For Dads

Modern dads are a different breed — they take pride in being good fathers and are more likely to be the primary caregiver than ever before.

Men share and discuss what it means to be a dad and their unique role in the family, whether they are a stay-at-home dad or working outside the home.

Anonymous posted in Family Life Feb 13

SAHM, does your SO remind you how you’re not working/bring home a paycheck?

It seems like anytime we argue my SO brings it up. How I can’t spend money. Or paying the bills. Etc. it just hurts my pride so much, I used to work and did whatever I wanted with my money, Now with kids, we thought it’d be better for me to stay home and watch them so we won’t have to pay for daycare.

  • Rebosarl
    1h ago

    He just needs to do it himself by himself with no one there to help him.

  • Rebosarl
    1h ago

    I’m sorry, you are earning him around $800 a month by not sending kids to daycare already. So you do deserve it.

Parenting with Pain/Injury/Chronic Illness

To preface, I don't have kids of my own yet. But I am at the stage of life (late 20's/early 30's) when I'm beginning to seriously consider starting a family. One thing that I have always been cautious about is a chronic injury that I have. As a teenager, I was a gymnast/diver and ruptured several discs in my lumbar spine that have left me with chronic pain. I have always been ne... More

  • Gen
    Jan 30

    I have degenerative joint disease and spinal stenosis in my neck and lumbar spine. I do PT once a week and strength training once a week. I have chronic pain, and two children. The first pregnancy wasn’t too bad, but there were definitely some issues after. I had dequirvain’s thumb for a while after, but PT helped that. But my back pain wasn’t any worse. The second pregnancy was harder, I had... More

  • Karen
    Jan 30

    I have an autoimmune disease with inflammation symptoms, as well as a hemangioma on my leg that makes walking or bending my legs hard sometimes. Having a kid is hard with chronic pain and low stamina, but it also pushes to me to be active when I might otherwise be sedentary. It’s a daily struggle, but in the long term for me, having a child is going to help me live a healthier, longer, fuller l... More

Tipping the Sitter

Hi All! I am scheduled to babysit for a family tonight, and one of the parents just let me know that they will pay my base rate plus a tip at the end of the night. I've had other families give a tip, but most of the families for whom I babysit don't offer tips in addition to my hourly rate. I'm curious to know if tipping the babysitter is a relatively common practice? I'm also c... More

How do you find time to read?

I’ve got a growing book stack of baby how-to’s, sleep training, and toddler manuals to get to, and the stack is as tall as my 16 month old. By the time I can find the time to read one, he’s already moved into another age and the book will no longer apply! How do you do it?

  • Anonymous
    Jan 08

    I don't! I read books I enjoy, I follow Instagram accounts, and listen to podcasts about the topics I need help with when it comes to my toddler and preschooler. I can listen to it while I'm working out or in the car, and who knows if my kids are listening too, maybe they will learn how to do it themselves 😂

  • S
    Jan 10

    @anonymous_mom you/your niece could charge the rest of us $x in order to access the notes to parenting books. I know i'd pay for notes on books i already wanted to read but didn't have time to!

Problem need advice

My father in law wants to watch my 3 year old daughter for a weekend to spend time with her. The problem is, I don’t feel comfortable with that. I just don’t trust him for some reason. Don’t get me wrong, my daughter always gets excited to see her grandpa, but I have my reasons and we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. He also seems to have a grudge against me. So my question is: Am I wro... More

  • anonymous mom
    Nov 26

    Trust your gut. By and large, most instances of abuse happen by family members or close trusted friends, not some random person you don’t know. My daughter is only 2, and I talked to my husband a lot about this before she was born. My mil is not traditionally abusive, but she’s extremely manipulative and she’s also used to getting full access to her older grandchild from my sister in law. The... More

  • Anthony
    Dec 06

    Child surveillance, is cheap and easy. (Amazon) All my kids have tags; and some even do 12 hour audio recording. This might sound extreme but if you really wanna know.

