Posted in Family Planning, Multiple Children

When & what made you decide to have baby#2?

Anonymous

My husband & I have always wanted to have 2 or more kids. It’s one of our conversations when we decided to get married & settle down. We both came from a close & loving family. However, we’re currently dealing with an almost 2 year old active & often challenging toddler boy whose been making us more tired by the day. So planning for baby#2 has been put on hold for awhile now & we’re both in our mid to late 30s. Just curious, if there’s any family that waited & was able to planned out when to have baby#2? Was it a concern if your kids will have a bigger age gap? Was it easier to have the next baby when the oldest kid starts school? I know each family is to their own preference but just wanted to hear your stories. I think I’m just overwhelmed at the moment but I still longed to have the bigger family my husband & I wanted in the first place. (As a background, I’m a SAHM. We do not have families nearby since we got married & have a child.)

  • Kieli
    Oct 21

    I am the youngest in my family, my older brother is 8 years old than me and my sister is 10 years older than me. My husband’s brother is 2 years older than him, and he loved the relationship they had as kids so our plan was to have our kids 2 years apart. Which actually happened by accident. Lol. Just yesterday I took my girls to the park, my 2 year old was trying to get the attention of the older kids to play with, and they ignored her. It made me so sad for her, I could see in her face she didn’t understand why they weren’t 1) even responding to her, and 2) not willing to play with her. It gives me a little bit of relief to think in about 6 more months park days will be more fun for her, when her little sister can run around and explore with her. It is hard having them so close, I feel like I am constantly on the go as a SAHM as well, cleaning, cooking, nursing, nap time, bath time and cleaning again lol. But with the experience I dealt with yesterday, I am so happy she has a sibling so close in age.

  • Ivy
    Oct 22

    I have a 4 and 2 year old, and a 7 month old. It would’ve been much easier I’m sure, if it were just my 4 year old and the baby. 4 year old is not too bad right now, and is going to school. My 2 year old is just very difficult compared to his brother, but I do remember that age being the worst in general. I will say, I don’t regret having them this close in age though. I wouldn’t have minded it being even closer, but it just wouldn’t happen for us. My two older kids play with one another and I love watching them grow up together. And I see how they love on their little sister and it’s the best. The two boys can fight and get annoyed by one another, but the fact that they have one another, seems to make them happy. I know growing up, my sister and I were very close, vs our three younger brothers. My sister is only 11 months older than I am and we’re the best of friends. My younger brothers are 5, 8, and 14 years younger than I am, and our bond is not as strong even though it’s there. One thing I will say, if you are still feeling anxious about your difficult toddler— I don’t think it will be that far of an age gap if you guys wait one more year or so til your first is a little more mature and able to understand better. I think your children will have years to bond and sometimes, it’s what you guys make of it. Plus, the older kids can help out as well. My sister and I helped raise our brothers and til this day, my mom says that we were easy children.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 27

    So, I am a stay at home mom with no family on either side within an 8 hr drive. I have 4 kids, 5,3.5,2 yes and a 9 week old. There are so many pros and cons to this stuff. Pros of kids close together: they play with each other, you over lap nights of lost sleep, you remember how to do it quicker, you get it over (the baby loss of sleep stage) faster, you still have all the baby equipment, etc. cons: lots of needs, lack of routine, pregnancy with toddlers is even harder, it goes by fast and you don’t always feel like you gave everyone the attention they deserved. I would say. For kids farther apart, they’ll still have a bond, it’ll just be different. You’ll have a helper in the older child, you’ll be able to focus more. I think your in a good spot. I’ve read spacing them about 3 years apart is ideal. So I think you can handle it, but it’s really all about what you want your life to look like. It’s nice to have a family vision, but as we all know, each baby is it’s own experience and doesn’t usually fit with the vision we expected.