Divorce & Separation

Advice and support for navigating divorce, separation, custody issues, talking to children about divorce, child support, and more.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Wednesday

Any of you guys going through custody battles with an ex once you have sued for child support?

  • Taylor
    Wednesday

    yes. i finally got him to sign an agreement my lawyer made because he figured he would get basically nothing going to court

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Mar 17

New boyfriend

How long should I wait to bring my son around my new boyfriend? I've been good friends with my bf for almost 10 years now, but we didn't start being a couple until recently. When and how should I tell my child's father? My child's father and I have been broken up for almost 2 years, but still living together until about a month ago. My child's father and I had no issues no... More

  • Kerry
    Mar 18

    Did your child know your bf before you started dating? How old is your child? Imo if youve known him for that long and trust him have him around your son but as a friend to him not a “father/dad” figure. The father cant dictate who you have around your son unless it puts your son in danger or a bad situation. If you have good friends and family, then have them around your son. Specially if you ... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Mar 17

Separation and Coparenting

My ex and I are trying to create a parenting agreement without having to go to court. Are there any ideas on what for sure needs to be in it? Or ideas on things that are good to include or not include?

  • Hope
    Mar 18

    You can write up a stipulation that you both sign and have signed off my court. You don’t need a lawyer to do this because you are agreeing on what information you wrote in the packet. Things like holidays, child care costs, medical and dental insurance and costs, child support, etc. at least that’s how it is in MN not sure what state you are in.

  • Mary
    Tuesday

    I just filed my separation agreement, divorce final in 30 days... We used a mediator as we are very amicable and only used the court to file. Our SA has the following in it: Custody - list out who has legal and physical... it could 50/50 for both. Parenting schedule - who has who and when... list out the every day - what a typical week looks like. And then add in all the caveats; thanksgiving... More

Childish grandparents ruining my baby’s day

How do other parents handle divorced grandparents that act like high schoolers? This is not the first incident with them not getting along when it comes to celebrating the baby. The gender reveal party was a nightmare. I am planning my daughters 2nd birthday & it’s difficult for me because my step mother is not a fan of me & my mom. She has actually said that if my mom is there my sh... More

  • Anonymous
    Mar 06

    Hi! Sorry if I sound mean but she's only your step mom..I would just talk to your dad and if he shows then that's wonderful and if he doesn't then well you know where his priority is..do what works for you and your family..continue to plan it the way you want to plan it..she's only your step mom

  • Lindsey
    Mar 09

    I have so much experience with this... and it took me a long time but you need to set boundaries with them. And your dad should stand up to her and be there for his grandchild. You need to say this is a party for my child and if you act inappropriate don’t come at all. Your child does not need toxic people in her life. It is a hard thing to do but so necessary.

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Feb 27

Remarried with two children

So I had my first child with my first husband and my second child with my current husband. My first child and my current husband have always butt heads since me and him got together. He has always been very respectful, compassionate and respectful of her feelings. But yet she treats him as second best even when he goes above and beyond to try to earn her love and respect. Any suggestions from a... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 28

    Thank you Ivy. I appreciate your advice.

  • Sammyjo
    Mar 14

    She's probably just feels he's trying to replace her real father since she barely sees him

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Feb 19

Separation

How often do you talk to your ex when there’s a child involved ? My daughter is 16 months. How often does he call or come by to see child? Idk how to go about this

  • Anonymous
    Feb 21

    It might be a good idea to get your lawyer or family mediator involved so that any agreement on custody can be enforced.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 21

    Okay I’ll talk to a lawyer. Thank you guys !

I love my family

I love my wife of almost 7yrs, who’s also my baby momma of a Beautiful healthy 2yr old. But she told me she needs time apart for a while. It’s been two months, something like that apart. And I still can’t forget her. I feel like she doesn’t loves me anymore. But Idk. She says she does but i don’t see it in her eyes. So... Any Ideas ?

  • Karla
    Feb 14

    I have been with my husband for 10 year and married for 3 years and I can honestly say I also remember a patch of us wanting to be apart. We worked through our problems but would suggest counseling as well. Idk how much time one needs apart from a spouse to figure out what you wanna do next in life or who you want to spend life with. Wish you well!

  • Alan
    Feb 15

    Thank you

Any single parents out there going through the dilemma ??

I separated from my (soon to be ex) husband just over a year ago, and I find im still struggling to adjust to the change. While it has nothing to do with him, I find im having a hard time getting things done. For instance, I want to start exercising, going out, do activities with the kids, but I find it much too hard. My job schedule is really inconvenient, and it usually conflicts with anythin... More

  • Traci
    Feb 01

    I feel the exact same way. Thanks for the suggestions

  • Alan
    Feb 18

    Is there daddy groups ?

