Trying to Conceive

The road to parenthood starts even before you conceive and a little support can go a long way.

Whether you're just starting to think about a baby or have been trying to get pregnant for awhile, this is a safe space to discuss and ask questions along your journey.

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Monday

Does age difference matter?

Just curious what your thoughts are on age difference between siblings. I have two very different experiences personally. My brother is 18 months younger than me and my sister is 18 years younger than me so I have two dramatically different spectrums. My daughter is an only child and she’s about to turn 5 next month. My husband and I have debated about having another child but I’m curious if sh... More

  • Terry
    Today

    I have a daughter who is 48. When she was 11 I had a son. She loved her brother and was such a big help!! When my son was almost 5 I had another daughter. He took to her and was very protective! Now that they are 48, 37 and 33, they are very close. I said once that when I die, I know that they will be ok because they have each other and will be there for one onother.

  • Jamie
    Today

    I have worried about this too. My son turned 4 a few months ago and I have finally been in a place mentally & emotionally where I am ready for another child. By the time we have another (God willing) he’ll be 5 close 6 even, I worry about the age gap but I have heard so many positive things about having an age gap that I’m not so worried about it anymore. I think when they’re younger, it mi... More

Pregnant?

Period three days late trying to get pregnant but all test are still showing negative:( I’m confused

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Dec 05

How to approach the subject with your partner about having another baby?

Hello. My husband & I have a 4 year old son. Initially, I wanted to have 2 kids close in age. No more than 3 years apart. Well, our son is now 4 years old and I’d really would like to start trying to have another baby at the beginning of next year. My husband, however, would like to wait until we start building our house which would be in another 3 years (we’re working on our land in some... More

  • Valerie
    Dec 05

    If you’re both working on building your home, you being out of commission for the duration of a pregnancy will put a lot of pressure on him. Also with a newborn to care for, you will be unable to help him and he will be unable to help you with the baby if he’s busy on the house. Resentment in both directions is a possible outcome. My husband built a tiny house to use as an office during my preg... More

  • Hope Brown
    Dec 07

    Have your FSH tested if you're concerned with lowered fertility. My siblings and I are far apart in age and we have a close relationship. I don't think that has anything to do with age spacing but how much you're willing to work on the relationship. If you're trying to help build a house it's not a great idea to be pregnant and postpartum. FYI the rate of developmental compl... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Dec 03

Best time to start trying for a baby?

In your experience, what is the best age to start? My husband and I are 24 and thinking about trying soon. But of course, we’re scared! Feel free to add details about your experience!

  • Polli
    Dec 04

    The only thing I can add to the advice you’ve already gotten, is make sure your mental health is taken care of before trying and think about how many you want. Every couple knows their right time, I’m 28 and my boy is turning 4 months this week. We only wanted one child and last year turned out to be the right time for us to try and I wasn’t afraid of being too old for my child down the line. ... More

  • Carissa
    Dec 04

    Everyone is right when they say there is no right time. You will never be stable enough or have enough money or be completely ready for a baby BUT you can at least have a plan. Do you have insurance? Because medical bills will be expensive! What about daycare? Will one of you be staying home or do you have family near by? Daycare is crazy expensive so you’ll need to make sure you can afford it.... More

Who has had several miscarriages?

I’ve had 3 miscarriages I have a daughter who will be 2 I’m trying to connect with women who have had pregnancy loss and I am now trying to cope with waiting to try again while I see everyone else have it so easy

  • Ally
    Dec 03

    I had a miscarriage January 2017 and did not quit trying, I chose to see what would happen and let things be. I ended up pregnant with my second son in May 2017 and immediately talked to my Dr about doing progesterone treatments weekly. My son was born strong and healthy December 22, 2017 exactly one week and 2 days after my last treatment, he was 3 weeks early.

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    My first positive was on April 2015 and when I was about 6 weeks 4 days, I went to the hospital with horrible bleeding and they told me it was twins. I’m like 99% I lost baby B that day because of all the bleeding (I never heard her heartbeat - I’m convinced it was a girl lol idk why. Then I lost my second twin (Baby A) at 11 weeks (had miscarriage symptoms the night before and had a D&C th... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Dec 02

Only Child?

For parents who have opted to be "one and done" - what influenced your decision not to pursue conceiving another child?

  • Cherish
    Dec 04

    I was an only child so honestly I have a difficult time with the squabbling/blaming/lying siblings engage in. I did have a second child but my son was born 22 years after my daughter so it like I have two only children.

Anonymous posted in Breastfeeding Nov 29

Is it possible to get pregnant if you are breastfeeding?

I’ve been trying to have baby number 2, but I can’t get pregnant. My son is 14 months and I just now stopped breastfeeding him.

