
    Jan 08

    Lady, first off round of applause. You are employed full time too! I am also a stay at home mom, and so I deal with the same thing! I take the children to appointments, cook, clean, laundry, errands, groceries, taking care of two dogs, and a household. Our son is almost 1. I am guilty of putting my son to bed- after he’s had dinner, bathed and jammas and is asleep- I take a hot bath, and read a book. And once I’m done, I crawl into my own bed- no children- unless they are sick. And I turn on my guilty pleasure of Kitchen Nightmares, or a movie not for children. And sometimes I don’t even pay attention to the TV and just sit and write in my journal, or let my dog crawl on to the bed with me, and I just lay there quietly!!! My husband works 3.5 hours away, and is gone all week, so it’s just me. Having me time is VERY important. I also, get up ass early, and make coffee and let the dogs out go say hi to my chickens, and just meditate, take a shower and get dressed before the children wake up! It is exhausting, but take it one day at a time. We also live in a combine household- we live with my lazy ass brother in law who thinks I’m his maid, chef, and bottle wash (it pisses me off to no end- but whatever) but what I’ve learned is, I can only do so much in a day. I sat down one day and made a list of EVERYTHING I am responsible for, and want to accomplish, and the days of the week. And started putting things into each day. So I wasn’t feeling like I had to do EVERYTHING in one day. That’s frustrating as hell to feel like you have to do it all in one day!! Plan a meal for each day of the week- and then, go shopping one day a week- or twice a week if you want! Then plan like Tuesday do laundry or whatever. But delegate a day to each big task then go from there. When my husband is home, I make him take over the dogs for the days he’s home, and get the children up on the days he’s home- though I have them on funny routines, so I end up getting up anyway. You got this momma!!! Get after it, and stay strong!!!

  • Jade
    Jan 09

    You don’t work? The fact you stay home and take care of kids (and pets) IS work. If the kids are constantly fighting separate them. Send them each to play in their rooms. Or put one upstairs and one to play downstairs. Anything to get them apart. You have to MAKE time for yourself. Self care is so important. Especially when you’re a SAHM.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 09

    Thanks for the comments everyone. When I said I don’t work, I meant I don’t have a job outside of the house. I never meant to claim that stay at home mom life isn’t work. I just meant that since I don’t have a job outside of the house, I don’t mind doing a bulk of cleaning/cooking/errands because I’m already home and have the time for it. I appreciate everyone’s tips and advice though! Thank you all very much. 😊

  • Jennifer
    Jan 10

    I hate when people say if you stay home with kids you don’t work!! I spent 8 years at home with my kids, I work PRN now so maybe 2 days a week outside of the home. And I can tell you some days I feel like I work more at home. Especially when your the only one doing the cleaning, cooking, caring for kids, laundry, appointments. I make my kids go to bed at 8:30 on school nights then I usually go take a shower or something. I figure by then if it hasn’t beeen done yet it can be done the next day and I’m done for the day

  • Valerie
    Saturday

    Instead of asking for time to yourself, (emphasis on asking), start announcing that you’re taking time for yourself. Give a little warning. “ After dinner, I’d like you to clean up, please. I’m taking a couple of hours to myself.” Start small. An hour or so to start, to get everyone used to the idea that you’re not Cinderella cooking and cleaning all day long.