In-Laws

Learn about navigating your relationship with your mother-in-law, father-in-law and other members of your spouse's family.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Aug 31

Child’s father’s mom

Now my child’s father’s mom been in my son’s life since he was two . With the birth and etc.. but now I think she is becoming too pushy and thinking she knows how to raise him how she wants to raise him . For example my son had a meeting about his speech . This lady was like taking over the whole conversation. Like saying my son does this and that and I know he didn’t . And also she is just to... More

  • Monda
    Sep 01

    Your not being too much it gets really annoying when a family member thinks that they are the parent of your child and that’s their job not yours!! My mom does the same thing and she thinks she can tell me what to do and what not to do with my kid and it irks me so much so I really get it! I hope it gets better for you before you lash out on someone

MIL doesn’t date, her son told her “not to”

My MIL is single/divorced (despite whatever weird relationship is going on with her ex-husband... I won’t go into details lol). During a tumultuous time in their life, my husband had to step up and become the adult early on in his life. He always said, “you don’t date or marry anyone, no one will treat you well” as a means of protecting/loving his single mom. They were very close for a while u... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 31

    How long has she been single? Has she already been obsessing over your child? Is your husband the biological father? Asking all this because it based on what you said, it sounds like your MIL has been single for a while and I’m making the assumption that your husband is the biological father of your 1 year old (info provided next to your name). So wouldn’t you know if she would obsess over th... More

  • cocomac
    Sep 02

    Yes biological father and she has been single for a long time. She is hugely obsessive and lives for any and all attention. She works part time and has friends she sees so that’s good. I’m still wondering if she’s actually holding back dating due to what my husband said. Eventually her other son will move out.. and she could get lonely.. I guess it’s. A Lesson learned. If I was her. I would be... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Aug 23

Grandmas 2x a week, daycare/school 3x a week... or cut out grandmas?

When my toddler will be 18 months, she will spend 3 days a week at daycare/school (tues/wed/thurs). And at home with mom Monday and MIL Friday. Currently she is at home full time with each grandma coming to my house. It’s been helpful because we can just run out of the house in the mornings, sometimes they cook, sometimes they fold laundry, and we get to check off the “see grandma” box and h... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 23

    Edited to add: I do pay the grandmas for their time, and I have anxiety over my kitchen (I’m going to therapy for it haha) and I hate coming home to what is essentially a daycare in my home, and the mess that comes with it. The grandmas eye sights aren’t as detailed as mine so I see every oil/water/drip drop mess!

Shay posted in In-Laws Jul 29

Am I overreacting

I get very bad anxiety when my in-laws watch the baby (they are in their 70’s). Despite the wAy that I feel I let them watch the baby (10 months old) anyway, and before I left the house I forgot to turn the stove off. During the 2 hours that I wAs gone no one noticed not even my husband. It wasn’t on high and nothing was really on it except the very edge of the pan, and the chicken got burnt a... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 31

    Overreacting because you can be equally blamed. Ex : " Shouldnt you be more careful with turning off appliances? A fire could have started and your child could have gotten severely injured or worse". Not sure anybody would turn it on you but, just in case. Nobody was hurt. Saying something will lead to an unnecessary fight.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    I get being anxious about leaving your child with your in laws. My daughter will never be alone with mine and I don’t care how many feelings I hurt. Having said that, you cannot blame them for this. You missed it yourself and it is scary but it happens. Just try to be more careful in the future.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jul 05

Super anxious about tomorrow

MIL asked to baby sit, we have a 16 month old and 5 month old. Both require a lot of attention and can get jealous too. She wants to take them too the zoo, (it’s super hot outside so I told her I can add her to our aquarium pass for a day, she still insisted on zoo, and the forecast shows thunderstorm all this week) we asked if anyone else was gonna go with her (her fiancé, etc) she said no it’... More

  • Stay-At-Home Dan
    Jul 08

    Sometimes we have to just be upfront and let them know that somethings are not up for discussion. Simple as that.

