Sex

Judgement-free place for moms and dads to ask questions and discuss sexual health, desire, and intimacy after kids.

How often do you have sex

Hi mommas, very personal question but how often do you all have sex? My husband has a high sex drive and wants it ALL the time. We have it at least 3-4 times a week and that’s not enough for him. I work full time nannying 3 kids( ages 3, 2 & 9 months) and I bring my own 2( ages 2 and 9 months) with me so total I have 5 kids under age 4 that I watch. I’m sooo tired during the week so it’s ha... More

  • Gina
    Thursday

    Why are so many of you having sex even though you don't want to?!?!?!?! If you are being forced or pressured--directly or indirectly--to have sex out of fear of an unhappy partner, please know that this is not okay.

  • Caitlin
    5h ago

    It used to be like... once or twice a year? Which sucked on my end, but my spouse didn’t want to have sex, so we didn’t. No pressure. I have a very high sex drive, they have a very low one, but I’d never pressure them to have sex or make them feel like they have to. Lately we’ve been having sex 2-4 times a week, I think? Which has been great! But I make sure my partner knows they don’t have to,... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jan 31

Sex after a 2 years break

I know it sounds crazy but we went through a very difficult phase since our LO is born and never had sex since his birth (will be 2 next month). How to have sex again? My husband is not asking for it...

  • Alexza
    Jan 31

    I think you should have a conversation with your husband since you had a difficult phase since your son was born. And if there you and him can figure out the next steps to having intimacy again. Hope this helps!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Dec 29

Let’s talk about sexy time, or lack thereof

I recently had my first baby she now 5 months (I had her with NO EPIDURAL 😩) she sleeps thru the night so there’s plenty of time for daddy and I to have sexy time and he tries but I find myself ALWAYS pushing him away. We use to be like bunny’s but now post baby I feel like something changed? How do I get that spark back? Am I the only one having this problem? He’s starting to feel like I’m uni... More

  • Jenn
    Jan 01

    I second Jenn’s experience. I’m 15 mo pp and just now starting to feel sexual again. Same with my first babe. BF definitely doesn’t help, nor does not having cycles. I was told to just “get back on that horse” for my honey’s sake with my first babe and I’ve had resentment and some trauma to heal from that. My honey has hated the past year of me pushing him away, but apparently that’s what I nee... More

  • Tyler
    Jan 15

    Everyone use to bang like crazy....or some version of that. Hormone levels play a huge part on both sides, get them checked. Also I think you typically work alot closer together when you have kids, spend more time together, sleep less, worry more etc. Point being many things have changed and the “we use to go at it like bunnies” comment has nothing to do with how often you do it now. The gam... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 27

Sex drive after baby is born

Hey so my baby is 7 months old. And my fiance and I tried having sex at like 3 months post birth and it hurt so we said we can try later but since then I have had very very little desire to do anything sexual. I am tired all the time, my fiance and I have many stressors out side of our relationship and we tend to argue a decent amount about different things(all healthy though) but when I'm ... More

  • Jill
    Nov 27

    This totally happen to me. I hated even the thought of having sex knowing what just happen down there. It did hurt. The tiredness will never go away lol but it’s a normal for most of us that we get used too. Try some lube and just tell him how you’re feeling. Men are ready to go all the time and after a baby, I am not. I need to be romanced and have some fore play. So maybe just take a shower... More

  • Elle
    Nov 27

    Waking routinely 2-3 times / night could be doing it! That's some serious sleep deprivation. Prisoners don't even get that treatment. 7 months of that is really harsh on your body, too. Getting a few sessions/week of 30 minutes of break-a-sweat kind of exercise (ie jogging, running, biking, swimming laps) will regulate hormones and reduce stress too. PPA is post partum anxiety. I sugg... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 14, 2018

Sex drive

Our kid is 18 months old and we haven't had sex since birth. Should I be worried? How did you get back into it? My husband says he doesn’t want to.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 20

    Thanks lily. Had no idea about the low testosterone. How did you convince yours to get tested?

