Siblings

Get advice on having multiple children, helping siblings bond, preparing older kids for a new baby, dealing with sibling rivalry, and more.

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Monday

Does age difference matter?

Just curious what your thoughts are on age difference between siblings. I have two very different experiences personally. My brother is 18 months younger than me and my sister is 18 years younger than me so I have two dramatically different spectrums. My daughter is an only child and she’s about to turn 5 next month. My husband and I have debated about having another child but I’m curious if sh... More

  • Terry
    Today

    I have a daughter who is 48. When she was 11 I had a son. She loved her brother and was such a big help!! When my son was almost 5 I had another daughter. He took to her and was very protective! Now that they are 48, 37 and 33, they are very close. I said once that when I die, I know that they will be ok because they have each other and will be there for one onother.

  • Jamie
    Today

    I have worried about this too. My son turned 4 a few months ago and I have finally been in a place mentally & emotionally where I am ready for another child. By the time we have another (God willing) he’ll be 5 close 6 even, I worry about the age gap but I have heard so many positive things about having an age gap that I’m not so worried about it anymore. I think when they’re younger, it mi... More

Kate posted in Siblings Dec 06

We are expecting baby #2. How do we welcome a new baby and keep the other child involved?

My son is 16 months and will be 2 when this one is born.

  • Kennedy
    Dec 07

    My daughter is 16 months and my son is 2 months. Not going to lie, there will be moments where you just want to run away. Lol. But with that being said, my daughter has such a great and wonderful bond with her brother. Let your son help out with tasks that you do with the new baby. Like changing and getting the little one dressed. I let my daughter pass me wipes and help pick out her brothers c... More

  • Bhavana
    Dec 07

    I agree with @kennedy. My daughter just turned 2 when my younger daughter was born. We kept telling her about the baby before the little one was born. Bought her a book that we would read to her called you are a big sister. Then when the baby came home we gave our older one a gift from the baby ( little book bag) that she can take to daycare. Also asked her to help changing diapers. Singing to... More

Ryan posted in Siblings Dec 04

Toddler sleep regression after new baby

We have a 2.5 year old, and recently had a new baby. We were told that toddlers have an adjustment period to new babies, so we expected some behavioral difficulties. What we didn't expect was a sleep regression. Our toddler wakes up 1-2 times a night, every night. It's been going on for about 2 months now (since right before the baby was born). He used to be a pretty solid sleeper, but... More

  • Liz
    Dec 04

    I have a similar situation at home. I have a 7 months old baby and a 21 months old and she wakes up during the night 2 to 3 times. I've read about it and is a thing so. Hang in there good luck!

  • Anna
    Dec 05

    We are essentially still going through this with our 2.5 year old daughter 3 mos after our baby was born, but the best thing I think you can do now is keep consistency with quick responses. I have a method: see if they are okay (I do hand on forehead for fever), quick resettle/pat pat, “love you, bye”! Eventually I think they will get the idea that the attention they want won’t last long. Also,... More

What age is a good age to bring another baby in the picture?

My son just turned 2 in November, & my husband and I are wanting to try to get pregnant after the first of the year, but every time we bring our son around our friends with babies, he gets too jealous and sometimes angry because we’re holding another baby. So is it a good time to bring another baby in the picture?

  • Erin
    Dec 11

    I have a girl and a boy 1yr and 2 days apart and it was awesome to not have to deal with having the wrong gender tantrum. But my sisters girls are 2yrs apart and it was rough for a couple months she said

  • Jennifer
    Thursday

    I don’t think there is a magic number! My first two where 19 months apart and my third was 9 years apart from my oldest. Both experiences have been different in their own ways.

Big sister books?

Does anyone have any suggestions for big sister board books or books about a new baby on the way? Thanks!

Already wanting another???

