Siblings

Get advice on having multiple children, helping siblings bond, preparing older kids for a new baby, dealing with sibling rivalry, and more.

Anonymous posted in Siblings Nov 05

Mom guilt

Ever since my first daughter was born 2.5 years ago she has been the center of attention. Everything that she does, and learns is celebrated by both my husband’s family and mine. This weekend We welcomed our second daughter to the world but our first born has been so visibly unhappy, I don’t know what to do. First of all she has been very distant towards me, and the times she actually wants any... More

  • Jenny
    Nov 07

    You are only 4 days in. It will get better. Everyone is adjusting to the new normal and there will be some growing pains but things will settle down. Continue trying to initiate play time with her, I know it hurts that she refuses when you have time but she’s also learning how to regulate big feelings. Hang in there. You’re doing great ❤️

  • Jessica
    Nov 07

    Congratulations on your new baby! My children are the same ages apart and are now 4 and almost 2. It takes time for sure but what helped me was to remember that one of the best gifts you can give a child is a sibling. There will never be another person who will have the same shared experience growing up. They will form a bond while learning from and teaching each other. They will depend on eac... More

Kelly posted in Siblings Oct 29

When to share pregnancy with LO

Hi we’re very early in our second pregnancy (8 weeks) and we obviously haven’t said anything to our 2 yr old yet. I wouldn’t consider it until we’re at least through the first trimester but was curious when is a good time to start talking about it, getting her excited & prepping for the addition of a sibling??I want to sufficiently prepare her but without too much time should something deva... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 30

    So I miscarried with my first pregnancy, and have fortunately been blessed with 4 kids after. However, the miscarriage changed how I handle that first 12 weeks. I share with anyone before the first ultrasound that I would tell that I had a miscarriage (ie quality friends,family, co workers) . After the first sighting of a hb, I tell most people. With my kids, since I get sick early I always to... More

  • Jenn
    Nov 05

    We waited until after the first trimester but our oldest could absolutely care less. That being said, we altered our language and actions to include the baby and decisions as if she were already there (ie. when buying diapers, clothes, toys and practicing quiet time). Not 100% confident that it had any impact other than she has been a rock star older sister and we’ve never had problems w/the ad... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Oct 28

Second child tantrums

I have two daughters. My older one is 4 and my younger one is 17 months. My younger daughter goes crazy if she doesn’t get her way. She will get extremely physical (tantrums, biting, hitting, etc) and has even hurt her older sister on multiple occasions. Her older sister is SO GOOD TO HER. Always giving her what she wants and being so sweet to her. I just don’t get why my 17 month old acts this... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 29

    I don’t know about a second child thing because my son went through this for a few months around 18 mo. But I just did my best to be calm and stop his in his tracks as often as I could reminding him that how he was acting wasn’t nice and telling him what is a nice way to act. I think his bad behavior really peaked at this time bc his words were still SO limited, I’d think it was all out of frus... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 30

    No, it’s not a second child thing. Kids are different. Doesn’t matter gender or family rank. This also sounds normal for a 1.5 yr old sorting out how to establish themselves in the world. Do you let her buckle herself? My almost two has been buckling the chest buckle for a while now. She’s always proud to do that. She sounds like she may be needing more power. Can you find ways to give her more... More

Jess posted in Behavior Oct 15

My 3 year is horrible towards his 1 year old brother

My 3 year old is in that stage where he doesn't care to listen and is so mean to his 1 year old brother. He is nice to him sometimes and shows him affection but NEVER shares. I have done everything to try and help him share and be more loving towards him but he continues to hit him, take toys from him and push him down. We even tried taking him places alone without the baby. I know its prob... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 15

    When he pushes or hits your 1 yr old, remove the 3 yr old really quickly, tell him no. Then spend more time making sure that your 1 year old is ok. He might be doing it to get attention. When your 3 year old is nice and affectionate to your 1 yr old, be sure to really praise that every single time. Clap, say good job, thank you, get excited, etc.

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Oct 15

    I also suggest asking your 3 year old why he did that after you comfort your younger one. You’ll be surprised at the answers likely. Also, it gives him practice verbalizing his feelings, since the real goal should eventually be that instead of hitting, he says what he’s thinking or feeling.

Lindsay posted in Siblings Oct 04

Toddler and baby sharing a bedroom? How the heck!?

