Siblings

Get advice on having multiple children, helping siblings bond, preparing older kids for a new baby, dealing with sibling rivalry, and more.

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Wednesday

Pros and cons of having kids birthdays be close together?

My son is already going on 26 months... my husband has just finally made his mind up that he really does want a baby #2. I want to start trying soon so he and baby #2 won’t be too far apart in age. But my husband wants to wait another 4 months minimum. His only reasoning is because if we are successful in the first try (like last time) the kids would have birthdays within weeks of each other. H... More

  • Anonymous
    31m ago

    How I see it is.... IF you are lucky enough and blessed enough to CHOOSE when you conceive then why not PICK a good time for everyone in your family. What’s waiting a few months?

  • Anonymous
    12m ago

    Any time is a good time for my family. I don’t see an issue with having everyone’s birthdays close together. My husband DID. He no longer does and he is all for trying asap. He didn’t have any good reasons on why we should wait. I gave it some thought and the holidays being around the same time was the only reason I could come up with so I figured I’d get more insight from those that may have e... More

Anonymous posted in Newborns Wednesday

Adjusting to 2 kids and TERRIFIED

I’m 26 weeks pregnant with #2 and already freaking out! The kiddos will be 21 months apart (I never planned to have kids this close in age). My daughter is such a pleasure I’m terrified about #2. I’m kinda freaking out about the adjustment of having 2 kids and could really use some ENCOURAGING words or advice in making the adjustment. Everything I read is horrifying 😫

  • Ian
    Thursday

    Just this evening our two kids, 26 months apart, played by themselves after dinner while my wife and I just sat at the table and enjoyed a glass of wine. There are definite perks to having more than one! And you can look forward to that.

  • antigrav_kids
    Today

    The first two kids here are 20 months apart. The second and third are 27 months apart. They have a blast with each other! It's really nice that they always have someone to hangout with, and enjoy playing with each other. Each kid is more work, but they help with each other over time, and each one is different and lots of fun. My partner and I share in everything, so that helps a lot. I had ... More

Christa posted in Siblings Feb 12

Managing two kids under 2

So I am a mom or a one year old and another in the oven- due in October! Super excited! But for fellow moms out there, I have a question. How did you introduce baby to an already existing routine with your first child who is coming into toddler hood rapidly?! How does your schedule work with a newborn and toddler?! I’m sure I’ll get the grove pretty quick, but I’m a little anxious about it at ... More

  • Alexis
    Feb 14

    My boys are 13 months apart and I was so nervous about bringing a newborn home with a barely 1 year old! Before baby was born we focused on sleep training our oldest and getting him on a good sleep schedule. That's probably the biggest game changer. If your older babe is on a consistent schedule then you (and him) at least have that to count on. Since newborns are so unpredictable, you just... More

  • Haley
    Sunday

    The book Moms on Call is a great resource!

Anonymous posted in Behavior Feb 09

My almost 2 year old is constantly destroying my 4 year olds Magna tile creations.

As soon as my 4 year old finishes his Magna tile creation, my almost 2 year old breaks it. My 4 year is losing his mind and I don’t blame him. We have tried giving the 2 year old his own magna tiles to play with and also having him take a break.... nothing works. Any ideas?

  • Sara
    Feb 11

    I have a 3.5 year old and a baby who always destroys the 3.5 year old's creations. The rule in our house is if the 3.5 doesn't want her stuff destroyed, she has to play with it in her own room. That room is off limits for the baby. If she's playing with it out in the common area or play room, then it's fair game for her little sister to destroy.

Anna posted in Siblings Jan 27

Overwhelmed By Second Baby Schedule

I remember so clearly putting my first baby on a schedule, and how attuned to her day I was. I keep trying to put my second baby on a schedule, but between taking my husband to work, taking my older child to daycare, and running errands during the day, I feel like nothing ever turns out the way I planned. Sometimes I feel like my youngest baby just gets the “fuzzy end of the lollipop” (to quote... More

  • Sara
    Jan 30

    I feel the same way with my second! But I try to remind myself that she is getting so much more than my first in terms of having an older sister and all the stimulation and learning that comes from that. Also my second has wiser, more seasoned parents who aren't making basic mistakes like we did with her older sister! She has also adapted a lot better than my first and has learned to take h... More

