Learn about navigating your relationship with your mother-in-law, father-in-law and other members of your spouse's family.

55 things grandparents should never do

How do I nicely have my mom and my MIL read this? And translate into their respective language? 😂😂😂 it would help with me needing to go to therapy 😂😂

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Oct 20

Feeling obligated to spend time with in laws

SO works a ton, and otherwise sadly doesn’t appreciate quality family time, he is always either working or really tired. I stay at home with the kids but work part time remotely, and his parents always reach out to me reminding me how they are retired and can help babysit or will say you should go do this so we can come over and watch the kids. For one, when they come over they stay for hours s... More

Mike posted in In-Laws Oct 17

Problem need advice

My father in law wants to watch my 3 year old daughter for a weekend to spend time with her. The problem is, I don’t feel comfortable with that. I just don’t trust him for some reason. Don’t get me wrong, my daughter always gets excited to see her grandpa, but I have my reasons and we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. He also seems to have a grudge against me. So my question is: Am I wro... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 17

    A gut feeling is a gut feeling... if that’s what you’re saying is why you don’t trust him. Some times gut feelings are right and some times they’re wrong. Could you maybe have him watch her while you’re close by? Maybe work to develop some trust or figure out exactly what it is about him that doesn’t make you comfortable? It just might be helpful to have more than just a gut feeling as an expla... More

  • Jacky
    Oct 17

    I agree with the previous comment, try and figure out what it is that makes you feel like that against him that way you’ll have a reason rather than just saying you don’t want to. If I were in your situation and my husband told me this I would simply ask why and expect valid reasons.

Allergic to my mil

I mean, it’s either that or a pure coincidence that upon her arrival for the long weekend I began sneezing incessantly, eyes were watering, and I finally had to pop some Benadryl. 😂😱

  • anonymous mom
    Oct 12

    It was mostly a joke, but she is a walking perfume advertisement 😆🤦‍♀️

  • cocomac
    Oct 13

    My mil also loves strong perfume. I smell her for a couple days at my house after she leaves. I considered asking her not to wear such strong perfumes as it could hurt the baby 😂 but I now also immediately wash my baby if she smells like mil... I don’t need an olfactory memory of her whenever I hold my baby!!!

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Oct 08

I am so disappointed with my husband

We have a 2yo daughter, and we’re also expecting our 2nd. We currently live with his father. His sister lives in the same neighborhood. Recently our daughter has become super picky and selective with her meals. She’ll easily skip lunch, snacks and dinner. As you can imagine I’m super stressed and have been considering taking her to see her pediatrician. I’ve noticed that my husband’s family is ... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 08

    I think it's a man thing. they just really easily seem to glaze over details.... like pants and shoes! It doesn't end here unless you take time to have a serious discussion with your husband and let him know how stressed and worried you are and that you need to be able to rely on him. Make her the doctors appointment and tell the in-laws some of the "healthy eating habits" you... More

  • HR
    Nov 09

    You could give your husband an ultimatum—“You tell your family, or I will.” It’s also possible that he could be telling them, but they just won’t listen to him; either way, you might have to be the one to speak up. Your husband will need to back you 110% on everything though. For example, my family won’t listen to me (about anything, honestly), but if my husband says something they’re more li... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Oct 08

Can’t sleep. MIL pissed me off again!

My MIL watches my child 2x a week (my mom the other 3x). I was telling my best friend that the last week, I haven’t hated waking up to seeing my MIL in my house!!! I even made conversation, kind of. Applause all around!!! Then, she goes and pissed me off again. We are out for lunch with BIL/gf/MIL, and I have child next to me cornered on one side of the table. MIL is across from child. “Fin... More

  • Luis
    Oct 08

    Yes... maybe... does it matter? You have the right to your feelings, they are yours, it’s just a question of how you deal with it. When it comes to protecting your kid, go with your gut and always err on the side of precaution. If you feel it ain’t right, it ain’t right. Remember, when it comes to to our kids, you only owe explanations to the other parent, it’s no one else’s business.