Our boys (2.5 & 5 months) will be sharing a bedroom for many years. Not sure the best time to move baby in. Crib is up and he takes naps in there now. Seems like the earlier the better. But between bad dreams & potty training the two year old and the usual baby wakeups I don't know if it's better to just wait. Our baby may be 18 living in our room...lol. any suggestions???

  • Vonda
    Oct 10

    I grew up with my sister in the same room as me from when she was about 6 months (maybe earlier) till we were in high school. Though I was 4 at the time we did pretty well.

  • Momof2
    Oct 10

    I felt the same way you did and probably would never have pulled the trigger but we went on vacation and the girls ended up sleeping in the same room out of necessity. My girls were one and three at the time and my one-year-old was still waking up multiple times a night which is why I was hesitant to move them in the same room. But my three-year-old hardly ever wakes up when my younger one wake... More

What’s the best way to help prepare your toddler for the arrival of baby No. 2?

We have a 20 month old toddler and we are due with baby No. 2 in December. My toddler seems really interested in baby and will tell us she wants to go for walks with her, and asks to see my belly all the time to give it hugs and kisses. She even tries to share her food with my belly... 😂 I’m wondering if you can recommend any books or tips that helped prepare your toddlers for being an old... More

  • Johanna
    Oct 03

    I kind of rolled my eyes when a friend first showed me this, but my son loved it. His little sister just arrived—he’s 26 months. It is super cheesy, but I think it really helped. My son especially loved to see the baby at the end. https://youtu.be/6xxp5dQe5sU

  • Momof2
    Oct 06

    We also brought our older one to doctors appointments and give her books about being a big sister. No matter how much you prepare her there will be a period of adjustment for everyone in the house. One thing I did not expect/prepare for was how much I missed Time with my older one once the second one came along. I was exclusively nursing so I had to spend more time with the baby feeding and we ... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Sep 16

22 m/o in hitting phase

My wife and I have a 22 month old and a week old infant. Our 22 month old has been acting out and is in a hitting phase. She’s making me feel absolutely crazy, where I am starting to feel instant anger. I want to be the best parent I can be, but the overwhelming negative feelings are getting more intense every day. Thanks in advance.

  • Rebecca
    Sep 18

    My life. My older was fine until the newborn came. It’s a hard adjustment and takes time. Sorry.

  • Genesis
    Sep 19

    My, now 5 & 6 year old, went through hitting phase when they were about 3 & 4. They would hit each other non-stop. It would drive me crazy because no matter how many times we explained that we have to keep our hands to ourselves, they wouldn't listen. It lasted a while but they finally got the idea when I would sit them down and I would play with them and show them how we communicat... More

Anonymous posted in Siblings Sep 08

Morning sickness and advice?

Hi mamas! (and dads)! I just found out I’m pregnant with baby #2! Which means I’ll officially have 2 under 2. Does anyone have any advice? Tips and tricks? I also have been having awful morning sickness and need any and all advice for it, I had a bit of nausea with my first but it was never this bad. Help a mama out😅 TIA!!

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Sep 09

    I had my first two 17 months apart. I honestly don’t think there is much you can do to “prepare” baby 1, except to transition them ahead of time out of things like the pack n play or car seat so they don’t feel like baby stole it. I had some rough morning sickness as well, and I did a lot of laying around while reading books, laying on the floor playing blocks or just letting him climb on me an... More

  • Brittany
    Sep 27

    I had terrible morning sickness.. the only thing that worked for me was unisom tablets. I took half of one before bed and the sickness was much more bearable the next day. They did make me very sleepy all day though. Do a google search for unisom and morning sickness because I can’t remember exactly how you’re supposed to take it but it was a miracle for me.

Anonymous posted in Babies Aug 26

Mama’s w/ Two kids under Two:

Me & my husband are wanting to have another kid soon, but first I would like to get the pros/con, suggestions etc of what other moms have went through, struggled with, loved, disliked etc with having two kids under two. TIA!

  • Jennie
    Aug 29

    I had 2 under 2 (now I have 5 under 8) and I loved it. The first few months are tough but once you get into a good routine, it's great. Now they are 7 & 8 and it's awesome because they're basically at the same development levels and want to do things together. I wish my other kids were closer in age, to be honest.

  • Sierra
    Aug 30

    It’s been much harder than I imagined for me. My oldest was really jealous no matter how much I tried to do all the right things to help them bond. It did get better with time though, 80% of the time they both love playing together. What was the hardest for me was combining both their schedules and that they both needed and wanted my full attention at the same time and fought to have it. I had ... More

Lina posted in Siblings Aug 21

30 something, 9 yr old son, too late to have more?

