Posted in Behavior, Books & Reading, Babies

Toddler tantrums

Anonymous

My 10 month old has started throwing tantrums when he doesn’t get his way/what he wants. Does anybody have any good books suggestions on how to handle these? He seems so young to be having these... I felt very prepared for the newborn/infant stage but I thought I had more time before these started so I’m feeling very overwhelmed. TIA

  • Christa
    Jan 03

    I don’t have any books perse to help with this- which suprizes even myself (huge book worm here) anyway, my 11 month old did that same thing- and honestly. All I did was acknowledge how he was feeling- and how frustrated he must be for not getting his way, but that’s how things go in life- sometimes we get our way and sometimes we don’t. And that’s all I would tell him. He still occasionally throws a fit where he thinks his world is ending and I still say the same thing- just like telling a friend to get over it, life’s hard. But make it so he can understand, his feelings are valid, and he has the right to be upset, but there’s more positive things to spend your energy on- like the toy he has in his hand, or the cool play Matt to drive his trucks on, or his doggie. I straight up talk to him like an adult and don’t cawdle him. I want him to know that as he grows up, he’s going to have points where he’s not getting his way and that doesn’t give a reason to cry and have a fit. Simply accept it and move on!!

  • Christa
    Jan 03

    Oh, then I carry on about whatever I’m doing and ignore the behavior, and pretty soon he stops and plays constantly on his own.

  • Kerry
    Jan 03

    My little ones just turned 11 months and does the same he just cries if he doesnt have what he wants. Its normal and we just have to be consistent in what signals we give off. If you let your child have say your phone one day then another you say no then its mixed signals and they dont understand why. I let my little one whine and cry if i really dont want him to have it. Sometimes ill explain its hot (my tea) or its not for children. I also try to redirect to another toy of his he loves but my boy is stubborn (i guess he gets that from me lol) Theyve also learnt their actions make something happen so sometimes theyll cry to get something and know theyll get it like my little one was crying last month when i put him in bed so id stay with him for a few mins but it made it worse. I fed into the crying, now we are back to no crying in bed :-). You can also say books are for reading if your child is biting on the book. Ill tend to say no we dont eat the book we read it then start to read it.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 03

    Thank you!! I’ve started to try things like that. Like telling him that I understand that he’s upset but he can’t do that bc it’s dangerous, etc. I’m just not sure he understands what I’m saying... but thank you I will try that more often

  • Kerry
    Jan 03

    They def understand more than we give credit for. Ill asl my little one if he wants to go outside and he goes crazy! Thats good sounds like your on the right track just keep repeating it and be consistent and he will get it. Ive been telling my little one no to a few things the last month and hes finally stopping when i say no.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jan 03

    So I would look up brain development for this age. They do need consistently. But they understand language much more than they can communicate back and that is incredibly frustrating. Also, until age four, they cannot really begin to process that they are having an emotion and try to “think” through it. So they don’t understand “get over it” or and their brains are so full of emotion they can’t hear you or understand you. (this age also doesn’t understand any sort of “cause and effect” explanation) your best bet is to give them a hug, empathize with them when they calm down enough to hear you, and then say something like “when you are calm down or ready for a hug, come let me know”. Then they know you care, you’ve been there, you aren’t mad at them, but you aren’t changing the rules. Then you can walk away and “ignore.”

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jan 03

    I’m not big on books but “zero to five” is a great book on that age. And following “zero to three” on Facebook is super educational.

  • Elle
    Jan 04

    Ditto @mamanukesyopolo