Sex

Judgement-free place for moms and dads to ask questions and discuss sexual health, desire, and intimacy after kids.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 27

Sex drive after baby is born

Hey so my baby is 7 months old. And my fiance and I tried having sex at like 3 months post birth and it hurt so we said we can try later but since then I have had very very little desire to do anything sexual. I am tired all the time, my fiance and I have many stressors out side of our relationship and we tend to argue a decent amount about different things(all healthy though) but when I'm ... More

  • Jill
    Nov 27

    This totally happen to me. I hated even the thought of having sex knowing what just happen down there. It did hurt. The tiredness will never go away lol but it’s a normal for most of us that we get used too. Try some lube and just tell him how you’re feeling. Men are ready to go all the time and after a baby, I am not. I need to be romanced and have some fore play. So maybe just take a shower... More

  • Elle
    Nov 27

    Waking routinely 2-3 times / night could be doing it! That's some serious sleep deprivation. Prisoners don't even get that treatment. 7 months of that is really harsh on your body, too. Getting a few sessions/week of 30 minutes of break-a-sweat kind of exercise (ie jogging, running, biking, swimming laps) will regulate hormones and reduce stress too. PPA is post partum anxiety. I sugg... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 14

Sex drive

Our kid is 18 months old and we haven't had sex since birth. Should I be worried? How did you get back into it? My husband says he doesn’t want to.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 20

    Thanks lily. Had no idea about the low testosterone. How did you convince yours to get tested?

  • natalia
    Nov 20

    Urination

Anonymous posted in Sex Nov 10

Mommy issues please help

So my daughter is almost 14 months and I'm sorry if this is to personal but i haven't been with any man besides her father which was back when i was about 7 months pregnant so i haven't had sex in almost a year and a half but ever since I've had her i can't get aroused anymore when i try to have sex or sometimes even the thought of it makes me nervous and causes me such bad ... More

  • Frank
    Nov 14

    Hormones give yourself time

  • Katrina
    Nov 16

    Are you breast feeding? If so it could be hormones, if not I would suggest therapy. You are adjusting to a lot of new things and therapy can help you make sense of these things and help walk you through them.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 08

Intimacy

My husband has been a stay at home husband for a few years now with me. We have 2 kids and for a long time now I haven’t been in the mood to have sex. Now I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any friends, so I never go out or it could be because I see him 24/7. I need help :(

  • Amanda
    Nov 09

    I had to pretty much make myself have sex with my husband and then after awhile of just having sex at least 1-2 a wk it finally got back on track. I think it was just my hormones and they fact that I didn’t feel comfortable with my body since I just had babies.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 11

    It’s normal for things like this to happen. Its a matter of finding a way to spice things up with your husband. Make yourself feel beautiful and sexy because you are! Get yourself in the mood after the kids are in bed. Do a little role playing as well for some fun & some build up!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 07

Sex during your pregnancy

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We had our first daughter together in 2016 and we are now expecting another beautiful baby girl this month. Usually we have no problem when it comes to being intimate and no issues during my first pregnancy but I am always in the mood and he doesn’t even want to touch me. I finally asked why and he explained it’s awkward and my belly is too big ... More

  • Jay
    Nov 07

    If you guys never had any infidelity issues than I definitely wouldn’t be worried. I know every marriage is different but I trust my husband we both know where each other is at all times there’s constant communication. If he isn’t himself I give him time to open up sometimes he’s stressed from work and so many different things. Only you truly know him and your marriage. Your pregnant this is a ... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08

    It may be nothing. I know my husband struggled at first with anxiety about finances and of having two kids instead of one. Once we talked it got a lot better.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 02

Lost libido during pregnancy

I’m in my second trimester and I just don’t want to have sex at all. I want my husband’s hugs and kisses, but when he tried one step further I resisted so bad,not only sex but even some touch! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My husband and I don’t hug very often. Most of the time we just sat in the room doing our own thing...quite spiritual. But recently I started to feel I have less and le... More

  • Lily
    Nov 08

    This is my third time, and Starting at about 6 weeks, I just don’t want sex until after the baby. I just feel like crap. But like you, I still want attention. Some days I am okay doing it, so I go for it then. That got us through. But, really talking about it, telling him you have a person growing inside you and you don’t feel like it.

  • Ivy
    Nov 08

    I didn't struggle while pregnant, but did struggle so much, every time after having the baby and throughout the whole breastfeeding stage. I was so discouraged by the fact that I couldn't even get wet and we had to use lube. What I started to do eventually, was get myself into a kinky mood. On days where I know we haven't had sex in a while, I would get creative to put myself into ... More

Anonymous posted in Sex Oct 29

No sex life.

