Divorce & Separation

Advice and support for navigating divorce, separation, custody issues, talking to children about divorce, child support, and more.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Feb 01

Co Parenting with different mindsets

Ok so I am a step mama of 2 great kiddos. One is 7 and one will be 6 in September. The only problem is when they stay with their mom for long periods if time they come back with terrible behavior issues (hitting, yelling, lying, terrible attitude/back talking) and this does not happen when they spend extended periods of time with their dad and I, it only happens when they come back from a week ... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jan 20

In-laws divorcing

I just found out that my in-laws are getting a divorce. No clue what is prompting this. They've been married for nearly 40 years, they are in their 60's and their kids are all in their 30's. They live across the country and we usually see them a couple times a year. We actually just saw them 3 weeks ago and they mentioned a vacation planned for Feb so part of me thinks they came to ... More

  • Sara
    Jan 23

    Depends on the relationship I think between your in-laws and husband to know if this is going to create more work or emotional involvement for him. If he has siblings it’s possible they could be the ones to shoulder that if it happens instead. As far as positives, I have a different situation but my father in law passed away a couple years ago leaving my mother in law alone. It has allowed my m... More

  • Teddy
    Jan 23

    Ugh. Buckle up. It will be trying. It hurts and it makes things “awkward” and tough to always know what the right thing to do is. My husbands parents separated right before we got pregnant with our first child. They were married for 25 years and together nearly 30. It’s been... 6 or so years. New partners on both sides has been... less than fun at times (setting boundaries about not letting our... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jan 16

Would you live in an area you don’t like to stay close to co-parent (Ex)

I am missing my hometown and am looking to move back. Currently my ex lives only 20 mins away and is able to see our son every week. If I move, it would be an hour at least and he would have to take him every other weekend. I’m not sure whether I should base where I live on where my ex lives, especially when my whole family lives in my hoMe town and my son could see family more. But the idea of... More

  • Amanda
    Jan 16

    Specifically: my mom lived in North Carolina, where my siblings and I attended school, and my dad moved to Maryland. After my dad moved, he would make the six-hour drive every Friday, rent a hotel room for two nights, and then drive six hours back to Maryland on Sunday. My siblings and I had the option of staying with our dad in the hotel or staying at home with our mom during the weekends, but... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 16

    That sounds like a good dad for doing all of that!

Getting back with my child’s father

I have been thinking about trying again with my ex, with whom I share a 3-yr-old son. We broke up 3 years ago, so our son has never really seen us together, kissing, etc. He has been wanting to try again pretty much since we broke up, and I feel like we both have changed as people and certain things aren’t factors anymore (like, for instance, his ex, who did a lot of meddling in our relationshi... More

Why does my 5 year old start sobbing as soon as we sit down to dinner every night?

Is she just trying to avoid eating her vegetables? I’m a divorced father who has custody 50/50. Most days we have a lot of fun, but she starts saying ‘I miss my Mom’ and crying as soon as I set the plate in front of her. Some nights she says she misses her cousin and Nanna (my mother, who lives out of state). I’m also aware that she eats take out every night at her moms house, whereas I tend t... More

  • Ivy
    Oct 26, 2019

    I’m sorry, that sounds rough. Does she like routine? Sometimes my kids will be upset for a certain event if their dad is not there because they associate the scene with him. What helps is having a sort of “huddle” throughout the day. I tell my kids briefly what we’ll being doing for the day: Good morning, it’s Monday! Lets brush our teeth and eat breakfast. Then we’ll play, ride out bikes and... More

  • Dillon
    Oct 31, 2019

    Great suggestions, thanks! She does love her stuffed animal friends, we might start having dinner with one of them, see how that goes

Separation with dad

We decided not to stay together and even if I think that’s the right decision I am having a really hard time to processing everything. We have a 2 YO and I am really worried about her.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Oct 14, 2019

Separation with my husband

My husband decided to leave me over the summer, he still lives at home and we didn’t tell our 2 year old yet. I am in complete denial and trying to think that hopefully he will change his mind. However he seems set in his decision. What would you do? I am completely lost ...

I did it. I separated from my abusive husband.

2 days later I found out I was pregnant. Now I have a high risk pregnancy (16 weeks along) and a 2 year old and I'm a single mom. I feel completely lost. Like a puzzle piece without a puzzle. I have no idea what to do, where to turn, where do I belong. Before this I was a sahm. Now what?? Any advice for me?

