Learn about navigating your relationship with your mother-in-law, father-in-law and other members of your spouse's family.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Thursday

Attention hogs - I can’t deal

First off for background, I’m the opposite of attention. I don’t like attention. I also don’t like desperate people who like attention or do things just for attention. Now, that said, how does one deal with people who do things for attention??? It’s so blatant and everyone knows it. I literally ignore them. But it’s becoming every moment that I ignore them now, and it’s becoming tense, and... More

  • Michaela

    Ok my mom is so like this and it drives me nuts. She tells the same stories over again that she thinks will get a reaction. It’s pretty annoying honestly. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I interrupt her and say “yeah you’ve told me before”. My best advice would just be to not give her the attention she wants. Let her sit there expecting it while you get busy doing something else (maybe e... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Dec 01

Pictures with Santa

My mother in law told me she wanted to go take a picture with her Santa my daughter and step son. Is that weird? Should I?

  • Anonymous
    Dec 03

    They are included in a lot of stuff. They have sleepovers every week if not twice some weeks. She’s over almost every other morning and we do Sunday dinners quiet often

  • Tyerra
    Dec 04

    Well if y’all do all that then it sounds like y’all are close so why not especially if she is paying lol

Ali posted in Family Life Nov 30

Holidays got me down

My husband always works on the holidays as does his sister and her husband. His family lives about an hour and a half away from us. We always try to see his side of the family for Christmas. My in-laws won’t plan something if his sister can’t be there, but his sister has the attitude of "if I work, I work, if I don’t I don’t." Do other people have this issue? To make matters w... More

  • Ali
    Dec 04

    Luckily my mom loves all her grandkids equally and puts family as #1. Not saying she is perfect but she is great in this regard. Unfortunately my in laws remind me of my grandma who definitely had favorites and uneven treatment was common. Maybe this is why my mom is so great with this issue and I am sensitive about it. I don’t want my kids to feel how my siblings and I did growing up. I... More

  • Jessica

    Everyone has such great advice on here. Your heart is so in the right place and I think I’d feel the same way you do. My in laws are alcoholics and only care to play with my kids (their only grandchildren) in between a few cocktails, and we even live in a different state than them. Try, try, try not to take it personally. Maybe start a new family tradition just you and your husband and kids. (B... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 22

🤦🏾‍♀️ Family issues

I’m just so irritated. I don’t even know what to do. His family are in doubt that he is the father of my child. His father and I know for sure he is biological father to my son. I have not slept with anyone but him. His family goes on and on about I don’t think he is yours. So they all want DNA proof. Why should we get one when we know for sure he’s the dad? His oldest brother still in doubt bu... More

  • Julie
    Nov 22

    😪. What a bunch of a holes! Sorry for the language! I would tell them they can pay for the DNA test and I would also tell them they just ruined your relationship with them and you’re not letting your child be alone with them, ever. EVER!!! They obviously think poorly of you and lord knows what they will say about you when you’re not there to defend yourself!!!

  • Lily
    Nov 24

    I would just stop talking to them and not let them see him until they give it up. Because it doesn’t matter and is definitely gone of their business. Don’t get the DNA test unless it is something you want. They have no say it that what so ever. Because that kind of thing is definitely something you don’t want them talking about as he gets older.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Nov 22

How do you guys split holidays with family and in laws?

Especially with divorced parents too

  • ACK
    Dec 03

    We alternate holidays each year and NEVER stray from the rotation. For now, we travel two hours to both sides. As our babies get older, we plan to extend invites to either side to come to us for Christmas...again, without straying from the rotation. We know we’ll be met with some resistance and grief about it. My husband and I want our boys to know Christmas morning in their own home!

  • Anonymous
    Dec 03

    I’d really like to do that, I get grandparents want all their kids over to their house for the holidays but I want to have our kids do it at our own place. It’s really hard when mil and fil are divorced we’re torn between three sets of grandparents

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Nov 19

My husbands mom and grandma are mean girls, seriously though, what do I even do?

