Multicultural Families

Get advice and share experiences about all things multicultural including biracial, interfaith, and bilingual families.

Teddy posted in Education Aug 15

5 yo wants to learn Spanish

Hola! I have a whitey-white-creamy-pasty-alabaster-European California kid (5.5 years old) that badly wants to learn Spanish. Her dad’s family is from Argentina (so I guess she isn’t THAT white, but she definitely got more of my genes 😉) and the lot of them speak Spanish (some of them ONLY speak Spanish.) We also live in San Jose, Ca, and most of the time at playgrounds and such there are pred... More

  • Aida
    Aug 21

    That’s awesome! My son goes to Spanish immersion preschool three times a week. There are lots of pasty kids in his class, and they speak better than he does!! 😊 We are trying to improve our use at home too, to help him get more fluent as Abuela only speaks Spanish and I get in trouble weekly that I should speak more Spanish to him....so we’ve added flash cards to our bed time routine. Keeping ... More

20month toddler speech

Hello! I’m a little worried that my 20month toddler only does 24 understandable words for now. The other thing is she babbles a lot and she understands almost everything I tell her in Spanish and English. She tries to sing in sentences. But I don’t know if its because I talk to her in two languages or she is just behind. What are you’re experiences and should I have her evaluated or im just jum... More

  • Wayne
    Jul 08

    My boy did that until about 2.5 years old. Now I can't get him to shut his mouth. Lol. According to our doctor, animal noises also count as words.

  • Momof1
    Jul 09

    My son could only speak 4 words including dada at 20 months. We decided on speech therapy in our case but I think 24 is a lot! I’m sure she will catch up :) I think most sites say 50 words by 24 months but that shouldn’t be a problem given how many she knows already

Anonymous posted in Child Care May 02

How to deal with guilt when a family member is your primary child care?

For those that have a grandparent watching baby during the day, how did you deal with the guilt of the expectation that their help is no longer needed once you/spouse gets home? Aka, you don’t want them staying for dinner even though it seems natural (and that grandparent is single which makes the guilt even worse)? Oh and let’s make it harder. You’re asian 😂

  • Rob
    May 19

    You can say it straight forward and explain to them that you appreciate them and once you or your spouse is home you would like to have time alone with your kid(s).

  • Natasha
    Jul 20

    That is rough, maybe a compromise. Family dinner with grandma once or twice a week on set days that way she can feel included but also gives you days to do our own nuclear family thing.

Anonymous posted in Multicultural Families Apr 26

Anyone here with dual citizenship child born in the US?

This has been very hard to decide and my family have been debating on this long before my son was born. My husband is American & I’m from the Philippines. I’m just curious if there are other parents out there that has children born here in the US? Did you apply for dual citizenship or just let them stick to their US citizenship. There’s too many pros & cons. Thanks!

  • Mitsuko
    May 02

    I have dual citizenship with Japan and the US. My husband is American and we both decided it would be cool to give my daughter dual citizenship as well. Everything went fine, but the only issue with Japan is that they don't really like people having dual citizenship. Technically we're supposed to decide when we turn 22 or 23 which nationality we're keeping, but they also kind of hav... More

  • Ayse
    May 03

    Dual citizenship can be an issue if one of the countries has mandatory military service

Middle name suggestions?

Me and my husband are leaning toward the name Enzo for our baby boy due in a couple weeks. Any middle names that would sound good? Last name is Bahena and we are Hispanic. Thanks for all and any suggestions 💙

  • Mama
    Apr 10

    Enzo James Bahena Enzo Alexander Bahena Enzo Orlando Bahena

  • Mama
    Apr 10

    💗

Elle posted in Behavior Mar 19

Inuit Parenting Style

"With little kids, you often think they're pushing your buttons, but that's not what's going on. They're upset about something, and you have to figure out what it is." https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/03/13/XXX-XXXX53/a-playful-way-to-teach-kids-to-control-their-anger

  • Lulu
    Mar 19

    Amazing read! Thanks!

  • Elle
    Mar 19

    I guess our parenting style is French-Inuit then...

Baby boy name suggestions!