  • Anonymous
    Aug 08

    So I don’t mean to be a jerk, but she won’t take no for an answer because you let her walk all over you. My mil tries to tell me she’s babysitting or that she is taking my daughter to her house for the night. And she tries to say she won’t take no for an answer. I just Lol at her. My daughter, my rules. No one makes decisions for my child without my full consent. Good luck.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jul 03

To give or not to give?

We recently moved into a gated community, you need either a decal or stop at the front gate (who then call us) to enter. My husband wants to give a decal to his family so they can come and go as the like I would prefer not to. I’m not even giving it to my family. I really like the privacy and notice it would give us. Plus sometimes they (both mine and his) like to pop in this way they can’t and... More

  • Jess
    Jul 05

    My parents have our garage door code in case they ever need to get in but not a sticker for our community gate... for us it is not allowed to give to non residents as no point in a gated community if everyone can give out a decal to whomever.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Uh, no. This defeats the purpose of living in a gated community 😂😂. I have to say I’m a bit jealous. I now want to live in a gated community and I want to make sure my mil has to request access through a security company who would contact me. The less I see or speak to her the better. This would solve so many problems. Hahahahaha.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 14

MIL living in the 70s/vent

I just need to vent somewhere, and this is the only place to do so because I don’t want to tell my husband because it is indeed his mother. I can’t tell my parents because they will be furious and cause more drama. And I can’t tell my friends because that would be like dissing my own family. Just as a background. My hubby and I were born and raised in Asia and have in laws that are a bit more... More

  • Ali
    Aug 26

    This sounds like a no win situation. Be glad they cannot visit again for a long time!

Anonymous posted in Babies Jun 13

Ugh worst nightmare - baby turned away from me and into MIL arms

My MIL triggered me during my maternity leave when I asked to hold my baby (I let her/she took my baby from me as soon as I was done nursing) and the look on her face said it all. Her face said “wait, what? You want to hold your own child? How dare you ask that”. Before I even married my husband, she said multiple times “I’m going to spoil your child so much they won’t want to go home with you... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 21

    My LO does that to us to with my mom. Whether it be in law or parents that’s a very hurtful thing. I hate when they say they’re going to spoil my kids so they’d rather stay there. It may seem trivial but why would you want to do something 1. Isn’t good for the child just because it may make them happy, spoiling is not good! 2. Wanna do something so the child doesn’t wanna go to the parents. A... More

  • anonymous mom
    Jul 25

    So first, your mil is an ass. She shouldn’t keep doing something she knows will hurt you, the mother, just so she can delight in it. I would be very tempted and reactionary and may tell her I’m considering daycare at a center just because you know the teachers won’t treat you so badly. I have a horrible relationship with my mil anyway though so this would just push me over the edge. Having s... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 10

Trouble with in-laws

So tonight my husband went to his dads house to have dinner, i ended up staying home since i wasn’t feeling too great. I told him to take our daughter with him since I know my FIL loves to see her. So about an hour and a half they come back home and i ask him how dinner was. He says it was great! And that his grandma was there as well. He also mentioned that they gave our daughter those yogurt ... More

Anonymous posted in In-Laws Jun 10

Out of town or state trip with grandparent

This was an argument for me and dh today and I was just wondering how other people view it. Both my mom and mil have asked to take my one year old out of state (without us/me) and I have said no to both. My husband is upset I said no to his mom. So fellow parents what’s your opinion on it? Out of town vs out of state. Or overnights with either your parent of SO’s parent/in law. At what age? Etc.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 12

    I let MIL have them overnight finally one day and my one yr old stayed up till 5 crying and not once did they call us, I reasoned it with they probably didn’t wanna bug us but they should’ve. My mom at least face times when lo gets upset and starts to say mama or da and if she isn’t calm tell us to come get them if we want.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Hell. No.

I dont trust my bf mom to be alone with my baby.. Any suggestions???