  • Nicole
    Feb 12

    I’m dealing with a similar situation. I would plan everything around my first child’s nap and now I have twin 5 month olds. They were born a month early so some things are a month off from what it should be which can be confusing. Anyway, I still haven’t figured out their nap schedule and they went from sleeping well at night to sleeping horribly. When one gets to sleep finally then the other w... More

Kieli posted in Siblings Jan 25

Room transition

Finally getting my 19 mo in her own room. Mixed emotions 😅 she’s been sleeping in the bed with my husband and I, but we are expecting our second little girl in May so I want to get her to sleep alone before the baby comes. Any tips or tricks that can make it easier on her and I? She usually watches some tv with us then lights out and she falls asleep within 10-30 mins after that. I know she wil... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 26

    If you go toddler bed route maybe try taking her to the store and letting her pick bedding for her new bed so she’s involved and very excited. Sadly, even with a toddler bed and gate in the door she will likely cry. Should only take a few nights if you are consistent. Maybe have a tv in her room, lay in bed w her like she’s used to doing to help the transition :)

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    I agree ☝️

Anonymous posted in Siblings Jan 21

For the parents that have 2 kids or more...

Did you notice that your first and second child have opposite personalities? I only have one wild child right now but a lot of parents that I talk to at the parks with more than one kid have mentioned that their second somehow ended up with the complete opposite personality as their first. Loud vs quiet. Risk taker vs careful. Wild vs calm. Good listener vs bad listener. I just noticed this ... More

  • Myrtle
    Jan 23

    My first is calm and extremely cautious. My second is very emotional and a risk taker

  • Steven
    Jan 24

    I have 2 boys, almost 5 & 3. My big guy is sensitive, my little one is not. My big guy is shy, little one the mayor. I was a shy as a kid, broke out of my shell in my mid teens. Most certainly random.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jan 16

Sibling and different childcare

I have a 2 YO and stayed at home with her until now. I am about to start a new job and also thinking about a potential sibling in the next two years. This time I won’t be able to stay at home and will only have 3 months of leave. I feel like this is not fair and I feel bad about this potential situation. Any experience?

  • Anonymous
    Jan 19

    For us, daycare was too expensive (2.5k/month) and had super long waiting lists. My 4m old is in a nanny share now and it's the best arrangement I can imagine. The other family has a 1 year old and surprisingly they are playing together. We interviewed the nanny and found someone who is truly incredible! Basically, for half the cost of daycare, I hired 1 person to be with 2 kids (and only o... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 19

    Very interesting to hear from your experiences. I am definitely thinking about the nanny share. It might just be challenging to find another family and the good nanny

Toddler and New Baby

I have an almost 3 yo and a 2 month old. I am a SAHM so my days can be very long and hard but also very rewarding. Today my husband told me that my almost 3 yo said that Mom doesn’t play with him that much. I used to be able to play a lot but I am struggling to play as much as I used to and take care of the demands of a new baby. I’m not sure what to do about not being able to play as much and ... More

  • Nicole
    Jan 11

    I feel that way too. I’m a SAHM and have a 2-1/2 year old and 4 month old twins. I barely get time to play with my oldest anymore or take him anywhere due to the twin babies between feeding them and being afraid to go out because they’ll get sick (they were preemies and one of them was just in the hospital for 5 days with RSV so a little cautious right now). It’s so hard. I’ve been trying to ma... More

  • Sarah
    Jan 11

    I’m in exactly the same situation,...almost 3 year old and almost 2 month old sons. I felt/still feel guilty about how much less attention I can give my older son but I have also noticed that he is becoming so much more imaginative and able to entertain himself more! He also loves interacting with the baby and helps out by bringing me things, showing the baby his toys, and “teaching him things.... More

Anonymous posted in Siblings Jan 08

The middle child

For those of you with three children, how did you cope with the stigma of the “middle child”? Your first will always be your first and your last is the baby. I feel like if I were to add another child to our family I would feel incredible guilt for my second born. It seems like they always kind of get lost in the picture and it’s so difficult giving so much undivided attention to all three. The... More