  • natalia
    Nov 20

    Urination

Anonymous posted in Sex Nov 10, 2018

Mommy issues please help

So my daughter is almost 14 months and I'm sorry if this is to personal but i haven't been with any man besides her father which was back when i was about 7 months pregnant so i haven't had sex in almost a year and a half but ever since I've had her i can't get aroused anymore when i try to have sex or sometimes even the thought of it makes me nervous and causes me such bad ... More

  • Frank
    Nov 14, 2018

    Hormones give yourself time

  • Katrina
    Nov 16, 2018

    Are you breast feeding? If so it could be hormones, if not I would suggest therapy. You are adjusting to a lot of new things and therapy can help you make sense of these things and help walk you through them.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 08, 2018

Intimacy

My husband has been a stay at home husband for a few years now with me. We have 2 kids and for a long time now I haven’t been in the mood to have sex. Now I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have any friends, so I never go out or it could be because I see him 24/7. I need help :(

  • Amanda
    Nov 09, 2018

    I had to pretty much make myself have sex with my husband and then after awhile of just having sex at least 1-2 a wk it finally got back on track. I think it was just my hormones and they fact that I didn’t feel comfortable with my body since I just had babies.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 11, 2018

    It’s normal for things like this to happen. Its a matter of finding a way to spice things up with your husband. Make yourself feel beautiful and sexy because you are! Get yourself in the mood after the kids are in bed. Do a little role playing as well for some fun & some build up!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 07, 2018

Sex during your pregnancy

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We had our first daughter together in 2016 and we are now expecting another beautiful baby girl this month. Usually we have no problem when it comes to being intimate and no issues during my first pregnancy but I am always in the mood and he doesn’t even want to touch me. I finally asked why and he explained it’s awkward and my belly is too big ... More

  • Jay
    Nov 07, 2018

    If you guys never had any infidelity issues than I definitely wouldn’t be worried. I know every marriage is different but I trust my husband we both know where each other is at all times there’s constant communication. If he isn’t himself I give him time to open up sometimes he’s stressed from work and so many different things. Only you truly know him and your marriage. Your pregnant this is a ... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 08, 2018

    It may be nothing. I know my husband struggled at first with anxiety about finances and of having two kids instead of one. Once we talked it got a lot better.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Nov 02, 2018

Lost libido during pregnancy

I’m in my second trimester and I just don’t want to have sex at all. I want my husband’s hugs and kisses, but when he tried one step further I resisted so bad,not only sex but even some touch! I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My husband and I don’t hug very often. Most of the time we just sat in the room doing our own thing...quite spiritual. But recently I started to feel I have less and le... More

  • Lily
    Nov 08, 2018

    This is my third time, and Starting at about 6 weeks, I just don’t want sex until after the baby. I just feel like crap. But like you, I still want attention. Some days I am okay doing it, so I go for it then. That got us through. But, really talking about it, telling him you have a person growing inside you and you don’t feel like it.

  • Ivy
    Nov 08, 2018

    I didn't struggle while pregnant, but did struggle so much, every time after having the baby and throughout the whole breastfeeding stage. I was so discouraged by the fact that I couldn't even get wet and we had to use lube. What I started to do eventually, was get myself into a kinky mood. On days where I know we haven't had sex in a while, I would get creative to put myself into ... More

Anonymous posted in Sex Oct 29, 2018

No sex life.

My husband and I have no sex life It’s not just days, weeks, months but it is YEARS. Almost 3! We have intimacy, we kiss and hug throughout the day, cuddle and he does cute things like slaps me on my bum while I’m cooking dinner. We have occasional date nights too. I honestly just don’t know how to get in the mood. I just can’t “do it,” — and I’m not a very sexual or sensual person. We ar... More

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    Hug longer, touch more and make out.....all of this puts me in the mood. Then, even if it doesn’t, I lead him to the room and as soon as he starts it..I finally get in the mood. Good luck!!

