Sex

Judgement-free place for moms and dads to ask questions and discuss sexual health, desire, and intimacy after kids.

Anonymous posted in Education Dec 05

Where do babies come from?

So my 7 yr old knows about how the baby grows and is born but she just asked me how the baby gets into the mommy. She already knows it has something to do with the daddy. I was taken by surprise by this question and luckily was able to distract her off topic easily but I know she’ll ask again. Have any of you had to answer this question from a seven year old any advice?

  • Anonymous
    Dec 07

    I’ve answered my then 4 year old pretty matter of factor about it and he kinda just dismissed it. We really make a big deal out of nothing. The sooner we can have factual conversations about this stuff without putting stigma on it, the better. It will mean in middle and high school they will feel more Comfortable talking to us about it. There are some great resources out there on why we should ... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 07

    I agree with the 2 previous people above . Honestly is best and making it a safe space to talk about .

No sex drive for over a year? Is This Normal or Happening To Anyone Else?

My beautiful daughter turned a year old in September and yet I have yet to get really intimate with my partner and it's been a whole year.A few times we had been intimate I felt great but later on I was disgusted by the thought of what I had done.I am very much attracted to my partner but I am disgusted 85% of the time when he try's to make sexual advances or even at the thought of doin... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 01

    I went through something similar. It turned out, there were some underlying issues with our relationship that took me several months to figure out. But once we both acknowledged the issues, and tried to change, I felt more willing to be intimate. Maybe see if there is anything that could be bugging you underneath the sex?

  • meghan
    Dec 03

    Went through something similar and it ended up being the birth control I was on. Switched brands and had a much better reaction. Worth taking a look at if that’s your situation too.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 04, 2019

Sex...anyone else?

My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. It’s not lack of trying but since our second kid, it’s just not happening. We have really great open, honest and candid communication about it but btwn being exhausted at the end of the day and wanting it at different times, it just stops there. We flirt, fondle, and kiss we just don’t make it to sex. I suppose I’m just looking to see if any one... More

  • HR
    Nov 09, 2019

    I’m in the same boat. If I figure it out, I’ll share my wisdom. Right now I’m just assuming it’ll get better when our little one is older.

Low libido

Anyone know of what gummies/vitamins to take for low libido? I’m not talking about once a month low libido. I’m talking about straight up no interest low libido. I haven’t had sex since approx the baby was 6-8months old, and now he’s turning 2 in January. My husband doesn’t pressure me into having sex cause he knows my “situation” but I think it’s time I do something about it otherwise the rel... More

  • Casey
    Oct 29, 2019

    Are you still nursing? That can be the cause of low libido

  • Anon
    Oct 29, 2019

    Nope I am not nursing. Stopped when the baby was 7 months or so...

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Aug 22, 2019

Sex advice

My husband is a wonderful Dad. He works full time, goes to school and helps around the house. He’s really awesome. We are currently trying to have a second child and to be honest - I do not find my husband physically attractive in a sexy way. I know that I should - for all that he does - but when I look at him in a sexy way - it just doesn’t do anything for me. I’m also a SAHM and am so so ... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 29, 2019

    “My friend recently told me to ask my husband to take the lead one night a week...ie make dinner, clean up, put baby to bed etc in order to give me a break...” 1) If your husband is home, why isn’t he helping out with all of these thing every night? 2) why is the burden on you to ask? He’s a grown man who should be perfectly capable of taking it upon himself to step up and do his part without b... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 29, 2019

    You can always seek professional help. Your gynecologist or general doctor can help. Or you can make a better effort. Put it in the calendar and that day take it easier. Maybe don’t clean as much or take a nap. Do your nails, make up, order take out..etc and make it a purpose to rekindle with your husband. It’s very important for you both.

Any women who had a C section have sex before the 6weeks?

  • Michaela
    Apr 14, 2019

    I wish I had felt that way! I would be careful or gentle because it can get infected, or even try “other ways” lol. You could always call your nurse line.

