Tough Topics

Parenting is a long journey with high highs and low lows. Learn how to navigate the lows with children in the picture.

This is a safe, judgement-free zone to discuss loss, miscarriage, divorce, disability and other tough stuff that affects parents, children and families.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Thursday

Would you live in an area you don’t like to stay close to co-parent (Ex)

I am missing my hometown and am looking to move back. Currently my ex lives only 20 mins away and is able to see our son every week. If I move, it would be an hour at least and he would have to take him every other weekend. I’m not sure whether I should base where I live on where my ex lives, especially when my whole family lives in my hoMe town and my son could see family more. But the idea of... More

  • Amanda
    Thursday

    Specifically: my mom lived in North Carolina, where my siblings and I attended school, and my dad moved to Maryland. After my dad moved, he would make the six-hour drive every Friday, rent a hotel room for two nights, and then drive six hours back to Maryland on Sunday. My siblings and I had the option of staying with our dad in the hotel or staying at home with our mom during the weekends, but... More

  • Anonymous
    Thursday

    That sounds like a good dad for doing all of that!

Toddler Emotions

Parents that were raised in an abusive home, how have you learned to cope with your emotions while also teaching your child to cope with theirs? What techniques do you use? I am failing my child and DESPERATELY need some advice. Parents that were not raised in a hostile environment are also welcome to give advice on how they are teaching their children to cope with their emotions.

  • Anonymous
    Jan 09

    I was raised in an emotionally abusive home. I’m in a similar situation. I want to give my kids better than the upbringing I had, but despite common sense, books, and advice, it’s just difficult to raise them better when you aren’t familiar with better. I attend parent-child interaction classes so that I get hands-on training as well as unlearning of my upbringing. It’s basically what the titl... More

  • Ashleigh
    Sunday

    Overcoming intergenerational abuse is incredibly hard and a very big deal, so I want to point out you are already an awesome parent for wanting this and taking steps to do so! Something that has helped me: having a great relationship with your kids doesn't mean you have to be flawless. It means you make a point to take responsibility and reconnect when you do mess up (like after losing you... More

Getting back with my child’s father

I have been thinking about trying again with my ex, with whom I share a 3-yr-old son. We broke up 3 years ago, so our son has never really seen us together, kissing, etc. He has been wanting to try again pretty much since we broke up, and I feel like we both have changed as people and certain things aren’t factors anymore (like, for instance, his ex, who did a lot of meddling in our relationshi... More

7 weeks possible miscarriage advice

hello I just found out I am pregnant with my second child and was getting really excited. I know that my periods are longer around 36 days and I ovulated around CD 24. We had our first u/s done two weeks ago and there was a gestational sac and a yolk sac. We had another done last week and same thing but no embryo the doctor told us she was 99% sure it is a miscarriage but wants to check my hcg ... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 20

    I am so sorry you are going through this . I am in a similar situation my sac size is small but there is heartbeat and they told me I may miscarry . Hcg levels should double . I would do a follow up ultrasound . Also refer to New England journal of medicine by Peter doubilet article for criteria for diagnosing pregnancy failure .

Anonymous posted in Child & Pregnancy Loss Nov 19

Possible impending miscarriage

Hi I have a small gestational sac but the fetal pole had a heartbeat and a normal yolk sac. They told me I may miscarry . Has this happened to anybody and what outcomes did you have ?

  • Anonymous
    Nov 25

    I just lost baby baby’s heart stopped on it’s own

  • Anonymous
    Nov 28

    I’m so sorry to hear that. 😣 I hope your able to find some people in your community who have gone through similar things that you could talk to . Try to take the best care of yourself ❤️

Tips on dealing with miscarriage...

So, I lost my pregnancy with baby #2... My body hasn't started to get rid of it yet, and dr. wants me to have one last ultrasound before I make a decision on how I want to clean it out... Basically only the sac was created, but I'm still struggling emotionally... Everyone keeps saying, "Well, at least there wasn't a baby", but it's still really upsetting...

Death of a grandparent

I just lost my mom 2 weeks ago and she was the main care giver for my son since he was born. The past few months I was off from work taking my mom to her radiation and chemo treatments. So he was used to me being home. He already had separation anxiety from me before. We unfortunately lost her to a different medical condition and it was sudden. I haven't gone back to work yet but will be s... More

  • Luiz Cruz
    Nov 23

    Sorry about your loss Amanda, I hope your boy should be doing better now?

  • Amanda
    Nov 23

    Thank you, it is getting better.

Why does my 5 year old start sobbing as soon as we sit down to dinner every night?

