Family Life

Get advice and share ideas on navigating one's own family and extended family, including relationships with in-laws, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and more.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Feb 05

I abhor my mil

I can never escape a conversation unscathed. She talks about a lot to seem polite but I always anticipate the insult because 9/10 times it is layered in there... I've tried to avoid talking to her or even having to see her but it seems I can't get away from this Petty manipulative woman. I've allowed my son to go over for one weekend each month. And even then I try to limit my... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 05

    You can always just send your son with his father to grandma’s house. That way u r not depriving them and you don’t have to see her. If she or your boyfriend can’t handle your son themselves then no reason to see grandma tat much.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 31

When is the first time you left your little ones for a couples getaway?

I have a 2, 4, and 6-year-old. My husband and I spend lots of alone time together after they go to bed and because we work together (co-owners of a business). We have not yet gone away (without kids) on holiday. My parents live on the other side of the globe. So, I’d have to leave them with a regular caregiver who I trust... But, I still hesitate given our 2 -year-old doesn’t really understand ... More

  • Amanda
    Feb 01

    My husband and I went away to Asia (from CA) for two weeks while his parents (who flew in from Toronto) watched our 2 year old at our home. I made a booklet for the grandparents about everything they could possibly need to know (probably overdid it), put together a document giving permission for them to care for our child and had it notarized. For our son, I recorded myself reading a few of his... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 22

Raising a baby without family near

Husband and I live in Kansas, my family lives in Canada and his in California. It’s way more affordable to buy a house here so we want to raise a family here so we can provide more. Anyway, calling out all moms and dads raising babies without family near. Just want to hear your experiences with working, nannies, and not having that support nearby. Cause a strain on your relationship? Should... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 25

    Thank you so much to everyone who’s responded! It’s given us a lot of insight. I think we’re leaning more towards moving to California, in the sun & closer to in laws & future baby’s cousins. We feel family is super important and we definitely would be lonely in difficult times, and are not sure how we feel about having a babysitter/nanny yet D: We just need to adjust to a smaller budg... More

  • Mandy
    Jan 25

    It is not a strain on our marriage, however we can’t afford a nanny (and I don’t trust people with my child). It is hard, I miss alone time with my husband. But we have a solid family unit, and our son is awesome when we go out places. I guess in my experience if your relationship is strong you can make anything work. Sure it’s hard and I would love to be able to leave our son with a grandparen... More

Any single parents out there going through the dilemma ??

I separated from my (soon to be ex) husband just over a year ago, and I find im still struggling to adjust to the change. While it has nothing to do with him, I find im having a hard time getting things done. For instance, I want to start exercising, going out, do activities with the kids, but I find it much too hard. My job schedule is really inconvenient, and it usually conflicts with anythin... More

  • Traci
    Feb 01

    I feel the exact same way. Thanks for the suggestions

  • Alan
    1h ago

    Is there daddy groups ?

Anonymous posted in Behavior Jan 18

Bullying

My neighbors grandson is having issues bullying other kids. He’s 7 and has already had to be sat by himself at lunch and suspended for punching another kid because “he wanted to”. I know that he is very upset that he can’t see his dad. (out of prison, says he misses his son but went right back to drugs 4 months after freedom) (mom is back in jail) He’s not sure what to tell other kids when the... More

Second Kid Turning 1

Just wanted to hear your tips on supporting my wife, she seems to be having a hard time with our second and last kid turning 1yr, She keeps reaching out but I don’t know exactly how to be of uplifting support besides “being there for her”. -first post! 🤘🏽😊

  • Kate
    Jan 20

    Sounds like you’re doing the best thing for the situation. By simply being available for her, you’re letting her talk through and process this milestone, which can affect everyone differently. I remember feeling surprisingly emotional when my kiddo turned one. It brought up all sorts of memories and feelings. If either of you is the sentimental type, you could consider creating some kind of... More

  • Dana
    Jan 23

    Of second the book making. There are a bunch of apps (we used Chatbooks), or drugstores like Walgreens have book making options in their photo section. I love(d) browsing through baby pics, making notes about each one, and now looking through the book with the kids too. On another note - how is she sleeping? Lack of sleep can really effect mood.. or does in my case! If there are baby or older k... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Jan 15

Mother in Law drama. Trying to parent over us?? PLEASE HELP!