I know it's a little soon... My son is 9 months old... But I've already been thinking about wanting another baby. I don't think I would go through with actually trying for another one right now or anytime soon, but I was just wondering when all of you decided to have another? Like what is the age gap between? If you had children less than a year apart, how did you handle it? What ar... More

  • Dai
    Nov 28

    I wanted another baby soon after giving birth but since I was exclusively breastfeeding it was hard. I’m now 2 months pregnant and my little one is 3 weeks away from being 11 months. I wanted this way because i can’t imagine myself starting over with the teething and the no sleeping so it might be a lot a work now but they will both be a year and a few months apart so they will most likely do e... More

  • Tina
    Nov 28

    Mama’s with a toddler and a baby one the way look out! Let the craziness begin! 😂 I have a 16 month old and a 5 month old.

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 17

My oldest is 5 and my daughter is 9 month, my son gets rough when he plays with her how do I stop it

Ive tried explaining what can happen, yelling, time out, even spanking I feel like i've tried everything

  • Tara
    Nov 18

    Hmmm maybe then the only thing you can do is be vigilant to protect her from any rough play that can hurt her, until she’s old enough to fend for herself. It’s temporary. You may end up raising a really tough cookie, who can defend herself and stand her ground. Until then, I suppose she needs her mum to make the world safe enough for her... this too shall end 🙏🏽

  • Michelle
    Nov 18

    Try to find something they can do together maybe... rolling a ball to each other, have him build a car ramp and have his sister help put the cars on the track to go down or have her watch and clap, paint together, have him read her a book, have him crawl race her, and maybe build them a blanket tunnel to crawl through. Anything that can kind of channel his energy while they get to do something ... More

Hello everyone 😊

Just downloaded this app and super excited to see some STA mommies here! I have 3 toddlers ages 5, 4, and 2! Life is really hectic, I went through a long period of major depression and recently started medication a couple months ago. It has helped IMMENSELY! There are still days I feel like i just can't do it, but I pull through. Does anyone else have multiple kids close in age? What strugg... More

  • Amy
    Nov 08

    My 2 oldest girls are 17 months apart... Never really had fighting between them... Just always was on the go... Spent a lot of time at the zoo... Still do...

  • Yopolos
    Nov 10

    I’ve got 3 right now, and hoping for a fourth. My first two are 17 months apart and my second two are 20 months apart. Mine are still super young (oldest just turned 4) but my biggest struggle is my own patience combined with the impeccable timing of someone hitting someone when I’m trying to finally pee! :)

Kimmy posted in Siblings Nov 04

I’m due with baby #3 in a week..

Very excited but also nervous. I have 3 &5 year old boys and now expecting a baby girl. anyone have any tips on adjusting from 2 to 3 easily with little kids? Wanting to make sure my beautiful boys don’t feel left out. Love my babies! Any tips are appreciated :)

  • Kimmy
    Nov 05

    Thank you so much!!!

  • Nini
    Nov 06

    As soon as you can, read the book Siblings Without Rivalry. It makes so much sense, but makes a lot of points that you might not realize or think about in your day to day parenting. Also, I learned that handling a baby all day, cuddling, diaperng, snuggling, picking up, etc., will make your older children long for your touch. So remember to cuddle and hug them too. It seems obvious but we forg... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Nov 02

Depressed about Toddler Behavior

My toddler (almost 2.5) has been acting out occasionally since right before her baby sister was born. She goes to daycare most days and I have been getting reports of kicking, hitting, aggressive hugging, and even hair pulling. I know some of this is normal, but I feel like it’s every day that I go to pick her up now that I get some kind of negative report. She has even tried to be aggressive o... More

  • Tara
    Nov 05

    One-on-one time with you, with dad, and with both of you without baby No.2. Maybe a trip to the playground together, petting zoo, or even if baby no.2 can go for a walk or visit to grandparents/ relative/ trusted friend, then time with her at home, baking cookies, drawing, reading etc. And a regular slot, maybe when picking-up from daycare, bring a snack (something she likes to eat/ drink), and... More

  • Lorena
    Nov 14

    Hello great to see im not the only one my son is just the same hes 3 i just recently had a baby girl shes 5 months old. My son got kicked out of hes day care where he has been since he was 3 months old hes aggression was really bad he gets like that at home too i have been putting him in timeouts but it just dosent seem to work. So now what i do i take away the one thing he loves the most hes t... More

Alyssa posted in Newborns Oct 30

Teaching big brother to be gentle with new brother

I have an 18 month old and I need help teaching him to be nice and gentle with his new brother. Little brother is only a week old. Today big brother threw his sippy cup at little brothers head. Thank goodness he is ok, but I really want to avoid anything like this in the future. Please help!!