Co parenting with another parent who’s stubborn?

I’ve been having trouble trying to figure out a good way to share custody with my sons father, he’s very rude and stubborn as heck. Any time we talk it turns into an argument. How can I approach this differently, or to come to an agreement?

  • Destinee
    Jan 18

    It might be a good ideas to consider a mediator. Then you have a professional putting all expectations in writing and it’s clear to all parties. and if anyone goes against it you can go to court.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jan 05

Separating after baby comes

Husband and I are pregnant with baby #2 and have a very volatile relationship. Neither of us are happy and have tried counseling, etc to try to make it work. Baby #2 was a surprise and we had previously agreed to separate before we found out I was pregnant. Long story short, after baby comes we will be splitting and co-parenting. We have decided this on good terms, no anger or hostility just sa... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 07

    I have a friend who did exactly this. It has been much better for their kids to co-parent but not be together. They live really close to each other to make the logistics easy. It will be hard in the beginning but just know you're doing the best thing for yourself and your kids.

  • Sandra
    Feb 01

    Before I got pregnant my babies father and I were having issues, I was going to break up with him,then I found out I was pregnant and tried to make it work for about 3 months before realizing that I did not want to be with him.I knew that for your kids you have to be okay for them to be okay,it will be hard at first because you’re going to need help,and since you will be separated,it’s going to... More

Elissa posted in Behavior Dec 26

Help!

My five year old stepson Andrew is with us 5 days/wk. with his mother on weekends. She got a new bf (Matt, who lives two hours away) and because the courts gave her all thanksgiving day, she took him to his house and they stayed the whole thanksgiving weekend. She has made him call the new bf - second one since September - MattyDaddy right from the start. She’s trying to replace his dad and get... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Dec 12, 2018

Anyone have any luck getting Sole and legal custody

My daughter has been living with me for 6 years. Her dad comes in and out ever 6 months or so. Last time he was away for over a year. He recently popped at her school because his mom threatened to kick him out the house. Now I’m finding out I have no control if he takes her or not. I always thought I had sole custody because child support said he is the non custodial parent. He tells my daughte... More

  • Teena
    Dec 13, 2018

    You absolutely need a lawyer, but do your own research on your state laws on the requirements to terminate parental rights. Most states will not allow this unless there is another person/parent willing to step in and adopt. Your situation sounds almost the same as what I went through for years with my oldest and I finally was able to terminate his rights on the grounds of abandonment.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 27

    This a mistake a lot of people make in assuming they have more rights over the child than the other parent. Child support is a separate issue than custody or visitation. While you can file for sole custody on your own having a lawyer will help because they know your states laws. Also if you can prove the dad has been in and out of her life. My nieces mom disappeared when she was 22 months old l... More

Separate parenting issues

This would be my first post on here. Really hoping to get some real insight and advice.. my daughter who just turned 10 yrs, recently started seeing her dad again. He hasn't seen her in over a yr. Anyway, my daughter tells me he has been bad mouthing me to her and saying things that aren't true. Things like me using her against him (which isn't true) . I was actually the parent tryi... More

  • Angie
    Dec 14, 2018

    Hmmm, thats a tough one cuz you need to stop this but dont want to lose her trust. Try explaining to her that secrets are not to be kept between adults and children. Honestly, do you know if your ex is a narcissist? This sounds like behavior of a narc. I just recently permanently stopped communication and visitation with my childs father for many unhealthy reasons due to being a malignant cover... More

  • SWAGGERDAD
    Dec 14, 2018

    Hey, I think you should have a talk with him and when I say "talk "not about bad mouthing you but Have a conversation, by the looks of it he's hurting inside, that why he's bad mouthing you to his daughter. As a Man and a Father I don't agree with he's action, he's wrong for doing that and using his daughter against her mom. He thinks he's hurting you by bad... More

I need some support from my other mom's on here me and my feonca just split up last night it was bad

  • Vanessasarver
    Dec 05, 2018

    Thank u so much

  • Jill
    Jan 04

    I just went through the same thing a few months ago. We have a now 1 year old little boy. Boy is it tough! Not only being a single Mom (not sure how involved your child’s Father is but mine sucks) but dealing with the grief and loss of the relationship. I don’t know your situation or circumstances but just stay strong! It’s a process but it will get better! Reach out to friends, family, a couns... More

My boyfriend's complicated + expensive divorce stresses me out. How do I live with this?