They’re constantly attacking my social media posts, literally just telling me I’m flat wrong when I’ve simply posted a parenting essay. When we visit, which is twice a month for several days (it’s a 3+ hour drive) they try to force me to let my baby cry. They will literally try block me from the room she is in, give me attitude when I pick her up, bitch at me about nursing her to sleep, tell me... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 02

    Yikes what monsters. My in-laws are very similar but do it more passively than this. They love mocking people’s weight and parenting style and choices. It’s bad. However, the biggest concern I see from your post is your husbands reaction. He needs to be on your side with this. If you feel attacked by his family, he needs to shut up and listen to you closely. He should also be able to talk to th... More

Holiday arrangements with different families

I have a 4month old baby boy and we are experiencing some cold cold weather! My boy hates being in layers and he’s teething, which makes for very busy days for mama and daddy. My question is how do you guys handle splitting up days with your families during the holidays? We have 3 families that celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas so we’re going to my grandparents Thanksgiving or staying h... More

  • Lily
    Nov 16

    Family is so hard! You have a 4 month old, life is all about them at that point. My baby was about 4 months for her first Christmas. We were moving so we weren’t with family at all.....and that made everyone very mad. For me, maybe see how Thanksgiving goes, and then see if you want to try for Christmas. It is so hard to do anything with such a little one outside your own home. So if you ar... More

  • Brittny
    Nov 18

    Thank you lily! I’ll try to do my best your right!

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 15

In laws sharing our news

So we’re expecting a little girl (so excited!!) but I’m pretty private, mostly due to anxiety, and we weren’t ready to share our news on social media as it’s still early. We told this to our parents but my mother in law is still sharing the news on Facebook. We have asked her multiple times to stop and not share as we haven’t even told some of our friends yet but she says, what I’m just excited... More

  • Katia
    Nov 21

    So I have a MIL that required us as a married couple to seek counseling. Well our psychologist basically said it’s my fault. It’s my fault because I would share moments and information with her and then she would do things similar to your MIL. Act entitled to the event that it’s hers to share or that she did nothing wrong because this is her moment all the while robbing us of our precious momen... More

  • Erin
    Dec 01

    Definitely don't share any more pregnancy related information with her, as she has proven she can't be counted on to respect your wishes.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Nov 10

Gifts with a caveat?

I’m talking with my MIL it sounds like the gift she wants to give my kid For Christmas will stay at her house so he can only play with it when he visits. Is this a normal thing grandparents do? They already have toys for him at their house but this was labeled as a specific Christmas gift, but one that he doesn’t get to keep.

  • Arod
    Nov 13

    Not weird at all - I bet they just want to get to enjoy watching him enjoy it. Otherwise maybe they get to enjoy the excitement when he opens it then he's bored of it the next time they see him. There's also something about toys feeling new at someone else's house. My kids will play with the exact same toy they have at home at my mom's or their cousin house. Feels new again just... More

  • ACK
    Nov 14

    While I do understand the reasoning for keeping a designated toy at their house, will your little one understand this when it’s time to go home and they have to leave their gift? My MIL has done this too, but not for Christmas. I certainly appreciate having things at their house so we don’t have to travel with toys...but a couple of times it’s felt like just a control thing with her. I wouldn’... More

No bday present from grandparents who live here

I’m not sure how to feel about this but my in-laws didn’t give my little boy a birthday present this year. They live locally, came to the bday party and have seen my son several times since the birthday (October baby). I’m not the type to say anything to them (just post about it on Winnie of course! Haha). Anyone else ever experience this? Is it ok to feel kinda miffed? My in laws make a big... More

  • Yarlin
    Nov 08

    I totally understand you, that happens with my in laws i live with them and for my son’s birthday i went to my mothers house cause she wanted to cut him a little cake but the next day i went back home and either of them said happy birthday or give him anything and his uncles and aunt live there as well so nobody give him anything or did anything. I just try to ignore it what bothers me is that ... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Nov 05

Controlling mother-in-law

Any advice on how to deal with a controlling mother-in-law? It has gotten to the point where it is very unhealthy. It always gets worse around the holidays.

  • mary
    Nov 09

    She is (in the wrong way) reaching out to be sure she is important to you. You know how your kids respond better to praise than criticism... it's the same here. Find some ways to make her feel good, and I'll bet she will back off and be easier to cooperate with.

