Family Life

Get advice and share ideas on navigating one's own family and extended family, including relationships with in-laws, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and more.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Oct 12

Early bird gets the worm.

I need some advice. I am a stay at home mom that occassionally works as an independent contractor. I get up pretty early to take my kids to school, and get a start on my day. Although, my husband doesn't. He goes to work whenever he wants [also, an independent contractor] so he doesn't have a super weird schedule where I would have to be mindful of noise level. BUT, everyday when I com... More

  • Jessica
    Thursday

    Maybe try and appeal to his Daddy instincts and tell him that the example he is setting will stay with your children forever. Like the choice to stay up late and sleep late instead of being present for you and the kids in the morning is something he can change. They see and hear everything we do. Sometimes boys will emulate the hurtful behavior towards women and girls believe they should be tr... More

  • Cj
    Thursday

    Since he goes to bed so late he can do some of the chores for you at night when you go to bed and then you won’t have to start so early 🤷🏼‍♀️

Anonymous posted in Family Life Sep 30

HELP!

My husband and I just found out we are pregnant with baby no. 2! BUT I’m in a dilemma. I want this pregnancy to be as peaceful as possible and with that I want limited people knowing for as long as I can. I know eventually family will come around and see my bump, but until then I don’t know how to not let people know. The thing is, we have parties and holidays coming up where alcohol will be ar... More

  • Christine
    Oct 03

    I would hold a glass of wine during parties and take the occasional teeny sip and have my husband drink it when no one was looking. I basically would hold the same drink all night and no one caught on. Also I’d do club soda and a lime which looked like a vodka soda.

  • Vonda
    Oct 03

    You can say you took cold medicine and don’t want to mix it with alcohol in your system. I drank root beer from a bottle and almost no one noticed the label. Or do the husband drinking trick. And fake sip. Or I’d just say I’m the one driving tonight. So no one questions it. I just wouldn’t bring it up much with your step-daughter. If she says something about your tummy etc. just say it’s your... More

Anonymous posted in Child Care Sep 23

Mother provides child care

My mom has been watching my child since about 3 months old, now going on 2. It's really becoming a strain on our relationship. She doesn't work and is on SSI so I offered to pay her to watch my daughter as opposed to sending her to daycare. We could probably afford daycare, but I'm uncomfortable with the idea. I thought it was a win - win for both of us. I'd help her out with a ... More

  • Jenny
    Sep 26

    Have you thought about enrolling your child in preschool instead of daycare? You could tell your mom you want your little one to start school, but could still use her when preschool ends for the day (the ones in my area are usually just a few hours a day).

  • Jenn
    Sep 27

    I'd look for a daycare/preschool and put her in at least part time. If you don't want hurt feelings, just say you want her to socialize with kids her age and get used to a school type atmosphere early on. We put our daughter in Montessori school at age 2, primarily for socialization and no one thinks twice about it when I explain it that way. Good luck :) hopefully everything will turn out well.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Sep 10

Grandparents Spoiling Kids

I’m a mom of two year old twins, having some difficulty dealing with having both sets of grandparents around ... and the amount that the “spoil” my kids. I feel like there is just a constant influx of new toys, new clothes ect. I’ve asked them to stop but they just don’t seem to listen. It A. creates more work for me, as I constantly have sort through all the junk that comes into our house and ... More

  • Rebecca
    Sep 12

    I always encourage for gifts things that can be a experience like tickets to a movie or theme park. I hate the influx of stuff in my home and honestly don’t feel bad getting rid of things that are not being used. And I have no problem saying that x is so nice it will be used at your house for them to enjoy. My philosophy is less is better and creates a better imagination and actual use of toys.

  • Meggan
    Sep 13

    We always got to take one or two toys home and the rest stayed. we had a if one comes in something else must go rule and what my mom called a dejunking every 6 months where not played with and broken toys and clothes were thrown out or given away. If they insist on spoiling them suggest experiences, taking them to a play or the zoo or a museum somewhere. Give experiences rather than physical gi... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 25

What would you do if your SO decided to be a part time parent?