I posted a few months ago and it made me feel so much less alone in my situation... so now I'm back for more. For over a year I've been dating a single dad. He's the best. He's raising 2 kids mostly on his own. The kids seem to like me and I've been getting to know them better. My boyfriend and their mom are in the process of getting divorced. It is complicated for many re... More

  • Teena
    Dec 13, 2018

    You are on the right track!! I am in the same situation and I was so stressed out until someone said something that changed my whole outlook....His divorce is none of your business. I know it seems harsh, but truly it is not. His marriage was not your relationship and neither is his divorce. If he wants to come to you for support, then support him, but you cannot and should not be making any of... More

  • L
    Dec 13, 2018

    Yessss! Thank you Teena. I agree. It is none of my business.... Also I know this baggage isn't really going anywhere so a lot of it is about how I relate to the situation. He's started sharing less of the details with me and that has made it a little easier.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Nov 22, 2018

How do you guys split holidays with family and in laws?

Especially with divorced parents too

  • Anonymous
    Dec 03, 2018

    I’d really like to do that, I get grandparents want all their kids over to their house for the holidays but I want to have our kids do it at our own place. It’s really hard when mil and fil are divorced we’re torn between three sets of grandparents

  • Jennifer
    Dec 28

    We used to run around thanksgiving & Christmas to my parents, his dad and his mom. Finally I just had enough. Since my family never seemed to have traditional thanksgiving food and that was a bigger holiday for his family to get together we now go to his grandma house with his his mom for thanksgiving. My parents are usually out of town visiting my aunt so we don’t do anything with them. Ch... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Oct 30, 2018

Separation because of parents

My wife and I never really fight except for things our parents do. We have a 1 year old daughter and since she is the only grandchild in both sets of families and will 99.9% chance be the only one we have a more unusual family dynamic. Over the past several months/year since the birth of our daughter, I’ve struggled with my in-laws and sister-in-law likely due to me not being as used to havin... More

  • Julie
    Nov 24, 2018

    I’ve been thinking about you!! How did the pow wow go?? I hope things are calming down!

  • Anonymous
    Nov 24, 2018

    @julie, It went okay. I was a bit surprised initially that my MIL didn’t think we had any “issues”.... I brought up how some of the old issues still bothered me and she I guess felt they weren’t issue any more. She asked if it was my Mom what would I do and I said I would likely tell her how I felt and my MIL said to treat her the same. Sounds nice but not real in my opinion. I’ve been learni... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Oct 28, 2018

Tough divorce

After less than 5 years of marriage my wife decided that we couldn’t make the relationship work. She was unwilling to do couples counseling (every counselor I suggested she would turn down). She and the kids moved in with her sister about 7 months ago. Our oldest (now 5) is having a really hard time with this. We haven’t finalized the divorce yet and she met someone 3 months after moving out. S... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 09, 2018

    Op responding. Sarah, no our state doesn’t require co-parenting training. And the only reason the courts typically take children from the custodial parent in our state is child endangerment. Moving in with a boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t automatically count, even in cases of infidelity. Thank you all for the feedback. I was starting to think I could be overreacting but when total strangers l... More

  • Emily
    Nov 09, 2018

    Good luck! I wish the best it’s never easy!

Co-parenting

So my husband and I are going through a divorce. I can’t get him to stick to a visitation schedule of any kind. I always get the “I have to work” excuse and “I don’t have a set schedule.” I’m always with the kids and hardly ever get a break. I’m almost more than sure he goes out after work and I stay in with the kids. It upsets me immensely. Am I wrong? Should I be greatful I’m with the kids th... More

  • JJ
    Oct 26, 2018

    I would document all this and make sure that a lawyer or court system is aware to be sure you’re getting the appropriate support and have it on paper in case he or his side of the family decides to do something stupid down the road. Protect yourself and your babies first. Ask others for help so you can get some rest.

  • Rosa
    Nov 16, 2018

    I would take him to court ! File for visitation that way it can be a set schedule for your children & if he starts missing his set visitation document it . Eventually two things will happen he will get his shit together or you will gain full custody and get my child support out of him . One thing I’ve learned you can’t force someone to be there if they don’t want to . I know it sucks and it... More

Is it okay to take a break from our marriage

I recently stopped drinking and using drugs. In getting sober I let my wife know just how much I’ve lied to her over the years. She is needless to say angry, hurt and distrustful of me at the moment. At the same time though she had been moving on without telling me and was in an emotional relationship with another person. Now we are working on just being friends first before we move forward in ... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 22, 2018

    If she needs to take a break, then it’s ok. But I’d advise making a plan with her for how you’re going to work on things. Marriage counseling would be a great idea.

  • Patrick
    Oct 28, 2018

    So just as a short follow up she has settled on wanting to date other people. She says she is going to go experience a sexual relationship with this other man, and that after that we will see how she feels. I am not sure how I feel about this. Honestly, If she had come to me before I discovered the relationship on my own I would have been okay with her starting this idea of an open marriage ty... More

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