  • ACK
    Nov 15

    You’re not alone. Usually points of disagreement or frustration end up having to get resolved by my husband. It’s like she doesn’t “hear” me. It’s a shame it comes to that sometimes...and we can’t always clear things up on our own. It’s not necessarily big confrontations either. Most things just process for her better coming from him for some reason. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Anonymous posted in Babies Nov 02

Grandparents Attending Physician Visit’s???

Our one year old daughter needs to see a Pediatrics GI Specialist about an hour from us next week. I’ve had several issues with my in-laws since they live near us 6 months out of the year. They wanted to bring dinner over tonight so my wife said sure. As soon as they arrived they asked about the doctor’s appointment and said they would be coming to the doctor appointment with us... We are all ... More

  • Julie
    Nov 03

    Hmmm. Well it sounds to me that your wife is basically giving you the go-ahead to stand your ground and push back. I’m from a regular American family but I grew up extremely close to my parents and siblings. It was very much the agricultural type family where the older siblings took care of the younger ones, etc. I told my parents, especially my mom, everything about myself and my life even aft... More

  • Jennifer
    Nov 03

    They shouldn’t have invited themselves. I think for them to ask if you would mind if they attend would be ok. I’ve invited my mom to a few of my own ob/gyn appointments when I was pregnant and recently my mom did go to one of my sons neurology appointments that I invited her to go with. I think saying your going to attend is over stepping.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 01

To close for comfort?

Our daughter turned 1 recently and she is the only grandchild in both sets of our family. So yes, it’s a bit overwhelming with both grandparents and both sisters who aren’t married and are turning 47 this year. Our daughter is so loved by all but sometimes it feels like she is “the family baby”... this annoys me a bit since I feel this way mainly because of the way my wife’s family treated ou... More

  • Lulu
    Nov 02

    I hope you didn't misunderstand me..... too much family time CAN be a major issue, and you shouldn't GET OVER your issues. I find that when things are swept under the rug, they fester and become much larger issues. It also sounds like the boundaries are up to your wife to set... maybe stress the importance to her and let her know you can't really set these boundaries without her firm back up.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 02

    @lulu... thanks. No I didn’t miss understand you I just realized that my “problem” is actually not really that bad... while yes, boundaries are key which are sometimes difficult to set. While I’m glad my wife and I have begun discussing some of my concerns and interests in us taking the lead with schedules for visits I also know that since this is her family she likely has no issues with them w... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Oct 30

Separation because of parents

My wife and I never really fight except for things our parents do. We have a 1 year old daughter and since she is the only grandchild in both sets of families and will 99.9% chance be the only one we have a more unusual family dynamic. Over the past several months/year since the birth of our daughter, I’ve struggled with my in-laws and sister-in-law likely due to me not being as used to havin... More

  • Julie
    Nov 24

    I’ve been thinking about you!! How did the pow wow go?? I hope things are calming down!

  • Anonymous
    Nov 24

    @julie, It went okay. I was a bit surprised initially that my MIL didn’t think we had any “issues”.... I brought up how some of the old issues still bothered me and she I guess felt they weren’t issue any more. She asked if it was my Mom what would I do and I said I would likely tell her how I felt and my MIL said to treat her the same. Sounds nice but not real in my opinion. I’ve been learni... More

Anonymous posted in Faith & Religion Oct 25

How to deal with interfaith in-laws?

My partner is an atheist, but we’ve agreed to raise our kids in my faith. I wasn’t as religious before but having kids changed that, I want them to grow up without doubt in our faith etc . Now with Halloween coming up my in-laws are asking if I’m taking our baby trick or treating, being that it has paganism behind it I don’t want to, but they bought them a costume and asked to at least just com... More

  • Cryzana
    Oct 31

    CHRISTIAN vs CHRISTIAN I raised my first three children with NO santa claus AND we always participated in Halloween. WHY?? Halloween: The Bible is pretty clear that evil is a reality. Bad things really DO happen! Halloween is in remembrance of that less we forget. A TeddyBear in real life is not cute and snuggly-we teach our children to respect or "fear". SantaClaus (Ever noticed... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 01

    Satan claws? Hahahaha Thank you for the chuckle. Halloween is not about celebrating/recognizing evil!

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Oct 24

How can I help...

