Tough Topics

Parenting is a long journey with high highs and low lows. Learn how to navigate the lows with children in the picture.

This is a safe, judgement-free zone to discuss loss, miscarriage, divorce, disability and other tough stuff that affects parents, children and families.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Monday

Separation with my husband

My husband decided to leave me over the summer, he still lives at home and we didn’t tell our 2 year old yet. I am in complete denial and trying to think that hopefully he will change his mind. However he seems set in his decision. What would you do? I am completely lost ...

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Oct 01

What should I do?

Hi everyone, I recently had a disagreement with my husband. He yelled at me for spending to much money on groceries and complaining that I’m not working. He made it sound like I’m not working so I should not spend money. He works then he can spend it. I feel hurts really hurt. I’m at home with a 2 months old, 2 years old, and a 5 years old. I am tired very tired, he doesn’t help me with chores ... More

  • Jade
    Oct 02

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can imagine how lonely and exhausting it would be having to take care of home life all on your own. It sounds like your husband is quite controlling and exhibiting some really unhealthy behaviors. This isn’t normal and you don’t have to put up with it. I would encourage you to reach out and give this number a call. They can help you figure out next s... More

  • Morgan
    Oct 03

    I would consider counseling

I did it. I separated from my abusive husband.

2 days later I found out I was pregnant. Now I have a high risk pregnancy (16 weeks along) and a 2 year old and I'm a single mom. I feel completely lost. Like a puzzle piece without a puzzle. I have no idea what to do, where to turn, where do I belong. Before this I was a sahm. Now what?? Any advice for me?

  • Lulu
    Sep 20

    Thank you Ivy

  • Katrina
    Sep 23

    glad to hear you left the abusive situation. no one deserves that. going forward it's your body and your choice what you want to do. you have full power to decided what is best for you & your 2 yo. there is no wrong choice. find support services, where he cannot easily find you. search online for single mothers support groups or support for domestic violence survivors, this may help yo... More

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I thought I was about 9 weeks pregnant because I was counting from the first day of my last period. I went for my first ultrasound and was told I was measuring just under 6 weeks. The doctor told me the yolk sac is abnormally large and the heart rate is low. She thinks it’s possible this might not be a viable pregnancy. She said she wasn’t as concerned about the heart rate as the yolk sac becau... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 15

    I don’t remember my exact numbers but with my oldest son we had the same thing. I had a large yolk sack and baby was measuring small. Once the yolk sack went away and just had the placenta everything was normal. I now I have a healthy three and a half year old. Don’t stress yourself out too much just try to be positive. Good luck!

  • K.A.M.
    Yesterday

    I was told I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks 6 days because they couldn’t find a heartbeat and my HCG levels were way higher than usual. 1 in 5 pregnancies end in the first 6 weeks, however in my case they were wrong. I am now 23 weeks along. My recommendation is to try to stay at calm as possible until your next ultrasound. It’s so hard to get any kind of accuracy as to what’s happening in the pr... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Sep 05

How to deal with ex-wife when kids are adults

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. He was previously married for 22 years and has 2 adult children ages 35 and 38 with his ex-wife. They communicated multiple times daily with texts and phone calls and 99% of the time it was not about the kids. When he and I started seeing each other it was obvious she was still in love with him...even though she's been married for 10 years... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 25

    sorry to hear you're dealing with this BS. if your husband is serious about YOU, he really needs to put his foot down and decide which side of the fence he is on. It's not fair to you for him to let this go on. co-parenting is the reality everyone has to deal with, but there is levels of respect that come with it. if your husband is going to continue to let his ex-wife disrespect you, t... More

Tracy posted in Behavior Sep 05

My 4 year old does not listen, AT ALL!

He hits, kicks, bites etc. It's not just when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes just randomly. He refuses time out. He thinks he does not have to listen.. I am a single mom, his father died when I was pregnant. I've tried everything! It's as if he is not scared of anything or anyone. HELP!

  • Mrs. HHH
    Sep 06

    I’m so sorry about your situation. Have you seen a behavioral specialist? How is he at school? Or is he just difficult with you?

Sarita posted in Sleep Aug 27

3 year old sleeping arrangements

Hi, My hubby passed away back on December 30 th of last year. Both our kids have slept in their room, since my hubby passed they have wanted to sleep in my room. My son is ok now sleeping in his room. My daughter has not wanted to sleep in her room. I have tried for two nights, to let her fall asleep and then transferring her to her room. One night she did alright only woke up once and it was ... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 30

    I’m really sorry for your loss. Consistency is my only tip in regards to your toddlers sleep issue. As many times as she wakes up in the middle of the night, go to her, calm her down and put her back to bed. It’s exhausting but it was the tip that we got and it has also worked for us. Except... we don’t have a loss in our family. I don’t have a 3 year old yet, but is she possibly still grie... More

  • Destin
    Sep 01

    I don’t know if this is the case, but is it possible with the loss of her daddy that she is worried about losing you too and doesn’t want to be away from you? Just a thought. It’s never too young to look into grief counseling. Loss is incredibly difficult and sometimes too much to deal with on our own. Best of luck!

