Trust in relationships
My husband and I have always been immature when it comes to trust. I’ve been working on it so hard this last year, and I’ve come a long way. Fast forward to the last few months, and idk if it’s in my head or these are red flags but here we go: my husband started talking to old girl “friends”, one he slept with once before but nothing more than that. He deleted their conversation, when I asked about it he told me he deleted it bc he thought I’d over react that he talked to her at all. The other girl was a friends ex gf, and there was CLEARLY deleted messages, and when I called him out on it, he got mad and deleted the whole thread. Now I shouldn’t have been going through his stuff I guess. So I stopped going through his stuff. Well for Christmas I got him an iPad. He accused me of buying it for him to snoop and said he was paranoid. I told him to take it back. I literally didn’t touch it at all, but one night I got on it just to play with it, MAYBE for 5 mins, and went right to bed. The next morning I picked it up again to check the weather, and it immediately asked me for his password, so I typed it in and it had been changed. I asked him why and he said it was bc I locked him out of his account. There is no way I locked it out because 1.) I already knew his password prior and 2.) I scrolled through the main screen and that’s it. I got upset about it and he gave me his new password to prove himself or something. Fast forward to tonight and I’m sitting at home and he randomly texts me asking if I locked him out of his iCloud and fb. I said no, I’ve been sitting here watching Netflix I haven’t touched your stuff. This time he changes all of his passwords and of course doesn’t tell me his new ones. I don’t want a relationship where I feel this bad. I don’t want to feel a need to go through someone’s stuff or feel like these are red flags I shouldn’t ignore. He tells me all the time he doesn’t care how I feel and this is my problem. He doesn’t understand why I’m having trust issues and thinks I should just get over it. Last year he was begging me to have a baby and I wanted to wait. This year I’m finally ready, and now he could care less. We were going to buy a house, now he doesn’t want to anymore. I’m at a loss. I love him, I don’t want our relationship to end. But whether there’s something being hidden or not, I don’t feel respected or cared about. When is enough enough?