Get advice on having multiple children, helping siblings bond, preparing older kids for a new baby, dealing with sibling rivalry, and more.

Leslie posted in Siblings Apr 14

Silly question..

Do you find it easier with one child or two? I’ve gotten mixed reviews from people and am contemplating trying for baby #2. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with how much of my undivided attention my son needs of me everyday. I almost feel like if he had a playmate he’d be more entertained and engaged. Thoughts from experience mommas?

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Apr 15

    Oh and please don’t bank on gender being an “easiness” meter. It’s not.

  • Priscilla
    Apr 15

    I have never met a parent who thought having two was easier than one. Once in a blue moon when we’ve been able to drop one off with the grandparents and we only have one at home, it literally feels like we’re on vacation... like what are we gonna do with all this extra time and energy?! 😂 Think it’s just perspective though, obviously one feels hard (as opposed to having no kids) when it’s all y... More

Anonymous posted in Products & Gear Apr 11

2nd child. I am having my second child (both boys), what will I need? Boys will be 21 months apart.

A double stroller? A high chair (or will my older son be out of his), a crib (or will my older son be out of his by the time the new baby moves out of our room at 6 months) etc.

  • K
    Apr 11

    I had twin girls when my son was 2.5. He was in a toddler bed since he was 15 mth bc he was climbing out of his crib. But, we knew we needed his crib, so we transitioned him before the girls came. He loved his new bed and the foam bumpers are amazing. Even with my huge belly I was able to lay with him and they went right back into shape. As for high chair, you have a few months. My son was out ... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Apr 15

    I had my first two 17 months apart, and my second and third 20 months apart. I got a double stroller, an extra cheap booster seat and that has worked well. Other purchases that happened sooner than normal were transitioning the older one to a toddler bed (or getting a new crib), getting a new car seat, and another baby monitor. I had one in my room for baby and one in the older ones room. I al... More

Anonymous posted in Multiple Children Apr 01

Nervous for #2 arrival

Anyone else terrified for #2? Being pregnant with a toddler has been rough and well be 8 weeks left and counting . All the advise people keep telling me is how hard it will be and how awful it is - it doesn’t make me look forward to adding #2- they’ll be 21 months apart!

  • Megan
    Apr 12

    Just had my second in February. Mine are 17 months apart. No lie, it’s very hard. The days last a long long long time. So far it hasn’t gotten a ton “easier” but I have gotten more comfortable with the level of difficulty and the constant putting out fires. Someone always needs me. Always. It definitely wears you down very quickly. Honestly, I’m glad people were honest with me about that becaus... More

  • Annie

    My kids are 2 years apart, and I am home with both of them everyday, all day. It was exhausting for the first few months, but it got a lot easier once everyone was settled into our “new normal”. Make alone time with the oldest a priority when the baby sleeps. Also, having friends or family take one kid allows you time to bond with the other, rest, do whatever keeps you sane. Also, don’t blink!... More

Anonymous posted in Behavior Feb 26

Worried about 2nd child personality and temperament

Idk if this sounds dumb but I’m pregnant with my second and so worried about just everything but also what she’ll be like. My daughter was a really easy baby, very relaxed and has a really chill personality (as chill as a toddler can be). She obviously has her moments but overall she is really go with the flow. A lot of my friends describe their own kids as super difficult and stubborn and idk ... More

  • Kieli
    Feb 26

    My daughter is very strong willed ... and I want her to be that way. I want her to stand up for herself at school and just in life in general. Like every other parent said on here, my daughter has her sweet moments and her sour moments. I love her both ways, and I know that she is learning from me. I try to be the best parent/example for her that I can and she can take what she wants and grow w... More

  • Sara
    Feb 27

    Every child is different and has their unique challenges. That said, you'll be surprised how much easier the second baby can feel because you are more experienced and know what to expect. My second daughter had some skin problems when she was born but even with all the hassle of dealing with that and taking her back to the doctor frequently, it didn't feel nearly as hard as my first dau... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Feb 20

Pros and cons of having kids birthdays be close together?

My son is already going on 26 months... my husband has just finally made his mind up that he really does want a baby #2. I want to start trying soon so he and baby #2 won’t be too far apart in age. But my husband wants to wait another 4 months minimum. His only reasoning is because if we are successful in the first try (like last time) the kids would have birthdays within weeks of each other. H... More

  • Trac
    Feb 28

    Just have separate birthday party! One this weekend, one next weekend end. When they are old one huge party for all or one fun trip together to celebrate. In the long run it will be easier!