  • Sonia
    Oct 30

    I guess he’s jealous of little brother who’s taking all the attention from him. I would try being -even more- loving towards big brother and let him help with baby’s activities (putting diaper in trash can, handing you diapers and bottles, etc..) and make him feel part of the babies development. Good luck!

  • Jennifer
    Oct 30

    Yeah I think big brother is jealous the little brother is getting all the attention and plus knowing that he's not the baby anymore! Give him more love and attention and see how things goes.

Having a Second Kid?

Hello! While not here to completely decide my future, I do want to get some thoughts on a matter. I have a 3 yo step-kid with my spouse. That kid is the only kid in our family and the other side... as in my spouse and their ex-wife only had the one kid, the ex-wife hasn’t had another kid, and we haven’t had another kid. So it’s just the one. But both sides of the family are now talking about h... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 29

    I think all kids have to transition when their parents have a second. You’ll just have to make sure she feels loved and has special time with her dad and you even after baby comes.

  • Sam
    Oct 31

    Just make her apart of the pregnancy. Like tell her shes going to be such an amazing big sis, and that you'll really need her help, get a shirt that says shes a big sis, have her listen in and be present for ultra sounds, and when babys born she can be a big helper. Trust me she'll love it!

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Oct 28

Parents of same gender children

Is it normal or common for parents of same gender children only (ie. two or more daughters or two or more sons) to feel envious of parents who have a boy AND a girl? Or are most parents satisfied with how their family is comprised?

  • Jenni
    Oct 31

    I think it totally depends on the parents and their wishes. We have two girls and we’re completely happy with that.

  • Britteny
    Nov 02

    I have three girls. I’ve always wanted a boy, but feel like the having babies part of my life is over. I think three is enough. Not willing to try for a fourth just to maybe have a boy. Husband has always wanted a boy and now seems like he’s in the same page of no more babies. We have three girls, that’s our family and we’re happy and at least I don’t feel like somethings missing just because ... More

Cyndi posted in Siblings Oct 26

Toddler sleep issues since bringing home new baby sister.

Help!! My 4yr old used to be the "perfect" little sleeper (8am-8pm, no issues) since bringing home her new little sister (who is now 3mths old) she now struggles to get to sleep, sometimes she is still awake at 10pm and now she also wakes up every night around 2am to come into our bed and is sometimes awake for 2hrs. As an already sleep deprived mumma, I'm coming to my Witt's ... More

  • Cesar
    Oct 28

    You need to spend more time with your toddler. I know the baby is very needy, yet you cannot spend more time with the baby.

  • Christina
    Oct 29

    Giving baby (our case is babies) to dad in the evening and do dinner, bath, bed routine with just your 4 yo. Doing that a few days in a row really helped my 3 yo. Is she waking earlier? We had to move bedtime up an hour because she was waking an hour earlier and loosing too much sleep. We have a knob lock on the inside of daughter’s door so she has never been able to come to our bed during ... More

Miriam posted in Siblings Oct 25

Discipline 😭😭

Hello parents! Just wondering how do you discipline your kiddos? I have a 2 yr old son and 4 yr old daughter. I’m loosing it with them, they’re good kids but she’s so bossy and hits her brother for everything and he just wants to play with her but he doesn’t understand her. I tried talking to her, putting her on time out and ehhh so many other things and I’m about to give up 😭😭😭 help please?