Is she just trying to avoid eating her vegetables? I’m a divorced father who has custody 50/50. Most days we have a lot of fun, but she starts saying ‘I miss my Mom’ and crying as soon as I set the plate in front of her. Some nights she says she misses her cousin and Nanna (my mother, who lives out of state). I’m also aware that she eats take out every night at her moms house, whereas I tend t... More

  • Ivy
    Oct 26

    I’m sorry, that sounds rough. Does she like routine? Sometimes my kids will be upset for a certain event if their dad is not there because they associate the scene with him. What helps is having a sort of “huddle” throughout the day. I tell my kids briefly what we’ll being doing for the day: Good morning, it’s Monday! Lets brush our teeth and eat breakfast. Then we’ll play, ride out bikes and... More

  • Dillon
    Oct 31

    Great suggestions, thanks! She does love her stuffed animal friends, we might start having dinner with one of them, see how that goes

Separation with dad

We decided not to stay together and even if I think that’s the right decision I am having a really hard time to processing everything. We have a 2 YO and I am really worried about her.

Anonymous posted in Child & Pregnancy Loss Oct 19, 2019

Daycare worries

So I’m currently pregnant with my rainbow baby (after losing two this will be my first). Since I have had a stillbirth I am extra nervous about this one. Both me and my fiancé will have to work ASAP but I know I will be terrified to leave the baby alone with even people I know. I have heard so many horror stories and it just freaks me out to think about losing another baby especially worrying t... More

  • Vicki
    Oct 21

    If you are having someone watching baby in your home, they can start coming over while you’re still home and you can watch them with the baby and get comfortable with them and letting them know how you prefer things done. You can have cameras set up as well so you can check in when you are feeling anxious. If it’s going to be care outside the home, do a lot of research, have several meetings... More

  • Momof2
    Oct 23

    I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that!!!Not sure what state you live in but if you’re in California the disability laws are great. Even if you live somewhere that doesn’t allow for extended baby bonding time I would shop around for an OB/GYN who would be willing to work with you after your baby is born. I know a mom who had severe anxiety about leaving her baby for multiple reasons so her... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Oct 14, 2019

Separation with my husband

My husband decided to leave me over the summer, he still lives at home and we didn’t tell our 2 year old yet. I am in complete denial and trying to think that hopefully he will change his mind. However he seems set in his decision. What would you do? I am completely lost ...

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Oct 01, 2019

What should I do?

Hi everyone, I recently had a disagreement with my husband. He yelled at me for spending to much money on groceries and complaining that I’m not working. He made it sound like I’m not working so I should not spend money. He works then he can spend it. I feel hurts really hurt. I’m at home with a 2 months old, 2 years old, and a 5 years old. I am tired very tired, he doesn’t help me with chores ... More

  • Jade
    Oct 02, 2019

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can imagine how lonely and exhausting it would be having to take care of home life all on your own. It sounds like your husband is quite controlling and exhibiting some really unhealthy behaviors. This isn’t normal and you don’t have to put up with it. I would encourage you to reach out and give this number a call. They can help you figure out next s... More

  • Morgan
    Oct 03, 2019

    I would consider counseling

I did it. I separated from my abusive husband.

2 days later I found out I was pregnant. Now I have a high risk pregnancy (16 weeks along) and a 2 year old and I'm a single mom. I feel completely lost. Like a puzzle piece without a puzzle. I have no idea what to do, where to turn, where do I belong. Before this I was a sahm. Now what?? Any advice for me?

  • Lulu
    Sep 20, 2019

    Thank you Ivy

  • Katrina
    Sep 23, 2019

    glad to hear you left the abusive situation. no one deserves that. going forward it's your body and your choice what you want to do. you have full power to decided what is best for you & your 2 yo. there is no wrong choice. find support services, where he cannot easily find you. search online for single mothers support groups or support for domestic violence survivors, this may help yo... More

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I thought I was about 9 weeks pregnant because I was counting from the first day of my last period. I went for my first ultrasound and was told I was measuring just under 6 weeks. The doctor told me the yolk sac is abnormally large and the heart rate is low. She thinks it’s possible this might not be a viable pregnancy. She said she wasn’t as concerned about the heart rate as the yolk sac becau... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 15, 2019

    I don’t remember my exact numbers but with my oldest son we had the same thing. I had a large yolk sack and baby was measuring small. Once the yolk sack went away and just had the placenta everything was normal. I now I have a healthy three and a half year old. Don’t stress yourself out too much just try to be positive. Good luck!