  • Anonymous
    Mar 20

    Apparently I'm only fertile one month out of the year...I will soon have three boys all born in April. The cool part is their "Golden B-day" will land in the same year. One will be 21; the other 18. We just have to wait and see if the next one is born on the 14th too! Regardless I promised them it would be the party of a lifetime!! HeeHee

Anonymous posted in Newborns Feb 20

Adjusting to 2 kids and TERRIFIED

I’m 26 weeks pregnant with #2 and already freaking out! The kiddos will be 21 months apart (I never planned to have kids this close in age). My daughter is such a pleasure I’m terrified about #2. I’m kinda freaking out about the adjustment of having 2 kids and could really use some ENCOURAGING words or advice in making the adjustment. Everything I read is horrifying 😫

  • antigrav_kids
    Feb 22

    The first two kids here are 20 months apart. The second and third are 27 months apart. They have a blast with each other! It's really nice that they always have someone to hangout with, and enjoy playing with each other. Each kid is more work, but they help with each other over time, and each one is different and lots of fun. My partner and I share in everything, so that helps a lot. I had ... More

  • Jessica
    Feb 22

    Our two girls are 27 months apart and some days are harder but the hard parts are mostly just taking longer to get things done or get out of the house. Our second is way easier than the first and I am so much more relaxed about it since I now kind of know what to expect (as opposed to everything being so new). Our youngest is now 3 months and watching the two begin to interact together has been... More

Christa posted in Siblings Feb 12

Managing two kids under 2

So I am a mom or a one year old and another in the oven- due in October! Super excited! But for fellow moms out there, I have a question. How did you introduce baby to an already existing routine with your first child who is coming into toddler hood rapidly?! How does your schedule work with a newborn and toddler?! I’m sure I’ll get the grove pretty quick, but I’m a little anxious about it at ... More

  • Alexis
    Feb 14

    My boys are 13 months apart and I was so nervous about bringing a newborn home with a barely 1 year old! Before baby was born we focused on sleep training our oldest and getting him on a good sleep schedule. That's probably the biggest game changer. If your older babe is on a consistent schedule then you (and him) at least have that to count on. Since newborns are so unpredictable, you just... More

  • Haley
    Feb 17

    The book Moms on Call is a great resource!

Anonymous posted in Behavior Feb 09

My almost 2 year old is constantly destroying my 4 year olds Magna tile creations.

As soon as my 4 year old finishes his Magna tile creation, my almost 2 year old breaks it. My 4 year is losing his mind and I don’t blame him. We have tried giving the 2 year old his own magna tiles to play with and also having him take a break.... nothing works. Any ideas?

  • Sara
    Feb 11

    I have a 3.5 year old and a baby who always destroys the 3.5 year old's creations. The rule in our house is if the 3.5 doesn't want her stuff destroyed, she has to play with it in her own room. That room is off limits for the baby. If she's playing with it out in the common area or play room, then it's fair game for her little sister to destroy.

Anna posted in Siblings Jan 27

Overwhelmed By Second Baby Schedule

I remember so clearly putting my first baby on a schedule, and how attuned to her day I was. I keep trying to put my second baby on a schedule, but between taking my husband to work, taking my older child to daycare, and running errands during the day, I feel like nothing ever turns out the way I planned. Sometimes I feel like my youngest baby just gets the “fuzzy end of the lollipop” (to quote... More

  • Sara
    Jan 30

    I feel the same way with my second! But I try to remind myself that she is getting so much more than my first in terms of having an older sister and all the stimulation and learning that comes from that. Also my second has wiser, more seasoned parents who aren't making basic mistakes like we did with her older sister! She has also adapted a lot better than my first and has learned to take h... More

  • Nicole
    Feb 12

    I’m dealing with a similar situation. I would plan everything around my first child’s nap and now I have twin 5 month olds. They were born a month early so some things are a month off from what it should be which can be confusing. Anyway, I still haven’t figured out their nap schedule and they went from sleeping well at night to sleeping horribly. When one gets to sleep finally then the other w... More

Kieli posted in Siblings Jan 25

Room transition

Finally getting my 19 mo in her own room. Mixed emotions 😅 she’s been sleeping in the bed with my husband and I, but we are expecting our second little girl in May so I want to get her to sleep alone before the baby comes. Any tips or tricks that can make it easier on her and I? She usually watches some tv with us then lights out and she falls asleep within 10-30 mins after that. I know she wil... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 26

    If you go toddler bed route maybe try taking her to the store and letting her pick bedding for her new bed so she’s involved and very excited. Sadly, even with a toddler bed and gate in the door she will likely cry. Should only take a few nights if you are consistent. Maybe have a tv in her room, lay in bed w her like she’s used to doing to help the transition :)

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    I agree ☝️

Anonymous posted in Siblings Jan 21

For the parents that have 2 kids or more...

