Are You “Sharenting”?: Approaching Social Media as a Parent

From pregnancy announcements to preschool graduations, today’s parents are documenting their proudest moments online via social media. By sharing their experiences, parents have created a digital “village” to find support and information unique to their generation. 

In fact, with so much of our lives being played out on social media, experts have coined the phrase “sharenting” to refer to sharing parenting experiences online. The level of comfort around sharing family life online varies from parent to parent, but it is important to define your boundaries when it comes to your child’s digital footprint and communicate them early and often with all the caregivers in your child’s life. 

Where did the term "Sharenting" come from?

Documenting a child's life in photos isn't new, parents have been making baby books or keeping diaries for generations. With the rise of the internet and social media, many parents moved to keeping online photo albums and documenting their lives digitally.

The Wall Street Journal is credited for coming up with the term "Sharenting", and they originally meant it to refer to parents "over-sharing" about their children's lives online. The term can traced back to as early as 2010. 

Today the term is less derogatory and used more to describe the act of sharing your parenting experience online.

What are the pros of Sharenting?

The internet can be a place for parents to crowd-source answers to common questions about potty training, feeding, and toddler tantrums. Especially new parents, who may not have anyone else with same-age children, finding people to share the joys and struggles of new parenthood with can be life-saving, even if it's virtually. 

• Build your own village: Some parents don't live close to family, or may not have friends with children. By sharing their experiences online, they find others who are in the same boat. 
• Know you're not alone: Parenting can be lonely sometimes and it may feel like no one else is going through the same thing you are. Connecting with other parents, even virtually, can help you feel like you're not alone. 
• Learn new things: There are so many "experts" sharing their hacks and tips for life with children. If they were worried about sharing too much, we wouldn't have access to such great information! Thank goodness for sharenting!
• Stay connected: If you have family that lives too far for frequent visits, it's nice to be able to share photos or funny videos of your kids to help them feel connected. 

What are the cons of Sharenting?

There are some real benefits to sharing your life as a parent virtually, but it has its downsides too.

• Privacy is tricky: Once something is on the internet, it's hard to remove it. Your child may grow up and not want certain images or details about them online. 

• Communication breakdowns: Things can get misinterpreted easily when communicated through text or email, or someone may be insulted if they find out information through social media rather than in person. 

Creating boundaries 

Some parents have documented every moment of their child’s life online while others prefer to keep their family life private. As a parent, it is your right to choose what gets shared about your child online and it is important to define what you are comfortable with. Can grandparents post photos from a zoo trip on their Facebook page? Is it okay for your childcare provider to share your child’s image on their website? These are all things to consider when communicating your boundaries with the adults in your child’s life. 

When you are registering your child for daycare or preschool, you may be asked to sign a photo release.  Some providers are very specific about allowing parents to pick and choose what they are comfortable with, whereas others use a more generic release form. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or let your provider know if you’d prefer your child’s photos not to be shared with anyone but you. 

Sharing photos with family and friends

If you are looking for ways to share photos of your children with family and friends but want to avoid social media, there are alternatives! From websites like tinybeans to the private photo sharing app, Cluster there are options available for every comfort level. There are also sites like Shutterfly or Snapfish where you can create photo books and have them sent directly to your loved ones. 

What to keep in mind when sharing photos online

While everyone has their own comfort level with social media, there are a few things you definitely want to avoid when posting online. First, avoid posting nude photos of your child. Although you may feel the urge to capture and share an adorable moment, there are laws and restrictions around nudity to protect children on the internet. Second, be careful when posting photos of other people’s children. If you don’t know whether the child’s parents are ok with it, it’s best to err on the side of not posting. Finally, just like you would be careful sharing personal information about yourself, you should be just as careful when it comes to sharing personal details about your child.

More tips for sharing online

• Keep it confidential: You may choose to use a fake name for your child online if you're worried about privacy, or not post their name at all.
• Blur images: If you are worried about privacy, or someone using a photo of your child elsewhere on the internet, you can blur the faces or add emojis to disguise your child's face.
• Set up a Google Alert: A Google Alert will let you know whenever your child's name is mentioned online. This can help you keep track of their "digital footprint".
• Trust your gut: Ultimately, there is no perfect formula for what you should or shouldn’t share online. The internet and social media can be important tools for connecting with friends and family especially when you cannot be together in person. It’s up to you as a parent to decide the right level of online sharing for your family and make sure that the other adults in your child’s life are abiding by the guidelines you set.