WARNING: LONG POST BUT I'M DESPERATE Hey Mommies! (& Daddies) My hubby and I have 3 kiddos, 1 baby boy in common (6mo.) & He has 2 children from a previous marriage 8 yr old boy and 10yr old girl. My stepkids mother would never let the kids go to their Gmas house and they never got alone time with her. Which I honestly think is ridiculous. When I became pregnant I told my MIL that ... More

  • Lily
    Jan 24

    First don't feel like you need to take the kids to see her all the time. Also, don't let her over to your house all the time. Don't let her talk you into letting the baby stay with her, he is yours and she has no right to keep him for the night. Also, we had the same problem with my mother in law and grmadma in law....we would be out shopping and they would just take the baby withou... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 24

    Thank you all so much! I appreciate all the input and advice. I really thought I was just being ridiculous but I’m so happy to hear that other women feel the same way.

Papa posted in Family Life Jan 14

Anger and depression.

Hello everyone, there's a lot to unpack here but I'm having rather difficult time managing my emotions. We're a family of recently 4, my son was born 2 weeks ago. And my oldest is 2yrs and a few months. And I find myself become very quick to anger and verbally aggressive when my 2yr old doesnt listen it acts out or just straight up whines and cry for no reason and without effective... More

  • Aleksa B.
    Jan 14

    Hi there! Cast all ur anxieties, frustrations and worries onto our Lord Jesus. I personally can speak from my experience of prayer and how much peace I have on the inside of me now as i am slowly letting go of things that used to cause me headaches that shouldn’t have. Pray for patience and understanding. Also make sure you hit pause and relax. If ur parents or in-laws (or whoever u might trust... More

  • Debra
    Jan 14

    Patience is the key. Don’t let the 2 year old get board. Kids are a hand full with to much free time on their hands. Lots of work for you but your day will go by fast. Then you can have free time when you put them down for bed. Early of course, cause their tired from all the thinking, doing, playing. Website have lots of free ideas that can help.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 12

Struggling

Ok so I’m a young mom. Got shit together well enough but not all together. I’m struggling with image of what an adult and a family looks like.. I never had family growing up really and living in Carmel where everyone is rich and successful and not struggling, all suits and tie and wives don’t work, they spend time with kids and do yoga or Pilates and even toddlers get extra curricular activiti... More

  • Aleksa B.
    Jan 13

    First time mom here, no other friends who have babies, didn’t have such a great childhood to reflect off of. I totally understand. Raising my baby I have no idea how it is supposed to “look” or am I doing this right or wrong.. but right now we have enough to survive (my husband me and baby) there can always be more things for baby, better food for baby, more activities we can do but don’t have ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 13

    No such thing as a perfect family. If they look perfect on the outside, you can bet that there’s something they’re hiding. As far as what you should strive for as a mom - as long as your baby is healthy and happy and you feel the same, then you are doing an awesome job and people should be looking at you as the model mom! You can have all the money in the world and have your kids involved in ... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 10

Baby’s name online

We will tell my mother in law to not post our baby’s full name online and she’ll listen ... for the time being. Then she does it again. I don’t know why she has to put her full name on Facebook but it’s really bothering me. Family knows her name so why does she have to always put it out there in every comment. I seriously wish she didn’t have a Facebook so I didn’t have to worry about my child... More

  • Christa
    Jan 15

    Though I agree with Tyler in some perspectives, yes, there are much bigger things to worry about with how our children this day in age, I also believe and feel that the request to NOT have my child put on social media (full names, pictures, etc.) is also INCREDIBLY important. With what is happening this day in age with kids getting killed, kidnapped by association to parents due to grievances w... More

  • Tyler
    Jan 15

    I think social media leads us to believe kidnappings etc. are happening at a faster rate than other times in history. Multiple polls that I have seen show actual crime rates declining. I get the frustration and I don’t believe the child is in any more danger with or without it. I would be cautious not to react to something and strain a relationship with a loved one over something like that... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 09

MIL wants to stay overnight too much

Hello All, Looking for some advice. Background: My in laws live at the beach, which is about 3 hours away from where my husband and I (and kids) live. My husband and I live in a bigger city, which means that the major airport and hospitals are located here. Every time that my in laws travel they come stay the night at our house since their flights are typically early in the morning and they d... More

  • Amanda
    Jan 09

    This is super tough. Totally understand how this is making you crazy. And also understand how it’s a delicate situation with your FIL. What does your husband think about this? If it’s going to be addressed, he should be the one to do so and to provide them the help on figuring out an alternative. Maybe it’s that they’re to overwhelmed with your FILs condition to think about anything else right ... More

Any ideas or tips?