My husband left saying he’s not cut out for relationships. He said he doesn’t want to be tied down and wants to do what he wants when he wants. So he’s getting his place and wants the kids on his day off. He’s not gonna sacrifice anything he’s in school full time he’s getting a full time job and he wants to join organizations. I’m left to figure things out and let him be the fun dad on the days... More

  • Ivy
    Sep 01

    He has a right to see his kids, but the real narrative here, is that your kiddos have every right to have a committed father, and you have every right to not put up with an uncommitted partner. I’m so sorry you have to even deal with this. It’s not fair to you and your children, and even the rest of your families who have to deal with the rippling effects, caused by one person who can only th... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 15

    Lawyer. Now. Don't drag it out. He is not the only one affecting them negatively in this situation. Kids will see right through you... you cannot hide your emotions about this from them. You being upset about the lack of stability/predictability will come out around them and will affect them. Don't wait around for him to decide wtf he's doing. Take action.. please, for the mental he... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Aug 23

Grandmas 2x a week, daycare/school 3x a week... or cut out grandmas?

When my toddler will be 18 months, she will spend 3 days a week at daycare/school (tues/wed/thurs). And at home with mom Monday and MIL Friday. Currently she is at home full time with each grandma coming to my house. It’s been helpful because we can just run out of the house in the mornings, sometimes they cook, sometimes they fold laundry, and we get to check off the “see grandma” box and h... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 23

    Edited to add: I do pay the grandmas for their time, and I have anxiety over my kitchen (I’m going to therapy for it haha) and I hate coming home to what is essentially a daycare in my home, and the mess that comes with it. The grandmas eye sights aren’t as detailed as mine so I see every oil/water/drip drop mess!

Taking care of elderly while caring for baby

So my father has finally decided that my grandmother (his mother) needs to have herself checked out for dementia and what not. My father lives out of state and I am about 30mins away from my grandmother. Does anyone help take an elderly parent/grandparent to appointments, get groceries or anything else they might need with their little ones? My daughter is 13mo old so still requires a lot of at... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 16

    I don't have much advice to give with taking your little one with. But I have had to go through the process of getting my grandma diagnosed with dementia, and everything that goes along with it and I would urge you to pressure your father for help. If she has it, her abilities will dwindle and her needs will increase, and someone, if not you, will have to be prepared to support her. It was ... More

  • Espy
    Aug 19

    I actually take care of my mom and both of my kids , she’s diagnosed with a couple things but the thing that helps me is the in home care services & obviously scheduling appointments as best as I can , getting meds delivered to home and any other equipment

Anonymous posted in Family Life Aug 08

Storing digital photos

I am constantly running out of storage on my computer with the number of ‘I don’t want to miss capturing this moment’ photos of my toddler. I am wary of external storage drives- would welcome recommendations on how best to keep a secure copy of these photos!

  • Sara
    Aug 16

    We back up our computer to external hard drives, and upload our favorite things to SmugMug, a photo site that prof photographers use. You have to pay an annual fee, but I really like the quality of prints from them (have had poor quality from other online photo places in the past). I also print an annual photo book each Christmas- one for us and ones for grandparents. I’m worried about only sto... More

  • Sara
    Aug 16

    I’m curious about ideas for preserving videos- with iPhones, we end up taking tons of short videos of cute moments. What how do you compile and store those?

Lena posted in Education Aug 07

Grad school with kids

Starting grad school this September and I have a 2 yo. Any tips from parents / caregivers who have had to balance a home life with school commitments?

  • Anonymous
    Aug 08

    When I was in grad school, I had friends with small children. It seemed like organization was the key to success, as well as childcare with flexible hours or a spouse willing to do more at night so they could study/get projects done late at night. I’m not sure how possible this is, and it’s going to sound a sexist, but most of my female friends in grad school with small children had a mom/mil/c... More

  • E
    Aug 09

    I think it depends on the graduate school you are attending. Not all masters/PhD programs are the same rigor. I did a medical field grad program in my late 20’s. I would have struggled with that one while having a child. Now, in my 30’s I’m a mom, working and taking an online program to advance my licensure. This program is doable with no extra support as it’s on line and low stress/self paced.... More

Threats from grandparents

Hello everyone. I just wanted to tell my whole story and get opinions from others. Please be nice. This is a tough time for me. I had my first son at 19 and we lived with my parents for about 5 years until I moved out, married my husband and now have two more children with him. My oldest is now 10 and we just moved back to the same state as them after living on the other side of the country for... More

