Nontraditional Parenting

Discussion and questions about the spectrum of parenting arrangements that go beyond just the birth mother & father.

Separate parenting issues

This would be my first post on here. Really hoping to get some real insight and advice.. my daughter who just turned 10 yrs, recently started seeing her dad again. He hasn't seen her in over a yr. Anyway, my daughter tells me he has been bad mouthing me to her and saying things that aren't true. Things like me using her against him (which isn't true) . I was actually the parent tryi... More

  • Angie
    Friday

    Hmmm, thats a tough one cuz you need to stop this but dont want to lose her trust. Try explaining to her that secrets are not to be kept between adults and children. Honestly, do you know if your ex is a narcissist? This sounds like behavior of a narc. I just recently permanently stopped communication and visitation with my childs father for many unhealthy reasons due to being a malignant cover... More

  • SWAGGERDAD
    Friday

    Hey, I think you should have a talk with him and when I say "talk "not about bad mouthing you but Have a conversation, by the looks of it he's hurting inside, that why he's bad mouthing you to his daughter. As a Man and a Father I don't agree with he's action, he's wrong for doing that and using his daughter against her mom. He thinks he's hurting you by bad... More

Holiday arrangements with different families

I have a 4month old baby boy and we are experiencing some cold cold weather! My boy hates being in layers and he’s teething, which makes for very busy days for mama and daddy. My question is how do you guys handle splitting up days with your families during the holidays? We have 3 families that celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas so we’re going to my grandparents Thanksgiving or staying h... More

  • Lily
    Nov 16

    Family is so hard! You have a 4 month old, life is all about them at that point. My baby was about 4 months for her first Christmas. We were moving so we weren’t with family at all.....and that made everyone very mad. For me, maybe see how Thanksgiving goes, and then see if you want to try for Christmas. It is so hard to do anything with such a little one outside your own home. So if you ar... More

  • Brittny
    Nov 18

    Thank you lily! I’ll try to do my best your right!

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 15

Can I do it?

Do you ever feel unfit to be a parent? I do. 😭 I promise him that I will be better but I’m not there yet, and wondering if I will ever be the parent he deserves.

  • Joni
    Nov 19

    Absolutely. I’m a single mother of 3 and I feel this way most days. I work and go to school full time but I feel the constant need to keep improving for their sake. They deserve the absolute best and I fall short. You just have to keep trying everyday. Give yourself credit I know it’s easier said than done but the fact that you try and are aware means your doing better then most. Hang in there!

  • Lauren
    Nov 24

    I have never felt like this. You need to asked yourself why you feel like this. It may be something as simple as you are spread too thin.

4 kids 3 different Moms

Me and my fiance just got his 3 kids back. Got the 7&9 year olds back in December when I was 4.5 months pregnant with my 1st and the 17 year old in May when the baby was 1.5 months old. Trying to transition all of the kids to work together at all different ages is so hard. Any suggestions to help me get them to see their family and work together rather then constantly fighting an telling on... More

  • Jessica
    Sep 28

    ☝🏻 agreed. I’m glad it got erased, try not to let “anonymous” comments get you down- or anyone’s for that matter!

  • Hippity
    Sep 28

    I had to go thru something similar and all I can say is : it takes time, and hard work but it’s all worth it, after years of fighting now my stepsons and I have a great relationship and they appreciate everything even the tough love, so hang in there

Should I teach my daughter to fight back?

My lovely, smart, polite, friendly and well-liked girl is eight and in NYC 4th grade public school. I always taught her to obey the rules and the law but in this age of #metoo and with certain politicians violating the rights of women, how do I tell her to punch when she needs to? I've explained to her that certain things are never right, that boys (and men) should never touch her when she ... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 28

    I have boys, so I can't really answer this from the daughter perspective. But I have taught them two things from day one: 1. They are always allowed to choose who touches their body. They do not have to hug Grandma, or their friend, or even me, if they don't want to. 2. They are to be VERY careful about putting hands on other people. If they want a hug, they must ask. If they grab my c... More

  • Tiff
    Oct 02

    You should explain to her that nobody (not just men or boys., but other females too) has the right to touch her in any manner that she does not want to be touched. Teach her boundaries and respect of other people's bodies and tell her it's ok to fight against anyone who tries to persist in violating her boundaries afyer she has clearly said no. There should be no need to bring up Stor... More

Anonymous posted in Nontraditional Parenting Sep 16

Guardian

Who is your kids legal guardian if you/and spouse pass away? How did you ask them? Are both sides of the family aware of your choice? Did anyone say no when you asked? How did you decide?

  • Alondra
    Sep 25

    Following

  • Anonymous
    Sep 25

    This is so scary to think about. I don’t even know how to bring it up to my husband because we honestly don’t trust anyone with our son

Zack posted in Adoption Jul 20

Foster parents

Out of curiosity how many foster parents are here? Is this a space mostly for birth parents?

  • Patricia
    Jul 28

    Foster parents are no different. <3

  • Jackie
    Sep 15

    Foster parent here to three under three. 😊

On raising emotionally healthy boys

A thought-provoking read from The Atlantic on why boys need more freedom of expression and more encouragement to be who they are. "It’s a societal loss that so many men grow up believing that showing aggression and stifling emotion are the ways to signal manhood. And it’s a personal loss to countless little boys who, at best, develop mechanisms for compartmentalizing certain aspects of wh... More

any witchy mommas out there? 😊

just a for fun post 🖤 i am a witchy momma lol

Utah just passed legislation that may be the country's first free-range parenting law. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/03/28/utahs-free-range-parenting-law-said-to-be-first-in-the-nation/?tid=ss_tw-bottom&utm_term=.4e65345b3d80

  • Angela
    Apr 26

    Awesome!!!! I grew up free range! In the summer I checked in a couple times a day if I needed food/drink/bathroom. Other than that, nobody even knew where I was! I could be at the creek all day. In the 80’s it was so much easier! [I don’t think the strangers are any different now, we just have access to media in our hands all day to hear about the bad all over the world. ] I have one kid I t... More

  • antigrav_kids
    Apr 27

    Same here! I grew up hiking all over the mountains of NM from 3rd grade one. There were 'illegal' migrant laborer camps, sprinkled through the forest, but no one ever even discussed that that might be safety issue, because it wasn't. My parents new vaguely which direction I'd gone. They trusted me to figure it all out.

