Posted in Behavior, Toddlers

When your 2 year old makes you feel like a jerk

My daughter is usually pretty good and has never done anything like this before but I was leaving her daycare with her and I saw another mom walking in to pick up her younger child and she had her older school aged child with her. I was saying hello and my daughter skipped up to us and smiled and then threw something at the other mom’s daughter. It was a pinecone. It didn’t hit the girl but I asked her to apologize and she just stood there. I just felt like the asshole mom whose kid didn’t even feel sorry that she threw something at someone. She usually shows tons of empathy and is supposedly never like this at school. Should I be worried?

  • Anonymous
    Oct 15

    To be honest (especially at daycare) if someone threw a pine cone at my kid I’d laugh and be like oh it’s ok. Just because those daycare days are long and hard on them, and I know my kid isn’t perfect either. Which all of that is besides the point here lol no, I don’t think you should be worried. My son surprisingly (also 2) REALLY understands us. I would defintely have talked to him on the way home, that’s not nice, we don’t do that etc. another note: you know when you’re introducing your kid to someone and you say “say hi!!” And they stand there and act like they saw a ghost? I’m sure that’s what she was feeling, it’s hard to use words under pressure for toddlers. It feels worse for you than it did for the other mom I think.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 15

    No! Odds are your child was trying to get attention or show off her pine cone and her instinct on how to communicate those messages was throwing it because she’s two and she has no impulse control. Further, you can’t make your kid say sorry. Especially not at age 2. If that mom is judging you because your 2 yr old didn’t apologize she’s an idiot. I would recommend in that situation bending down to her, and saying something like “I see you were excited, but we can’t throw pine cones. They are hard and could hurt some one. We can fix this mistake by saying “sorry” and then you say “sorry” to the mom, and move on from there. Most kids care, and will be empathetic but teaching them social protocols on how to express that takes a long time.

  • Lindsey
    Oct 16

    You're doing the best you can mama. I agree with the above mom's, use it as a teaching moment for LO and then laugh it off. Sending good vibes 💗

  • Marie
    Oct 17

    @mamanukesyopolo that was an excellent response. Thanks for sharing. It helps me to see a better way to communicate with my own child.

  • anonymous mom
    Oct 17

    Thanks everyone. I felt terrible and I did talk to her on the way home. She acted totally nonchalant and like she didn’t really understand what the big deal is...in the future I’ll use some of the techniques here. Thanks again.