Get advice and share experiences about all things multicultural including biracial, interfaith, and bilingual families.
So, my oldest is turning 15 this year, she is having a quinceañera party which, in Latino culture, signifies her transitioning into a woman. Now, she is not a woman and will never be a woman in my eyes, still my baby girl. But I do understand she is getting older and the fact that she doesn’t live with me, due to a divorce from my first wife, makes things a bit more challenging. I want to have ... More
I have a son named George. And just found out I’m expecting a second boy ! What would be a good little brother name that goes with George? I’m from the Hispanic decent so would like something that sounds both good in English and Spanish. Thank you!!
Back story: I’m pretty much an agnostic but converted to my DH’s faith and we raise our LO in the faith. Now with Christmas coming up my mom has been asking us what we wanted. DH never replied to it and now recently said he can’t take x mas presents and they shouldn’t get LO presents either. But my mom has already bought us stuff so he said to give it as end of the year gifts or New Years gif... More
Is your DH jehovah witnesses? I have family who is and I know they don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter. They usually take their kids to buy a new toy or two after Christmas. It’s not from Santa it’s just from the store. I think your mom is over stepping with the whole Santa thing since your DH and you have both decided to raise your kids in his faith she needs to respect that. End of the year g... More
Can I just remind everyone that Santa and the Easter Bunny are not “religious” so use them the way that’s best for your family. Also if they are in school and can’t actually celebrate whatever holiday party the kids are having- let them be the “photographer” so they’re not participating but they’re not ostracized either. Last - there’s always “fall fest”, “Holyween” or some other semantic phr... More
So my wife is Korean and I am Chinese. I’m 5th / 6th generation Chinese American and my wife is 2nd generation Korean American. My sister in law is called Emo which mean aunty (from the mother side). A friend of ours posted a comment about how much the Emo’s love our daughter referring to both my sister in law and my sister. During dinner last night my sister in law said that our daughter on... More
I am worried he is verbally delayed and I am not sure how to balance it all. I want him to learn all 3- Polish, Spanish and English.
Communication studies major over here, it may seem like a delay at first while your child sorts out the information but he already is able to differentiate the languages. Please don’t worry about the seeming delay he will fair far better than his peers in school and in the future. It’s the perfect time for him to learn multiple languages. I credit my own success and intelligence to understandin... More
I am expecting my second baby. We have not yet found out the gender but I already started looking for names. We have a boy name but not a girl one. The only girl name we like is TOO common so I don’t really like it anymore. We’re both Hispanic and I just want a name that sounds both good in English and Spanish as our families only speak Spanish.
Has anyone successfully conceived a girl baby after following the so called “rules” to increase your chance of having one? For instance, I have read that if you don’t allow yourself to orgasm it can help your odds or that if you purposely only have sex a few days before ovulation and not on the day of ovulation, you have a better chance of conceiving a girl. Also, changing your diet has been re... More
If you’re into trying to conceive a specific gender, I’ll just tell you this... The genders of both of my kids match up to what the “Chinese gender predictor” had predicted. Soooo if you want to try for a boy or girl, just plug in your age and possible conception months and see what it predicts. Then try getting pregnant that month. Sure, not exactly scientific, but no harm in having fun with i... More
We used shettle method for both our girl and boy. They say it’s 50/50 no matter what but either we got lucky (50/50) or it helped increase the odds. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shettles_method?wprov=sfti1
My 2.5 year old started going to daycare two months ago and I’m really struggling to accept that he is losing his/ and my mother tongue. I worked very hard to speak solely in our native tongue, assuming he will pick English up easily enough, which has been the case. But he happily spoke to me and understood our mother tongue. For about three weeks, he’s refused to use anything other than Englis... More
We have a quatrilingual household here 😂🤣 but focus on the 2 main languages we mostly use English/Spanish. When I am alone with my kid I speak nothing else but Spanish to him even though the TV or music might be in English. When both my husband and I are with him it's mostly English. The books we read to him however are of different languages as some are enough to lull him to sleep. I do si... More
I have a half African American and half Mexican daughter. Her hair is getting longer and I’ve been told I have to put stuff in her hair to protect the curls. She’s got the big Shirley temple curls. I have bought the “Miss Jessie’s Multicultural Curls” lotion and it doesn’t seem to be doing anything. I use the “glop and glam” shampoo and conditioner in her hair. I’m just not sure what to use for... More
As a hair stylist I would say less is best, we get so caught up in the hype why to often, trying way to many products! Just 4 Me kid line would be just fine for her hair washing and conditioning once a week, and deep conditioning once a month/ not to over condition and way down or clog hair follicles and if hair seems to get limp then you’ve over moisturized and can implement a protein every ot... More
I can relate- my daughter is also Black/Mexican... she’s only 2 but her hair looks like Fancy Nancy, it’s wild and all over the place. I love the Shea Moisture coconut milk, it works well with her hair.