My husband and I have no sex life It’s not just days, weeks, months but it is YEARS. Almost 3! We have intimacy, we kiss and hug throughout the day, cuddle and he does cute things like slaps me on my bum while I’m cooking dinner. We have occasional date nights too. I honestly just don’t know how to get in the mood. I just can’t “do it,” — and I’m not a very sexual or sensual person. We ar... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 02

    Here the same! It’s been a year no sex and I’m afraid he could find some one else just for that! 😑

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    Hug longer, touch more and make out.....all of this puts me in the mood. Then, even if it doesn’t, I lead him to the room and as soon as he starts it..I finally get in the mood. Good luck!!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Oct 15

How long did you HONESTLY wait to have sexual intercourse after having your baby?

My sister is 3 weeks postpartum and she wants to have sexual intercourse and doesn’t want to wait anymore. I told her she already waited this long and if she can wait a few more weeks it’ll be worth it because she NEEDS to heal. She won’t listen to me though and I’m pretty sure she’s going to do it anyways. So have any of you had sexual intercourse before the 6 week mark??

  • Vonda
    Oct 19

    I waited till after the 6 weeks mark. I just didn’t feel comfortable emotionally as well as physically. At 6 weeks you generally talk with your doctor about birth control methods, make sure you are healing properly etc. you want to make sure to wait at least 6 weeks to heal properly. I had stitches so it was very important that I wait 6 weeks. Among all the usual reasons.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 05

    I had 4 cesarean sections. After 1st I waited 3 weeks, 2nd waited 5 weeks, 3rd waited 5 weeks and 4th was about 8 weeks. Dr. did not say to wait any amount of time. Just whenever we felt ready and to make sure to use protection until checkup and on birth control.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 27

1st time mom, to a 20 month old and I'm just not into sex anymore.

Hi ladies this is a sensitive topic. I'm an older first time mom in my early 40s. My kids is almost 2 and I still have very little interest in sex. My husband and I have sex but I'm just not that into it. I don't think about it AT ALL it's nt even on the radar until he brings it up. I'm also starting a business and I'm so excited about this new venture and my little girl... More

  • Ann
    Aug 31

    Sometimes it takes time to get your groove back . Give yourself some (Me time )

  • Alexandra
    Sep 05

    I’m currently 28 and had mine at 25 ...this is exactly how I felt down to feeling like it was me and baby against the world...two things to remember that helped me: 1) it is perfectly normal to go through periods of not wanting sexual activity 2) It takes a full two years for a woman’s body to be fully recovered from pregnancy. Hormones and all! Don’t be hard on yourself about this issue and if... More

Anonymous posted in For Moms Aug 14

Sex Drive

Any fixes for complete loss of sex drive? I love my husband and am attracted to him but I can't get myself to want sex even a little. I'm EBF and postpartum 4 months. I'm tired of the fights it's causing plus I think it just makes my husband feel sad :( any suggestions would be appreciated

  • Paige
    Aug 22

    Look into PEAK Vitamin Spray. It’s helps increase Libido. ;)

  • Anonymous
    Aug 22

    Just don’t have vaginal sex, give him a hand? Or if you do, use lots of lube and lots of vitamins!

Jackeline posted in Sex Aug 13

Boy talk?

My soon to be 12 year old keeps bring up boys. Her friends are all dating but I think it’s way to young for her to have a boy friend. Is it me or am I being to way over protective? I all ready had all the mom and daughter talks about sex and going through young womanhood? What are your thoughts and how can I also bring this up to my husband without him losing his bananas?

  • Alissa
    Aug 14

    Agree on the "boyfriend" aspect. However, what she is thinking about and feeling is completely normal for her body, at her age. I would certainly try your best to just listen to her talk about boys, her feelings, thoughts and her friends. Try not to advise, offer your opinion or get upset. Ask her, instead about how it makes her feel, what she thinks her friends think and feel and an... More

  • Ashley
    Sep 06

    I think it is completely normal for what your daughter is feeling. What's best for her is for you to be honest and open as parents. The best thing is that she is confident talking to you about and her father about what's she's feeling. At the end of the day you don't have to allow her to go anywhere alone with the boy but maybe its ok for her to explore what it means to have ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 12

Anyone else have loss of sex drive after having baby?

I am 7 months postpartum, and still have little to no drive. I am still breastfeeding, so I know that has something to do with it hormonally. This was the same with our first child. When I went to the doctor after first baby I talked with him about that and how I would get angry easily. He said it's probably just loss if sleep and that will change with more sleep. After our second child, I&... More

  • Bobbie
    Oct 02

    I had my daughter 2 years ago and my sex drive has yet to return. I’ve had my hormone levels tested and all checks out normal. The stress of being a mommy can really take a toll physically and mentally. When you’re stressed and exhausted, sex is the last thing on the mind.

  • Chantal
    Oct 07

    Omg y’all are scaring me. Pregnant with my 2nd child... i was hormone crazy my first pregnancy Nd after...the same with this one but i plan on breast feeding this time around

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 10

Marriage in a rut.