  • Jessica
    Nov 30

    Most definitely 👌 We have a 9 month old breastfeeding on demand and just found out I’m pregnant.

  • Emily
    Nov 30

    I wouldn’t get discouraged. Sometimes it does effect hormones and other things and can make it harder for some women. It’s not impossible. But again it depends on who. Just track your cycle as best as you can. And don’t stress.

Miscarriage pcos bleeding

I miscarried a few months back. I have pcos. I got my first period after last month it was pretty average. I was surprised to get one since I have pcos I had to take medicine to make me ovulate to get pregnant to begin with. I went a year without getting my period before I took the clomid. Well a month passed and now I got my period again. I ovulated and all. I was super excited but here I am n... More

  • Lulu
    Nov 17

    After my miscarriage I started bleeding during ovulating. Could this be what it is? I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is with you.

  • Lily
    Nov 24

    I am so sorry for your loss, I had a miscarriage earlier this year. My period was always the same even after I had my first kid. But after my miscarriage it has been very different. If you are worried, you can also go to your OBGYN. Just to make sure Everything is good:)

Started my period today...... no baby once again.

I got off of the depo shot back in August and started prenatal to increase our chances of baby number two but month after month I keep getting my period. How do I even know if I’m ovulating? I want to be so angry and cry at the same time... ugh :(

  • Lily
    Nov 15

    Get the tests for your ovulation like a week before you think it will happen. We were trying for number two after a miscarriage and my ovulation was like 3 days earlier than before. We had been trying with no luck because of that. The month I Tested a week early we got pregnant. It’s all about timing! I have learned it is way harder to get pregnant when you are trying!

  • Lily
    Nov 15

    Also some birth controls help you get pregnant right after you got off. Depending on the kind

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Nov 05

Debating having a 3rd kid

I am really struggling with this concept and am hoping to have an " ah ha" moment. I have 2 beautiful kids , ages 4 and 20mo. I have always wanted 2-3 but have realized more recent that I've always aired more towards 3. My husband has always aired toward 2, and still does but will be on board if I strongly think I'd regret not having a third. I'd say my biggest argume... More

  • Amanda
    Nov 06

    We’re in the same spot your are right now. 4 year old son, 18 month daughter. My husband and I feel like we want a third (and last baby), but we are aware of all the changes and sacrifices that will bring. But, I’ve just gone off birth control and we’ll see what happens. I am 34, so maybe it won’t happen? But if it does, we’ll all be happy.

  • Lily
    Nov 09

    Have three! None of the things will matter once you meet your baby:) and You don’t want to wait too long, because then the 3rd will be too young with the others

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Nov 04

Birth control

I have the skyla IUD and as we plan for another baby I’m thinking about when I should take it out.... my ob says as soon as it’s out I can become pregnant. But I’m just looking for personal experiences. Did it take you longer to conceive? Should I get it out a few months before trying?

  • Liv
    Nov 05

    I don't know about the IUD, but I got my implant removed and became pregnant 2 weeks later. Never had my first period! We expected it to take a few months at least. But it CAN happen fast. I'm not sure if your IUD contains hormones or not. That may play a role in it. But be prepared if you take it out, anything can happen :)

  • Anonymous
    Nov 05

    Zendy- yikes that freaks me out :( Liv- yes!!! I’m such a planner I have the time frame all picked out.... hope it happens fast for us too!!

PPD and baby 2

I had some pretty intense PPD with baby number one, and only really got back to myself when he was close to 8 months... what is your experience with ppd and baby 2? We’d like to start thinking about our next, but the ppd worries me 😔

  • Lauren
    Nov 07

    A good support system means the world with ppd. I was okay with my first son it stopped pretty soon but my second son I was a mess. My husband and friends and honestly my oldest son played a huge part in helping me get back to myself. A therapist could also be a huge help but I'm a very reserved and guarded person so I never tried. We have just decided to try for another and I am very conce... More

  • Kendall
    Nov 07

    Lauren- thank you for sharing your experience!!! I was just curious if it’s typical to happen again if it’s happened before?? I’m glad you were able to bounce back! My husband is in the military so being without friends and family is what played a giant roll in it I’m sure! I should really do some research to get a therapist on my side for next time:)

Anonymous posted in Infertility Nov 03

How to tell my friend I’m pregnant whose struggling with infertility

A good friend of mine has been struggling with infertility since the birth of my daughter 1.5 years ago. She’s since gone through 2 ivf cycles, multiple surgeries and tests and nothing is working. We’ve had our struggles because I have my daughter and it’s hard for her to see me sometimes but I’ve been a big source of support for her and am always there to listen. I went through my own fertili... More

  • Andrea
    Nov 04

    I’ve been on both sides of this situation. I hated that a friend had worried so much about how to tell me when I was struggling... and in turn, I hated telling a different friend my news (with baby #2) when she’s been struggling for so long. In both situations, everything turned out fine. Of course I was jealous when my friend told me (especially bc it was an accident), but I was way more exci... More

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    I am the only person aside from my best friends sister that she’s been happy for. But I also had 2 miscarriages before my baby so she knows I’ve struggled too. I have no advice other than the fact that she’ll want to know before anyone else, I think. She’ll feel the pain no matter what but don’t make her feel like she’s not important by telling others first.