Hello, I’m a first time dad of a beautiful girl. My wife and I are constantly arguing about, how I don’t help her with the baby. She gets mad that I don’t help at night, feeding her, or changing her dippers. The thing is that my 3 week newborn girl seems to be more attached to her mom. When I hold her, she starts crying, and as a first time dad I don’t want to hear my baby cry. What should I do?

  • SWAGGERDAD
    Jan 09

    Hey Cesar, Welcome to "fatherhood" bro. We all been there bro. Don't feel bad at all bro, your daughter is just use to her mom. All you have to do is your part as a dad. Any chance you have to be around and carry her do so. If is that bad, wear one of your wife shirts, like that she thinks shes being carry by her mom but it's really you lol. Do your fair share on feeding her a... More

  • molly
    Jan 12

    Cesar, you are an awesome parent for asking for help. My hubby had the same issue. Babies sense when you are nervous or uncomfortable so fake confidence, coo sweet nothings and hold it as comfortably as you can (my hubby used to hold my baby like a muddy football away from him, but he started sitting down and cradling- it helped after a few awkward crying sessions the baby loved being with him)... More

How would you feel?

My parents just moved across country to live near us. ( Kentucky to Houston). We honestly thought we would be in houston forever and we encouraged the move. Well... due to my husbands company buying another company, we are being relocated 3 hours away. My heart is broken for my parents and I just don’t want to move. ( my parents built a house here so they are here for a while) how would you h... More

  • Whitney
    Jan 03

    Thank you! We have told them, and they are disappointed but understand we have to do what’s best for us. I just feel like I have let them down and they are sad we are leaving them. They have only beeen in Houston 6 months, so they don’t have a support system yet! Thanks for the tips!

  • Lily
    Jan 03

    Don't feel guilty. My in-laws we're not happy when we had to move to Idaho from Texas. But it was what was best for our family. My family lives in California. it is hard being away. But you gotta do what is best for your family.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Jan 02

15 Month Old Treating Me Different From Dad

There are some differences that I think are okay; he will hug me meanwhile he will give a soft headbutt to dad or he'll smile while eating towards me meanwhile try to share his food with dad. This particular one is straight up wiping us out. My son for one reason or another will be crying. I try to calm him and usually get bombarded by more screaming. My husband comes in and he will calm d... More

  • Z
    Jan 02

    Normal. Some days they’ll want you, some days they’ll want dad. My two year old is currently in a daddy phase, but I know it’ll pass.

  • Pad
    Jan 02

    Sounds normal. A suggestion might be to try redirecting his attention the moment he cries.. a redirection for example if you are holding him at the time could be pretending your home is a museum and your suddenly taking him on a tour... describing pictures etc. it’s not your husbands voice it likely he isn’t quick to react when he cries thus the baby knows “I can’t pull a fast one on dad” vs w... More

BIG decisions and little time to make it

So here’s the back story. Last June my husband, 1 yr old and I moved to Utah from California. We were 2 hours away from Salt Lake, and at least 1 hour away from any big cities with jobs for my husband to get. We moved back because he got a job offer (that fell through) in California. NOW my mom is moving to Alabama, in a decent size city and 40 mins away from a town we know my husband can work ... More

  • Kieli
    Dec 30

    I’ll be staying home after baby, I may try to go back to school but not 100% yet. No daycare plans for them, I’ll be home with them and my mom will be too. She’s not retired, but not working right now either and her health is fair. I haven’t looked into schools in Alabama. I’ve been bouncing around here in Cali I’m not even sure where we’ll be by then. And no we can’t live with my dad, he doesn... More

  • Kieli
    Dec 30

    Update on schools: after a quick google search, the schools seem about the same as here in Cali. I would want to go and see them in person before I picked though

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 26

Rant: favorites

My in laws favor one grandchild over the others. The fav is a 2.5 year old with a 9 mo old brother. The grandparents have been very involved in raising the fav and I can understand a special bond but it is so much more than that. Yesterday, my 2 and 4 y/o were being silly and making the baby brother laugh. Then the kids started screaming in a goofy way. The kids did this two or three tim... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 26

    So by in laws is it his sister kids or brother kids? And does the grandparents treat your kids differently? Does your husband notice the same too?