My boyfriend and I have a daughter who is now 4 months old, I do not trust anyone alone with my baby except my mom/ family. I’m a first time mom & I breastfeed my daughter. My boyfriend’s mom keeps pushing for alone time with my daughter, Which i do go in and out of the room but to ana extent. We have gone to his house and I noticed this calendar in the kitchen and his mom will be charting ... More

  • Mary
    Jun 29

    I honestly think that being over protective with your mother-in-law is a bit much. Not to judge or anything. But, you have to remember that she is your child’s grandmother. She loves your child. She wants alone time to bond. There is nothing wrong with her request for alone time. It really is not the same with you there as she might not feel comfortable to love on your baby, cuddle, sing, play,... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Not the only one. Luckily my husband agrees: my mom can babysit. His mom can visit and one of us must be present at all times. That’s it.

Trust issues. Am I over reacting or no?

Heya lovely people. So I’m a couple of weeks away from having my first child and I have major trust issues with my partners family. I come from a very strong minded woman based family, and my partners family is more the man is the more important role. I’ve had major issues with his family based on different views and how things should be. His family have never liked me based on this. It’s ev... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 01

    I don’t know think you are overreacting; if they can’t be nice to you, how they going to treat your kiddo. You are the mother and it should be how you want it to be regarding your kiddo. She would be to young to be spending the night at grandmas; as they interact with her while you are there, you can change your mind. Since, you said your partner’s family views males as more important; how woul... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 09

    You’re completely right to not trust them. You don’t need your child growing up with the mind F... of having grandparents and dads family talking crap about you to them. And you can bet your tush that’s exactly what will happen. Sine your husband comes from such a misogynistic family, does he share their beliefs or yours?? Hopefully he will be on your side and will agree and stick up for you... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life May 17

MIL issues. (Long rant, sorry!!!!)

My MIL has never ever liked me. From day 1 she had already made up her mind about me and has refused to get to know me or even try to be nice. She constantly puts me down and makes me feel useless because I am a SAHM. She feels as if I’m ‘not going anywhere in life’ and that I’m just ‘spending all her sons money’. Ever since our daughter was born she constantly has something to say about how I’... More

  • Anonymous
    May 20

    Girl. My mother is Law is the SAME WAY. She tries to tell me to "put socks on him" or "well you need to just let him do this or that " and my son is 10mo old and she CONSTANTLY tries bully me into letting him spend the night at her house, without me. When we are out somewhere she will take my son from me and will refuse to give him back. I loose my shit. I try to tell her s... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    Excuse my language, but holy shit. She needs to be put in her place. Immediately. And your husband needs to be the one to do it, but if he won’t then it’s you who will have to. I’d first cease all visits. All of them. Especially when you’re not around, she’s going to talk poorly about you in front of your baby. That’s NOT okay. I’d second pull her access to your bank accounts. Mommy dearest... More

Jess posted in In-Laws May 16

Monster in law? Or is it all in my head?

Me and my SO have been married for 10 months now , I noticed little things before our wedding that pulled my strings but brushed them off for example, her asking us multiple times if we are only marrying due to pregnancy and spreading rumors that we were pregnant when I’m not able to have children and I explained that ( I have one child from my previous marriage but suffered to many complicatio... More

  • Jess
    May 17

    Thank you all for the feedback and I will share it with my SO I hope the in-law relationship by Gary will help open our eyes on the subject since it’s been a difficult one on us both.

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 08

    I stopped reading when she came on your honeymoon. I hope things have gotten better. She’s the worst!!

Anonymous posted in Holidays May 13

Mother’s Day went downhill

Anyone else’s Mother’s day full of tantrums? lol. Anyways, I have had 3 Mother’s Days since my son was born. The first, it was just us as a family of three. I sent everyone in my family that is a Mom - a card. (My Mom, my sister and my MIL). I didn’t get a card in return from anyone. For my second Mother’s Day - we went away for the weekend with my in-laws. I had my son make my MIL a pain... More

  • anonymous mom
    May 23

    I’m not trying to be judgmental at all, so bear with me here. But I honestly think when people spend a lot of time comparing what they gave vs what they received it ends up creating a lot of undue negativity and the person who offended them by not reciprocating will not change anyway. Yes, stop making effort for your mil. She clearly doesn’t make the effort for you. If your husband wants to ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 21

    I don’t even get anything from my husband 😅 it’s been my second this year. I still make him a gift. It does hurt, but literally have no expectations and it somewhat makes it better.