  • Lulu
    Sep 20, 2019

    Thank you Ivy

  • Katrina
    Sep 23, 2019

    glad to hear you left the abusive situation. no one deserves that. going forward it's your body and your choice what you want to do. you have full power to decided what is best for you & your 2 yo. there is no wrong choice. find support services, where he cannot easily find you. search online for single mothers support groups or support for domestic violence survivors, this may help yo... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Sep 05, 2019

How to deal with ex-wife when kids are adults

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. He was previously married for 22 years and has 2 adult children ages 35 and 38 with his ex-wife. They communicated multiple times daily with texts and phone calls and 99% of the time it was not about the kids. When he and I started seeing each other it was obvious she was still in love with him...even though she's been married for 10 years... More

  • Just me
    Monday

    My issue is the kids love me. But why does she feels the need to be at all of his side of the family

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 25, 2019

What would you do if your SO decided to be a part time parent?

My husband left saying he’s not cut out for relationships. He said he doesn’t want to be tied down and wants to do what he wants when he wants. So he’s getting his place and wants the kids on his day off. He’s not gonna sacrifice anything he’s in school full time he’s getting a full time job and he wants to join organizations. I’m left to figure things out and let him be the fun dad on the days... More

  • Ivy
    Sep 01, 2019

    He has a right to see his kids, but the real narrative here, is that your kiddos have every right to have a committed father, and you have every right to not put up with an uncommitted partner. I’m so sorry you have to even deal with this. It’s not fair to you and your children, and even the rest of your families who have to deal with the rippling effects, caused by one person who can only th... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 15, 2019

    Lawyer. Now. Don't drag it out. He is not the only one affecting them negatively in this situation. Kids will see right through you... you cannot hide your emotions about this from them. You being upset about the lack of stability/predictability will come out around them and will affect them. Don't wait around for him to decide wtf he's doing. Take action.. please, for the mental he... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 11, 2019

Dating after divorce

I have been divorced twice, with one child from each marriage. My kids are 4 and 7. I have been through extensive therapy to determine why I keep choosing the wrong type of personality traits in a partner, as well as my own issues, and after 2 years I believe I’m finally ready to find the right person. I’m very concerned that I won’t be able to find someone who will be willing to handle dealing... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 13, 2019

    Thanks, that’s so nice to hear you found someone without even looking! And gives me hope! I just can’t imagine someone willing to deal with 2x the pickups/dropoffs, texts/calls, stress, jealousy, etc. ☹️

  • Anonymous
    Sep 13, 2019

    Yes! Don’t lose hope! You will find someone, there’s over a billion guys in this world. There is someone for you & your kids💕 Maybe don’t let him in on all the 411 regarding the dads. I am very open with my fiancé about my ex on everything. But I’ve noticed he does get jealous & insecure sometimes, so I keep some stuff to myself.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 09, 2019

Tips, First Time going to Court..

Currently waiting for court day (mediation) My childs Father has 2 other kids from 2 Different Girls and has visitation for both those kids every other weekend.. 1 is court ordered and the other is verbal agreement but still pays child support.. I did get a lawyer to help me out .. i hope it won’t be a waist of money . but i truly feel that my kids father should only get my kid every other wee... More

  • B
    Aug 09, 2019

    Talk to your lawyer ahead of time about what you want, and what proof you should bring.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jul 30, 2019

How do you maintain a relationship with a SO that leaves you

We have two kids, he decided he couldn’t be a full time dad because it was holding him back from his aspirations and he isn’t meant for monogamous relationship (marriage) so he didn’t to separate. He says he cares about me and I’m the best wife anyone could’ve asked for etc. It just hurts so much. I’m so angry. But I need to try and swallow all that to have a healthy co parentship for the few... More

  • B
    Jul 31, 2019

    That’s his problem, not yours. He can take them to the playground. I mean, it’s petty. And you’d be nice to let him see them at your house. But if it’s too hard now and you need some space it isn’t an unreasonable ask. You can communicate via email or text about the kids if needed.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 31, 2019

    My daughter's father blocked my phone, email, and all social media after realizing I would not abort our daughter. He abandoned her the first year of her life Its infuriating and he disgusts me, but a week before her first birthday he contacted me. He lives in another state and cant afford a hotel so when he visits he stays in my house. Its uncomfortable for me but I make the sacrifice for... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Jul 26, 2019

Boundaries with coparenting

My ex and I get along well, we are both engaged to new partners, we have a 6 year old that lives with me and stays with him one night a week. Our son just had surgery and has a 2 week recovery, so he won’t be able to go back and forth between houses. He is going to stay with me since he is mostly always here. His dad insists he should be able to come and spend time with him for a couple hours, ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 27, 2019