My husband and I are fully Mexican but speak more English. Our families mostly speak Spanish so we need something that sounds good both in Spanish and English. I’m due first week of May 😊

Anonymous posted in Education Feb 26

Bilingual parents

Which language did you start teaching your baby first? I’m bilingual my husband speaks only English.. I try to talk to our baby in my native language majority of the time but end up speaking English a lot of well especially when DH is around. I want to start teaching her words, letters, numbers, etc (with flash cards) but not sure which to start with or do both but I don’t want to overwhelm her... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 28

    Michaela, did you ever feel left out though when your son and husband would talk? Mine is worried he won’t be able to communicate with LO

  • Michaela
    Feb 28

    He’s only 9 months now so I’m not sure how left out I will feel when my son actually speaks back but I can say since he was born I have already picked up so much Arabic that I generally know the topic of conversation and so I don’t feel too badly left out. I imagine that as he gets older I will learn even more. Also to me, the benefits of my son knowing two languages outweighs that emotion. Bec... More

“The talk”

So, my oldest is turning 15 this year, she is having a quinceañera party which, in Latino culture, signifies her transitioning into a woman. Now, she is not a woman and will never be a woman in my eyes, still my baby girl. But I do understand she is getting older and the fact that she doesn’t live with me, due to a divorce from my first wife, makes things a bit more challenging. I want to have ... More

  • Michelle
    Jan 27

    You may want to have the talk with her, but make sure she wants to have the talk with you first. The best thing you can do for your relationship and her self-esteem is respect her boundaries. I’m sure she’s watching tv shows with mature themes. Find out what she’s watching, then watch them on your own, and start a conversation with her about the characters. You can pass along your wisdom to ... More

  • Elle
    Jan 28

    Want to upvote Michelle's comment about 100 times. Best comment thus far.

Names ??

I have a son named George. And just found out I’m expecting a second boy ! What would be a good little brother name that goes with George? I’m from the Hispanic decent so would like something that sounds both good in English and Spanish. Thank you!!

  • Elle
    Dec 21, 2018

    Santiago Lucas David Vincent

  • Sheila
    Dec 23, 2018

    What about Joel pronounced Ho-well in Spanish and Jo-ell or Jole in English

Anonymous posted in Faith & Religion Dec 20, 2018

Dilemma between spouse and parent (holiday)

Back story: I’m pretty much an agnostic but converted to my DH’s faith and we raise our LO in the faith. Now with Christmas coming up my mom has been asking us what we wanted. DH never replied to it and now recently said he can’t take x mas presents and they shouldn’t get LO presents either. But my mom has already bought us stuff so he said to give it as end of the year gifts or New Years gif... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 23, 2018

    Is your DH jehovah witnesses? I have family who is and I know they don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter. They usually take their kids to buy a new toy or two after Christmas. It’s not from Santa it’s just from the store. I think your mom is over stepping with the whole Santa thing since your DH and you have both decided to raise your kids in his faith she needs to respect that. End of the year g... More

  • Robin
    Jan 12

    Can I just remind everyone that Santa and the Easter Bunny are not “religious” so use them the way that’s best for your family. Also if they are in school and can’t actually celebrate whatever holiday party the kids are having- let them be the “photographer” so they’re not participating but they’re not ostracized either. Last - there’s always “fall fest”, “Holyween” or some other semantic phr... More

Anonymous posted in Multicultural Families Nov 24, 2018

Emo - means Aunty in Korean

So my wife is Korean and I am Chinese. I’m 5th / 6th generation Chinese American and my wife is 2nd generation Korean American. My sister in law is called Emo which mean aunty (from the mother side). A friend of ours posted a comment about how much the Emo’s love our daughter referring to both my sister in law and my sister. During dinner last night my sister in law said that our daughter on... More

My son is 14 months and is spoken to in 3 different languages.

I am worried he is verbally delayed and I am not sure how to balance it all. I want him to learn all 3- Polish, Spanish and English.

  • Inna
    Nov 27, 2018

    My son has theee language spoken with him on a daily bases I am worried because he is two and has not sad a whole lot yet.

  • Nathalyn
    Nov 28, 2018

    Communication studies major over here, it may seem like a delay at first while your child sorts out the information but he already is able to differentiate the languages. Please don’t worry about the seeming delay he will fair far better than his peers in school and in the future. It’s the perfect time for him to learn multiple languages. I credit my own success and intelligence to understandin... More

Baby girl names?

I am expecting my second baby. We have not yet found out the gender but I already started looking for names. We have a boy name but not a girl one. The only girl name we like is TOO common so I don’t really like it anymore. We’re both Hispanic and I just want a name that sounds both good in English and Spanish as our families only speak Spanish.