  • Karen
    Apr 14, 2019

    I did after almost 4 weeks and didn't have any problems at all. We were just very careful.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Apr 12, 2019

Differences in sexual desire?

My husband and I have always been a little switched from the stereotypical couple. I’m the one who constantly wants sex, and my husband doesn’t feel that it’s as important as other things in a marriage. In my personal opinion, a sexless marriage isn’t a marriage. For me, sex is a way to gauge how we are as a couple. If things are good, and we are communicating well and relatively content, we ar... More

  • jxn8tors
    Apr 12, 2019

    Have his testosterone checked.

  • Lily
    May 09, 2019

    Agree with jxn8tors, have him get his testosterone checked. My husband was only 21 and his was really low.....never really wanted sex. Now it is normal and sex drive is up

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Mar 30, 2019

bed sharing and sex?

For parents that share the bed with their LO, how often are you really having sex?

  • Carisa
    Apr 01, 2019

    With my first one I still had sex like 3x a week. With my second, like 1x a week.

  • Yami
    Apr 15, 2019

    We have sex almost every other day. We just let the little guy fall asleep and move him to his bed while we have some mommy daddy time. He usually wakes up soon after and comes back to bed with us but so far so good. This method definitely has an expiration date so keep that in mind but for now maybe give it a try

How often do you have sex

Hi mommas, very personal question but how often do you all have sex? My husband has a high sex drive and wants it ALL the time. We have it at least 3-4 times a week and that’s not enough for him. I work full time nannying 3 kids( ages 3, 2 & 9 months) and I bring my own 2( ages 2 and 9 months) with me so total I have 5 kids under age 4 that I watch. I’m sooo tired during the week so it’s ha... More

  • Anonymous
    Apr 08, 2019

    Don’t hate me for saying this, but my husband and I both have very high sex drives. Before baby it was 4-5x a week, and after it can vary anywhere from 2-5x.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 12

    Only once since our 2 year old was born. My wife has no interest.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jan 31, 2019

Sex after a 2 years break

I know it sounds crazy but we went through a very difficult phase since our LO is born and never had sex since his birth (will be 2 next month). How to have sex again? My husband is not asking for it...

  • Alexza
    Jan 31, 2019

    I think you should have a conversation with your husband since you had a difficult phase since your son was born. And if there you and him can figure out the next steps to having intimacy again. Hope this helps!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Dec 29, 2018

Let’s talk about sexy time, or lack thereof

I recently had my first baby she now 5 months (I had her with NO EPIDURAL 😩) she sleeps thru the night so there’s plenty of time for daddy and I to have sexy time and he tries but I find myself ALWAYS pushing him away. We use to be like bunny’s but now post baby I feel like something changed? How do I get that spark back? Am I the only one having this problem? He’s starting to feel like I’m uni... More

  • Jenn
    Jan 01, 2019

    I second Jenn’s experience. I’m 15 mo pp and just now starting to feel sexual again. Same with my first babe. BF definitely doesn’t help, nor does not having cycles. I was told to just “get back on that horse” for my honey’s sake with my first babe and I’ve had resentment and some trauma to heal from that. My honey has hated the past year of me pushing him away, but apparently that’s what I nee... More

  • Tyler
    Jan 15, 2019

    Everyone use to bang like crazy....or some version of that. Hormone levels play a huge part on both sides, get them checked. Also I think you typically work alot closer together when you have kids, spend more time together, sleep less, worry more etc. Point being many things have changed and the “we use to go at it like bunnies” comment has nothing to do with how often you do it now. The gam... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 27, 2018

Sex drive after baby is born

Hey so my baby is 7 months old. And my fiance and I tried having sex at like 3 months post birth and it hurt so we said we can try later but since then I have had very very little desire to do anything sexual. I am tired all the time, my fiance and I have many stressors out side of our relationship and we tend to argue a decent amount about different things(all healthy though) but when I'm ... More