  • K
    Jul 25

    You are in no way wrong. Doesn’t matter who they had over, if you feel uncomfortable it’s your right to take your child out of the situation. I know how sensitive family ties can be; I’m sorry that you have been threatened for making a choice as a mother. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do for everyone is take a break until the issues can be resolved without the kids involved. I hope your par... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 08

    Oh nooo. I’m so sorry. I’d stop allowing any overnights and even day visits. Your parents cannot make decisions for your child. You’re the parent now, not them. I’d tell them that until they can respect your rules and boundaries they can’t have alone time with your kids. Also, please be careful about letting them make decisions for your child. The only incident where grandparents rights apply i... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jul 09

F bomb

My husband curses quite a bit. he didn’t before or I didn’t really notice it before we had kids. I tell him not around the kids and he says it’s just a word. Now my 16 month old drops the f bomb 🙃 any advice

  • PK
    Jul 10

    Ignore it... or redirect and correct him with another word... “do you mean truck?!?” And hold up a toy truck. It’s just a word that can get them in trouble at school. I always tell my husband that if our son gets in trouble for his words at school then he gets to go in for that teacher conference. Since then he’s been doing a bit better. I also glare at him when he says a bad word... and it h... More

  • Destin
    Aug 24

    I have told my husband since our daughter was born...please watch the language around the baby...she will pick up what we say...and guess who is going to school when we get that phone call?!? It’s not gonna be me!! Lol once they don’t get a big reaction like they want from the word they will prob forget it even exists, but that’s only if they don’t keep hearing it again and again. Maybe he coul... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jul 05

Family/friends gatherings, outings

I want to start off by saying that im a sahm and my husband does all the parenting stuff and he is a great parent and loving husband and we are in a great place in our relationship albeit with our own shortcomings. He chages diapers, feeds the baby (20 month old only child), puts her to bed etc whenever he has time/can. But when we are out or we have people over, especially multiple families, i... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 12

    I'm going to read that book. Thanks for all the suggestions. I thought a lot about this after I posted. I realized, I do nit pick. I am going to try not to. For all the ladies who said or who have their husbands share chores/duties etc, What kind of stuff do you start off with ? I want to start with something that I can resist micromanaging.

I love my children but hate my life

I have two young daughter 30 months and 2 months old. The transition to number two is a struggle. I catch myself everyday crying and don’t know what to do. Don’t get me wrong imnt a bad mom actually everyone thinks i rock motherhood but no one seems to care about my struggles. My 1st is very stubborn and won’t listen to me she hits me and won’t say sorry or if we go to the park she won’t follow... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jun 26

    I bet giving the two year old more power will help. I know it seems horrible to let your child wear warm clothes in hot weather, but just throw shorts and a T-shirt in the diaper bag, and let her wear what she wants. My guess is her behavior stems from Feeling powerless so the more you can let her make the choices the better she’ll be. Ask yourself before setting a limit why you are doing it an... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jun 26

    Also all that being said, it is so hard and overwhelming and easy to lose yourself. I feel like that often. I’ve found that reclaiming a few of my interests or passions in a limited/modified basis has helped a lot. I do volunteer work that is remote and very flexible that gives me intellectual stimulation. I do workouts at the park whenever one is playing nicely just to get one in. This one is... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior May 31

I’m so tired of fighting with my 3 year old every time we go out to eat

I used to love going out to restaurants with my family but now I hate it! I never want to go anywhere to sit down and eat because yes miserable for me and my son cause he doesn’t want to eat anything so the whole time we’re out is spent with me trying to get him to try something or trying to keep him entertained so he doesn’t get bored and upset I hate it! I don’t get to eat I get anxiety and g... More

  • Gean
    Jun 06

    From reading these I guess Im the only one that had a mother that said, "If you dont like what I cooked, you can go with out"! I realize that that is harder when you go out, because there might be a scene. But trust me, The more you do it at home, the sooner the point will be made and understood. This is first hand experience here.

  • Nana
    Jun 08

    Make sure meal times at home are scheduled. Same rules go for restaurant behavior as home. Set the timer at home he doesn’t get up till the timer goes off. If you make food a stress he will also have anxiety over food. Relax enjoy the meal and conversation. Offer foods but don’t make it a battle.

