Anonymous

What do you say when people ask what you do all day?

Hi! How do you respond to people when they ask you what you do all day? I'm a stay at home mom with a child who now attends preschool.

  • Diana
    Jul 08

    I think the answer should depend on who’s asking. Quite honestly, before I had a child, I had no idea just how much time everything takes after having one and would have been interested to hear a generic, from 6 to 7 am shower and dress, 7 to 8 breakfast, 8 to 9 errands, etc. Now, as a mom, I’d want to hear a more detailed, “I was researching ____ approach to learning and tried to implement it, only to find junior hated it for this reason...” But the random person at the grocery store - they get a generic, “just try to keep up with all that energy (while pointing at my child who’s spinning in circles or dancing while waiting in line)”

  • Anonymous
    Jul 08

    I mean, I’m curious if kids are at school all day. I know there’s always stuff to get done around the house.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 08

    First off you do not owe anyone an answer when it comes to how you spend your personal time. Second any mother who has stayed home before would not ask, because we get it. I have been on both ends, stayed home/worked so I get it..but a mother/any person who has never stayed home will never understand so youre best off just giving them some smart a$$ answer to spice it up! Keep your head up, and know that you really don’t even have to respond! Change the subject! Or ask a question in return and put them on the spot. “what do you do all day?”

  • Anonymous
    Jul 08

    But for real and in not a rude way at all, once the kids are in school all day, how do you spend 8-3? I’m genuinely curious how people use the time

  • Vicki
    Jul 08

    I run a household and make a life for my family.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 08

    It depends. How are they saying it? People could be genuinely curious and automatically getting defensive is pointless. I come from a family of workaholics who wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they were stay at home parents. Not everything requires an attitude or a smart ass answer.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 08

    Various tone..some inquisitive others in a not so nice way

  • Anonymous
    Jul 08

    I would feel out the tone and rather than making a sarcastic comment give a real answer. I've been a stay at home mom and a working mom and both get obnoxious comments. Stay at home moms get the "what do you do all day" comments while working moms get the "so who watches your kids" comments. You wont achieve much with a sarcastic answer, but giving a real, honest answer may achieve something.

  • Wayne
    Jul 08

    Mom things. Lol. As a joke, I come home from work and ask my wife what she did all day. It must be fun to have all that time! But in reality, she runs the house. Cleans, does laundry, make food, chase two little boys around, stop them from "killing" each other, wakes up in the middle of the night with them, etc, etc. It's easy for people, especially non-parents, to make assumptions.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 11

    I don't yet have children and work full time. When I do, I imagine staying home will mostly mean chasing them around. What I hope it can mean is having the time to make a healthier life for my family. i.e. prepping healthy food instead of eating out and buying lunches, planning recreation, providing better emotional support for the family, having the time to conserve and make economical choices, etc. Maybe too ambitious...I'll probably just say "whatever the hell I want."

  • Anonymous
    Jul 11

    I'm a hard worker; in the past, I've worked more than full-time while also getting a master's degree, and I can honestly say the hardest I've ever worked in my life is (1) as a stay at home mom (SAHM) of a baby and (2) during school breaks as a teenager being a nanny for / babysitting my autistic little sister from ages 0 to 4. There are so many chores and errands to do while also trying to keep the kids clean, fed, safe, happy, and learning. Raising kids is more than a full-time job whether someone is employed outside the home or not. Even while the kiddos are at school, stay at home parents or caregivers are still doing chores and errands; some also volunteer.

  • Angelica
    Jul 11

    Lol, I'm glad nobody has asked me. I think you tell them ther truth: you take care of a child, spouse, and house; run errands; and whatever else. I never got it before I became a SAHM, either. Now, I understand; it's a thankless job, and a ton of work. We cook and clean, and bathe, meal plan, balance budgets, pay bills, and grocery shop, change diapers, entertain and educate, read bedtime stories, and put to bed the kiddos...it's neverending. Some of us also volunteer outside the home--for instance, I'm on our church worship team, and my husband and I lead a Finance class on Wednesday nights. And, oh my goodness...let's not even talk about the traveling husband, who goes away for a week or more, or works night shift, leaving you to do it all alone.

  • Z
    Jul 11

    “I am a full time parent.” People without kids won’t truly get it, people with them will understand.

  • Rachel
    Jul 11

    I usually opt for "I'm a nanny, chef, house cleaner, chauffer, and accountant"

  • becky
    Jul 11

    I say everything. I think that sums it up.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 11

    I agree with the comments above. Depending on the age being a stay at home parent could be a lot of work. I think people are commenting on when you only have school aged kids and they are in school all day. I think even stay at home moms are wishing they had that kind of free time.