Tough Topics

Parenting is a long journey with high highs and low lows. Learn how to navigate the lows with children in the picture.

This is a safe, judgement-free zone to discuss loss, miscarriage, divorce, disability and other tough stuff that affects parents, children and families.

Anonymous posted in Child & Pregnancy Loss Yesterday

Pregnancy after miscarriage

I miscarried this week. I was 7 weeks pregnant. How soon after an early miscarriage did you conceive? My husband and I would like to try again ASAP.

Anonymous posted in Child & Pregnancy Loss Yesterday

Baby loss

Me & my fiancé accidentally ended up conceiving(I think). I never took a test I was going to wait until my period was late by a week that was going to be Sunday. I’ve been nauseous & have been having the same symptoms as my first son. However, I started bleeding this morning & while I was showering something fell out of me. I didn’t notice it until I was about to get out& when I... More

Anonymous posted in Child & Pregnancy Loss Saturday

Miscarriage

I had a miscarriage on New year's. My husband and I are distraught. The bleeding has stopped but I'm curious as to how long it will take to conceive. My doc didn't set any restrictions or time line so we are just curious how fast it could happen. Thanks all!

  • Jade
    Monday

    I’m so so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage 2 years ago and it was one of the most difficult experiences of my life! You’re not alone 💛 I had to have some medical assistance since my body was holding on to the pregnancy. So the whole process took longer than normal. But, once it was over, I think it took about 2-3 cycles before we conceived my daughter. Thinking of you and ho... More

  • Jade
    Monday

    Also- I found grief counseling incredibly helpful for my healing! It’s not always necessary, but for me personally it was needed. If you find you are feeling “stuck” in your pain, please reach out! All the best 💛

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Jan 08

Have you been in this situation? What happened? What did you do?

My son just turned 2, so he doesn’t speak much yet. The other day we were at the aquarium and we had to leave for lunch and nap. Naturally, my son wasn’t ready to leave so I wrestled a screaming toddler into the stroller. Next thing I knew, he was screaming “help me” repeatedly to the family next to us. I calmly got him in the stroller and left. First, I’m super proud that he’s now saying two w... More

  • travelmom
    Friday

    Most (reasonable) adults have either had children or have been around enough of them to know that children throw tantrums. As far as proving they're yours, how many millions of photos are on your phone? I have a friend who's child was misbehaving in a restaurant & she was "taking him to the bathroom to discuss it" and he screamed very loudly "NO, DON'TBEAT ME, M... More

  • Anonymous
    Friday

    So that’s one of the scenarios I ran through my head... police ask me to prove that my son is my son, so I show them pictures on my phone. Then they say that it’s not enough because it could just mean that I kidnapped the child several months prior and started taking pictures then. 😱 I have my photos cleared out and saved elsewhere every couple of months. My son is a mixed kid and more people... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jan 05

Separating after baby comes

Husband and I are pregnant with baby #2 and have a very volatile relationship. Neither of us are happy and have tried counseling, etc to try to make it work. Baby #2 was a surprise and we had previously agreed to separate before we found out I was pregnant. Long story short, after baby comes we will be splitting and co-parenting. We have decided this on good terms, no anger or hostility just sa... More

  • Diane
    Jan 05

    I haven't been through this but wanted to give you support and say it sounds like you and your husband will be a better team apart than together. In this case, drastic change will make life better. You may find it easier because you won't be drained by dealing with your husband and can focus all your energy on your kids and yourself. You may even get more breaks as a single mom than if ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 07

    I have a friend who did exactly this. It has been much better for their kids to co-parent but not be together. They live really close to each other to make the logistics easy. It will be hard in the beginning but just know you're doing the best thing for yourself and your kids.

Can anyone help me with this?

My mom just lost her baby girl, 6 DAYS before she was going to give birth. My mom had a nuchal cord is when the umbilical cord becomes wrapped around the fetus's neck. Symptoms present in the baby shortly after birth from a prior nuchal cord may include duskiness of face, facial petechia, and bleeding in the whites of the eye. Complications can include meconium, respiratory distress, anemia... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Jan 04

    I have no advice but I want express my sincerest condolences for your loss. It is so thoughtful for you to be seeking advice from those who have similar experiences. Maybe you can help her find a group near you. I had a miscarriage early in pregnancy (definitely not trying to compare the experience) but it helped me a lot to speak with people who had similar experiences. Helping your mom find ... More

Elissa posted in Behavior Dec 26

Help!

