Posted in Parenting Culture, Toddlers

Toddler Stage

Anonymous

I am at my wits end with the toddler stage and I'm afraid this is just the beginning with a 14 month old. Please offer guidance, tips, and advice. I find myself wanting to curl up in a ball and hide from the world every single day and I can't help but count down to bedtime. Trying not to wish away this phase because it isn't entirely all bad, but this is the hardest age for me so far.

  • Beatrice
    Dec 05

    I am feeling the exact same way with my 13mo try doing walks outside lots of learning toys and books to play with

  • Sara
    Dec 05

    Have you tried giving your baby “chores” to help you with? My son started to show interest in vacuuming, sweeping, gardening, loading the dishwasher, and putting trash in the bin around 13-14mo. Of course, it’s not going to be done as you intend... but they to love helping out early on! Vacuuming especially keeps my son occupied and interested for 15-30min (a long stretch for him)!

  • Rangosmangos
    Dec 05

    Acknowledge their feelings. "you're mad/sad because you want to ... and I said no" If you dont want them to do something, tell them what they can do instead. "No climbing on the chairs, but you can crawl under them instead" Praise them as often as you can. Biggest thing that improved my toddler's attitude was to make her my "big helper". She throws things away for me, helps me sweep, helps put groceries away, and puts her laundry in the hamper. It might be tough at first but it's a snowball effect!

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    The biggest thing that helps my toddler is telling him what he can do instead of can’t do and getting out of the house! We head to target, Home Depot, parks.... he naps better and has a better attitude!

  • Aje
    Dec 05

    What exactly about this age are you having difficulty with?

  • Keya
    Dec 05

    I feel the same way my son is just 12 months and makes me cry just having to tell him something over and over

  • Kat
    Dec 05

    One thing that helped us was to toddler proof our living space (living room, kitchen and her room). She didn’t learn to open doors until she was much older and could start to listen and so we put our bookcases, record player and all of the small things in a different room and closed the door. We kept bathrooms closed and our bedroom closed. That helped minimize a lot of the “no” and “stop” all day long and was much more enjoyable.

  • Jennifer
    Dec 05

    I agree with Sara my son loves to “help” with everything and anything. He is getting a play kitchen and vacuum for Christmas lol

  • Justine
    Dec 05

    I highly suggest the podcast Unruffled. It’s free and about 20 mins on all toddler topics and how to help. She’s the author or no bad kids. It’s helped our family a ton.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 05

    Thank you guys so much!!

  • Julie
    Dec 05

    Hi there!! Mom to a 16 month old here. I’m not sure what’s causing you so much stress because while this stage has its challenges I’ve found that my daughter is way happier now that she’s walking and able to communicate with me in limited ways. I will assume one problem could be the whining. If you haven’t already, google some common baby signs to help with this!! My daughter does amazingly well with just knowing more, all done, drink, eat, milk, etc. they catch on quick and it’s really helpful!! Another thing that could be causing some drama is the clinginess. My daughter will want to be held a lot because she wants to see what I’m up to when I’m not on the floor playing with her. I either put her in a back carrier so she can hang out with me and see what I’m up to or I hold her a lot. I know people like my mil say that this is going to spoil her but whatever. She’s my baby and if she wants to see what I’m doing it makes sense to me to let her see and show her and talk to her than to leave her on the floor shrieking because she can’t see what’s up. Also I love the helping suggestions. My daughter helps me unload the dishwasher every night. It takes about 10x as long and I have to quickly pull out any sharp or glass things from the bottom rack but it’s a great time for her. She will literally pull out each piece of silverware from the rack one at a time and hand them to me with the biggest, proud smile on her face. She also puts all of the lids away in the lid drawer on her own. Sometimes I find lids in her toy box and the other day I found my favorite mixing bowl in our bathroom and the salad spinner was in her princess tent (🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️) but whatever. I think you just have to try to find a way to laugh it off and keep going. Also make sure to try to get some you time, or at the very least try to find some way to talk to other moms in person, maybe join a MOPS group or take your LO to the library during a story time for babies or something. Also if possible ask your husband to help out at least one night a week. Me and my husband both work full time but at home I’m the primary caregiver. I tell my husband I don’t care when or how it happens but one day a week I need him to step in for just two hours so I can do something. Even if all I do is take a shower and lay in my bed, it’s so needed.

  • Victoria
    Dec 05

    I was like that for a few months with my son. Would count down the minutes till naptime and bedtime. Was like that for like 3 months around that time. It was just a stage with mine. Now sometimes he only gets one nap depending on the day and I let him stay up if he is pleasant

  • PK
    Dec 05

    Distraction - keep some small random toys/items in your purse for when they are upset and need something to fidget with while you are out. Routine - toddlers some times have meltdowns because something is unfamiliar. You don’t have to do the same things every day but make sure there is some structure or order of things that happen the same way every day. Our routine is wake up, get ready, breakfast, activity, lunch, nap, snack, play, dinner, activity, bath, quiet activity, brush teeth, say goodnight to everyone in the house, bed. Sign language - my son is just starting to talk now that he is getting closer to 2. I remember him getting so frustrated about wanting more of something but not being able to communicate that to us so we started teaching him sign language which helped! Get out of the house - your toddler is finally mobile and curious!! Get them out to explore as much as you can. If you can’t be outside - find indoor playgrounds, museums, aquariums, etc. If they throw a tantrum just make sure they’re doing it in a safe space. Then as they are rolling around on the floor screaming their head off, just take that moment and take deep breaths and think about your victories of the day however small or big they are and smile... like “I changed his diaper without him rolling right out of it and out the door butt naked” or “he smiled at me this morning when I got him from his crib” or “i got to eat something for breakfast before heading out the door today.” Then when he’s done, you are already smiling and then redirect him to something that he can get his hands on (distraction). My major struggle with this toddler age is feeding/meal times. I don’t have an answer for that if that’s your struggle. That area is just a crazy rollercoaster for us!!!

  • Stacy
    Dec 05

    I honestly have nothing to add. The parents above said everything I would have. Just wanted to say, "Hang in there!" As long as you are calm and consistent, this stage will pass! ✊💙

  • Anonymous
    Thursday

    My son is 15 months old and he still walk supports as he can only take a total of 10 steps before he gives up. So sometimes we get bored we go to Walmart amd we will start at the end of the store and he will “help” push the cart as in a 1 hour trip be a 2 hour trip of how slow we are going but it’s cute and it tires him out. He loves pushing the cart.