My son just turned 9 and has been asking (begging) for a sibling for years. I did try and was not successful. 2 miscarriages. I want to try again but now I’m in my late 30’s and he is already 9! I struggle with this every single day. I’m 1 of 6 kids. I feel so much guilt not giving him a childhood with siblings. I would be devastated if I couldn’t give him any at all but is it too late?

  • Jenny
    Aug 29

    I had 4 kids from my first marriage 2 boys 15 & 14, and 2 girls 18 & 16. I had remarried. Both my new husband and I were 35 he’d raised step kids but never had any of his own so he wanted kids! We had a boy in oct 2014 my kids being the ages they were not thrilled at first lol but when the baby came it was completely different they all loved him and jumped right in to helping take care ... More

  • Nise
    Aug 30

    My sister is 40 with a 21 yr old a 9 year old and a 2 year old. Your not too old. Forgot about what society has taught you about what age you should be having babies and do what you want. P.S I’m 33 and have a 14 yr old, 5 year old and a newly turned 1 yr old.

Time To Bottle Wean

I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and i’m ready to get rid of bottles. It was hard with my 2 year old because his brother came and he always wanted a bottle like the baby. I think now it time to remove it from both. Any tips? Suggestion? Best Cups?

  • Stacey
    Aug 13

    Our son has not used a bottle since we stopped formula at about a year. He is almost 2 now. He uses 360 cups and those are great. We are starting to use the Reflow smart cup at meal times. It's a normal cup but has an insert to control the flow of the drink. He likes to try to drink out of anything Mom and Dad are using so he's had practice with water bottles, big tumblers and straws.

  • Gemma
    Aug 15

    Transitional cups work great

Anonymous posted in Newborns Aug 06

Super clingy 3 year old just before new baby

My 3 year old has always been a mama’s boy, but these past couple months he’s been extra clingy, and now with less than a week before my due date with baby #2, he literally does not want to leave my side. He doesn’t want his dad, or anyone else, but mommy to do anything with him. He only wants mommy to change him, get him his food/drink, put him in his car seat, give him his bath, etc. Of cours... More

  • anonymous mom
    Aug 07

    Give it Time, he’s sensing the upcoming changes and he’s having a hard time understanding and processing. I only have one child but I used to nanny for big families. Those first few days, weeks, and months can be so hard but so rewarding. I found the older siblings who fared best in the transition had parents who were always there to acknowledge their child’s feelings and found ways to still gi... More

  • Ivy
    Aug 07

    My two and four year old love their baby sister dearly, since the first night. But I did notice my 2 year old regress a lot and has been acting out a lot more as I assume he desires more quality attention from me. What has helped, is having him be as involved as possible with his baby sister. When she cries, I tell him to check on her and when he makes her smile or stop crying, he gets lots of ... More

MOM posted in Siblings Aug 02

Age gap in siblings??

Is 5 year age gap too long in siblings?

  • Stephanie
    Aug 30

    My oldest is 14 then surprise I now have a 5 month old...

  • Jamie
    Sep 05

    My oldest will be 21 next month and surprise! I have a 3 month old. Also a 1 1/2 year old Grandson. Yes, I said grandson Lol. My daughter loves her brother and despite the two decade age difference there is still some jealousy over my attention. They already have a unique and strong bond. My son only laughs out loud for his sister and already cries when she puts him down to leave. They have alr... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Jul 22

Behavior changes for first born after bringing second sibling home

My first born is suddenly very whiny and emotional about EVERYTHING and she’s typically such a good girl. This started about three days after my husband and I brought home her baby brother from the hospital. She’s extremely sweet to him and hugs and kisses him but I know it’s a tough transition for her because of her new behaviors. Bed time has suddenly been drawn out as well. She’s a month shy... More

  • Anne Boyle
    Aug 01

    Thanks for the post. We are going though the EXACT same thing with our daughter who was a week shy of 24 months when we brought her brother home. Meltdowns have been epic. She was also sick with a fever first few days and her molars are coming in, so that didn’t/doesn’t help. He’s three weeks old now, and she’s still whiny. He gets her presents. We have scheduled “special time” time with her an... More

Toi posted in Siblings Jul 11

My son and his lil sister

My son doesn’t want the new baby to touch him and occasionally he may look at her or may touch her rarely but he doesn’t really interact with her and he’s about to be 2 and she’s 6 months is this normal

  • Anonymous
    Jul 11

    Yes

Anonymous posted in Siblings Jul 07

Toddler & infant share a room?