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 25

What would you do if your SO decided to be a part time parent?

My husband left saying he’s not cut out for relationships. He said he doesn’t want to be tied down and wants to do what he wants when he wants. So he’s getting his place and wants the kids on his day off. He’s not gonna sacrifice anything he’s in school full time he’s getting a full time job and he wants to join organizations. I’m left to figure things out and let him be the fun dad on the days... More

  • Ivy
    Sep 01

    He has a right to see his kids, but the real narrative here, is that your kiddos have every right to have a committed father, and you have every right to not put up with an uncommitted partner. I’m so sorry you have to even deal with this. It’s not fair to you and your children, and even the rest of your families who have to deal with the rippling effects, caused by one person who can only th... More

  • Anonymous
    Sep 15

    Lawyer. Now. Don't drag it out. He is not the only one affecting them negatively in this situation. Kids will see right through you... you cannot hide your emotions about this from them. You being upset about the lack of stability/predictability will come out around them and will affect them. Don't wait around for him to decide wtf he's doing. Take action.. please, for the mental he... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 11

Dating after divorce

I have been divorced twice, with one child from each marriage. My kids are 4 and 7. I have been through extensive therapy to determine why I keep choosing the wrong type of personality traits in a partner, as well as my own issues, and after 2 years I believe I’m finally ready to find the right person. I’m very concerned that I won’t be able to find someone who will be willing to handle dealing... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 13

    Thanks, that’s so nice to hear you found someone without even looking! And gives me hope! I just can’t imagine someone willing to deal with 2x the pickups/dropoffs, texts/calls, stress, jealousy, etc. ☹️

  • Anonymous
    Sep 13

    Yes! Don’t lose hope! You will find someone, there’s over a billion guys in this world. There is someone for you & your kids💕 Maybe don’t let him in on all the 411 regarding the dads. I am very open with my fiancé about my ex on everything. But I’ve noticed he does get jealous & insecure sometimes, so I keep some stuff to myself.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Aug 09

Tips, First Time going to Court..

Currently waiting for court day (mediation) My childs Father has 2 other kids from 2 Different Girls and has visitation for both those kids every other weekend.. 1 is court ordered and the other is verbal agreement but still pays child support.. I did get a lawyer to help me out .. i hope it won’t be a waist of money . but i truly feel that my kids father should only get my kid every other wee... More

  • B
    Aug 09

    Talk to your lawyer ahead of time about what you want, and what proof you should bring.

Anonymous posted in Grade Schoolers Aug 07

How can I reassure my anxious child that she is safe?

My very sensitive 7 year old saw some of the recent news coverage of the mass shootings while watching TV with my husband. She ran out of the room crying and later told me about it when I got back from swimming with her little sister. The next day at summer camp, some kids were playing cops and bad guys and that evening she ended up sobbing uncontrollably and unable to sleep. She told me she is... More

  • Myrtle
    Aug 12

    I’m so sad this is the world we are raising our kids in! I think it’s most important to validate her feelings of fear around it. It is super scary as an adult (and even more so as a child I’m sure) to think about somebody coming into school (or any place really) and shooting people. I might avoid telling her things like you live in a safe neighborhood. I’m sure most of the people who sent thei... More

  • Rhiannon
    Aug 21

    Hi! I came across another book post and thought of y'all. It's about anxiety in general. As a worrier from a young age, I understand how crippling anxiety can be. As an adult, therapy and mindfulness have helped me. At her age, I hope something like this book about worrying could provide some of that helpful framework. https://happilyeverelephants.com/home/popular-kids-books/I'm-wor... More

Anonymous posted in Child & Pregnancy Loss Aug 06

No Period Following Early MC

I posted on here a little over a month ago that I had an early miscarriage at about 7-weeks. I miscarried naturally (didn't need to get a D&C) and my doctor confirmed my pregnancy test was negative 2-3 days after the miscarriage started. It's been almost 7-weeks since the miscarriage and I haven't had a period or any signs that it's on the way. I haven't taken a pregnanc... More

  • Katrina
    Sep 25

    I think it’s normal. I had a similar situation. Early MC. Natural miscarriage. Felt like forever till I got my period again. It’s common

  • Anonymous
    Sep 25

    Thanks for the comments, everyone. I know this post is a bit old... but, I ended up taking a test after I posted and am now 11 weeks pregnant. I wish everyone well.

How do you talk about mass shootings with your kids?