Did you notice that your first and second child have opposite personalities? I only have one wild child right now but a lot of parents that I talk to at the parks with more than one kid have mentioned that their second somehow ended up with the complete opposite personality as their first. Loud vs quiet. Risk taker vs careful. Wild vs calm. Good listener vs bad listener. I just noticed this ... More

  • Myrtle
    Jan 23

    My first is calm and extremely cautious. My second is very emotional and a risk taker

  • Steven
    Jan 24

    I have 2 boys, almost 5 & 3. My big guy is sensitive, my little one is not. My big guy is shy, little one the mayor. I was a shy as a kid, broke out of my shell in my mid teens. Most certainly random.

Anonymous posted in Child Care Jan 16

Sibling and different childcare

I have a 2 YO and stayed at home with her until now. I am about to start a new job and also thinking about a potential sibling in the next two years. This time I won’t be able to stay at home and will only have 3 months of leave. I feel like this is not fair and I feel bad about this potential situation. Any experience?

  • Anonymous
    Jan 19

    For us, daycare was too expensive (2.5k/month) and had super long waiting lists. My 4m old is in a nanny share now and it's the best arrangement I can imagine. The other family has a 1 year old and surprisingly they are playing together. We interviewed the nanny and found someone who is truly incredible! Basically, for half the cost of daycare, I hired 1 person to be with 2 kids (and only o... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 19

    Very interesting to hear from your experiences. I am definitely thinking about the nanny share. It might just be challenging to find another family and the good nanny

Toddler and New Baby

I have an almost 3 yo and a 2 month old. I am a SAHM so my days can be very long and hard but also very rewarding. Today my husband told me that my almost 3 yo said that Mom doesn’t play with him that much. I used to be able to play a lot but I am struggling to play as much as I used to and take care of the demands of a new baby. I’m not sure what to do about not being able to play as much and ... More

  • Nicole
    Jan 11

    I feel that way too. I’m a SAHM and have a 2-1/2 year old and 4 month old twins. I barely get time to play with my oldest anymore or take him anywhere due to the twin babies between feeding them and being afraid to go out because they’ll get sick (they were preemies and one of them was just in the hospital for 5 days with RSV so a little cautious right now). It’s so hard. I’ve been trying to ma... More

  • Sarah
    Jan 11

    I’m in exactly the same situation,...almost 3 year old and almost 2 month old sons. I felt/still feel guilty about how much less attention I can give my older son but I have also noticed that he is becoming so much more imaginative and able to entertain himself more! He also loves interacting with the baby and helps out by bringing me things, showing the baby his toys, and “teaching him things.... More

Anonymous posted in Siblings Jan 08

The middle child

For those of you with three children, how did you cope with the stigma of the “middle child”? Your first will always be your first and your last is the baby. I feel like if I were to add another child to our family I would feel incredible guilt for my second born. It seems like they always kind of get lost in the picture and it’s so difficult giving so much undivided attention to all three. The... More

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    My Daughter was the middle child also we had a hard time getting along together but I am so proud of her now. She’s a wonderful person and has given me 2 Grandchildren Cora and Sterling she served in the Airforcie

  • Marla
    Jan 26

    I also come from a family of 8

potty training with multiple kids

Hi all! Im currently in the process of potty training my 3 year old but i also have a 1 year old at home and im having a hard time trying to juggle both. any advice on how to keep the little one entertained? Hes incredibly busy and always wants to get into what his big brother is doing but i finally convinced my 3 year old to sit on the potty with some games and movies on his tablet. I dont wa... More

  • Amanda
    Dec 31, 2018

    Get a second potty!! My daughter was all over sitting on the potty and getting used to it starting at 10 months. Why not let the little one pretend to be like big brother and get comfy with the potty earlier?

  • Christa
    Dec 31, 2018

    I second Amanda- get another potty chair, and have her start potty training as early as you can! You don’t have to wait til they are 3!!! I started my kiddo at 9.5 months old potty training- he’s actually pretty well got the hang of it, and gets sooo super upset now if he wets his pants, because he forgot to communicate that he had to go!! We have a big boy potty in our bathroom and every time... More

Anonymous posted in Family Life Dec 22, 2018

Just found out I’m pregnant and I have a 15.5 month old...