My five year old stepson Andrew is with us 5 days/wk. with his mother on weekends. She got a new bf (Matt, who lives two hours away) and because the courts gave her all thanksgiving day, she took him to his house and they stayed the whole thanksgiving weekend. She has made him call the new bf - second one since September - MattyDaddy right from the start. She’s trying to replace his dad and get... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Dec 12

Anyone have any luck getting Sole and legal custody

My daughter has been living with me for 6 years. Her dad comes in and out ever 6 months or so. Last time he was away for over a year. He recently popped at her school because his mom threatened to kick him out the house. Now I’m finding out I have no control if he takes her or not. I always thought I had sole custody because child support said he is the non custodial parent. He tells my daughte... More

  • Teena
    Dec 13

    You absolutely need a lawyer, but do your own research on your state laws on the requirements to terminate parental rights. Most states will not allow this unless there is another person/parent willing to step in and adopt. Your situation sounds almost the same as what I went through for years with my oldest and I finally was able to terminate his rights on the grounds of abandonment.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 27

    This a mistake a lot of people make in assuming they have more rights over the child than the other parent. Child support is a separate issue than custody or visitation. While you can file for sole custody on your own having a lawyer will help because they know your states laws. Also if you can prove the dad has been in and out of her life. My nieces mom disappeared when she was 22 months old l... More

Separate parenting issues

This would be my first post on here. Really hoping to get some real insight and advice.. my daughter who just turned 10 yrs, recently started seeing her dad again. He hasn't seen her in over a yr. Anyway, my daughter tells me he has been bad mouthing me to her and saying things that aren't true. Things like me using her against him (which isn't true) . I was actually the parent tryi... More

  • Angie
    Dec 14

    Hmmm, thats a tough one cuz you need to stop this but dont want to lose her trust. Try explaining to her that secrets are not to be kept between adults and children. Honestly, do you know if your ex is a narcissist? This sounds like behavior of a narc. I just recently permanently stopped communication and visitation with my childs father for many unhealthy reasons due to being a malignant cover... More

  • SWAGGERDAD
    Dec 14

    Hey, I think you should have a talk with him and when I say "talk "not about bad mouthing you but Have a conversation, by the looks of it he's hurting inside, that why he's bad mouthing you to his daughter. As a Man and a Father I don't agree with he's action, he's wrong for doing that and using his daughter against her mom. He thinks he's hurting you by bad... More

Anonymous posted in Mental Health Dec 11

Parental Compassion or Postpartum Anxiety? Triggered by Tragedies in the News

I have a 1 year old and am a news junkie... or at least was before the baby. Here’s my problem- almost daily some tragedy involving kids or babies makes the paper (including the migrant caravan seeking asylum, etc). I honestly didn’t give it much thought before having a kid. Now it’s devastating- I carry these stories around with me (for months), imagining what the parents are going through. ... More

  • Mrs. HHH
    Dec 21

    I thought about seeing a shrink to help me get over this EXACT ISSUE! In fact I was gonna post about this on Winnie but was fearful I was overreacting. I too am haunted for months after hearing/reading horrific instances of abuse, neglect on children. My own child goes to bed every night safe, clean, full belly, feeling secure. EVERY CHILD SHOULD HAVE AT BARE MINIMUM THAT RIGHT THERE. It driv... More

  • Shal
    Sunday

    Oh my god... yes. After having my daughter, I'm weak.. I had to give up all my favorite murder mystery shows just in case there is a child involved.. I can't watch news or I have to screen the synopsis of everything I might watch. It's such a weird thing.. but I read somewhere once that there is actually a part of the brain that changes after childbirth, that makes mothers more sens... More

Anonymous posted in Pets Dec 03

Pet loss

If anyone is dealing with the loss of a family pet and wondering how to comfort their children during this process the book “Dog Heaven” is great to help them grieve and somewhat understand the loss of their pet. Also what helped us to communicate the death of our dog to our 3-year-old was to be honest and upfront, use the words “he died,” and say it’s ok to be sad or mad about it.

Who has had several miscarriages?

I’ve had 3 miscarriages I have a daughter who will be 2 I’m trying to connect with women who have had pregnancy loss and I am now trying to cope with waiting to try again while I see everyone else have it so easy

  • Ally
    Dec 03

    I had a miscarriage January 2017 and did not quit trying, I chose to see what would happen and let things be. I ended up pregnant with my second son in May 2017 and immediately talked to my Dr about doing progesterone treatments weekly. My son was born strong and healthy December 22, 2017 exactly one week and 2 days after my last treatment, he was 3 weeks early.

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    My first positive was on April 2015 and when I was about 6 weeks 4 days, I went to the hospital with horrible bleeding and they told me it was twins. I’m like 99% I lost baby B that day because of all the bleeding (I never heard her heartbeat - I’m convinced it was a girl lol idk why. Then I lost my second twin (Baby A) at 11 weeks (had miscarriage symptoms the night before and had a D&C th... More

I need some support from my other mom's on here me and my feonca just split up last night it was bad

  • Vanessasarver
    Dec 05

    Thank u so much

  • Jill
    Jan 04

    I just went through the same thing a few months ago. We have a now 1 year old little boy. Boy is it tough! Not only being a single Mom (not sure how involved your child’s Father is but mine sucks) but dealing with the grief and loss of the relationship. I don’t know your situation or circumstances but just stay strong! It’s a process but it will get better! Reach out to friends, family, a couns... More

Anonymous posted in Trauma & Grief Nov 29

Need suggestion for gifts for my daughter's daycare teacher who just lost her husband.