Does anyone have a child that is in or gone through Spanish immersion schooling? My daughter is about to start and I wanted to hear others experience and advise. Thanks
My son is in a bilingual school (Spanish/English) and loves it. It's not a total immersion, but his head teacher will only speak Spanish to the children. It did take a few weeks to warm up, but he had just turned 4. He has already picked up an ton in just 5 months. It helps if you can support it at home. It's so wonderful when children can learn a new language during their critical peri... More
My husband is from El Salvador and speaks fluent Spanish/English. I want our 20 month old daughter to learn Spanish as well. However, there are a few problems: 1. I am a stay at home mom, so she is around me 24/7; and I am only fluent in English. I cannot afford someone to babysit while I go take classes; nor do I have the family support. 2. My husband is almost never home due to his grave shif... More
Christy, I can identify. I emigrated as a child and I’m used to speaking English most of the time, and always with my husband, so it’s hard to speak Spanish when we’re all together. It’s much easier for me to speak Spanish to my son when it’s just the two of us. It sounds like your husband doesn’t have many opportunities to be on his own with your daughter so I can imagine it’s difficult!
@Luci You are on point! I am not trying to put my husband down... He does try. But we both get frustrated sometimes. I desperately want to learn, but it's hard to do it on my own without someone teaching it to me... So I am asking for other things that might be out there that I could try.
I recently had to take our oldest to the hospital (she’s fine) and while we were registering in the ER, the admin person who was reviewing her patient file turned to me saying “Oh, well, she’s obviously not Hispanic.” Granted, my family are light-olive toned Hispanic and Spanish and my husband is all types of WHITE. So upon appearance, yes, you might not think Hispanic. Here are my two major ... More
So I am mostly African-American and caucasian and my husband is Mexican and we have a 3 month old boy. The main trouble that I have is really how close his family is. His family constantly calls him and they are ALL OVER my baby. His sister also has a baby (a 4 month old and yes, we were pregnant together lol), but they love love love my baby because he doesn’t get as fussy with people, while... More
We're Mexican over here and this is how my family is. We're all real close call each other up hang out at each other's house all the time until around midnight or 1 o'clock or even later when watching the fights or something. My SIL is white from a small family and it had taken her almost 9yrs of being with my brother and adjusting to our family. People don't realize the cul... More
I m Mexican my husband is from South Carolina and are white and American Indian. I just moved back to KC because for 10 years we have lived in SC where my kids had a lot of family but only saw them like 3 or 4 times a year. It was horrible, I was always depressed and felt horrible for my kids. So we sold our house and moved back to KC where my family is and OMG night and day diff. My kids see a... More
My husband and his family grew up in a third-world country. His parents don't speak very much English. Their theory on raising kids is that if they could survive in their home country, this won't hurt em', which doesn't work for me. And since they've raised so many kids, they really don't take any advice on what works for my LO. In my husband's culture the kids don&#... More
Ultimately.. It's your kid. They had time to parents their own kids now it's yall turn. Let them know that you will hear them out and take suggestions but you have the final say because they are your kids to raise/parent. If they want to see their grandkids often and have a good relationship with everyone then they won't fuss too much.
