Posted in In-Laws

Trust issues. Am I over reacting or no?

Heya lovely people. So I’m a couple of weeks away from having my first child and I have major trust issues with my partners family. I come from a very strong minded woman based family, and my partners family is more the man is the more important role. I’ve had major issues with his family based on different views and how things should be. His family have never liked me based on this. It’s even gone to the point where I’ve been yelled by various members of his family in public for being unreasonable. His mother says that she would rather her son be with someone else. When they found out I was pregnant, they have put this nice act on and to me it’s very condescending and ignorant. I live with my parents who have been more than helpful and have made every moment of this pregnancy easy for me. Helping me gather things I need. Reason why I live with them is so I can finish the last 6 months of my degree. My partner lives with his high school mates in a flat so only get to see him in the weekend. We have both made the decision to not have any photos of our daughter on social media with the possibility of her face been landed in the wrong hands, and even discussed that my partner and I only take her photo. Now my family are 100% on board with this but his family are not. His mother says it’s her right to have photos of her grandchild and I have said no and I get yelled at everytime. My family understands where I am coming from with the whole photo situation, his just don’t. His mother has gathered a lot of stuff that will only be kept at her house (3 high chairs, 4 cots, baby clothes, toys and anything else you can think off) I find this really over the top as my baby will only be kept at home as I don’t want her routine been thrown off. She said she insist on babysitting but I don’t trust my baby in her care. Saying I shouldn’t breastfeed and that she should be in disposables (she’s going to be breastfeed and put into cloth nappies) saying I should be dropping her off at her house everyday while I go to school so she can be raised properly. Even with disciplining my child when she is older and that hitting is the best way to get the point partner says he would like our baby to stay atlest a night at his mothers while I say no and he gets all shitty with me. My partner is the type of man that keeps by his mothers word and keeps things neutral so he doesn’t pick a side, so it’s myself that always ends up being the bad guy. So am I right to not be so trusting towards his family and not leaving my baby with them or am I overreacting?

  • Anonymous
    Jun 01

    I don’t know think you are overreacting; if they can’t be nice to you, how they going to treat your kiddo. You are the mother and it should be how you want it to be regarding your kiddo. She would be to young to be spending the night at grandmas; as they interact with her while you are there, you can change your mind. Since, you said your partner’s family views males as more important; how would they treat your female child? Stand your ground as you would be your kiddo’s advocate.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 09

    You’re completely right to not trust them. You don’t need your child growing up with the mind F... of having grandparents and dads family talking crap about you to them. And you can bet your tush that’s exactly what will happen. Sine your husband comes from such a misogynistic family, does he share their beliefs or yours?? Hopefully he will be on your side and will agree and stick up for you. Otherwise it’s going to be a battle.