My marriage is in a rut. Especially in sex. My husband works and travels a lot and I stay at home with our son. My hubby works long hours, but is a very active Dad and a good husband. He helps with meals and cleans too. He works at night sometimes which is fine to me since he is the provider. I feel so emotionally disconnected from him since our son was born (son will be two in Dec) and we ... More

  • Latoya
    Sep 11

    Just joined and found your post. You have to communicate with him. Find things that you can do together with the baby since I know a sitter is an issue. Pack a picnic, go for a walk at your local park and just sit and talk. Since his weight is an issue for you, encouraging him to get out and be active might help.

  • Liz
    Sep 21

    Try new things maybe ? KY lube for him and her can help out maybe

Anonymous posted in Sex Jul 12

Low libido

Any moms out there who have no desire for sex anymore?

  • Anna
    Jul 17

    Used to be a rabbit but after I had her I’m not interested. She’s 9 months 🤭 wondering if it’s a hormonal thing??

  • Anonymous
    Jul 28

    Wondering what to do...

Anonymous posted in Sex Jul 11

I feel like I’m never satisfied. 😭

We’re now 3 months pp(c-section), and I have yet to ‘finish’ during sex since I was pregnant. We could literally keep going forever and I feel like I would never climax. Anyone else have this issue? I guess every gal is different with what gets them going, but idk.. I feel like I want it to happen so badly at this point that I focus too hard and psych myself out. I feel like we are doing all... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 12

    Hormones! I have had this issue as well. It feels like a dessert down there. I would take attention away from the climax and focus on the feelings and sensations you do get during sex. That might just be enough to push you over the edge.

Hysterectomy!!

I'm 29 and going in for a full hysterectomy next month. I dont know what to expect ? Any advice ??

  • Kim
    Jul 07

    HeyKatie. . I'm having one for medical reasons too. I'm already in pre menopause - my dr is going to put me on hormone therapy

  • Paige
    Sep 17

    Avoid stairs afterward and take at least a couple weeks off from work-maybe even months. Eat a healthy diet to stay feeling energetic and to avoid weight gain due to lack of exercise... walk A LOT.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jun 29

Sex drive dead?

Did anyone else completely lose their sex drive? I mean it almost seems gross. I really only want to when I'm ovulating. This is starting to really get to my husband. He thinks I don't find him attractive anymore. Am I the only one this has happened to?

  • Shauna
    Jul 01

    You should try Tribulus

  • Wenonah
    Aug 06

    I feel the same way. My boyfriend always asks but I’m just never in the mood. When we go out on dates he always expects to end the night with sex. Now I’m starting to hate date night! When I turn him down I can see his insecurities coming out. I try to explain to him it’s not him and I still love him, care for him and no there’s no one else. Hopefully my sex drive comes back soon for the sake o... More

Anonymous posted in Postpartum Recovery Jun 24

Had episiotomy and have yet to be sexually active again. Will my vagina be looser?

  • Elle
    Jun 25

    👍 👍 👍, @Noël

  • Caitlin
    Jun 30

    No probably if anything tighter I’ve had six kids trust me I know

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jun 16

Honestly, I have no idea what to do for father's day. Help!

My husband and I have been going through a whole lot in our marriage. He is certainly not the romantic type and honestly it hurts because that's another way we could be intimate. He didn't do really anything for me on my first mothers day or the second.. He does love me very much and wants to spend his life with me and all.. I really want to do so much for him because he is a great pers... More

  • K
    Jun 17

    Soooo, can't help with fathers day, but can relate to a lot. I don't have answers (sorry) but just wanted to let you know you're not the only one. I lost my sex drive years ago. I want to see what modern medicine can do for me. I found testosterone (topically) to work a treat. Remember he is your partner, you guys are a team. Hang in there, you got this.

  • Anonymous
    Jun 17

    Thanks, Father's day went well. I bought him a personalized wallet, which his was so outdated. He was happy. We also had a good time in bed, though I wasn't fully turned on and certainly not wet. It's very disappointing.. I know my system works.. Tbh I have felt something being around another guy, but of course I freaked out and cried bc I can't feel that with my husband. What a... More

Anonymous posted in Sex May 03

I asked my wife tonight if we were ever going to have sex again. She said she hopes so, but we have no adult rapport and she sees me as a child who doesn't carry a conversation or stand up for himself; she added she has no interest in having sex with a child she needs to take care of. She went further and asked why this seemed like new news to me, as she's told me this before. After c... More

  • Jamie
    May 14

    Wtf? Enough with this whiny bs! Stand up for yourself! If she can't move past being a judgmental bitch then screw her(or don't!) Honestly why would you want too? Plenty of fish in the sea dude. Move on, u can be just as good a dad without having to be belittled by someone so selfish and ignorant! Give her back her own bs an allow her to go on living her meaningless, hateful life on her... More

  • Ashley
    May 14

    Wow, that is rough. Honestly, it sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. It might do you well to go see a counselor by yourself who specializes in domestic abuse. They can possibly bring your self esteem back up to where it needs to be to approach her head on and assertively to assess whether or not this is a relationship worth saving. There seems to be quite a lot of resentment between... More

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