  • Anonymous
    Dec 26

    It is my husband’s sister’s child. My husband and his brother both notice the preferential treatment. All the grandkids but the favorite are treated similar. Basically, the grandparents spend so much time caring for the fav and baby brother that they have no energy for the others.

Anonymous posted in Developmental Disorders Dec 24

Does every child learn different

Hello I’m a first-time mom to a two-year-old little boy. My question is this does every child two years old have a certain timeframe to learn certain things. The reason behind this is because yesterday I came home from a hard days work for his grandparents to Yell at me and say that my son is slow.My son is currently in daycare and he is one of their best children there. He knows how to count s... More

  • Birdie
    Dec 26

    Tell them that if they feel he should be in a better daycare, if they fully pay for it then you’ll switch. They haven’t had a child in daycare in a while so I’m guessing they don’t know how expensive a “state of the art” daycare costs. Every child develops in they’re own time. As long as he understands & responds accordingly he’ll talk more when he’s ready. I’ve run into those parents who’... More

  • Elissa
    Dec 26

    Your son sounds fine to me! As everyone else is saying, sometimes bilingual/trilingual children are a little slower to actually speak. But most understand the languages even if they aren’t speaking. And also, a lot of time boys are just slower to speak. Ask your in laws if they understand three languages like he does lol

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 23

Rant: pissed at spouse over holidays

Every year my husband and I have a battle royale over the holidays. We spend Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with his family. The problem every year is that he doesn’t like my family’s Christmas Eve traditions. This includes, going to a relative’s around 5. Santa comes around 7 or 8. Then we go to my parents to open their gifts to grandkids. This has been our tradition at... More

  • Cassandra
    Dec 25

    Christmas Eve is going to church with my parents and then back to my parents’ for dinner and presents. My three year old ends up going to bed a little late. Then Christmas morning is our time and we have his parents come at 10:30 and they stay through dinner. His parents are a couple hours away and don’t usually get a tree or decorate so they like coming to us. Plus we do the cooking and they s... More

  • Jennifer
    Dec 26

    I think one night a year is ok for kids to go to bed late and traditions should be kept

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 22

Just found out I’m pregnant and I have a 15.5 month old...

So I just found out today that I’m pregnant with my second child. I’m excited but nervous . I have such a close relationship with my son and love giving him that one on one attention. I’m nervous about how my son and our relationship will be affected by my pregnancy and ultimately a new baby. My second child will probably be born just after my son’s second birthday. We were hoping to have anoth... More

  • Tj
    Dec 24

    I’m due in a few weeks right before my first child turns two, and I also felt overwhelmed like the pregnancy happened too soon. I was worried my son would t be ready to understand but over the last few months he’s grown and matured so much that the timing seems perfect for a play buddy. He knows his unborn sister’s name, says she’s his best friend, tries to share his food and toys with her, was... More

  • MommyDear
    Dec 24

    Completely normal to feel that way. My baby girl was born 2 mo before my son’s 2nd b-day. Throughout my whole pregnancy I began to tell my son that there was a baby in mommy’s tummy. Once the belly started getting bigger and we finally had a sex, we began to call her baby sister until we had a name. He would love to touch my belly because that was his ‘baby sister’ and he would also place his e... More

Is it normal?

Does the In-Laws buy Christmas present for you? Is it bad if they don’t buy you anything? My husband family doesn’t buy me gifts but buys his brothers wife gifts. My family buys him gifts.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 27

    My MIL usually always gets all of us something. Now that there are 10 grandkids we’ve told her not to waste her money on the adults. We also don’t do a traditional Christmas with his family DH grandma gives out cards on thanksgiving with money for everyone in them and his mom stops by ours and his 2 brothers houses around Christmas to spend a little time with each family. So she could’ve spent ... More

  • Sonia
    Jan 25

    First, stop buying them gifts - if you can buy them something and not feel bad not receiving something- that would be one thing. Sounds like you buy and get resentful when you don’t receive anything. Means love yourself enough to stop trying to gain their approval. If they don’t buy anything for your children- then don’t take your children over there either. Why put your family in a place ... More

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