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    My Daughter was the middle child also we had a hard time getting along together but I am so proud of her now. She’s a wonderful person and has given me 2 Grandchildren Cora and Sterling she served in the Airforcie

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    I also come from a family of 8

potty training with multiple kids

Hi all! Im currently in the process of potty training my 3 year old but i also have a 1 year old at home and im having a hard time trying to juggle both. any advice on how to keep the little one entertained? Hes incredibly busy and always wants to get into what his big brother is doing but i finally convinced my 3 year old to sit on the potty with some games and movies on his tablet. I dont wa... More

  • Amanda
    Dec 31

    Get a second potty!! My daughter was all over sitting on the potty and getting used to it starting at 10 months. Why not let the little one pretend to be like big brother and get comfy with the potty earlier?

  • Christa
    Dec 31

    I second Amanda- get another potty chair, and have her start potty training as early as you can! You don’t have to wait til they are 3!!! I started my kiddo at 9.5 months old potty training- he’s actually pretty well got the hang of it, and gets sooo super upset now if he wets his pants, because he forgot to communicate that he had to go!! We have a big boy potty in our bathroom and every time... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 22

Just found out I’m pregnant and I have a 15.5 month old...

So I just found out today that I’m pregnant with my second child. I’m excited but nervous . I have such a close relationship with my son and love giving him that one on one attention. I’m nervous about how my son and our relationship will be affected by my pregnancy and ultimately a new baby. My second child will probably be born just after my son’s second birthday. We were hoping to have anoth... More

  • Tj
    Dec 24

    I’m due in a few weeks right before my first child turns two, and I also felt overwhelmed like the pregnancy happened too soon. I was worried my son would t be ready to understand but over the last few months he’s grown and matured so much that the timing seems perfect for a play buddy. He knows his unborn sister’s name, says she’s his best friend, tries to share his food and toys with her, was... More

  • MommyDear
    Dec 24

    Completely normal to feel that way. My baby girl was born 2 mo before my son’s 2nd b-day. Throughout my whole pregnancy I began to tell my son that there was a baby in mommy’s tummy. Once the belly started getting bigger and we finally had a sex, we began to call her baby sister until we had a name. He would love to touch my belly because that was his ‘baby sister’ and he would also place his e... More

Multiple kiddos all under 5

So does anyone have some tips on how to manage discipline when there r multiples (a set of twins) along w three other kiddos? All at different stages and I need help managing the constant need for attention from all seems qhen I need to discuss discipline w one is exactly qhen the others want to act up oj know it's all normal but any tips would be greatly appreciated! I take the one out of ... More

  • Susan
    Dec 23

    I second Jessica above, you are my hero, I’m struggling keeping my sanity with a 2.5 & 1 yo... bravo, lady! I wish I had better insight to give, but when my toddler starts to mirror the baby’s behavior when I am disciplining her I just ignore it and she stops quick... I’m sure it’s a bit more challenging in your case though... good luck!

  • MommyDear
    Dec 24

    Oh lord! And I thought handling a 2yr and a 5mo was challenging... you my dear seem to have things under control for the most part which remember that if we don’t go insane and do a few mess-ups from time to time then we’re not doing parenting right 😂 The kiddos are pretty young and still developing, therefore, there’s only so much they’ll understand at this age but I would say patience, persev... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Dec 17

Does age difference matter?

Just curious what your thoughts are on age difference between siblings. I have two very different experiences personally. My brother is 18 months younger than me and my sister is 18 years younger than me so I have two dramatically different spectrums. My daughter is an only child and she’s about to turn 5 next month. My husband and I have debated about having another child but I’m curious if sh... More

  • Jamie
    Dec 18

    I have worried about this too. My son turned 4 a few months ago and I have finally been in a place mentally & emotionally where I am ready for another child. By the time we have another (God willing) he’ll be 5 close 6 even, I worry about the age gap but I have heard so many positive things about having an age gap that I’m not so worried about it anymore. I think when they’re younger, it mi... More

  • Lily
    Jan 05

    My husband and I want our kids close, our first two will be 22 months apart. My sister and I were 3 Years apart and we were pretty close growing up. I like close, within 5 years. But it is really up to different people!

Kate posted in Siblings Dec 06

We are expecting baby #2. How do we welcome a new baby and keep the other child involved?