I'm gutted by what is happening in our country and especially how I'm going to talk to my older one about all this in an age appropriate way. How have you approached talking about it with your kids?

  • Anonymous
    Aug 06

    Is your oldest 4? That seems a little young to go into details. If anything, just talk about safety with staying close to parents or caretaker in these situations. Did your 4 year old ask about it? You don’t want to scare them. Preserve their childhood. Just remind them that parents, teachers, caretakers are there to keep them safe while they play so it’s important to follow rules and look to... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Aug 03

Fed up with husband’s anger

My husband gets mad at me all the time. I feel the issues are everyday life occurrences that other people don’t get blamed for or called a screw up over. I did a family activity yesterday and was an hour late to pick up our son from our babysitter. I said I thought we should be done around 5 and got there a little after 6. My husband was so mad at me because he felt it was rude. I know i... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 08

    It is NOT normal, right, or good. It is not your fault. Your husband clearly has a real problem with his anger, temper, and control. All of us have ways we make mistakes or can improve our thinking on something, or improve responses in the moment, but that does not cause or warrant the reactions you are experiencing. I don't have advice for you. But I felt I had to respond to you afte... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jul 30

How do you maintain a relationship with a SO that leaves you

We have two kids, he decided he couldn’t be a full time dad because it was holding him back from his aspirations and he isn’t meant for monogamous relationship (marriage) so he didn’t to separate. He says he cares about me and I’m the best wife anyone could’ve asked for etc. It just hurts so much. I’m so angry. But I need to try and swallow all that to have a healthy co parentship for the few... More

  • B
    Jul 31

    That’s his problem, not yours. He can take them to the playground. I mean, it’s petty. And you’d be nice to let him see them at your house. But if it’s too hard now and you need some space it isn’t an unreasonable ask. You can communicate via email or text about the kids if needed.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 31

    My daughter's father blocked my phone, email, and all social media after realizing I would not abort our daughter. He abandoned her the first year of her life Its infuriating and he disgusts me, but a week before her first birthday he contacted me. He lives in another state and cant afford a hotel so when he visits he stays in my house. Its uncomfortable for me but I make the sacrifice for... More

Leaving daughters father

I'm wanting to move out with my daughter. What do I do? Any suggestions?

Anonymous posted in Blended Families Jul 26

Boundaries with coparenting

My ex and I get along well, we are both engaged to new partners, we have a 6 year old that lives with me and stays with him one night a week. Our son just had surgery and has a 2 week recovery, so he won’t be able to go back and forth between houses. He is going to stay with me since he is mostly always here. His dad insists he should be able to come and spend time with him for a couple hours, ... More

  • Anonymous
    Jul 27

    I disagree with your fiance. I live with my boyfriend and my daughter. Her father tends to come up once a month to visit. When he does, he stays in our house (he would never be able to afford a hotel stay) and we cover food. I dont like my ex. My boyfriend doesn't like my ex. The visits aren't always super comfortable, but we love our child. Her father is finally making an effort to be ... More

  • Serrina F.
    Oct 09

    I'm in a similar situation like yours with my oldest son and his father who has a wife and another child together and than there's my fiance whom I have a child with. So what I would say to that is to have a sit down with all the adults to make everyone as comfortable as possible and come to some kind of agreement, understanding. Especially being that this is a special situation with a... More

Threats from grandparents

Hello everyone. I just wanted to tell my whole story and get opinions from others. Please be nice. This is a tough time for me. I had my first son at 19 and we lived with my parents for about 5 years until I moved out, married my husband and now have two more children with him. My oldest is now 10 and we just moved back to the same state as them after living on the other side of the country for... More

  • K
    Jul 25

    You are in no way wrong. Doesn’t matter who they had over, if you feel uncomfortable it’s your right to take your child out of the situation. I know how sensitive family ties can be; I’m sorry that you have been threatened for making a choice as a mother. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do for everyone is take a break until the issues can be resolved without the kids involved. I hope your par... More

  • Anonymous
    Aug 08

    Oh nooo. I’m so sorry. I’d stop allowing any overnights and even day visits. Your parents cannot make decisions for your child. You’re the parent now, not them. I’d tell them that until they can respect your rules and boundaries they can’t have alone time with your kids. Also, please be careful about letting them make decisions for your child. The only incident where grandparents rights apply i... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jul 24

Separation parents with a 2 year old

Hello, I didn’t think I will post this one day but this is happening. I am thinking about leaving my husband after 11 years together... Our little one is only 2. I would love some feedback on how to handle the situation to protect her. Thank you...

  • Anonymous
    Jul 25

    Gotcha. I mean, she’s little but there are lots of books you can read with her repeatedly to explain it. It’ll be an adjustment. They say to try to find a way to put your differences aside and be good co-parents, and coming to agreement on how pto do that.

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