She has two young children as well. I would like to give something to them as well. Any suggestions would appreciated. Thanks

  • Amanda
    Dec 11

    Meals are always a huge help. Sometimes you just forget to eat but if it's right there and you can smell it, you're more likely to do so. Also, check back after a few weeks to let them know you still care. Normally, after the funeral, everyone goes back to their lives and now you're alone.

  • Emily
    Jan 05

    Depending on the cause of death, a donation to a like charity in the person’s name is thoughtful.

My boyfriend's complicated + expensive divorce stresses me out. How do I live with this?

I posted a few months ago and it made me feel so much less alone in my situation... so now I'm back for more. For over a year I've been dating a single dad. He's the best. He's raising 2 kids mostly on his own. The kids seem to like me and I've been getting to know them better. My boyfriend and their mom are in the process of getting divorced. It is complicated for many re... More

  • Teena
    Dec 13

    You are on the right track!! I am in the same situation and I was so stressed out until someone said something that changed my whole outlook....His divorce is none of your business. I know it seems harsh, but truly it is not. His marriage was not your relationship and neither is his divorce. If he wants to come to you for support, then support him, but you cannot and should not be making any of... More

  • L
    Dec 13

    Yessss! Thank you Teena. I agree. It is none of my business.... Also I know this baggage isn't really going anywhere so a lot of it is about how I relate to the situation. He's started sharing less of the details with me and that has made it a little easier.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Nov 22

🤦🏾‍♀️ Family issues

I’m just so irritated. I don’t even know what to do. His family are in doubt that he is the father of my child. His father and I know for sure he is biological father to my son. I have not slept with anyone but him. His family goes on and on about I don’t think he is yours. So they all want DNA proof. Why should we get one when we know for sure he’s the dad? His oldest brother still in doubt bu... More

  • Lily
    Nov 24

    I would just stop talking to them and not let them see him until they give it up. Because it doesn’t matter and is definitely gone of their business. Don’t get the DNA test unless it is something you want. They have no say it that what so ever. Because that kind of thing is definitely something you don’t want them talking about as he gets older.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 28

    If you know and he knows then who cares what his family thinks. I dealt with this with my son his dad kept telling him to get a DNA test because at the time we weren’t married. We never got one and my son looks exactly like his dad. I wouldn’t stoop to their level

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Nov 22

How do you guys split holidays with family and in laws?

Especially with divorced parents too

  • Anonymous
    Dec 03

    I’d really like to do that, I get grandparents want all their kids over to their house for the holidays but I want to have our kids do it at our own place. It’s really hard when mil and fil are divorced we’re torn between three sets of grandparents

  • Jennifer
    Dec 28

    We used to run around thanksgiving & Christmas to my parents, his dad and his mom. Finally I just had enough. Since my family never seemed to have traditional thanksgiving food and that was a bigger holiday for his family to get together we now go to his grandma house with his his mom for thanksgiving. My parents are usually out of town visiting my aunt so we don’t do anything with them. Ch... More

Strangers making faces on the bus

I ride the bus to and from daycare with my toddler and often strangers try to engage her by talking to her and making faces at her. Almost always she gets visibly uncomfortable and looks away, but they continue. I don't want her to grow up thinking she owes strangers any interaction. I'm thinking of speaking up and saying, "I know you're just being friendly but you're makin... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 27

    I hated when I was little and strangers did that, but I would have been a lot more uncomfortable if my mom had said anything. Confrontation makes me anxious. It depends on your child

  • Hope Brown
    Friday

    I stopped caring about strangers feelings when an old lady ran her fingers through my newborn's hair without even remotely asking if it was okay to touch her. We hadn't left the hospital yet.

Miscarriage pcos bleeding

I miscarried a few months back. I have pcos. I got my first period after last month it was pretty average. I was surprised to get one since I have pcos I had to take medicine to make me ovulate to get pregnant to begin with. I went a year without getting my period before I took the clomid. Well a month passed and now I got my period again. I ovulated and all. I was super excited but here I am n... More

  • Lulu
    Nov 17

    After my miscarriage I started bleeding during ovulating. Could this be what it is? I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is with you.

  • Lily
    Nov 24

    I am so sorry for your loss, I had a miscarriage earlier this year. My period was always the same even after I had my first kid. But after my miscarriage it has been very different. If you are worried, you can also go to your OBGYN. Just to make sure Everything is good:)

Anonymous posted in Trauma & Grief Nov 10

Marriage?

I’ve had a very abusive marriage for the time I’ve been married to my spouse. During my pregnancy it got physical and I left for a while. It always stops and continues later on. It reached a point after 2 years of this where I finally involved the police. It’s been mental, emotional, verbal, and physical and we currently are not allowed to have any contact towards each other. The night I called... More

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    Remember that if you leave, HE is disbanding the family by choosing to be abusive...if he wanted the family to stay together, he would’ve treated the mother of his son with respect. You deserve more and your son deserves more. What if he also was abusiva towards your son? What if your son was scarred from it and was too messed up to have a family of his own or was abusive towards his wife? Don’... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 28

    Leave. For your own sake. For the sake of your son. You deserve better. Just leave. You'll be glad you did. Take back control of your life. There is so much good out there that you'll be able to fully experience once you're out from under this dark cloud.

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