It's incredibly difficult to get pregnant

I have never been pregnant and this is my first time trying. I went to the obgyn about a year ago and she said to wait until I have been trying for at least a year. it's been off and on of trying with my fiancé since then, because of his child from his previous relationship, going to court to try for equal time- sharing for both parents and the stress that comes with that. We aren't m... More

  • Lily
    Nov 09

    Stress is something that can make it harder. Start taking ovulation Test, tracking your period. I use Clue, it’s an app. And yeah, it’s hard, because it really is only like 24 hours.

Anonymous posted in Sex Oct 29

No sex life.

My husband and I have no sex life It’s not just days, weeks, months but it is YEARS. Almost 3! We have intimacy, we kiss and hug throughout the day, cuddle and he does cute things like slaps me on my bum while I’m cooking dinner. We have occasional date nights too. I honestly just don’t know how to get in the mood. I just can’t “do it,” — and I’m not a very sexual or sensual person. We ar... More

  • Anonymous
    Nov 02

    Here the same! It’s been a year no sex and I’m afraid he could find some one else just for that! 😑

  • Michelle
    Dec 05

    Hug longer, touch more and make out.....all of this puts me in the mood. Then, even if it doesn’t, I lead him to the room and as soon as he starts it..I finally get in the mood. Good luck!!

Surrogacy

Lately I have been thinking about being a surrogate for a family who can’t conceive. I have a two year old and I am a stay at home mom. I brought it up with my boyfriend and he does not support it. What do you think? Is he right, wrong? I get where he is coming from to an extent but not fully.

  • Anonymous
    Dec 06

    Valerie . “Men’s egos are fragile” okay and ? That’s not her fault . “That isn’t adding to your family” really? You have a child so clearly you have no clue what it’s like not to conceive one . If Amanda was to do this she would be adding to someone else’s family. Which is beautiful. Don’t turn it into something anything other than that .

  • Elle
    Dec 07

    If it's something that lasts only 9 mo ths (plus a few months for recuperation, lets say 1 yr) ... And is a meaningful experience to you, I think he should be supportive or at least open to the discussion. In the course of your relationship, 1 yr is not that long. Maybe he has fears or concerns. Try to get him to air them. Maybe they are things that can be addresssed, mitigated. Or maybe t... More

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Oct 26

Baby number 2?

Really wanting to conceive our second child but having trouble.. Has anyone had trouble getting pregnant the second time? I have a one year old son that just stopped breastfeeding but I've been fertile since March! Any tips?

  • Gretchen
    Nov 07

    I got pregnant with my first right away. The second took a year. I think it took awhile because 1) I was older and age makes a big difference 2) I gained a lot of weight after my first child and did not lose it. I started using an ovulation predictor test which you can buy anywhere

  • Lily
    Nov 09

    Sometimes your body just isn’t ready yet, I got pregnant 7 months after, and lost that pregnancy. I am 6 weeks pregnant again, with my first baby being 14 months. I don’t know why the second pregnancy didn’t last, but my body not being ready could be one

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Oct 26

Late period but Negative test

Anyone have a late period, 7 days, but have a negative test? My son was a false neg so I really am not sure about it after that. I took a clear blu test which I here isn’t very reliable for early testing. I did have one very faint positive but retested and it said neg

  • Anonymous
    Oct 28

    I do know stress can make you miss or late but the weird thing is I m not under and new stress. The same stress I’ve have for the last year so it’s weird lol thank you all for your help!

  • Lily
    Nov 09

    I would check again with a dollar Test every day for the next week, mine the lines keep getting darker

Baby fever already?! What is wrong with me?

So my baby boy is 7 months old in a week. Out of the blue, I’ve had this huge desire to have another baby and soon. What the hell? I’m already pretty busy with this guy and my husband and I plan to try for another in about a year and a half. I know it’s not healthy to have a baby one after another, but where is this coming from? Anyone else have this?!

  • Gretchen
    Nov 07

    My experience is women that have wonderful babies (i.e. sleep through the night at 2 months) want to have another baby right away. Always keep in mind that every baby is different and every pregnancy is different. I felt way worse with my second pregnancy. Two kids is much more work than you can imagine.

  • Mariahj
    Dec 07

    My baby girl is 8 months and I want another one , omq and I’m 23

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