Support and advice for people who are having difficulty conceiving, in all different stages of trying. Discuss medical options, coping strategies, IUI, IVF, and more.

Anonymous posted in Big Kids Mar 07, 2019

Explaining donated eggs

My sister has 13 yo twins who she conceived through donated eggs (with her husbands sperm) via IVF. Her kids (both girls) don’t know this but apparently her evil in laws want them to know. I think she should tell her in laws to pack sand but it would be difficult to explain to the girls why they can’t see grandma and grandpa anymore. Has anyone dealt with this and if so, how did you do it??

  • Anonymous
    Mar 20, 2019

    It doesn’t have to be a big thing except we’re talking about 13 year olds...everything feels dramatic! Ha

Anonymous posted in Infertility Feb 17, 2019

Seeking advice from anyone who has struggled or knows someone who has struggled getting pregnant.

My friend has been trying to conceive for over a year now. Within that time she found out that she has PCOS. They’re trying another type of drug to help her ovulate, but it sounds like she’ll need to go through IVF. My heart just breaks for her, and I feel so helpless. I can’t even imagine how her and her husband feel. We recently found out that another one of our couple friends is pregnant ... More

  • Theresa
    Feb 19, 2019

    I have PCOS and was trying to conceive for about 9 years. I was full of anxiety and stress, well obsessing about it. I had to change my mind cause I wanted to be happy if I wasn’t going to be a momma. Sure enough I did find happiness. I went on the Keto diet and lost 75 pounds and sure enough I ended up pregnant. Today I am the mother of a 10 month old and I’ve never felt so full.

  • Erin
    Feb 21, 2019

    I struggled for 3 years with infertility, and after a first failed IVF and being given about a 10% chance of ever conceiving a child, I now have an almost 2 year old daughter from a second IVF. And here are my 2 cents: Definitely don't ask/tell her things like: "have you tried X" or "has he had his sperm count checked" or "I heard if you just relax and stop trying ... More

Anonymous posted in Infertility Nov 03, 2018

How to tell my friend I’m pregnant whose struggling with infertility

A good friend of mine has been struggling with infertility since the birth of my daughter 1.5 years ago. She’s since gone through 2 ivf cycles, multiple surgeries and tests and nothing is working. We’ve had our struggles because I have my daughter and it’s hard for her to see me sometimes but I’ve been a big source of support for her and am always there to listen. I went through my own fertili... More

  • Andrea
    Nov 04, 2018

    I’ve been on both sides of this situation. I hated that a friend had worried so much about how to tell me when I was struggling... and in turn, I hated telling a different friend my news (with baby #2) when she’s been struggling for so long. In both situations, everything turned out fine. Of course I was jealous when my friend told me (especially bc it was an accident), but I was way more exci... More

  • Michelle
    Dec 05, 2018

    I am the only person aside from my best friends sister that she’s been happy for. But I also had 2 miscarriages before my baby so she knows I’ve struggled too. I have no advice other than the fact that she’ll want to know before anyone else, I think. She’ll feel the pain no matter what but don’t make her feel like she’s not important by telling others first.

Anonymous posted in Infertility Oct 16, 2018

BRCA 1 diagnosis - any others out there?

I have known for more than 5 years that I was BRCA 1 positive with a mutation for tumor repression - every woman on my mother’s side of the family has had early onset breast cancer (30s) and ovarian cancer by 40-45, with all but my mother, deceased. I am almost 32 and am actively thinking about when to perform preventative surgeries - with ovary removal recommended no later than age 37 and a f... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 17, 2018

    Thanks Nessa for responding! We are definitely in the same boat and I also hope the technology continues to improve. With BRCA 2 - is the recommendation with ovary removal to also supplement after the fact with hormone replacement therapy? Makes sense given you go straight to menopause in one day but still trying to muddle through the advice as I am a bit nervous how my body/mind will respond... More

  • Nessa
    Oct 17, 2018

    I have no idea as I haven’t gotten that far... I am probably at least another 5 years away from the mastectomy and then another couple of years before ovary removal. There are a bunch of Facebook groups you should join! I haven’t posted in them but they seem like a great group of people and very knowledgeable!

Pregnancy after vasectomy ?

So my SO got a vasectomy done a year ago. And now I am a couple days late and feet are super bloated. Can I be pregnant anyone been through this ?