Anonymous posted in Nontraditional Parenting Apr 01

All my 420 friendly parents out there... please no negativity if you don’t partake. When did you stop smoking in front of your kids? How old were they? And how did you eventually explain to them what you are doing? My son is almost a year old and he stares at us when we smoke and we’re starting to get sneaky about it.. how did you handle?

  • Anonymous
    Apr 21

    Switched to a vape pen. Vape is just easier and less things to keep out of reach, there is no where is my lighter moments and cleaner. Also easier to have one thing to grab if you get a free moment.

  • Angela
    Apr 26

    We both quit smoking cigarettes 4 years ago. My boys 9 and 13 hated it! I will vape my mmj for a quick pain/anxiety reducer (micro-dosing)! I never smoked mj around them. I wait until evening kick back alone and smoke and hot bath and bed! There are tons of edibles,sprays,oils, even suppositories and lube that are more discrete. My oldest doesn’t really get into much of my daily life, he li... More

Good Morning!! Is anyone on here plant-based // homeschooling?

  • Kerry
    Feb 03

    We aren't plant-based, but we are homeschooling - this is our first year, guess you could call us Charlotte Mason inspired?

  • Ale
    Mar 07

    We just started our plant base journey, but I need help understanding all the food we should be in taking everyday so we don't miss out on any vitamin we need. I've been experiencing headaches, and I'm afraid there are vitamins that were not taking in. I'm sorry more about my kids ages 2, 7, and 9. Any advice would help. We have been homeschooling since my oldest was in kinder.

Has anyone else had to go through the legitimation process with their baby’s father? How did that go? I’m about to go through it and I’d love some insight on what’s to come . Thanks !

  • Tusaji
    Dec 01, 2017

    Ohhh see his name is on the BC but here in ga that doesn’t guarantee you any rights to the child .

  • Ashley
    Dec 06, 2017

    It was the form we filled out that gave him the rights to the child and allowed for his name to be on the birth certificate

This family consists of a married couple and their friend, all legal co-parents of 1 baby. Sounds pretty interesting to me! http://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2017/11/06/three-parent-family

  • Teddy
    Nov 11, 2017

    Yeah I don't know that I would want another mind and opinions thrown in the mix when trying to figure it all out. It's hard enough with 2 people who have (presumably) chosen to be together because of shared values. It is nice to hear about their intentionality. It seems like they really thought things through: the only naivety I see in that is the same you see in all new parents: you c... More

  • Jassmine
    Nov 12, 2017

    It really does takes a village.

Anonymous posted in Infertility Oct 17, 2017

So we conceived our son via ICSI, due to my partners male factors infertility, which only my side of the family knows but not his, and we have the photo of the embryo and not sure to include that to the album but feels odd to hide it. Is it something you'd tell your child eventually? Is it necessary? My partner doesn't want to tell and feels not necessarily either.

  • Anonymous
    Oct 17, 2017

    Thank you so much Sara!

  • Jane
    Oct 24, 2017

    i only went through ovulation induction, but i have photos of the process (all the hair loss, all the office visits, self-injecting practice, ultrasound photos of my ovaries..) and it is a beautiful and key part of my kiddo’s origin story. it will never be hidden from mine. i also share my story when necessary in hopes that people get checked out when having difficulty TTC - it took a year befo... More

So me and my girlfriend(my daughters mom) are not married . And we were planning to baptize our daughter but we got to thinking on how we have not gone to church in years nor do we practice the Catholic religion anymore . I believe that my daughter should be able to make her own decision one day on what religion if any she should be a part of . I just wanted to know if there are any alternati... More

  • Stephanie
    Nov 12, 2017

    Try a religion based school.

  • PedroYsandy
    Mar 22

    Vacation bible schools during the summer are good for kids and you’re not obligated to anything. They are for a few days every summer mostly. Always fun. Different congregations have different ages. Some start from infants. Iglesia de Cristo is bible based. Not tradition based. Everything is proven and you can see for yourself. God bless and it’s very commendable that you want her to choose for... More

This had me sobbing. Such an incredible story about adoption and a parent's love. "I had come to believe that the most important therapy is permanence." https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/11/style/modern-love-four-castaways-make-a-family.html

  • Teddy
    Aug 13, 2017

    I would love to adopt and wish I was able to. We are unfortunately not financially well-off enough to allow it (which bothers me, because as much as I do think all children should be given the best chances and that money helps, I think love and care are more important and I have always had a lot of that to give.)

  • Jacy
    Sep 25, 2017

    Love it. We want to adopt later on, from foster care. The need is so great, I feel such a sense of urgency that I want to move up our planned timeline. I'm thinking of becoming involved in foster care another way until it's the right time for our family - relief care or CASA or something, just not sure what.

"The sad thing, being in a progressive state doesn’t necessarily always mean easy riding either. For instance, the article mentions Alice Eisenberg and Anna Wolk, who live in Brooklyn, had a daughter together. They married before their daughter was born (Eisenberg carried the child), and yet, they’re in the midst of in a second-parent adoption, in order to get Wolk seen as the other parent... More

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