My sister in law had a very traumatic birth, plus she’s home by herself almost all day in a small apartment with baby... she expressed some thing’s to her mom (my MIL) that just made it obvious to me that she’s suffering with PPD. Getting counseling or even talking about things like depression are not common in their culture, so I’m not sure how to help. When I ask her how she is, she says she’... More

  • Ashley
    Oct 25

    Ok, I had a traumatic birth 2 months ago and I am very fortunate to have a doc who picked up on my PPD within 2 weeks of delivery. I'm no where near 100%, but through my short journey there are quite a few things that have been really helpful. And for the record, the only people who know I have PPD are my husband and 2 of my close friends who are out of state. None of my in laws or even my ... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 25

    I love and appreciate everyone’s suggestions! I will take them as I can because I have a son 1 month younger than hers (hers is 6 months and mine is 5 months) , so it is a bit difficult to be helpful to her in certain ways like taking her baby, when I have my own. Thank you all!

Anonymous posted in Family Life Oct 12

Ok how do you deal with an extremely passive aggressive MIL?

  • Anonymous
    Oct 15

    Well initially I’d let her do things and I’d complain to my husband. Then she would deny it or say I’m so sensitive. So then I started calling her out immediately as she did things. She would again say things like well that’s not what I meant or she’s tired of walking on eggshells around us. Nothing really worked until I literally lost it in her and called her out completely on social media. We... More

  • Ameena
    Oct 15

    I would like to know too cause me n my mil do not get along mostly cause there’s a language barrier. She refuses to learn English and always puts me down for not knowing Spanish even thou I’m not Hispanic 🤷‍♀️ the times when I can kinda understand her because I actually am trying to work with her she always wants it her way. One time I was babysitting a couple of kids and my own of course too. ... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Oct 12

Mother In Law is an alcoholic

So, my husband and I moved to a new state 2 years ago while I was pregnant with my first child. This caused a lot of heartache to all of our parents because our son would be the first grandchild of the family. We found a 4-bedroom house so that we could have our family stay in the guest room while in town. They all visit quite frequently and it’s exhausting! But some come and are very helpfu... More

  • BLR
    Oct 23

    Oh man, you guys are seriously patient... my MIL and I have many issues (from stealing from my husband while she was living with us to destroing my very expensive baking pans to keeping pot in the closet she shared with the kids) but it wasn’t until my step children told their therapist that she was making derogatory comments about me to them behind my back that DH actually started listening to... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 23

    BLR thank you so much for sharing your story and insight. Your MIL sounds like a piece of work. It’s funny because I just had this conversation again with my husband last night because we are having the baby any day now, and my MIL texted him asking to come visit the first week of December. (So the baby will be about 4-5 weeks old) we have been adamant about telling the family we need some tim... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Oct 04

How do you deal with in-laws that’s call you over protective ?

In-laws call us over protective when we don’t want them to babysit our 6 month old. They watched her one night out a few months ago and they said if she wasn’t happy they’d tell us and we could come home (5 mins away) but they didn’t. They claimed she slept and she was fine but she didn’t, we came in and she was miserable and hadn’t slept in hours and then seemed traumatized after and wouldn’t ... More

  • Damon
    Oct 05

    Agree with all of the above. Try to be on the same team with your partner, everything goes better when you are a united front, but ultimately fight for what you want for your child. Try reminding them that although parenting in 2018 seems too over protective to them, that the world is very different now. What we now know about our health and child development is totally contrary to what they ... More

  • Hillary
    Oct 05

    Honesty and respect is what makes babysitting work. For anyone, in-laws or not. If they arent willing to follow your rules, then it's not gonna be a good fit and you should tell them honestly why. At the same time, there is grace. My mom is a new grandmother and needed some help the first few times she watched my son. We came home from a date past his bedtime, and he was still up. Even thou... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Oct 02

MIL from hell

I have a mother in law from hell. She plays favorite with her children and grandkids. Let’s just say my husband and our kids are not her favorite. She lives 2 hours away and will come in for 4/5 days and only see us for 3 hours and her other grandkids who are siblings all the other days. She always has something nasty to say about everything we do or don’t do. She has went as far to ruin my bab... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 03

    You’re probably right. I just feel bad for my kids

  • Megan
    Oct 03

    I get that. My parents have only met my son once and I had to fly us across the country to make that happen. I want my kids to feel wanted, but only by the people who truly put forth the effort to be there. I get that struggle though!

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