In-Laws

Learn about navigating your relationship with your mother-in-law, father-in-law and other members of your spouse's family.

Julieann posted in In-Laws Feb 12

Am I being crazy?

So I don’t know if this should be a big thing or not or it might just be my hormones. But I am almost 5 months pregnant and have yet to announce my pregnancy to my whole family & friends. That being said, the only people that do know are just immediate family members on my side and my boyfriend’s side. I haven’t broadcast my pregnancy to my uncles or aunts yet, let alone any friends or any... More

  • Meaghan
    Feb 13

    I would be upset. I told a handful of close family and friends about mine but I waited to announce until i knew gender. It was important for me in case something went wrong early on, plus I didnt want the 1001 questions from extended family. If someone else had jumped the gun and started telling people i would have been very upset and felt that they broke my trust. Its YOURS to tell. Possibly o... More

  • Taylor
    Feb 16

    you have every right momma congrats on the pregnancy!

Jessica posted in In-Laws Feb 06

Family social media posts

So my husbands family likes to posts pictures of our daughter on social media, which I actually have a huge problem with (that’s 700+ strangers per family member) but I let it go. But they constantly post pictures portraying our daughter as my husbands sisters child, caption and all, implying she belongs to my sister-in-law, and they DO NOT correct people when they comment. They actively crop m... More

  • Sarah
    Feb 07

    Have you talked to your sister in law about it? It doesn’t sound she’s taking part of all this drama, so I’m curious how she feels about all of it. Would imagine she might be hurt that her family is trying to project a different life for her, showing the world what they wish her life was. If she’s upset about it too, she might be better able to stop the behavior than you. And if not, at least ... More

  • Julieann
    Feb 12

    This is exactly how my in-laws are. My sister in law goes around telling people that my son is her son and no matter how many times I talk to my in-laws and bf they don’t listen to me at all. And now I am almost 5 months pregnant and my in-laws are already claiming that my baby is there’s. My sister in law claims that as well due to all of their sibling looking alike. My son came out looking li... More

Anonymous posted in Food & Cooking Feb 05

Feeding issues - picky eater

Long story short, our daughter has some weight gain issues at 15 months and my mother in law moved in for the next month. We’ve been told to try not to make meals “about the baby” and stare at her and clap when she eats etc... While it’s cute and clapping make she smile and she claps as well this could also being causing more issues since she is like on display or performing. I know it’s amaz... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 05

    @ Julie... thanks! Yes, our daughter is home with us but we are hoping to do meal play dates since she liked to watch other babies. She really enjoys it! I think I’ll be looser with the idea of cheering with meals as I know she gets happy and loves to clap and be playful with us all. I just need to adjust to having a MIL living with us for a month... small house, limited time alone with me ... More

  • A
    Feb 05

    Ultimately you are the parent and have the right to raise your child as you please. Maybe gently (or if need be add some firmness) talk with MIL and express that you want to teach your daughter that meal time is for family to interact and not just fun and games

Anonymous posted in Family Life Feb 05

I abhor my mil

I can never escape a conversation unscathed. She talks about a lot to seem polite but I always anticipate the insult because 9/10 times it is layered in there... I've tried to avoid talking to her or even having to see her but it seems I can't get away from this Petty manipulative woman. I've allowed my son to go over for one weekend each month. And even then I try to limit my... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 05

    You can always just send your son with his father to grandma’s house. That way u r not depriving them and you don’t have to see her. If she or your boyfriend can’t handle your son themselves then no reason to see grandma tat much.

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Jan 15

Mother in Law drama. Trying to parent over us?? PLEASE HELP!

WARNING: LONG POST BUT I'M DESPERATE Hey Mommies! (& Daddies) My hubby and I have 3 kiddos, 1 baby boy in common (6mo.) & He has 2 children from a previous marriage 8 yr old boy and 10yr old girl. My stepkids mother would never let the kids go to their Gmas house and they never got alone time with her. Which I honestly think is ridiculous. When I became pregnant I told my MIL that ... More

  • Lily
    Jan 24

    First don't feel like you need to take the kids to see her all the time. Also, don't let her over to your house all the time. Don't let her talk you into letting the baby stay with her, he is yours and she has no right to keep him for the night. Also, we had the same problem with my mother in law and grmadma in law....we would be out shopping and they would just take the baby withou... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 24

    Thank you all so much! I appreciate all the input and advice. I really thought I was just being ridiculous but I’m so happy to hear that other women feel the same way.