Jade posted in Adoption May 31

Karli, a Sesame Street character in foster care

Did anyone hear about this? So great to see some representation of non-traditional home life on TV. Hopefully, this will open up some dialogue and help to remove some of the stigmas associated with kids in the foster care system. Yay Sesame Street! 🙌🏼 https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/05/20/entertainment/sesame-street-karli-foster-care/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ca%2F

  • Mrs. HHH
    Jun 24

    This Is The Best! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 The most vulnerable children in society need a voice in the mainstream dialogue

  • anonymous mom
    Jul 26

    Beautiful.

All inclusive holiday

Looking for any recommendations for an all inclusive holiday! Looking for a week away where kids can have their own time (1yr old & 4 yr old) and my husband and I can have some time alone.. with wine.

  • T
    May 30

    I’m not sure your 1yo will be allowed at the kids clubs on cruises. I thought most started at 3yo & potty trained to be left at inclusive resorts...

Dads & Moms and Teamwork

There's a mom & dad that are tag teaming their 3 & 1 year-old on our flight, & it's adorable! The dad managed to get seated in a row with the two kids, the mom stayed further back. The kids are super adorbs & the mom's taking each them for walks when she can. Meanwhile, the dad's hanging out with the other kid (kids when the seatbelt sign's on). It's super-fun to see all the teamwork!

Anonymous posted in Family Life May 17

MIL issues. (Long rant, sorry!!!!)

My MIL has never ever liked me. From day 1 she had already made up her mind about me and has refused to get to know me or even try to be nice. She constantly puts me down and makes me feel useless because I am a SAHM. She feels as if I’m ‘not going anywhere in life’ and that I’m just ‘spending all her sons money’. Ever since our daughter was born she constantly has something to say about how I’... More

  • Anonymous
    May 20

    Girl. My mother is Law is the SAME WAY. She tries to tell me to "put socks on him" or "well you need to just let him do this or that " and my son is 10mo old and she CONSTANTLY tries bully me into letting him spend the night at her house, without me. When we are out somewhere she will take my son from me and will refuse to give him back. I loose my shit. I try to tell her s... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Excuse my language, but holy shit. She needs to be put in her place. Immediately. And your husband needs to be the one to do it, but if he won’t then it’s you who will have to. I’d first cease all visits. All of them. Especially when you’re not around, she’s going to talk poorly about you in front of your baby. That’s NOT okay. I’d second pull her access to your bank accounts. Mommy dearest... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life May 16

Commute or move

Currently live in a town that we love with great schools, great walkable downtown, and our family is all within a few mins, but spouse is taking a job that is only 18 miles away, but the commute is about an hour because of awful traffic. He wants to move so we are within 5 mins of his office, and the schools are actually even better there, but it’s not the same feel. I love our town and it’s wh... More

  • Anonymous
    May 20

    Yeah...it’s one thing if it’s back roads or something but we are stuck dealing w only 1 major highway that is always congested. Totally feel your pain! Although Colorado Springs is beautiful!

  • Anonymous
    Jul 24

    Hi there. I would move. Two hours of commuting per day because of traffic is my life and I hate it. If we could find a similar home closer to work we’d move. We are watching and waiting for the right opportunity.

Anonymous posted in Family Life May 10

2 under 2?

Hey all! Was wondering some tips and tricks you had for having 2 under 2. My daughter is 5.5 months and we just found out we’re having another baby! Which means she’ll be about 14 months when our next one is born. I’ve heard it’s harder to go from 1 baby to 2, and just wanted advice on how to handle it, what to expect and what I can do to make it a little easier on everyone. Any and all answers... More

  • Ashley
    May 10

    Baby wearing was a must for me! It made doing everything with my older son that much easier. Try to go with the flow and just know some days will be harder than others. It is all worth it when you see them interact and play with each other.

  • Kieli
    May 11

    Well I just started ... I have a 1 week old and a 23 month old (so she’s close to 2 already, a little older). But my oldest has really been having a hard time at night. She doesn’t fall asleep until 11 or 12 every night which is horrible on me and makes me want to cry! I’m hoping she will come out of it, and start sleeping by herself again. She loves the baby, and wants to be with her all the t... More

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