A Guide to Potty Training Methods

As exciting as it is to imagine a life without diapers, the thought of actually potty training can be overwhelming. With all the methods and advice out there, there is so much pressure for parents to do it “right”. The truth is, all healthy, typically developing children learn to use the toilet eventually. But, if you are on a timeline for daycare/preschool or want to move the process along, here is a guide to five of the most popular potty training methods. 

Potty Training Methods Overview

1. Oh Crap
2. Child-Oriented
3. Straight to underwear
4. Rewards & Charts
5. No Formal Training
6. Potty Training & Special Needs
7. Potty training with carpet

Books and resources to help you get started

One of the best ways to introduce children to new routines is through books. A few weeks or months (or days if you are a last-minute person like me) stock up on some potty books and incorporate them into your child's day. Start to have conversations about saying goodbye to diapers soon and introduce them to the idea of potty training. There are even some tv shows that have whole episodes dedicated to toilet training. 

The “Oh Crap” method aka the 3-day potty training method

Who it’s for: Parents who want to get potty training done quickly and don’t mind getting a little pee on the floor for the first few days. You also have to be able to commit to not leaving the house at first, so over a long weekend or vacation is ideal. This method is based on a book, but there are cheat sheets you can find, too. 

The gist: You let your kiddo roam without pants (naked on the bottom) for the first day. Anytime they start to pee (likely on the floor) you say “oh, looks like you’re peeing! Let’s go to the potty” and bring them to the toilet or potty seat. The goal is to get your child to connect the physical sensation of having to pee, with actually peeing. Same situation with poop. You stay in the pantsless phase until your child can either tell you they need to use the potty or go use it themselves, and then you move on to wearing pants but no underwear. The Oh Crap Method actually advises against wearing underwear for the first few weeks because it is tight and snug like a diaper and can trigger accidents for some children. 

Pros: It may be one of the more straightforward approaches since you are teaching your child to recognize the feeling of having to use the bathroom right from the beginning. It is also one of the faster, more efficient methods. There is no forced sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to come out. You can move at your child’s pace. 

Cons: You have to watch your child like a hawk the first day to catch them peeing and it can get messy.

The child-oriented method

Who it’s for: Parents who want to take a slower, gentler approach to toilet training. It can be started when your child starts showing signs of readiness. 

The gist: You take your child to the store, buy them a potty and encourage them to sit on it fully clothed at first, just to get used to sitting on it. You empty their diaper into the potty when you change them and explain that this is where pee and poop go. Place the potty in a conspicuous place and allow them to run around naked. The goal is for them to spontaneously sit on the potty and use it themselves. You can help guide them, but the method suggests letting the child think using the potty is their idea, not yours. 

Pros: Since it is all on your child’s timeline, there is no pressure involved. 

Cons: This method can take a few months to complete, so if you are on a time crunch, this may not be the best method for you.

The straight to underwear method

Who it’s for: Parents who want to ditch the diapers for good and aren’t comfortable with letting their child wear pants without underwear (as suggested in the Oh Crap method).

The gist: You take your child to the store and let them pick out underwear. You make a huge deal of how much of a big kid they are. Remind them that if they need to poop or pee, to use the potty. They will mostly likely pee or even poop in their pants at first and that’s okay because the goal here is for them to feel the discomfort of wet or soiled underwear and to not want to do it again. After a few accidents, your child may start to associate the feeling of having to pee with actually using the toilet and will start to use it regularly. Don’t go back to diapers or pull-ups once you have started, stay the course and it will come together in time. 

Pros: You don’t have to explain to your child’s teacher why they are going commando, since they are wearing underwear. 

Cons: Things will get messy. Also, some children do not mind the feeling of poop in their underwear since they are used to feeling their poop against their body in a diaper. So, this method may take a bit longer for some children.

The rewards/charts/bells and whistles method

Who it’s for: Children who are motivated by earning stickers or small treats. Parents who are on a time crunch and need a more parent-directed approach. 

The gist: Sit your child on the toilet every few minutes and wait for something to come out. When they go, give them a small treat (M&M’s is a popular one), a sticker or other reward that motivates them. Keep repeating the process of having them sit and rewarding them for going, until they start to self initiate or indicate that they need to go, then you can back off a bit and let them lead. 

Pros: If your child is motivated by earning stickers or treats, this can get them excited to use the potty and can make the process fun. 

Cons: Weaning off the treats/rewards can sometimes become an issue. When do you stop giving a reward, and if you do, will they refuse to use the toilet or engage in a power struggle? Also, some experts say that using the toilet should be intrinsically motivated, and bribes and rewards are not advised.

No formal training at all

Who it’s for: Some parents and experts believe that formal potty “training” isn’t necessary and it is a milestone each child will accomplish in their own time.

The gist: The thought behind no formal training is that a toddler’s natural urge is to resist and push boundaries and that can roll-over into potty training. Fans of this method feel that using the toilet is something that all healthy, typically developing children will do in time and there is no reason to put undue pressure on them. You can model using the toilet, allow your child to sit on the toilet if they want but you wait for them to initiate the process and you wait for them to decide to be done with diapers. Janet Lansbury, a parenting teacher, explains that if a child makes it to age 4 without using the toilet, that social pressure begins to kick in at this age and they will want to use the toilet because their friends are. 

Pros: Since this is all on your child’s timeline, there is no pressure and maybe no peeing on the floor either. Since you are waiting until your child initiates on their own, the process of actually learning to use the toilet may happen rather quickly.

Cons: Depending on your child’s temperament, they could self-initiate using the toilet as early as eighteen months or as late as four years old. If your child needs to be able to independently use the toilet by a certain age for daycare or preschool, this method may not be appropriate. 

So what is the best method for your child? You are the expert on your child. Trust your gut, go with what you think will work best for them and tune out all the rest!