  • Amy
    Nov 01, 2018

    Mia, Eva or Ava, Krystal, Belen, Susana, Marcela, Viviana

  • Linda
    Nov 03, 2018

    Linda! Love my name

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Sep 26, 2018

Prenatal gender myths

Has anyone successfully conceived a girl baby after following the so called “rules” to increase your chance of having one? For instance, I have read that if you don’t allow yourself to orgasm it can help your odds or that if you purposely only have sex a few days before ovulation and not on the day of ovulation, you have a better chance of conceiving a girl. Also, changing your diet has been re... More

  • Amanda
    Sep 29, 2018

    If you’re into trying to conceive a specific gender, I’ll just tell you this... The genders of both of my kids match up to what the “Chinese gender predictor” had predicted. Soooo if you want to try for a boy or girl, just plug in your age and possible conception months and see what it predicts. Then try getting pregnant that month. Sure, not exactly scientific, but no harm in having fun with i... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 20, 2018

    We used shettle method for both our girl and boy. They say it’s 50/50 no matter what but either we got lucky (50/50) or it helped increase the odds. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shettles_method?wprov=sfti1

Anonymous posted in Child Care Sep 05, 2018

My 2.5 year old started going to daycare two months ago and I’m really struggling to accept that he is losing his/ and my mother tongue. I worked very hard to speak solely in our native tongue, assuming he will pick English up easily enough, which has been the case. But he happily spoke to me and understood our mother tongue. For about three weeks, he’s refused to use anything other than Englis... More

  • Lena
    Sep 05, 2018

    We have a quatrilingual household here 😂🤣 but focus on the 2 main languages we mostly use English/Spanish. When I am alone with my kid I speak nothing else but Spanish to him even though the TV or music might be in English. When both my husband and I are with him it's mostly English. The books we read to him however are of different languages as some are enough to lull him to sleep. I do si... More

  • Jerry
    Jul 30

    I agree with everyone that you speak to him in your native tongue and do the books as well. Because no matter what he will pickup English at school/daycare. We’ve been doing the same with our daughter and she is speaking both great and she’s 5 now.

Any half African American kids?

I have a half African American and half Mexican daughter. Her hair is getting longer and I’ve been told I have to put stuff in her hair to protect the curls. She’s got the big Shirley temple curls. I have bought the “Miss Jessie’s Multicultural Curls” lotion and it doesn’t seem to be doing anything. I use the “glop and glam” shampoo and conditioner in her hair. I’m just not sure what to use for... More

  • Mommy
    Sep 05, 2018

    As a hair stylist I would say less is best, we get so caught up in the hype why to often, trying way to many products! Just 4 Me kid line would be just fine for her hair washing and conditioning once a week, and deep conditioning once a month/ not to over condition and way down or clog hair follicles and if hair seems to get limp then you’ve over moisturized and can implement a protein every ot... More

  • MrsHidalgo
    Oct 06, 2018

    I can relate- my daughter is also Black/Mexican... she’s only 2 but her hair looks like Fancy Nancy, it’s wild and all over the place. I love the Shea Moisture coconut milk, it works well with her hair.

Spanish immersion

Does anyone have a child that is in or gone through Spanish immersion schooling? My daughter is about to start and I wanted to hear others experience and advise. Thanks

  • flieskarina
    Aug 12, 2018

    what's immersion school?

  • Jazzbird
    Aug 13, 2018

    My son is in a bilingual school (Spanish/English) and loves it. It's not a total immersion, but his head teacher will only speak Spanish to the children. It did take a few weeks to warm up, but he had just turned 4. He has already picked up an ton in just 5 months. It helps if you can support it at home. It's so wonderful when children can learn a new language during their critical peri... More

Bilingualism

My husband is from El Salvador and speaks fluent Spanish/English. I want our 20 month old daughter to learn Spanish as well. However, there are a few problems: 1. I am a stay at home mom, so she is around me 24/7; and I am only fluent in English. I cannot afford someone to babysit while I go take classes; nor do I have the family support. 2. My husband is almost never home due to his grave shif... More

  • Molina
    Apr 30

    Hello. I have a suggestion, I am from El Salvador too. If your husband is fluent in Spanish, he may be familiar with a book called El Silabario, which. means the alphabet. If you are able to buy it, it will ease your learning experience. Every page is short and easy to read. The last pages of the book, have short stories, to practice your reading. Maybe your husband can make time to record a pa... More

Hospital admin “correcting” race/ethincity

I recently had to take our oldest to the hospital (she’s fine) and while we were registering in the ER, the admin person who was reviewing her patient file turned to me saying “Oh, well, she’s obviously not Hispanic.” Granted, my family are light-olive toned Hispanic and Spanish and my husband is all types of WHITE. So upon appearance, yes, you might not think Hispanic. Here are my two major ... More

  • Kate
    Jul 29, 2018

    I would contact the place and let them know

  • Michelle
    Aug 16, 2018

    Contact patient experience and let them know, that is not ok! They need to give that person some more cultural sensitivity training.

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