  • Nikki

    Literally MIL tried this when my LO was extremely young and I explained myself probably not in the best way possible but my son is my son and if he gets sick or something I’m the one stuck with a fussy baby not them. You and your SO are responsible for your child. Speak up and allow them to hear you. And if they don’t hear you make them HEAR YOU. In laws are truly something else... more so mot... More

Anonymous posted in Flying Oct 03

Trip without mom

When was the first time your kiddo took a trip without you? My MIL has been insisting she take our 2 year old to California (1.5 hour flight) to visit my brother in law for a weekend..... I don’t know how I feel about it?? Part of me knows of course he’d have fun at the beach all day, but then that distance is kinda far without momma in a strange place.

  • Aya
    Oct 10

    I agree, I think it depends on your son's relationship with the MIL. If your MIL is used to being with him, taking care of him, I say go for it. The first time I left my child with my parents (not MIL) was in Tokyo, when he was 4. He stayed with them for a week. We dropped him off and then we picked him up (he did not miss us much - ha). The first time he flew solo with my parents was... More

  • Angel
    Oct 14

    My dad keeps trying to take my daughter an hour drive away and my answer is still NOOOOOO

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Aug 31

Child’s father’s mom

Now my child’s father’s mom been in my son’s life since he was two . With the birth and etc.. but now I think she is becoming too pushy and thinking she knows how to raise him how she wants to raise him . For example my son had a meeting about his speech . This lady was like taking over the whole conversation. Like saying my son does this and that and I know he didn’t . And also she is just to... More

  • Monda
    Sep 01

    Your not being too much it gets really annoying when a family member thinks that they are the parent of your child and that’s their job not yours!! My mom does the same thing and she thinks she can tell me what to do and what not to do with my kid and it irks me so much so I really get it! I hope it gets better for you before you lash out on someone

MIL doesn’t date, her son told her “not to”

My MIL is single/divorced (despite whatever weird relationship is going on with her ex-husband... I won’t go into details lol). During a tumultuous time in their life, my husband had to step up and become the adult early on in his life. He always said, “you don’t date or marry anyone, no one will treat you well” as a means of protecting/loving his single mom. They were very close for a while u... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 31

    How long has she been single? Has she already been obsessing over your child? Is your husband the biological father? Asking all this because it based on what you said, it sounds like your MIL has been single for a while and I’m making the assumption that your husband is the biological father of your 1 year old (info provided next to your name). So wouldn’t you know if she would obsess over th... More

  • cocomac
    Sep 02

    Yes biological father and she has been single for a long time. She is hugely obsessive and lives for any and all attention. She works part time and has friends she sees so that’s good. I’m still wondering if she’s actually holding back dating due to what my husband said. Eventually her other son will move out.. and she could get lonely.. I guess it’s. A Lesson learned. If I was her. I would be... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Aug 23

Grandmas 2x a week, daycare/school 3x a week... or cut out grandmas?

When my toddler will be 18 months, she will spend 3 days a week at daycare/school (tues/wed/thurs). And at home with mom Monday and MIL Friday. Currently she is at home full time with each grandma coming to my house. It’s been helpful because we can just run out of the house in the mornings, sometimes they cook, sometimes they fold laundry, and we get to check off the “see grandma” box and h... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 23

    Edited to add: I do pay the grandmas for their time, and I have anxiety over my kitchen (I’m going to therapy for it haha) and I hate coming home to what is essentially a daycare in my home, and the mess that comes with it. The grandmas eye sights aren’t as detailed as mine so I see every oil/water/drip drop mess!