  • Jill
    Nov 27, 2018

    This totally happen to me. I hated even the thought of having sex knowing what just happen down there. It did hurt. The tiredness will never go away lol but it’s a normal for most of us that we get used too. Try some lube and just tell him how you’re feeling. Men are ready to go all the time and after a baby, I am not. I need to be romanced and have some fore play. So maybe just take a shower... More

  • Elle
    Nov 27, 2018

    Waking routinely 2-3 times / night could be doing it! That's some serious sleep deprivation. Prisoners don't even get that treatment. 7 months of that is really harsh on your body, too. Getting a few sessions/week of 30 minutes of break-a-sweat kind of exercise (ie jogging, running, biking, swimming laps) will regulate hormones and reduce stress too. PPA is post partum anxiety. I sugg... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 14, 2018

Sex drive

Our kid is 18 months old and we haven't had sex since birth. Should I be worried? How did you get back into it? My husband says he doesn’t want to.

  • Lily
    Nov 15, 2018

    I would have him checked for low testosterone, it wasn’t 18 months with my husband but he had very low testosterone....and it happened about the same time we had our baby. He is on meds for it now, and that part of our life is much better now. Men can be very sensitive about it, so you gotta bring it up in a good way. Also just have a talk with him, because that is way too long!!!!

  • Anonymous
    Nov 20, 2018

    Thanks lily. Had no idea about the low testosterone. How did you convince yours to get tested?

Anonymous posted in Sex Nov 10, 2018

Mommy issues please help

So my daughter is almost 14 months and I'm sorry if this is to personal but i haven't been with any man besides her father which was back when i was about 7 months pregnant so i haven't had sex in almost a year and a half but ever since I've had her i can't get aroused anymore when i try to have sex or sometimes even the thought of it makes me nervous and causes me such bad ... More

  • Katrina
    Nov 16, 2018

    Are you breast feeding? If so it could be hormones, if not I would suggest therapy. You are adjusting to a lot of new things and therapy can help you make sense of these things and help walk you through them.

  • Noel
    Jun 11, 2019

    If your child was less than a year old, then yeah it's hormones. But after a year, the hormones should be balanced out by now. This sounds more like insecurity matched with some bad anxiety. You could try talking with your Dr and maybe getting on anxiety meds. Or talking with a therapist to help control your mind so that you don't have panic attacks like that.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 08, 2018

Intimacy

My husband has been a stay at home husband for a few years now with me. We have 2 kids and for a long time now I haven’t been in the mood to have sex. Now I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any friends, so I never go out or it could be because I see him 24/7. I need help :(

  • Amanda
    Nov 09, 2018

    I had to pretty much make myself have sex with my husband and then after awhile of just having sex at least 1-2 a wk it finally got back on track. I think it was just my hormones and they fact that I didn’t feel comfortable with my body since I just had babies.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 11, 2018

    It’s normal for things like this to happen. Its a matter of finding a way to spice things up with your husband. Make yourself feel beautiful and sexy because you are! Get yourself in the mood after the kids are in bed. Do a little role playing as well for some fun & some build up!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 07, 2018

Sex during your pregnancy

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We had our first daughter together in 2016 and we are now expecting another beautiful baby girl this month. Usually we have no problem when it comes to being intimate and no issues during my first pregnancy but I am always in the mood and he doesn’t even want to touch me. I finally asked why and he explained it’s awkward and my belly is too big ... More

  • Jay
    Nov 07, 2018

    If you guys never had any infidelity issues than I definitely wouldn’t be worried. I know every marriage is different but I trust my husband we both know where each other is at all times there’s constant communication. If he isn’t himself I give him time to open up sometimes he’s stressed from work and so many different things. Only you truly know him and your marriage. Your pregnant this is a ... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08, 2018

    It may be nothing. I know my husband struggled at first with anxiety about finances and of having two kids instead of one. Once we talked it got a lot better.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 02, 2018

Lost libido during pregnancy

I’m in my second trimester and I just don’t want to have sex at all. I want my husband’s hugs and kisses, but when he tried one step further I resisted so bad,not only sex but even some touch! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My husband and I don’t hug very often. Most of the time we just sat in the room doing our own thing...quite spiritual. But recently I started to feel I have less and le... More

  • Lily
    Nov 08, 2018

    This is my third time, and Starting at about 6 weeks, I just don’t want sex until after the baby. I just feel like crap. But like you, I still want attention. Some days I am okay doing it, so I go for it then. That got us through. But, really talking about it, telling him you have a person growing inside you and you don’t feel like it.

