Anonymous

Transitioning FROM daycare (SAHM)

We are planning for our second child and realized, even if both of us are working, daycare costs will be out of reach. I’m nervous on two fronts and would appreciate any advice or stories regarding two transitions: 1 - from being a full time worker to full time SAHM (I admittedly was VERY ready to return to work at the end of my first maternity leave) 2 - how to transition baby #1 OUT of daycare. She attends full time currently (our daycare does not do part-time rates until the 2-year old room) Thanks in advance!

  • Laura
    Jul 02

    Sounds like you've already made the decision, but did you consider other options like a nanny for the two kids that might be cheaper than two kids in daycare? Or keep the oldest in daycare and get a nanny share for the younger? Or have family help out for a little bit? If you love your work, I'd do everything you can to stay at work, knowing these high costs are temporary, you might be really unhappy at home, and it will be harder to go back to work later after being out of the workforce for a while.

  • Jenn
    Jul 02

    How old will she be when the baby comes? Maybe talk to your daycare and see if they would work with you. That's what I did with mine and we worked something out. I'm sure they would rather get less from you than none at all. If not, you could always looks for another daycare that will allow you to do 2-3 days a week.

  • Sara
    Jul 03

    It sounds like you have two kids close in age which can be expensive from a child care perspective! As others have mentioned, a nanny, nanny share, or au pair may be cheaper in this case than daycare for two very young children close in age. You might also consider finding a different daycare or preschool that has part-time programs for young kids (winnie.com/childcare to search) so that your older one can maintain the socialization they're used to and give you a break while you're tending to the baby.

  • Kiva
    Jul 04

    I did the transition from full time daycare with my 2 year old to SAHM when my second was born. It's an intense switch. My biggest challenge was what to do with the toddler when I was feeding and putting the baby to sleep. We ended up using TV but you may find something else works for you. I also underestimated how much I would miss adult interactions. It gets lonely, so find someone to talk to.

  • Christine
    Jul 04

    I had a job I loved when baby #2 came and was reluctant to quit because how on earth could I ever give up this perfect job. Best decision I ever made for both my benefit and my kids’. Being a stay at home mom is hard but you can eventually adapt.

  • Christine
    Jul 04

    Best decision I made was to quit that is. My wording was unclear

  • Sheena
    Jul 04

    I had twins so we started off with 2 full time day care . i miss them so much and feel like i can't give them enough attention. I looked around for part time day cares, its hard to find. I found churches that offer part time day care and am switching to that and changing to part time work, i won't make them much but i like that i get to do work and be with my babies more.

  • Jenny
    Jul 04

    Is there a reason why you want 2 under 2yrs? If you are willing to wait until your oldest will be 2 when the baby is born (start trying at 1yr 3mths) it'll mean she can still go to part-time daycare. It makes a huge difference to be able to send the oldest somewhere so you can focus on baby. If you are definitely going to be a SAHM then take your oldest out of preschool at least a month before baby is due. You do not want him/her to have their world turned upside down with the arrival of the baby plus be taken out of school at the same time. Find a SAHM Group. You will need the socialization and so will your oldest. Keeping a toddler couped up in the house all day is just asking for a hyperactive toddler (which is why I'm strongly suggesting waiting until the oldest can do part-time care).

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jul 04

    When I had my first, I was ecstatic to return to work. Everyone told me I was going to be devastated and cry, and I loved it. I felt like I had it all. As my second child came close to being due (17 months apart), I asked to go part time to make life balance easier (I loved my job, and my husband and I honestly could afford to put both in daycare based on our pay and work from home flexibility), but they refused and I quit. I left crying wondering who I was if I wasn’t the career woman and how I was going to manage these tiny humans, but also excited. I am currently pregnant with baby four, and I will have four kids under the age 5. I am so thankful I made this jump and had my kids close together. I sometimes feel guilty that I missed that first 15 months of my oldest life, but I also realize that I was my best me (and mom). because I was working at the time. If you want to keep working and can find a child care solution for two kids, I encourage you to do that, because it’s important you are the best you. If you want to be at home and can be financially, I encourage you to do that because it’s important you be the best you. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make these choices focused on being the best parent they can be, rather then simply looking at the numbers of the bank account. If you are staying at home, I encourage you to do two things 1) find parents to socialize with, usually there is a fb group that organizes events for your kids age 2)find something you enjoy for you, I found a volunteer org that I work remotely for, flexible hours, related to my field of work - it gives me two things 1) a future reference when I go back to working 2) a fulfillment of being me -the old me - and I get kudos from the org, nobody high fives me for dumping out the training potty full of poop...etc. as far as your child...they’re going to be thrilled to be home with you more, so as long as you take them out to parks and activities their age (don’t kill yourself, I’d say 2-4 times a week), and socialize them and yourself they’re going to love it. You may find you need to adjust schedules to make the new baby work with the first child, or you may find it all fits nicely on its own. You’ll rock it. :)