Shay posted in In-Laws Jul 29

Am I overreacting

I get very bad anxiety when my in-laws watch the baby (they are in their 70’s). Despite the wAy that I feel I let them watch the baby (10 months old) anyway, and before I left the house I forgot to turn the stove off. During the 2 hours that I wAs gone no one noticed not even my husband. It wasn’t on high and nothing was really on it except the very edge of the pan, and the chicken got burnt a... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 31

    Overreacting because you can be equally blamed. Ex : " Shouldnt you be more careful with turning off appliances? A fire could have started and your child could have gotten severely injured or worse". Not sure anybody would turn it on you but, just in case. Nobody was hurt. Saying something will lead to an unnecessary fight.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    I get being anxious about leaving your child with your in laws. My daughter will never be alone with mine and I don’t care how many feelings I hurt. Having said that, you cannot blame them for this. You missed it yourself and it is scary but it happens. Just try to be more careful in the future.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jul 05

Super anxious about tomorrow

MIL asked to baby sit, we have a 16 month old and 5 month old. Both require a lot of attention and can get jealous too. She wants to take them too the zoo, (it’s super hot outside so I told her I can add her to our aquarium pass for a day, she still insisted on zoo, and the forecast shows thunderstorm all this week) we asked if anyone else was gonna go with her (her fiancé, etc) she said no it’... More

  • Stay-At-Home Dan
    Jul 08

    Sometimes we have to just be upfront and let them know that somethings are not up for discussion. Simple as that.

  • Anonymous
    Aug 08

    So I don’t mean to be a jerk, but she won’t take no for an answer because you let her walk all over you. My mil tries to tell me she’s babysitting or that she is taking my daughter to her house for the night. And she tries to say she won’t take no for an answer. I just Lol at her. My daughter, my rules. No one makes decisions for my child without my full consent. Good luck.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jul 03

To give or not to give?

We recently moved into a gated community, you need either a decal or stop at the front gate (who then call us) to enter. My husband wants to give a decal to his family so they can come and go as the like I would prefer not to. I’m not even giving it to my family. I really like the privacy and notice it would give us. Plus sometimes they (both mine and his) like to pop in this way they can’t and... More

  • Jess
    Jul 05

    My parents have our garage door code in case they ever need to get in but not a sticker for our community gate... for us it is not allowed to give to non residents as no point in a gated community if everyone can give out a decal to whomever.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Uh, no. This defeats the purpose of living in a gated community 😂😂. I have to say I’m a bit jealous. I now want to live in a gated community and I want to make sure my mil has to request access through a security company who would contact me. The less I see or speak to her the better. This would solve so many problems. Hahahahaha.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 14

MIL living in the 70s/vent

I just need to vent somewhere, and this is the only place to do so because I don’t want to tell my husband because it is indeed his mother. I can’t tell my parents because they will be furious and cause more drama. And I can’t tell my friends because that would be like dissing my own family. Just as a background. My hubby and I were born and raised in Asia and have in laws that are a bit more... More

  • Ali
    Aug 26

    This sounds like a no win situation. Be glad they cannot visit again for a long time!

Anonymous posted in Babies Jun 13

Ugh worst nightmare - baby turned away from me and into MIL arms

My MIL triggered me during my maternity leave when I asked to hold my baby (I let her/she took my baby from me as soon as I was done nursing) and the look on her face said it all. Her face said “wait, what? You want to hold your own child? How dare you ask that”. Before I even married my husband, she said multiple times “I’m going to spoil your child so much they won’t want to go home with you... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 21

    My LO does that to us to with my mom. Whether it be in law or parents that’s a very hurtful thing. I hate when they say they’re going to spoil my kids so they’d rather stay there. It may seem trivial but why would you want to do something 1. Isn’t good for the child just because it may make them happy, spoiling is not good! 2. Wanna do something so the child doesn’t wanna go to the parents. A... More

  • anonymous mom
    Jul 25

    So first, your mil is an ass. She shouldn’t keep doing something she knows will hurt you, the mother, just so she can delight in it. I would be very tempted and reactionary and may tell her I’m considering daycare at a center just because you know the teachers won’t treat you so badly. I have a horrible relationship with my mil anyway though so this would just push me over the edge. Having s... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 10