  • Jessica
    Oct 26

    I do “alone time”. Discipline should be age specific and a lot of the time they can’t grasp certain concepts (like why they’re being naughty, or why they’re not sharing) so I let my son go in his room, shut the door, and let himself calm down. When he does, which only takes a minute or two, I open the door, hug him, tell him he was angry because he “didn’t get to have another popsicle” and tell... More

  • Amelia
    Oct 26

    I’ve tried everything under the sun to discipline my kids (5 and 4) time out, extra chores, take away tablet time, tv time. Any thing that could possibly be fun for them can be taken away and they still don’t get it. I have finally accepted the facts that I have good kids that don’t know how to listen. So after school is mostly yelling, timeout, more yelling and me being irritated. Hopefully th... More

Cathy posted in Siblings Oct 20

Question about managing a second child

My husband and I will have a 2 year old in December. That being said, I’m a SAHM and we are considering having another baby. I’m curious how you manage being up all day with a toddler and a newborn and then up all night with a baby. How do you manage taking a 2 year old to activities with a small baby that needs to nap or eat? We aren’t surrounded by a “village” for help and would be mostly... More

  • Marjorie
    Oct 22

    I’m not saying it’s not worth it, just something to keep in mind. Also, how much will your husband/ family help?

  • Brandy
    Oct 26

    My daughter was 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. At the time, I was working but shortly after became a SAHM. She was almost 19 months when my son was born. Managing both kids came pretty natural.

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Oct 18

Baby Fever

I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to have another baby, but biology would have it that yes I am sure, right now please. Finances are not ideal, my partner loves to dance around the idea of marriage, and has been since I was pregnant with our first son. So, obviously there's a few things we'd like to do before we expand our family further. Any ideas on how to shush up my biologic... More

  • Edith
    Oct 19

    Hi i am rady to hav baby My significativas sad not yat and we are a blind cupe

  • Anonymous
    Oct 20

    I want another baby! Our third is almost 3 years old. Other kids are 10, 12 years old. I’ve brought it up to my husband he says no more but everyone around me is having a baby so it’s like but we really should hahah

Anonymous posted in Siblings Oct 10

Baby number 2

My husband and I have a 1 year old son and just found out we are pregnant with a second baby, this wasn’t expected. I want to know how to make sure my son doesn’t feel left out and unloved now that he’ll have a little sibling. Both my husband and I had just set our minds on only having our son but I guess life had other plans.

  • Myrtle
    Oct 11

    My friend threw a big sister party instead of a baby shower which I thought was a great idea (of course Baby and toddler both got gifts)! We also did special toys that only came out when I was nursing the baby so that the toddler felt like it was special time for her too. Also for the first couple months that baby was in the house anytime the toddler asked us to play game or read a book with he... More

  • Anisca
    Oct 16

    Thank you all for the advice and sharing your experiences! Good things to come I see! Yay!!!!

Toddler possessiveness

Im about 30 wks pregnant with my second and my first (22 months old) is starting to become very protective/possessive of me around my husband. I stay at home with her, so I'm not sure if that comes into play. But at times she will hardly let my husband talk to me let alone touch me, without saying "no my mommy" or something like that. We all eat dinner together, sometimes they hav... More

  • Brittany
    Oct 05

    My daughter does this all the time. It causes issues sometimes. It could carryover but it might not. My daughter only does it with my bf but not with my son. It was just me and her for 4 years so she is very protective. Once the baby does come try and spend as much alone time with your daughter and also daddy/daughter time. Include her in picking out outfits or grabbing diapers when baby arrive... More

  • Lana
    Oct 06

    My son did this. He was more productive over the baby after she was born. Now that is more playful he has slowly gotten over it.

Foufou posted in Behavior Oct 04

Toddler WAS doing well till sibling shows up...

My 2 and a half year old daughter was getting potty trained the last couple of months of my pregnancy. She was doing so well!! I actually wanted to start earlier in the year because she was going at home but we had to wait till she was in the older class...due to the policy at day care. But lately after having her brother all the progress has been thrown out the window and gotten soooo much wor... More

  • Christina
    Oct 04

    I found spending more time with her and having dad care for babies has helped a lot. So for a few nights I did dinner, bath, bedtime routine. She was 3 years, 1 month when babies were born.

  • Foufou
    Oct 04

    Thank you ladies❤️❤️ I realized she does need more mommy time! Today she did use the potty and I pretty much threw her a party lol I’ll keep it up at the end of the day her life turned up side down once the baby came. The attention shifted dramatically and I need to redirect my focus back on her.

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