How do you keep your kids in touch with their culture? I would consider moving back home (India) when we have kids because its what my parents did and it's given me perspective I wouldn't have had otherwise if I had spent both my childhood and adulthood in the same country. I don't want to project that the same would be true for future kid(s) though if we were to move - any advice/... More
When I was a child, we would go to my mom's home country once every four years for 2 to 3 months, and two years after one of her relatives would visit for around 2 months. The combination of living in another country for a even a short while AND seeing what someone from that country found unique about America really expanded my view (I still remember the first time my grandfather ate with ... More
I am currently pregnant with my boyfriend's and my first child..my boyfriend is mexican and i am white. I want to know when i do give birth and everything. I want to be prepared for the question if one of my little cousins or my neohew ask. My whole family on my moms side does not have any bi racial babies on that side neither does my dads side. I want to know what to say if someone asks me... More
As a mixed person myself I think it is important to bring up race and discuss it with your kids. Of course races doesn’t matter to you but it matters to the other people so they should know how to handle racism when they see it. Read blogs, talk to people of different races about their experiences, and consider yourself an ally so you can pass the knowledge on. 😀
I’m mixed ( black and white) and trust me, it is important to bring up that they are mixed but it’s also important to make sure they are comfortable with being mixed. As I child, I hated my black side because Where I grew up, I was taught that black people are dangerous blah blah blah so I didn’t want to accept that side of me. But many people thought I wasn’t theirs because I have what peopl... More
My kids are learning English as a second language and it’s tough! Any suggestions on helping them with their vocabulary and getting better at comprehension? Their grades are not good.
It is a challenge to learn a second language and to have your schooling depend on the acquisition. The more English your children hear and speak the better. Young minds are incredibly adept at picking up languages –much better at it than adults – but they need exposure. Reading to them or using an audio book while looking at the actual book can help. It’s rare I suggest watching TV with childr... More
First off, that is awesome! Second, I learned that reading books with both languages help a lot. For example it may say “the sky is blue” and right next to it it will say “el cielo es azul” so it incorporates both and means the same thing. Dora books are really good for that. Good luck 🙂
Being bilingual is a great benefit in life, so it is wonderful that you want to make sure your three-year old’s reading skills are developed in both languages. But to make sure that your child is literate in both languages might require extra effort. The alphabet is the same, but the pronunciation of the letters is not identical, at least not completely identical. This means your child will hav... More
For bilingual / multilingual families out there, how early did you incorporate or teach another language to your babies? I’m a SAHM & my husband works during the day. He strongly encouraged me to introduce another language to our baby. But I’m anxious if I’ll do it correctly & if it will benefit him. Also, I’m not sure how good I’ll be switching over two different languages. Any insight... More
We speak both English and Spanish all the time. Our 3 year old understands Spanish pretty good but can’t speak it. He speaks English and obviously understands. I really don’t there is a age that is to early to start learning. We just point out what we are talking about and he picks up the rest.
We speak both languages Spanish and English, my family speaks Spanish and my husband is American. Its beautiful to see how my 4 year old speaks and understand both languages perfectly. My 2 year old speaks more english but understands Spanish. We used both languages since day 1. I recommend you introduce both 2 languages. It will definitely benefit the baby :)
Raising bilingual children using the the "One Parent / One Language (OPOL)" method Hello. I just wanted to share how well the OPOL method is working for my 5-year old son. I was born and raised in the United States and have been speaking only English to my son and my wife who was born in South Korea has been speaking only Korean to my son since he was born. We live in Seoul, South Ko... More
You may want to have the talk with her, but make sure she wants to have the talk with you first. The best thing you can do for your relationship and her self-esteem is respect her boundaries. I’m sure she’s watching tv shows with mature themes. Find out what she’s watching, then watch them on your own, and start a conversation with her about the characters. You can pass along your wisdom to ... More
Want to upvote Michelle's comment about 100 times. Best comment thus far.