  • Tino
    Jan 16

    I think for a woman, it’s a lot to do about being “just a woman” Meaning, being intentional about putting down the “mom hat”, the “wife hat” and just enjoying a time for yourself. Finding things that take up a little of your tome for just you. It isn’t selfish, it is being sure that all you offer to your husband and your kids is the best of you … not just “everything you are” just for the sa... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Oct 15, 2018

How long did you HONESTLY wait to have sexual intercourse after having your baby?

My sister is 3 weeks postpartum and she wants to have sexual intercourse and doesn’t want to wait anymore. I told her she already waited this long and if she can wait a few more weeks it’ll be worth it because she NEEDS to heal. She won’t listen to me though and I’m pretty sure she’s going to do it anyways. So have any of you had sexual intercourse before the 6 week mark??

  • Vonda
    Oct 19, 2018

    I waited till after the 6 weeks mark. I just didn’t feel comfortable emotionally as well as physically. At 6 weeks you generally talk with your doctor about birth control methods, make sure you are healing properly etc. you want to make sure to wait at least 6 weeks to heal properly. I had stitches so it was very important that I wait 6 weeks. Among all the usual reasons.

  • Anonymous
    Nov 05, 2018

    I had 4 cesarean sections. After 1st I waited 3 weeks, 2nd waited 5 weeks, 3rd waited 5 weeks and 4th was about 8 weeks. Dr. did not say to wait any amount of time. Just whenever we felt ready and to make sure to use protection until checkup and on birth control.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 27, 2018

1st time mom, to a 20 month old and I'm just not into sex anymore.

Hi ladies this is a sensitive topic. I'm an older first time mom in my early 40s. My kids is almost 2 and I still have very little interest in sex. My husband and I have sex but I'm just not that into it. I don't think about it AT ALL it's nt even on the radar until he brings it up. I'm also starting a business and I'm so excited about this new venture and my little girl... More

  • Ann
    Aug 31, 2018

    Sometimes it takes time to get your groove back . Give yourself some (Me time )

  • Alexandra
    Sep 05, 2018

    I’m currently 28 and had mine at 25 ...this is exactly how I felt down to feeling like it was me and baby against the world...two things to remember that helped me: 1) it is perfectly normal to go through periods of not wanting sexual activity 2) It takes a full two years for a woman’s body to be fully recovered from pregnancy. Hormones and all! Don’t be hard on yourself about this issue and if... More

Anonymous posted in For Moms Aug 14, 2018

Sex Drive

Any fixes for complete loss of sex drive? I love my husband and am attracted to him but I can't get myself to want sex even a little. I'm EBF and postpartum 4 months. I'm tired of the fights it's causing plus I think it just makes my husband feel sad :( any suggestions would be appreciated

  • Paige
    Aug 22, 2018

    Look into PEAK Vitamin Spray. It’s helps increase Libido. ;)

  • Anonymous
    Aug 22, 2018

    Just don’t have vaginal sex, give him a hand? Or if you do, use lots of lube and lots of vitamins!

Boy talk?

My soon to be 12 year old keeps bring up boys. Her friends are all dating but I think it’s way to young for her to have a boy friend. Is it me or am I being to way over protective? I all ready had all the mom and daughter talks about sex and going through young womanhood? What are your thoughts and how can I also bring this up to my husband without him losing his bananas?

  • Alissa
    Aug 14, 2018

    Agree on the "boyfriend" aspect. However, what she is thinking about and feeling is completely normal for her body, at her age. I would certainly try your best to just listen to her talk about boys, her feelings, thoughts and her friends. Try not to advise, offer your opinion or get upset. Ask her, instead about how it makes her feel, what she thinks her friends think and feel and an... More

  • Ashley
    Sep 06, 2018

    I think it is completely normal for what your daughter is feeling. What's best for her is for you to be honest and open as parents. The best thing is that she is confident talking to you about and her father about what's she's feeling. At the end of the day you don't have to allow her to go anywhere alone with the boy but maybe its ok for her to explore what it means to have ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 12, 2018

Anyone else have loss of sex drive after having baby?