  • Ivy
    Nov 08, 2018

    I didn't struggle while pregnant, but did struggle so much, every time after having the baby and throughout the whole breastfeeding stage. I was so discouraged by the fact that I couldn't even get wet and we had to use lube. What I started to do eventually, was get myself into a kinky mood. On days where I know we haven't had sex in a while, I would get creative to put myself into ... More

Anonymous posted in Sex Oct 29, 2018

No sex life.

My husband and I have no sex life It’s not just days, weeks, months but it is YEARS. Almost 3! We have intimacy, we kiss and hug throughout the day, cuddle and he does cute things like slaps me on my bum while I’m cooking dinner. We have occasional date nights too. I honestly just don’t know how to get in the mood. I just can’t “do it,” — and I’m not a very sexual or sensual person. We ar... More

  • Michelle
    Dec 05, 2018

    Hug longer, touch more and make out.....all of this puts me in the mood. Then, even if it doesn’t, I lead him to the room and as soon as he starts it..I finally get in the mood. Good luck!!

  • Tino
    Jan 16, 2019

    I think for a woman, it’s a lot to do about being “just a woman” Meaning, being intentional about putting down the “mom hat”, the “wife hat” and just enjoying a time for yourself. Finding things that take up a little of your tome for just you. It isn’t selfish, it is being sure that all you offer to your husband and your kids is the best of you … not just “everything you are” just for the sa... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Oct 15, 2018

How long did you HONESTLY wait to have sexual intercourse after having your baby?

My sister is 3 weeks postpartum and she wants to have sexual intercourse and doesn’t want to wait anymore. I told her she already waited this long and if she can wait a few more weeks it’ll be worth it because she NEEDS to heal. She won’t listen to me though and I’m pretty sure she’s going to do it anyways. So have any of you had sexual intercourse before the 6 week mark??

  • Vonda
    Oct 19, 2018

    I waited till after the 6 weeks mark. I just didn’t feel comfortable emotionally as well as physically. At 6 weeks you generally talk with your doctor about birth control methods, make sure you are healing properly etc. you want to make sure to wait at least 6 weeks to heal properly. I had stitches so it was very important that I wait 6 weeks. Among all the usual reasons.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 05, 2018

    I had 4 cesarean sections. After 1st I waited 3 weeks, 2nd waited 5 weeks, 3rd waited 5 weeks and 4th was about 8 weeks. Dr. did not say to wait any amount of time. Just whenever we felt ready and to make sure to use protection until checkup and on birth control.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 27, 2018

1st time mom, to a 20 month old and I'm just not into sex anymore.

Hi ladies this is a sensitive topic. I'm an older first time mom in my early 40s. My kids is almost 2 and I still have very little interest in sex. My husband and I have sex but I'm just not that into it. I don't think about it AT ALL it's nt even on the radar until he brings it up. I'm also starting a business and I'm so excited about this new venture and my little girl... More

  • Ann
    Aug 31, 2018

    Sometimes it takes time to get your groove back . Give yourself some (Me time )

  • Alexandra
    Sep 05, 2018

    I’m currently 28 and had mine at 25 ...this is exactly how I felt down to feeling like it was me and baby against the world...two things to remember that helped me: 1) it is perfectly normal to go through periods of not wanting sexual activity 2) It takes a full two years for a woman’s body to be fully recovered from pregnancy. Hormones and all! Don’t be hard on yourself about this issue and if... More

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