Cathy posted in In-Laws Jan 15

Help with my Mother-in-law

Let me preface this by saying I have a 2 year old son. Since before he was born, my MIL has always said, “You look tired,” “You must be tired,” or “Are you tired.” Whenever she sees me she makes this type of comment. My husband has talked to her about it, and she has still continued to make those statements. Over the weekend, we drove two hours into the mountains to see my in-laws. My son di... More

  • Kelly
    Jan 21

    It's difficult to tell if she's trying to be sympathetic or passive aggressive. I am not sure of the nature of your relationship with your MIL, whether or not you two are close or not. If my MIL made that comment to me multiple times, I would take it that she thinks that I am overwhelmed by parenthood or something. My interpretation would be negative because my MIL has made comments bef... More

  • XinHua
    Jan 23

    simply respond her "I'm phenomenal & fabulous. Thanks for your concern, but no thanks, please mind your own affair!" Then do not acknowledge her remarks afterwards.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 10

Baby’s name online

We will tell my mother in law to not post our baby’s full name online and she’ll listen ... for the time being. Then she does it again. I don’t know why she has to put her full name on Facebook but it’s really bothering me. Family knows her name so why does she have to always put it out there in every comment. I seriously wish she didn’t have a Facebook so I didn’t have to worry about my child... More

  • Christa
    Jan 15

    Though I agree with Tyler in some perspectives, yes, there are much bigger things to worry about with how our children this day in age, I also believe and feel that the request to NOT have my child put on social media (full names, pictures, etc.) is also INCREDIBLY important. With what is happening this day in age with kids getting killed, kidnapped by association to parents due to grievances w... More

  • Tyler
    Jan 15

    I think social media leads us to believe kidnappings etc. are happening at a faster rate than other times in history. Multiple polls that I have seen show actual crime rates declining. I get the frustration and I don’t believe the child is in any more danger with or without it. I would be cautious not to react to something and strain a relationship with a loved one over something like that... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Jan 09

MIL wants to stay overnight too much

Hello All, Looking for some advice. Background: My in laws live at the beach, which is about 3 hours away from where my husband and I (and kids) live. My husband and I live in a bigger city, which means that the major airport and hospitals are located here. Every time that my in laws travel they come stay the night at our house since their flights are typically early in the morning and they d... More

  • Amanda
    Jan 09

    This is super tough. Totally understand how this is making you crazy. And also understand how it’s a delicate situation with your FIL. What does your husband think about this? If it’s going to be addressed, he should be the one to do so and to provide them the help on figuring out an alternative. Maybe it’s that they’re to overwhelmed with your FILs condition to think about anything else right ... More

Cheryl posted in Holidays Jan 01

Christmas gift with strings attached

My husbands grandfather gives his grandchildren $100 every year for Christmas. Since marrying his grandson, I have been included in that. This year, he asked everyone to tell him what we spend it on. I asked my husband why and the reason he gave me was “He likes feeling useful.” I’m a little grumpy about this ‘gift’. It feels like he gave money to all his grandkids so that HE could feel good. ... More

  • Cheryl
    Jan 03

    Thank you Christa. That’s exactly how I feel. I have since asked several other people in my family and they all agree that it’s just a way he wants to have control over people. The family dynamic I married into is ‘grandpa is right now matter what and nobody can argue with him’. It’s very irritating being the only one to see that in the end, he is just a person and he’s not perfect.

  • Robin
    Jan 12

    We send MIL a note thanking her for the “pedi-mani” or facial or something that would be indulgent for you and satisfy their wishes. I think he’s probably just wants a way to remain a part of everyone’s life- and keeps him in touch with you all.

Is it normal?

Does the In-Laws buy Christmas present for you? Is it bad if they don’t buy you anything? My husband family doesn’t buy me gifts but buys his brothers wife gifts. My family buys him gifts.

  • Sonia
    Jan 25

    First, stop buying them gifts - if you can buy them something and not feel bad not receiving something- that would be one thing. Sounds like you buy and get resentful when you don’t receive anything. Means love yourself enough to stop trying to gain their approval. If they don’t buy anything for your children- then don’t take your children over there either. Why put your family in a place ... More

  • Holly Garnett-Pedreira
    Thursday

    I couldn't have said it better Sonia!!!

