Posted in Child Care, Stay-at-Home Parents, Working Parents

Transitioning from being a SAHM: toddlers at nursery


I’m nervous as my 2.3 year old will be staying at her daycare for 3 full days (9am- 6pm) as opposed to 5 mornings (9:30-12:30). Her sibling is due to join when he’s 1.3 years. She loves this daycare- started there 2 months ago- which is why I’m nervous about the change. Why the change? The change is simply because, after two years, I’m no longer able to hack being a SAHM. I really wanted to, but I feel like I’m losing myself completely (mind, body and soul). My mother was/ is a career mom and I was in daycare from 3 months, and I wanted something more for my own. When my daughter is in care 3 days a week, I plan to dust off my CV etc and job hunt, to start when my son joins her. My partner is concerned about both toddlers being in daytime care, and he’s confused as to why I’m struggling- that’s been part of my struggle! He’s worried that long hours in daycare will increase their cortisol levels, turn them out to be more aggressive. He feels our daughter has become more aggressive since nursery, though I see it as part of her character; she’s ballsy and stands her ground, and yes, she sometimes pushes or throws things, but listens and apologises when we tell her that’s wrong etc. I’m not concerned. I do feel guilty for being selfish, and concerned for my son, as he’s currently EBF. He doesn’t take the bottle, but has been taking formula in a cup, eats well, and has napped with other people, so I’m not practically concerned. Only emotionally. I’ll have 2 full weekdays, and the weekend, and actually, the half days are killing me as my daughter never wants to leave the house after he nap. The daycare has changed its policy for newcomers, so I don’t have the option of my son doing mornings anyway. That’s what prompted both doing 3 full days. Please be honest: if you had the option of staying home instead of working, would you miss it? Am I being a fool? Maybe I just need a little break, and am being drastic...? What can I do, if anything, to help my daughter transition..?

  • Sara
    Jan 11

    You’re not being selfish! If you don’t end up liking working then you can always go back but at least try it out. It sounds like a good plan honestly and children are very adaptable and will get used to the new routine quickly.

  • Elle
    Jan 11

    If I had the option to work for home, I would go insane. Without a challenging day at work, I'd feel unfulfilled and long for "more."

  • B
    Jan 11

    I’m home temporarily now while looking for work, and I hate it. I’m a better mom when I have something else in my life. And my daughter has grown leaps and bounds in daycare. They teach her so much more than I’d ever think to teach her.