Trouble with in-laws

So tonight my husband went to his dads house to have dinner, i ended up staying home since i wasn’t feeling too great. I told him to take our daughter with him since I know my FIL loves to see her. So about an hour and a half they come back home and i ask him how dinner was. He says it was great! And that his grandma was there as well. He also mentioned that they gave our daughter those yogurt ... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 10

Out of town or state trip with grandparent

This was an argument for me and dh today and I was just wondering how other people view it. Both my mom and mil have asked to take my one year old out of state (without us/me) and I have said no to both. My husband is upset I said no to his mom. So fellow parents what’s your opinion on it? Out of town vs out of state. Or overnights with either your parent of SO’s parent/in law. At what age? Etc.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 12

    I let MIL have them overnight finally one day and my one yr old stayed up till 5 crying and not once did they call us, I reasoned it with they probably didn’t wanna bug us but they should’ve. My mom at least face times when lo gets upset and starts to say mama or da and if she isn’t calm tell us to come get them if we want.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Hell. No.

I dont trust my bf mom to be alone with my baby.. Any suggestions???

My boyfriend and I have a daughter who is now 4 months old, I do not trust anyone alone with my baby except my mom/ family. I’m a first time mom & I breastfeed my daughter. My boyfriend’s mom keeps pushing for alone time with my daughter, Which i do go in and out of the room but to ana extent. We have gone to his house and I noticed this calendar in the kitchen and his mom will be charting ... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Not the only one. Luckily my husband agrees: my mom can babysit. His mom can visit and one of us must be present at all times. That’s it.

  • Kisha
    Nov 02

    I think a woman intuition is always accurate so therefore go with your instincts sweetie God bless you always.

Trust issues. Am I over reacting or no?

Heya lovely people. So I’m a couple of weeks away from having my first child and I have major trust issues with my partners family. I come from a very strong minded woman based family, and my partners family is more the man is the more important role. I’ve had major issues with his family based on different views and how things should be. His family have never liked me based on this. It’s ev... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 01

    I don’t know think you are overreacting; if they can’t be nice to you, how they going to treat your kiddo. You are the mother and it should be how you want it to be regarding your kiddo. She would be to young to be spending the night at grandmas; as they interact with her while you are there, you can change your mind. Since, you said your partner’s family views males as more important; how woul... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 09

    You’re completely right to not trust them. You don’t need your child growing up with the mind F... of having grandparents and dads family talking crap about you to them. And you can bet your tush that’s exactly what will happen. Sine your husband comes from such a misogynistic family, does he share their beliefs or yours?? Hopefully he will be on your side and will agree and stick up for you... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life May 17

MIL issues. (Long rant, sorry!!!!)

My MIL has never ever liked me. From day 1 she had already made up her mind about me and has refused to get to know me or even try to be nice. She constantly puts me down and makes me feel useless because I am a SAHM. She feels as if I’m ‘not going anywhere in life’ and that I’m just ‘spending all her sons money’. Ever since our daughter was born she constantly has something to say about how I’... More

  • Anonymous
    May 20

    Girl. My mother is Law is the SAME WAY. She tries to tell me to "put socks on him" or "well you need to just let him do this or that " and my son is 10mo old and she CONSTANTLY tries bully me into letting him spend the night at her house, without me. When we are out somewhere she will take my son from me and will refuse to give him back. I loose my shit. I try to tell her s... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Excuse my language, but holy shit. She needs to be put in her place. Immediately. And your husband needs to be the one to do it, but if he won’t then it’s you who will have to. I’d first cease all visits. All of them. Especially when you’re not around, she’s going to talk poorly about you in front of your baby. That’s NOT okay. I’d second pull her access to your bank accounts. Mommy dearest... More

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