Anonymous posted in Faith & Religion Dec 20

Dilemma between spouse and parent (holiday)

Back story: I’m pretty much an agnostic but converted to my DH’s faith and we raise our LO in the faith. Now with Christmas coming up my mom has been asking us what we wanted. DH never replied to it and now recently said he can’t take x mas presents and they shouldn’t get LO presents either. But my mom has already bought us stuff so he said to give it as end of the year gifts or New Years gif... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 23

    Is your DH jehovah witnesses? I have family who is and I know they don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter. They usually take their kids to buy a new toy or two after Christmas. It’s not from Santa it’s just from the store. I think your mom is over stepping with the whole Santa thing since your DH and you have both decided to raise your kids in his faith she needs to respect that. End of the year g... More

  • Robin
    Jan 12

    Can I just remind everyone that Santa and the Easter Bunny are not “religious” so use them the way that’s best for your family. Also if they are in school and can’t actually celebrate whatever holiday party the kids are having- let them be the “photographer” so they’re not participating but they’re not ostracized either. Last - there’s always “fall fest”, “Holyween” or some other semantic phr... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 19

Dealing with In-Laws

Y’all I’m being put through the ringer. All seriousness, I have no idea what to do. It’s to the point I’m so stressed out I deleted my Facebook so his family can’t contact me. We moved up to Cameron in July, we just had our baby back in November and the bills are starting to pile up. The other day we got our electric shut off and didn’t have the money to have it re connected so I had to call on... More

  • Christa
    Dec 19

    Okay, so I’ve literally been thinking about this for hours, and I can up with this as the advice I can give you!!!! I do have a couple suggestions that perhaps might help- there are resources available that helps with electricity, and the like called NeighborImpact. They work with your power company and pay like 90-95 percent of the bill leaving you with next to nothing to swing- this is dep... More

  • Brianne
    Dec 20

    I don’t know how you communicate with them but when I took over family communication with the in laws things got better. My husband didn’t even realize that th way he was saying things-simply throwing my name in with a negative decision or him not explaining the whole decision making process was making me look like a witch and that I was trying to keep our son from them. When I reached out to ... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Dec 13

Attention hogs - I can’t deal

First off for background, I’m the opposite of attention. I don’t like attention. I also don’t like desperate people who like attention or do things just for attention. Now, that said, how does one deal with people who do things for attention??? It’s so blatant and everyone knows it. I literally ignore them. But it’s becoming every moment that I ignore them now, and it’s becoming tense, and... More

  • Michaela
    Dec 14

    Ok my mom is so like this and it drives me nuts. She tells the same stories over again that she thinks will get a reaction. It’s pretty annoying honestly. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I interrupt her and say “yeah you’ve told me before”. My best advice would just be to not give her the attention she wants. Let her sit there expecting it while you get busy doing something else (maybe e... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Dec 01

Pictures with Santa

My mother in law told me she wanted to go take a picture with her Santa my daughter and step son. Is that weird? Should I?

  • Anonymous
    Dec 03

    They are included in a lot of stuff. They have sleepovers every week if not twice some weeks. She’s over almost every other morning and we do Sunday dinners quiet often

  • Tyerra
    Dec 04

    Well if y’all do all that then it sounds like y’all are close so why not especially if she is paying lol

Ali posted in Family Life Nov 30

Holidays got me down

My husband always works on the holidays as does his sister and her husband. His family lives about an hour and a half away from us. We always try to see his side of the family for Christmas. My in-laws won’t plan something if his sister can’t be there, but his sister has the attitude of "if I work, I work, if I don’t I don’t." Do other people have this issue? To make matters w... More

  • Ali
    Dec 04

    Luckily my mom loves all her grandkids equally and puts family as #1. Not saying she is perfect but she is great in this regard. Unfortunately my in laws remind me of my grandma who definitely had favorites and uneven treatment was common. Maybe this is why my mom is so great with this issue and I am sensitive about it. I don’t want my kids to feel how my siblings and I did growing up. I... More

  • Jessica
    Dec 13

    Everyone has such great advice on here. Your heart is so in the right place and I think I’d feel the same way you do. My in laws are alcoholics and only care to play with my kids (their only grandchildren) in between a few cocktails, and we even live in a different state than them. Try, try, try not to take it personally. Maybe start a new family tradition just you and your husband and kids. (B... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 22, 2018