    I disagree with your fiance. I live with my boyfriend and my daughter. Her father tends to come up once a month to visit. When he does, he stays in our house (he would never be able to afford a hotel stay) and we cover food. I dont like my ex. My boyfriend doesn't like my ex. The visits aren't always super comfortable, but we love our child. Her father is finally making an effort to be ... More

  • Serrina F.
    Oct 09, 2019

    I'm in a similar situation like yours with my oldest son and his father who has a wife and another child together and than there's my fiance whom I have a child with. So what I would say to that is to have a sit down with all the adults to make everyone as comfortable as possible and come to some kind of agreement, understanding. Especially being that this is a special situation with a... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jul 24, 2019

Separation parents with a 2 year old

Hello, I didn’t think I will post this one day but this is happening. I am thinking about leaving my husband after 11 years together... Our little one is only 2. I would love some feedback on how to handle the situation to protect her. Thank you...

  • Anonymous
    Jul 25, 2019

    Gotcha. I mean, she’s little but there are lots of books you can read with her repeatedly to explain it. It’ll be an adjustment. They say to try to find a way to put your differences aside and be good co-parents, and coming to agreement on how pto do that.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jun 24, 2019

Custody

Anyone have stories on custody fights? Is it possible to win full custody if there is no abuse present? There is no abuse present but when it comes to the children, ex doesn’t do anything in terms of education, medical, hair cuts, cutting fingernails, and is terrible at communicating never replies back first time. Thank you

  • Aria
    Aug 26, 2019

    Im going through that myself. I live in Cali and in Cali, courts tend to rule for joint custody especially when the child is young like mine who is two years old. I’m filing for joint custody which means both of you make the decision on the child’s welfare and that you more likely cannot leave your city without the other’s approval but the key point is that I will have physical custody which me... More

  • Michelle
    Oct 29, 2019

    They will give joint custody even if its an infant

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jun 23, 2019

Husband isn’t happy with family life

Our first pregnancy was unplanned, and second we planned so our first wouldn’t be lonely. Lately we argue once a week it feels like and he stays over somewhere else when we go. He’s said he resents me and the kids (toddler and infant) and he misses his old life and he had dreams and now it’s on the back burner. I don’t have sex with him as much because ever since the babies it hurts and he comp... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jun 21, 2019

Scared to leave

I want to leave my husband, but I’m too scared to be on my own. I’m currently a SAHM with nothing but a high school diploma. I just don’t see how it’s possible for me to financially support my baby if I leave. I will be able to stay with my mom for a while, but eventually I’d like us to live on our own. What kind of jobs do you single parents have? I know daycare is ridiculously expensive. Thi... More

  • Wendy
    Aug 09, 2019

    you are scared of change.. there’s a difference. you say you don’t know what to do but you just said you can stay at your moms, “husband” can help out either through verbal agreement or child support. anything is possible!! just ask the single mammas out there.. i’m doing it 🙌🏽 trust once you get the ball rolling you’ll look back and say WHY DIDNT I LEAVE SOONER! ❤️ Kids are really not that ex... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jun 18, 2019

Adult Child Of Divorce

Anyone on here an adult child of divorce/separation? My parents are in their 50s and potentially going to split. Even though I saw this coming, I suddenly feel lost and confused. I'm pregnant with our second and trying my best not to let it stress me out. Part of me feels forced to take sides and the other part feels like I want to be left out of their mess. I really wish they would both ju... More

  • Rachel
    Jun 20, 2019

    Similar to another poster, my dad decided to leave my mom the year I got married. It was especially dramatic bc he was essentially leaving her for his coworker that we all somewhat knew beforehand (after 31 years of marriage). In any event, the first year was the hardest on me and my two sisters. We were put in the position to keep our mom together while my dad essentially ignored us and tried ... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jun 16, 2019

Newly single mom

Me and his dad are still together til our lease is up in February. We are cordial but it's hard to set boundaries when grieving under the same roof. Do any other single parents have advice for going through a breakup while still living together? I'm especially having a tough time with accepting the breakup as valid and permanent. I really never wanted to be a single mom but here I am. ... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 09, 2019

    You can’t move on until you physically move on. At least that’s been my observation of others going through the same thing. I would honestly reevaluate sticking it out until February. It sucks, but breaking a lease and eating the $$ required to do so would make a lot more sense to me than living with my ex for the next 6 months.

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