  • Nichole
    Jun 17, 2019

    So my husband had been fixed for 15 years now but I am 7 days late is it possible does anyone know and I'm having light pink spotting

Anonymous posted in Infertility Sep 07, 2018

Fate of Frozen Embryos

5 years ago (before the successful IVF & birth of our first, and unassisted conception of our second) my husband and I were infertility patients. We have 5 frozen embryos leftover that we pay $400 annual to keep. Every year we struggle with what to do with them. Donate, destroy or continue to freeze? Any help, suggestions or stories of personal experience on how to ethically and emotionally... More

  • Sara
    Sep 11, 2018

    Are they all PGS tested? If not, you might want to do that to see if they are all viable... chances are some will not be. You can probably get a bulk rate so it shouldn't be super expensive. I think embryo donation is a wonderful gift you can give to another family though there are some implications for your kids since those will be their genetic siblings. I am in a similar boat but only h... More

  • Trudy
    Sep 12, 2018

    I agree with what Alexis said about if you are not 100% certain you won't carry them, pay the fee. As a person who's been paying the fee annually as well for many years, I always tell myself that the cost of $400/yr if I dont end up using them is far less than the emotional costs if I get rid of them now and change my mind later. If that makes any sense.

Anonymous posted in Infertility Aug 21, 2018

Dealing with infertility and friends

A good friend is struggling with infertility. I also struggled and had infertility treatments but eventually did get pregnant. During my baby’s first year of life she has had multiple failed treatments and now one failed IVF leading to miscarriage. I have been with her through this whole process and been very involved - she always came to me and we texted, went out, chatted etc. Except now she ... More

  • Elizabeth
    Aug 24, 2018

    I definitely think you need to give her space. It’s hard because sometimes the space makes it harder to rekindle. My twin sister has dealt with fertility issues. She got pregnant right away when then miscarried 6 weeks later and I found out I was pregnant literally the week after her baby would have been due. Initially she felt envious but my anxiety about my pregnancy helped her realize she ne... More

  • Kim
    Aug 24, 2018

    I also know what she is experiencing. You name it, & it happened to me during my 9 years of fertility treatments. Make sure you communicate to her that you care for her & are respecting her space. Let her know you are always there for her as well. Send her a text maybe every 2 weeks or 1x per month saying you are thinking of her & that you are there for her. I also did see really ... More

Found out i have pcos today but still praying for a sweet baby eventually💜

  • Anne
    Jul 27, 2018

    So sorry to hear that but it can still happen! Will be sending good luck to you 🙏🏼

  • Jenn
    Aug 11, 2018

    I’m so sorry! I have it too! I have had 2 babies fairly easy. I’ve learned a lot of “helping” things from ttc Facebook groups. With both my babies I only tried for a month and then 3 months with the other.

Anonymous posted in Child & Pregnancy Loss Jun 23, 2018

I need perspective dealing with infertile friend.

*touchy subject* *edited to shorten* Advice needed. Biblical perspective would help the best, but I’m open to whatever you’ve got. :) I have a friend that I’ve been friends with for about 8 years. We were roommates and best friends when we we were both single, and both started dating around the same time, got engaged around the same time, and married around the same time. My husband and her’s ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 04, 2018

    Alexis, thank you. So far I’ve been allowing the distance because I thought it may be best, but she says she wants to still be close friends but her actions just don’t match up. Around the time we each got married, we became distant also, and I allowed it to happen thinking that time in our life was just over and she came to talk to me and told me she was upset that I allowed the distance and w... More

  • Karen
    Nov 06, 2018

    I can talk about it from your friend’s perspective since I was not able to have children of my own (I’m raising my 4 year old niece who we hope to adopt soon). When my friends started having babies I tried so hard to be happy for them and attend all baby related activities. But the pain just got worse and worse through every failed attempt. I was so, so jealous I just couldn’t stand it. I was c... More

4 IVF and 2 transfers later still no baby. Seeking any advice.

  • Caitlin
    Jun 25, 2018

    Hi Iris, No advice just sorry to hear it and sending support your way

  • Stephanie
    Jul 24, 2018

    Iris, I have walked through the ivf road and it’s rough. I am so sorry. It took us 6 rounds and an egg donor until we had success. If you like your doctor and trust him/her ask what else they recommend. There are many different combinations of meds/protocols that they can try. If you don’t like them then find a new one now. Good luck and hang in there. P.S. remember to give yourself lots o... More

Anonymous posted in Infertility Jun 13, 2018


So I am starting to think I have pcos and I am so scared to ask a doctor. I have 2 stepchildren but I always wanted my own children and don't think I could hear that it may not ever be possible. Has anyone else dealt with this diagnosis?

  • Kate
    Jun 14, 2018

    Hi there, I was incorrectly diagnosed with PCOS, treated for it, then got a second opinion from a different fertility doctor who specializes in PCOS and later confirmed that I did not have it. PCOS does not necessarily mean you won’t be able to have your own children. I can tell you that there are definitely options out there to help women with PCOS conceive. And there are several factors tha... More

Anonymous posted in Infertility Jun 03, 2018

What supplements are you taking to prepare for IVF?

I’m currently on prenatal, omega, floradix, probiotic and vitamin D for low levels. The one that I’m struggling with making a decision on is Calcium. What amounts or brand you have used would be helpful, thanks!

  • Sara
    Jun 03, 2018

    All I took was a prenatal vitamin. I wouldn’t take too many different supplements without checking with your doc — you don’t want to take something that might accidentally interfere with IVF meds.