So I just found out today that I’m pregnant with my second child. I’m excited but nervous . I have such a close relationship with my son and love giving him that one on one attention. I’m nervous about how my son and our relationship will be affected by my pregnancy and ultimately a new baby. My second child will probably be born just after my son’s second birthday. We were hoping to have anoth... More

  • Tj
    Dec 24, 2018

    I’m due in a few weeks right before my first child turns two, and I also felt overwhelmed like the pregnancy happened too soon. I was worried my son would t be ready to understand but over the last few months he’s grown and matured so much that the timing seems perfect for a play buddy. He knows his unborn sister’s name, says she’s his best friend, tries to share his food and toys with her, was... More

  • MommyDear
    Dec 24, 2018

    Completely normal to feel that way. My baby girl was born 2 mo before my son’s 2nd b-day. Throughout my whole pregnancy I began to tell my son that there was a baby in mommy’s tummy. Once the belly started getting bigger and we finally had a sex, we began to call her baby sister until we had a name. He would love to touch my belly because that was his ‘baby sister’ and he would also place his e... More

Multiple kiddos all under 5

So does anyone have some tips on how to manage discipline when there r multiples (a set of twins) along w three other kiddos? All at different stages and I need help managing the constant need for attention from all seems qhen I need to discuss discipline w one is exactly qhen the others want to act up oj know it's all normal but any tips would be greatly appreciated! I take the one out of ... More

  • Susan
    Dec 23, 2018

    I second Jessica above, you are my hero, I’m struggling keeping my sanity with a 2.5 & 1 yo... bravo, lady! I wish I had better insight to give, but when my toddler starts to mirror the baby’s behavior when I am disciplining her I just ignore it and she stops quick... I’m sure it’s a bit more challenging in your case though... good luck!

  • MommyDear
    Dec 24, 2018

    Oh lord! And I thought handling a 2yr and a 5mo was challenging... you my dear seem to have things under control for the most part which remember that if we don’t go insane and do a few mess-ups from time to time then we’re not doing parenting right 😂 The kiddos are pretty young and still developing, therefore, there’s only so much they’ll understand at this age but I would say patience, persev... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Dec 17, 2018

Does age difference matter?

Just curious what your thoughts are on age difference between siblings. I have two very different experiences personally. My brother is 18 months younger than me and my sister is 18 years younger than me so I have two dramatically different spectrums. My daughter is an only child and she’s about to turn 5 next month. My husband and I have debated about having another child but I’m curious if sh... More

  • Jamie
    Dec 18, 2018

    I have worried about this too. My son turned 4 a few months ago and I have finally been in a place mentally & emotionally where I am ready for another child. By the time we have another (God willing) he’ll be 5 close 6 even, I worry about the age gap but I have heard so many positive things about having an age gap that I’m not so worried about it anymore. I think when they’re younger, it mi... More

  • Lily
    Jan 05

    My husband and I want our kids close, our first two will be 22 months apart. My sister and I were 3 Years apart and we were pretty close growing up. I like close, within 5 years. But it is really up to different people!

We are expecting baby #2. How do we welcome a new baby and keep the other child involved?

My son is 16 months and will be 2 when this one is born.

  • Kennedy
    Dec 07, 2018

    My daughter is 16 months and my son is 2 months. Not going to lie, there will be moments where you just want to run away. Lol. But with that being said, my daughter has such a great and wonderful bond with her brother. Let your son help out with tasks that you do with the new baby. Like changing and getting the little one dressed. I let my daughter pass me wipes and help pick out her brothers c... More

  • Bhavana
    Dec 07, 2018

    I agree with @kennedy. My daughter just turned 2 when my younger daughter was born. We kept telling her about the baby before the little one was born. Bought her a book that we would read to her called you are a big sister. Then when the baby came home we gave our older one a gift from the baby ( little book bag) that she can take to daycare. Also asked her to help changing diapers. Singing to... More

Toddler sleep regression after new baby

We have a 2.5 year old, and recently had a new baby. We were told that toddlers have an adjustment period to new babies, so we expected some behavioral difficulties. What we didn't expect was a sleep regression. Our toddler wakes up 1-2 times a night, every night. It's been going on for about 2 months now (since right before the baby was born). He used to be a pretty solid sleeper, but... More

  • Anna
    Dec 05, 2018

    We are essentially still going through this with our 2.5 year old daughter 3 mos after our baby was born, but the best thing I think you can do now is keep consistency with quick responses. I have a method: see if they are okay (I do hand on forehead for fever), quick resettle/pat pat, “love you, bye”! Eventually I think they will get the idea that the attention they want won’t last long. Also,... More

  • Andrea
    Jan 08

    Buy “solve your childs sleep problems” by richard ferber. It covers all young ages and situations and gives great advice!

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