🤦🏾‍♀️ Family issues

I’m just so irritated. I don’t even know what to do. His family are in doubt that he is the father of my child. His father and I know for sure he is biological father to my son. I have not slept with anyone but him. His family goes on and on about I don’t think he is yours. So they all want DNA proof. Why should we get one when we know for sure he’s the dad? His oldest brother still in doubt bu... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 28

    If you know and he knows then who cares what his family thinks. I dealt with this with my son his dad kept telling him to get a DNA test because at the time we weren’t married. We never got one and my son looks exactly like his dad. I wouldn’t stoop to their level

  • Shelley
    Tuesday

    My FIL asked his son if he is “sure” our daughter was his when I was pregnant. I still today, 7 years later and with another child of his and married, still resent him for asking. It is insulting. I have tried to forgive, tried is the key word and I def can’t forget. I’m sorry you have more than one person questioning your child’s father. So rude and hurtful. Stay strong!

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Nov 22, 2018

How do you guys split holidays with family and in laws?

Especially with divorced parents too

  • Anonymous
    Dec 03

    I’d really like to do that, I get grandparents want all their kids over to their house for the holidays but I want to have our kids do it at our own place. It’s really hard when mil and fil are divorced we’re torn between three sets of grandparents

  • Jennifer
    Dec 28

    We used to run around thanksgiving & Christmas to my parents, his dad and his mom. Finally I just had enough. Since my family never seemed to have traditional thanksgiving food and that was a bigger holiday for his family to get together we now go to his grandma house with his his mom for thanksgiving. My parents are usually out of town visiting my aunt so we don’t do anything with them. Ch... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Nov 19, 2018

My husbands mom and grandma are mean girls, seriously though, what do I even do?

They’re constantly attacking my social media posts, literally just telling me I’m flat wrong when I’ve simply posted a parenting essay. When we visit, which is twice a month for several days (it’s a 3+ hour drive) they try to force me to let my baby cry. They will literally try block me from the room she is in, give me attitude when I pick her up, bitch at me about nursing her to sleep, tell me... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 02

    Yikes what monsters. My in-laws are very similar but do it more passively than this. They love mocking people’s weight and parenting style and choices. It’s bad. However, the biggest concern I see from your post is your husbands reaction. He needs to be on your side with this. If you feel attacked by his family, he needs to shut up and listen to you closely. He should also be able to talk to th... More

  • Lindsey
    Dec 20

    RUN. A husband that won’t defend you when you ask for boundaries. I’m sorry but I would ask for counseling with him, you and his baby are his priority.. . If he doesn’t I would seriously consider if it’s worth risking your mental health. And “family” SHOULD never name call like that, they are setting bad examples for your child in the future. That level of disrespect is giving me a headache. So... More

Holiday arrangements with different families

I have a 4month old baby boy and we are experiencing some cold cold weather! My boy hates being in layers and he’s teething, which makes for very busy days for mama and daddy. My question is how do you guys handle splitting up days with your families during the holidays? We have 3 families that celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas so we’re going to my grandparents Thanksgiving or staying h... More

  • Lily
    Nov 16, 2018

    Family is so hard! You have a 4 month old, life is all about them at that point. My baby was about 4 months for her first Christmas. We were moving so we weren’t with family at all.....and that made everyone very mad. For me, maybe see how Thanksgiving goes, and then see if you want to try for Christmas. It is so hard to do anything with such a little one outside your own home. So if you ar... More

  • Brittny
    Nov 18, 2018

    Thank you lily! I’ll try to do my best your right!

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 15, 2018

In laws sharing our news

So we’re expecting a little girl (so excited!!) but I’m pretty private, mostly due to anxiety, and we weren’t ready to share our news on social media as it’s still early. We told this to our parents but my mother in law is still sharing the news on Facebook. We have asked her multiple times to stop and not share as we haven’t even told some of our friends yet but she says, what I’m just excited... More

  • Erin
    Dec 01

    Definitely don't share any more pregnancy related information with her, as she has proven she can't be counted on to respect your wishes.

  • T
    Dec 28

    MIL are PITAs. Mine announced the birth of my daughter on Facebook before I even had a chance to tell my own mom and sisters. And one sister is on her friends list. I do not tell her anything anymore. At all. She can find out when we post or not at all.

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