Anonymous posted in Infertility Apr 22, 2018

Anybody have PCOS and successfully achieved pregnancy? We have been trying for 10 months and nothing so far. We both want a baby and I’m starting to get really discouraged. Any advice?

  • Katarina
    Apr 25, 2018

    Tried for 10 years with PCOS and now i have my lil man 5 months old!

  • Angel
    Jul 22, 2018

    Took us 8 years. Out of the blue I missed my period. Found out on our 8 year anniversary now we have a 4 months old daughter

Anonymous posted in Infertility Apr 13, 2018

Who here has undergone (or whose hubby has undergone) a vasectomy? Has anyone had one reversed? Sperm bank as back up in case reversal failed? Thanks in advance.

  • Anonymous
    Apr 27, 2018

    They may also be able to retrieve sperm directly from the testicles if the vasectomy fails and then use IVF to create embryos from there.

Anonymous posted in Infertility Apr 11, 2018

Did any other parents have a harder time trying to conceive the second time? We were so lucky with our first child and conceived very quickly. This second time has not gone as easily at all and I am feeling quite discouraged and sad. I know stress isn't helpful, I try to lower my anxiety and stress daily through many different natural techniques (yoga, meditation, paced breathing, oils, etc... More

  • Alexys
    Aug 23, 2018

    First two I got pregnant within three months now that I’m looking at a third it seems nearly impossible Ttc 11 months

  • Cathy
    Oct 19, 2019

    Also have your thyroid checked. My thyroid levels were out of whack. Once they were normalized I got pregnant the first month. A baby needs 40% of your thyroid in the first trimester.

I had a miscarriage in 2016 at 4-months and just had another this weekend at only around 8-weeks. Any other older mamas out there with success stories? We really want to have a second, but concerned that my age (42) has closed the window for us. 😩

  • Tori
    Mar 01, 2018

    No advice but I’m sending you love and strength!

  • Laurie
    Apr 11, 2018

    Just saw this post, I know it’s an older one so not sure if you are still interested or not but thought I would comment just in case. After having my daughter at the age of 39 we started trying for our second a couple of years after. Took us a bit to conceive but then we did. And I miscarried. Then I miscarried again and miscarried again. Three miscarriages in a year. Had all the tests done to ... More

I have a family member that is pretty close to me. She is older and has been married several years more than me. They've been TTC for 7 years, spending tens of thousands of dollars on treatments. We tried for 1 month and conceived. How do I excitedly talk about my baby and pregnancy AROUND her (not to her) without having to walk on eggshells? She's obviously really hurt. Anyone have exp... More

  • Kayla
    Feb 01, 2018

    I like that Diana. Thanks!

  • Laura
    Feb 02, 2018

    I have a different way of looking at this... I once struggled with infertility... then after years me and my husband got pregnant then I went into premature labor in my 5th month of pregnancy.. I delivered and he passed away.. my question is Are you sure that she feels resentful towards you? It just may be making her uncomfortable because everyone assumes she will be resentful. If everyone know... More

Please remember that the holidays can be an especially tough time for those dealing with infertility. I wrote up a guide based on my personal experience with IVF. For those on this journey, I'm thinking of you ❤️

  • Sara
    Dec 19, 2017

    Wow I'm so sorry for your losses Natalie. 18 weeks I can't even imagine. That's so so tough.

  • Audrey
    Dec 19, 2017

    Thank you for sharing Sara! A good thing to keep in mind especially this time of year and always. Facebook breaks are always good 😚😄😵

We’ve been trying for over a year to conceive and nothing is working. He travels most of the year with work and getting an appointment with a fertility specialist is nearly impossible. I have an irregular period and I’ve tried tracking ovulation. He assures me there’s no issue and it’s probably him but 2 of his ex’s have gotten pregnant in the past(both terminated) and I’m to the point of wanti... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 29, 2017

    I’m 15 weeks pregnant now with my first IVF baby (and only baby ever at that). We decided after a year of trying to call a fertility specialist in January 2017. I didn’t get pregnant until September 2017. So I’d say, make the call now because unfortunately once you start fertility testing & treatment the baby may not come overnight. I know for us making that first call was so hard, I couldn... More

  • Sara
    Nov 29, 2017

    Also 15 weeks pregnant with my first IVF baby! Having conceived my first daughter naturally I never imagined I'd be down this path, but it wasn't as scary as I had anticipated. Yes the process can take awhile so best to get it started as soon as you realize it's not happening on its own.

Highly recommend this new documentary called "One More Shot". I just watched it last night and it was really eye opening and real. It tells the story of a young couple throughout many years of infertility. I don't want to spoil anything so I will just say that if you are dealing with any sort of infertility or struggle to grow your family it's worth a watch:

  • Stacy
    Nov 07, 2017


  • Sara
    Nov 10, 2017

    No :-( I had to buy it on Amazon

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