Anonymous posted in In-Laws May 12

Tired of favoritism among grandkids

My son had his pre-k program this week and we invited the grandparents for dinner beforehand. My in laws brought my son’s younger cousin who my kids love dearly. However, the cousin is the favorite grandkid who the in laws see daily. The in laws hadn’t seen my son in a month and were only giving my son negative attention. They made him cry 2x over how he was acting towards his cousin (h... More

  • Anonymous
    May 17

    I think that this is a difficult situation. It is important to remember that you cannot change other people. I start out by saying that because there is a chance the grandparents will always be like this, and you need to be prepared for that. I think your husband (it's his parents, right?) needs to attempt a calm, open dialogue, stating your feelings and the issues. Then, you give them a c... More

  • Fuzzyjelbud
    May 19

    Don’t invite them to your son’s birthday party. Have the party be HIS FREAKING DAY! My dad is a control freak and an asshole to me, as long as I can remember, but he loves the shit out of my daughter, his only grandchild. We got into a heated argument in Target (she was starting to have a fit about not getting a toy, as it was the night before her Chuckie Cheese birthday party, where she wou... More

Pj posted in In-Laws May 12

Mother in Law being unforgiving

My mother-in-law has pretty much ruined our small family Mother’s Day which I had planned. Early last week we had an argument where I was tired of having to let her know about our baby that she looks after and me and my wife’s wishes for certain treatment and care. She completely. Disregards anything I have to say and brushes it off as she knows better. I just roll with it and try not make a bi... More

  • Anonymous
    May 13

    I totally sympathize with you. Mother in-laws can be tough! I would not budge on your wishes for your daughter even if your mother in-law watches her (assuming you and your wife are in agreement). That’s really great that you child gets grandma time... but does not give her power over you (the parent). You and your wife need to be on the same team and back one another up. Your wife is in a tou... More

Anonymous posted in Child Care May 10

Mil jealous of babysitting

My daughter is 1 1/2 and I have left her with someone other than daycare 3 times. Two times my husband and once my cousin who is like a sister to me, the only person I trust and an Rn. We are going to a wedding tomorrow and my husband mentioned to his mother that my cousin was watching our daughter. She asked why she couldn’t and what the problem was and my husband was like “eh she just wants... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 10

    I’m sorry to say hun but this will always be an issue. I feel better with my mom babysitting vs mil and it’s always an issue. It’s tit for tat and it’s not fair.. bonding doesn’t come with spending time alone or how much. I have family overseas whom I rarely see that I Love just as much as the ones here. It’s a mom thing that dad’s won’t understand and mil take advantage of. It hurts our relat... More

Anonymous posted in House & Home May 08

Vent about BIL (long post, sorry)

I just need to vent about my BIL really quick. He moved in with us a few months ago and everything was fine at first. He followed our (very simple) rules of cleaning up after himself and to be quieter when our daughter was sleeping during the day. But lately he seems to think the rules don’t apply to him!! He’s recently started smoking again and I told him if he wants to live with us/be around ... More

  • Sonia
    May 30

    I would have been so pissed! This is not reasonable advice, but I would have changed the locks. He would know I was serious. Living here is a privilege- not a right . I am not your mama and this is not your house. If you aren’t bringing something good to my home- you have to go! Be an asset in my life - or get out. He should be cleaning and mowing and helping- not causing chaos. He’s gott... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 10

    If he can’t follow your rules he has to go. We went through a similar situation, bil would be homeless if dh didn’t take him in. But he did drugs and had other issues. I took LO and moved to my mom. Family is important but the family you start comes before everyone. Your kids come before even yourself your parents and siblings. They are your responsibility not him. Your husband needs to see tha... More

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