Does/did anyone sleep their toddler and newborn/infant in the same room? We have a small, bungalow-style house (under 900 sq ft), and I’m getting a little nervous about when #2 arrives...how do you juggle sleep schedules and the toddler trying to “help”? More info: our first, bless her, was sleeping 5-6 hour stretches by about 6 weeks. I’m going to assume we won’t be that lucky again. But ... More

  • Jennifer
    Jul 08

    My boys share a room (2 years and 2 months). I put the toddler to bed first and bring the baby in after he’s asleep. When the baby wakes up to nurse during the night I put him back down in a pack and play in the living room but only to avoid getting them both up at the same time in the morning. My was a good sleeper too but they can both sleep through the other’s crying. We put a crib tent on t... More

  • Anne
    Jul 09

    We did this! We also staggered bedtime. Baby went down at 6:30PM and toddler went down at 7:30PM. I also used a white noise machine so they wouldn't be as likely to wake each other up at night. It worked out well! They are 5 and 6 now and still share a room.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jul 01

Transitioning FROM daycare (SAHM)

We are planning for our second child and realized, even if both of us are working, daycare costs will be out of reach. I’m nervous on two fronts and would appreciate any advice or stories regarding two transitions: 1 - from being a full time worker to full time SAHM (I admittedly was VERY ready to return to work at the end of my first maternity leave) 2 - how to transition baby #1 OUT of day... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jul 04

    When I had my first, I was ecstatic to return to work. Everyone told me I was going to be devastated and cry, and I loved it. I felt like I had it all. As my second child came close to being due (17 months apart), I asked to go part time to make life balance easier (I loved my job, and my husband and I honestly could afford to put both in daycare based on our pay and work from home flexibility)... More

Anonymous posted in Newborns Jun 21

Don’t feel as bonded to second baby

Anyone not feel as bonded to their second baby? I was obsessed and thought she was the cutest baby with my first daughter from the moment she was born (she’s 2 years old now). Since bringing home my second (she’s 2 weeks old) I just don’t feel that same emotion as I did with the first. I am definitely not depressed- I’m otherwise totally fine (a bit overwhelmed having 2 but that’s natural). I ... More

  • Megan
    Jul 01

    With my first I didn’t feel bonded for the longest time! I’ve always wanted to be a mom and thought it would come so much more natural than it did... but it took time. I think for me it was more just transitioning into being a mom and the entire mindset. But once I got it, I had it immediately for my second born. Immediately bonded in a way I didn’t with my first. Again may have just been now I... More

  • Anna
    Jul 04

    I didn’t feel as bonded with my first, but I also experienced a lot of trauma, PPD, and anxiety-but in my case, I don’t think I realized it until much later. How was your birth? Was it traumatic at all? I think sometimes that has something to do with it. As you probably remember, the newborn stage is very overwhelming. Also, was your first a good sleeper? My first was horrible at sleeping from ... More

Lindsay posted in Siblings Jun 18

Looking for tips on juggling a newborn and my toddler

My husband often works nights and I'm having to do bedtime on my own those nights. My one month old is always up during that time (crying if not held) & I'm trying to get my 2 yo bathed, pottied and feel like he gets some sort of special time. Any suggestions??

  • K
    Jun 19

    Have you tried using a carrier? Probably not the most comfortable. Hopefully the colicky phase will end soon. I had twin girls a few months before my son turned 3 and my husband gets home at 7, so I feel ya. My girls did well in the baby Bjorne chairs when I had to cook or give my son some time. I had them on a pretty scheduled day, so their “bedtime” was 6, even though they were still waking e... More

  • MTH Zale
    Jun 20

    I had a similar issue and decided to co-sleep. It made my nights happier and baby slept all night. Now I have a 5 year old I have to get into her own room each night. Possibly could have taken another path but it made our earlier days a lot happier.

Double Strollers

I have an almost 2 year old son and 6 month old son. Been doing research on which is the best double stroller. We need one that’s compact for the car trunk and prefer the single line style. Any suggestions?

  • Vonda
    May 09

    Uppababy Vista. It’s amazing. Expensive; but I wouldn’t buy any other double stroller. Folds down in seconds. Easy to maneuver vs a double wide stroller. And I know it’ll last my kid and all the cousins. Lol.

  • Holly
    May 11

    Lily is right. City Select is expensive but worth every dollar!!

Load More