My son is 16 months and will be 2 when this one is born.

  • Kennedy
    Dec 07

    My daughter is 16 months and my son is 2 months. Not going to lie, there will be moments where you just want to run away. Lol. But with that being said, my daughter has such a great and wonderful bond with her brother. Let your son help out with tasks that you do with the new baby. Like changing and getting the little one dressed. I let my daughter pass me wipes and help pick out her brothers c... More

  • Bhavana
    Dec 07

    I agree with @kennedy. My daughter just turned 2 when my younger daughter was born. We kept telling her about the baby before the little one was born. Bought her a book that we would read to her called you are a big sister. Then when the baby came home we gave our older one a gift from the baby ( little book bag) that she can take to daycare. Also asked her to help changing diapers. Singing to... More

Ryan posted in Siblings Dec 04

Toddler sleep regression after new baby

We have a 2.5 year old, and recently had a new baby. We were told that toddlers have an adjustment period to new babies, so we expected some behavioral difficulties. What we didn't expect was a sleep regression. Our toddler wakes up 1-2 times a night, every night. It's been going on for about 2 months now (since right before the baby was born). He used to be a pretty solid sleeper, but... More

  • Anna
    Dec 05

    We are essentially still going through this with our 2.5 year old daughter 3 mos after our baby was born, but the best thing I think you can do now is keep consistency with quick responses. I have a method: see if they are okay (I do hand on forehead for fever), quick resettle/pat pat, “love you, bye”! Eventually I think they will get the idea that the attention they want won’t last long. Also,... More

  • Andrea
    Jan 08

    Buy “solve your childs sleep problems” by richard ferber. It covers all young ages and situations and gives great advice!

What age is a good age to bring another baby in the picture?

My son just turned 2 in November, & my husband and I are wanting to try to get pregnant after the first of the year, but every time we bring our son around our friends with babies, he gets too jealous and sometimes angry because we’re holding another baby. So is it a good time to bring another baby in the picture?

  • Erin
    Dec 11

    I have a girl and a boy 1yr and 2 days apart and it was awesome to not have to deal with having the wrong gender tantrum. But my sisters girls are 2yrs apart and it was rough for a couple months she said

  • Jennifer
    Dec 13

    I don’t think there is a magic number! My first two where 19 months apart and my third was 9 years apart from my oldest. Both experiences have been different in their own ways.

Big sister books?

Does anyone have any suggestions for big sister board books or books about a new baby on the way? Thanks!

Already wanting another???

I know it's a little soon... My son is 9 months old... But I've already been thinking about wanting another baby. I don't think I would go through with actually trying for another one right now or anytime soon, but I was just wondering when all of you decided to have another? Like what is the age gap between? If you had children less than a year apart, how did you handle it? What ar... More

  • Dai
    Nov 28

    I wanted another baby soon after giving birth but since I was exclusively breastfeeding it was hard. I’m now 2 months pregnant and my little one is 3 weeks away from being 11 months. I wanted this way because i can’t imagine myself starting over with the teething and the no sleeping so it might be a lot a work now but they will both be a year and a few months apart so they will most likely do e... More

  • Tina
    Nov 28

    Mama’s with a toddler and a baby one the way look out! Let the craziness begin! 😂 I have a 16 month old and a 5 month old.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 17, 2018

My oldest is 5 and my daughter is 9 month, my son gets rough when he plays with her how do I stop it

Ive tried explaining what can happen, yelling, time out, even spanking I feel like i've tried everything

  • Tara
    Nov 18, 2018

    Hmmm maybe then the only thing you can do is be vigilant to protect her from any rough play that can hurt her, until she’s old enough to fend for herself. It’s temporary. You may end up raising a really tough cookie, who can defend herself and stand her ground. Until then, I suppose she needs her mum to make the world safe enough for her... this too shall end 🙏🏽

  • Michelle
    Nov 18, 2018

    Try to find something they can do together maybe... rolling a ball to each other, have him build a car ramp and have his sister help put the cars on the track to go down or have her watch and clap, paint together, have him read her a book, have him crawl race her, and maybe build them a blanket tunnel to crawl through. Anything that can kind of channel his energy while they get to do something ... More

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