Tia Sauls
Tia Sauls is an early education specialist who helps families and educators navigate the child care, early education, and K–12 landscapes.
Yes, the first five years of your child’s life flies by in a blink of an eye. But in those few short years, your child develops a lot. Not only physically or verbally but emotionally and socially as well.
From the newborn stage to five years of age, children go from using crying for communication to being able to comfort a friend because they now understand emotions. Whether you are an expecting parent or already a parent , knowing more about your child’s social and emotional development helps you better support them.
Here we take a look at the social and emotional milestones from new born up to five years old and what you can expect. Now bare in mind that these are only general milestones, each child develops at their own pace.
Why Social and Emotional Development Matters
You may not think it but social and emotional skills set the foundation for almost every other development phase in a child’s life. These skills evolve and develop rapidly in the first 5 years.
Once your child feels secure and understands their emotions, they are better able to build relationships, share with others and regulate themselves through stressful situations. These skills also build towards the confidence and independence children need for school and beyond.
Social and Emotional Milestones by Age
Although there are general social and emotional milestones, it's important to note that every child develops at their own pace. This means that just because your child may not be displaying a general milestone, it may not be a red flag.
Birth–12 Months
- Calms down when spoken to or picked up
- Smiles spontaneously and enjoys being cuddled
- Recognizes familiar faces and may show fear of strangers
- Reacts when you leave the room (reaching, crying, or looking for you)
- Enjoys simple games like peekaboo and pat-a-cake
- Shows a preference for certain people or toys
1 Year
- Plays games like pat-a-cake or peekaboo
- Shows a clear preference for certain people and toys
- Shows affection, such as hugging or cuddling
- Tests your reaction to their behavior
2 Years
- Copies others, especially you and older children
- Shows defiant behavior (doing things they've been told not to do)
- Plays mostly beside other children, but starts including them in simple games like chase
- Looks at your face to gauge how to react in a new situation
3 Years
- Shows what they can do by exclaiming, "Look at me!"
- Follows simple routines and basic social rules
- Dresses and undresses with some help
- Plays cooperatively with others
4 Years
- Comforts others who are hurt or sad
- Pretends to be someone else during play (playing house, pretending to be a superhero)
- Initiates or asks to play with other children
- Starts to manage strong emotions and begins to understand right and wrong
5 Years
- Follows rules and takes turns when playing games with friends
- Performs simple chores at home (matching socks, clearing the table)
- Shows more independence and can sing, dance, or act
- Displays concern and sympathy for others and understands emotions by reading facial expressions
Simple Ways to Support Your Child at Each Stage
According to the National Library of Medicine, a supportive role is essential to establish attachment and the skills needed for a child’s social and emotional development.
Supporting your child through their social and emotional milestones, doesn’t require a degree. In fact, there are many simple things you can do right from the comfort of your home that can help your child.
|
Age |
What Helps Most |
|
Birth to 12 months |
Remember that at this stage your child learns from your responses. So to strengthen their emotional development, respond promptly and warmly to cries. Not only will this create comfort but it builds trust. |
|
1 to 2 years |
Because parents are a child’s first teachers, naming their emotions, can help them become familiar with it. For example, when a child throws a toy away, say something like, you look frustrated right now, how can I make it better? |
|
3 years |
At 3 years old, children are better able to communicate, but they still learn through seeing. Here you want to model good social skills and emotional regulation. This can be done by sharing during play time and communicating clear and simple expectations. |
|
4 years |
With your child’s imagination in full gear, take advantage of this to strengthen emotion and social skills. Join them in pretend play, doing this will allow you to gently coach them through conflicts, giving them some room to solve it on their own. |
|
5 years |
At 5 years old children are ready to handle small responsibilities that can build independence. You can use reading time to openly talk about feelings helping them know that you are a safe space to talk to when needed. |
Other Ways to Support Social and Emotional Development
All forms of learning and development take place in many different environments. And the same can be said for social and emotional development. Children greatly benefit from other relations including daycare, playdates and extended family.
Child care and daycare, even part-time: having to navigate group activities and a caregiver's routine, allows your child to build independence and emotional resilience that can’t always be achieved at home.
Friends and playdates: even brief, regular playdates give your child the opportunity to work through small disagreements, build social comfort and practice sharing.
Extended family and multigenerational time: spending time with cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles exposes children to different personalities and relationship dynamics. This can teach them about different communication styles which helps them learn how to adapt socially.
When to Talk to Your Pediatrician
Every child develops on their own timeline, so occasional variation isn't a cause for worry. That said, it's worth mentioning to your pediatrician if your child:
- Shows little interest in interacting with familiar caregivers or other children
- Rarely shows affection or emotional expression appropriate for their age
- Has ongoing difficulty calming down or moving between activities
- Isn't engaging in pretend or cooperative play by the expected age
- Seems to have lost social or emotional skills they previously had
Trust your instincts as a parent. You know your child best, and a quick conversation with your pediatrician can offer peace of mind either way.
Key Takeaways
From new born to the age of 5, social and emotional milestones progress from basic trust and confidence to cooperative play and emotional understanding. Everyday support whether at home, daycare, or with friends and family, can help your child progress.
And if you feel like anything isn’t quite progressing as it should, a quick chat with your child’s predation is a good next step. This growth doesn't happen alone, either, so it's worth also keeping an eye on language development milestones and executive function as your child grows.