  • K.A.M.
    Oct 19, 2019

    I was told I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks 6 days because they couldn’t find a heartbeat and my HCG levels were way higher than usual. 1 in 5 pregnancies end in the first 6 weeks, however in my case they were wrong. I am now 23 weeks along. My recommendation is to try to stay at calm as possible until your next ultrasound. It’s so hard to get any kind of accuracy as to what’s happening in the pr... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Sep 05, 2019

How to deal with ex-wife when kids are adults

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. He was previously married for 22 years and has 2 adult children ages 35 and 38 with his ex-wife. They communicated multiple times daily with texts and phone calls and 99% of the time it was not about the kids. When he and I started seeing each other it was obvious she was still in love with him...even though she's been married for 10 years... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 25, 2019

    sorry to hear you're dealing with this BS. if your husband is serious about YOU, he really needs to put his foot down and decide which side of the fence he is on. It's not fair to you for him to let this go on. co-parenting is the reality everyone has to deal with, but there is levels of respect that come with it. if your husband is going to continue to let his ex-wife disrespect you, t... More

My 4 year old does not listen, AT ALL!

He hits, kicks, bites etc. It's not just when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes just randomly. He refuses time out. He thinks he does not have to listen.. I am a single mom, his father died when I was pregnant. I've tried everything! It's as if he is not scared of anything or anyone. HELP!

  • Mrs. HHH
    Sep 06, 2019

    I’m so sorry about your situation. Have you seen a behavioral specialist? How is he at school? Or is he just difficult with you?

3 year old sleeping arrangements

Hi, My hubby passed away back on December 30 th of last year. Both our kids have slept in their room, since my hubby passed they have wanted to sleep in my room. My son is ok now sleeping in his room. My daughter has not wanted to sleep in her room. I have tried for two nights, to let her fall asleep and then transferring her to her room. One night she did alright only woke up once and it was ... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 30, 2019

    I’m really sorry for your loss. Consistency is my only tip in regards to your toddlers sleep issue. As many times as she wakes up in the middle of the night, go to her, calm her down and put her back to bed. It’s exhausting but it was the tip that we got and it has also worked for us. Except... we don’t have a loss in our family. I don’t have a 3 year old yet, but is she possibly still grie... More

  • Destin
    Sep 01, 2019

    I don’t know if this is the case, but is it possible with the loss of her daddy that she is worried about losing you too and doesn’t want to be away from you? Just a thought. It’s never too young to look into grief counseling. Loss is incredibly difficult and sometimes too much to deal with on our own. Best of luck!

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 25, 2019

What would you do if your SO decided to be a part time parent?

My husband left saying he’s not cut out for relationships. He said he doesn’t want to be tied down and wants to do what he wants when he wants. So he’s getting his place and wants the kids on his day off. He’s not gonna sacrifice anything he’s in school full time he’s getting a full time job and he wants to join organizations. I’m left to figure things out and let him be the fun dad on the days... More

  • Ivy
    Sep 01, 2019

    He has a right to see his kids, but the real narrative here, is that your kiddos have every right to have a committed father, and you have every right to not put up with an uncommitted partner. I’m so sorry you have to even deal with this. It’s not fair to you and your children, and even the rest of your families who have to deal with the rippling effects, caused by one person who can only th... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 15, 2019

    Lawyer. Now. Don't drag it out. He is not the only one affecting them negatively in this situation. Kids will see right through you... you cannot hide your emotions about this from them. You being upset about the lack of stability/predictability will come out around them and will affect them. Don't wait around for him to decide wtf he's doing. Take action.. please, for the mental he... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 11, 2019

Dating after divorce

I have been divorced twice, with one child from each marriage. My kids are 4 and 7. I have been through extensive therapy to determine why I keep choosing the wrong type of personality traits in a partner, as well as my own issues, and after 2 years I believe I’m finally ready to find the right person. I’m very concerned that I won’t be able to find someone who will be willing to handle dealing... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 13, 2019

    Thanks, that’s so nice to hear you found someone without even looking! And gives me hope! I just can’t imagine someone willing to deal with 2x the pickups/dropoffs, texts/calls, stress, jealousy, etc. ☹️

  • Anonymous
    Sep 13, 2019

    Yes! Don’t lose hope! You will find someone, there’s over a billion guys in this world. There is someone for you & your kids💕 Maybe don’t let him in on all the 411 regarding the dads. I am very open with my fiancé about my ex on everything. But I’ve noticed he does get jealous & insecure sometimes, so I keep some stuff to myself.

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