I am 7 months postpartum, and still have little to no drive. I am still breastfeeding, so I know that has something to do with it hormonally. This was the same with our first child. When I went to the doctor after first baby I talked with him about that and how I would get angry easily. He said it's probably just loss if sleep and that will change with more sleep. After our second child, I&... More

  • Bobbie
    Oct 02, 2018

    I had my daughter 2 years ago and my sex drive has yet to return. I’ve had my hormone levels tested and all checks out normal. The stress of being a mommy can really take a toll physically and mentally. When you’re stressed and exhausted, sex is the last thing on the mind.

  • Chantal
    Oct 07, 2018

    Omg y’all are scaring me. Pregnant with my 2nd child... i was hormone crazy my first pregnancy Nd after...the same with this one but i plan on breast feeding this time around

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 10, 2018

Marriage in a rut.

My marriage is in a rut. Especially in sex. My husband works and travels a lot and I stay at home with our son. My hubby works long hours, but is a very active Dad and a good husband. He helps with meals and cleans too. He works at night sometimes which is fine to me since he is the provider. I feel so emotionally disconnected from him since our son was born (son will be two in Dec) and we ... More

  • Latoya
    Sep 11, 2018

    Just joined and found your post. You have to communicate with him. Find things that you can do together with the baby since I know a sitter is an issue. Pack a picnic, go for a walk at your local park and just sit and talk. Since his weight is an issue for you, encouraging him to get out and be active might help.

  • Liz
    Sep 21, 2018

    Try new things maybe ? KY lube for him and her can help out maybe

Anonymous posted in Sex Jul 12, 2018

Low libido

Any moms out there who have no desire for sex anymore?

  • Anna
    Jul 17, 2018

    Used to be a rabbit but after I had her I’m not interested. She’s 9 months 🤭 wondering if it’s a hormonal thing??

  • Anonymous
    Jul 28, 2018

    Wondering what to do...

Anonymous posted in Sex Jul 11, 2018

I feel like I’m never satisfied. 😭

We’re now 3 months pp(c-section), and I have yet to ‘finish’ during sex since I was pregnant. We could literally keep going forever and I feel like I would never climax. Anyone else have this issue? I guess every gal is different with what gets them going, but idk.. I feel like I want it to happen so badly at this point that I focus too hard and psych myself out. I feel like we are doing all... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 12, 2018

    Hormones! I have had this issue as well. It feels like a dessert down there. I would take attention away from the climax and focus on the feelings and sensations you do get during sex. That might just be enough to push you over the edge.

Hysterectomy!!

I'm 29 and going in for a full hysterectomy next month. I dont know what to expect ? Any advice ??

  • Kim
    Jul 07, 2018

    HeyKatie. . I'm having one for medical reasons too. I'm already in pre menopause - my dr is going to put me on hormone therapy

  • Paige
    Sep 17, 2018

    Avoid stairs afterward and take at least a couple weeks off from work-maybe even months. Eat a healthy diet to stay feeling energetic and to avoid weight gain due to lack of exercise... walk A LOT.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jun 29, 2018

Sex drive dead?

Did anyone else completely lose their sex drive? I mean it almost seems gross. I really only want to when I'm ovulating. This is starting to really get to my husband. He thinks I don't find him attractive anymore. Am I the only one this has happened to?

  • Shauna
    Jul 01, 2018

    You should try Tribulus

  • Wenonah
    Aug 06, 2018

    I feel the same way. My boyfriend always asks but I’m just never in the mood. When we go out on dates he always expects to end the night with sex. Now I’m starting to hate date night! When I turn him down I can see his insecurities coming out. I try to explain to him it’s not him and I still love him, care for him and no there’s no one else. Hopefully my sex drive comes back soon for the sake o... More

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