Anonymous posted in For Dads Oct 03, 2019

Dad doesn’t understand how toddlers work

Husband does a lot around the house (minus kitchen), and I do most of the parenting and anything related to the kitchen. During an argument I realized he doesn’t understand how a 15mo old thinks. He says she only wants what she wants and he thinks it’s wrong/he can’t always Give her what she wants. She should want what dad wants. So, She is whining for me but I’m cleaning tub because we had s... More

  • Morgan
    Oct 04, 2019

    I second sarah

  • Anonymous
    Oct 04, 2019

    You all are amazing!!!!! Thank you!!! And you’re all so right. Men just know we will take care of it but that’s not how co-parenting works. It’s a struggle-bus over here, and don’t know when I get off this bus but I’m working toward it! ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Jul 17, 2019

BabyCenter forum users

Does anyone find BC forums to have cyber bullies? I mean yes, some people ask dumb questions, but sometimes it’s in times of desperation or emotion, and sometimes it’s a troll asking to be attacked... but there are some users in my birth group that are complete assholes and are relentless and pick you apart and then that person is like, wait do I need to literally type everything out in order f... More

  • Ivy
    Aug 02, 2019

    I think, a lot of opinionated or aggressive personalities tend to comment. They’re usually the ones who have something to say when more level-headed people don’t. They don’t think “if you have nothing nice (or constructive) to say, don’t say it at all”. A lot of these negative/ unnecessary comments defend themselves saying “it’s my opinion, I can say whatever I want”, but really... does that me... More

Courses and continued learning

What are some classes you have or would like to take that you feel would be useful as a stay-at-home parent? Ex: CPR

  • PK
    Jul 12, 2019

    I took a child development class, one where we were allowed to bring our kids with us to class so that they could play and socialize while parents/students discussed the topics. Part of the class requirements was to develop an activity and craft that was age appropriate.

  • Natasha
    Jul 15, 2019

    Child development classes, cpr, cooking, organization, home maintenance... anything that will benefit you and what occupies your day,

Anonymous posted in Stay-at-Home Dads Jul 10, 2019

“Do you still LIKE being AT HOME?”

I always get asked this question and wonder how others handle it. It completely annoys me because what I want to say back is “Do you still like going to work?” I know that staying at home (which I hate that term because we are always out) is not for everyone but I feel like people say it to me since they don’t always know what to say.

  • Anonymous
    Jul 11, 2019

    If it’s genuine for me to ask them if they like working but don’t you miss being with your children, then sure?

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Jul 07, 2019

What do you say when people ask what you do all day?

Hi! How do you respond to people when they ask you what you do all day? I'm a stay at home mom with a child who now attends preschool.

  • Suz
    Aug 10, 2019

    Not that it’s their business but some things I did when my kiddo was at preschool but before my 2nd baby arrived include managing the house and bills, researching schooling/ nutrition/ health concerns for the child(ren), self/care such as doctors appointments, dentist, physical therapy or anything needed like that, prepping for meals needed later in the day/week, making calls / being present f... More

Father’s Day Board Books for Toddlers?

Father’s Day is this week! Just want to add in a board book that my toddler & his daddy will enjoy reading together. Any suggestions? My toddler is currently 17 months but he enjoys reading & listening to his daddy read. Thanks!

Baby time

I’m a stay at home dad, I try to keep up with the house chores while the baby sleeps, but it not always possible, and sometimes I feel bad about leaving the baby in the play pen so I can sweep and mop the floors. I feel like I should be entertaining or doing more activities with him. Is it normal to feel this way? And is ok to leave the baby in the play pen for brief periods?

  • Lauren
    Apr 29, 2019

    If baby needs you baby wear or have baby on your hip. I know my husband realizes how much I do but he doesn't understand the juggling act it takes. I felt bad just like you are saying so I reevaluated and finally found what works for us. I clean during nap times and do a power hour clean. Then I prep any food I can to make supper easier and pack lunches for my husband. Another good time t... More

  • cocomac
    Sep 01, 2019

    This question is everything!!! And are the responses!! #parentguilt

Work at Home Dad (to be)

I work at home (Data Analyst) which is great because I can easily drop the child off or pick up from daycare, doctor appointments, emergencies, etc. This is our first child (expecting mid/late June) and I know there’s a ton I don’t know. Working at home I’ve become accustomed to doing the laundry, cleaning, cooking, and errands during my workday. Just little things in between meetings and what ... More

  • antigrav_kids
    Apr 26, 2019

    I'd suggest finding a local drycleaner and ask about laundry by the pound. If you go with cloth diapers, it was so worth it to me back then just to pick up the laundry clean & folded. Sorry, I'm not sure if you're going to be hanging out with the kid during the day, but if so, I'd also suggest picking up a wrap rather than a stroller. Once you have the wrap take the kid wi... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Apr 20, 2019

Does trying to have a second child make you subconsciously feel like a sperm donor?

Not sure if this is a unique thought process, but my wife and I have been trying to have another baby for a couple of months now. Maybe I’m crazy, but this whole process makes me feel like I’m just part of the process. It’s very unromantic, and one so far is such a handful. I’m feeling pretty stressed, and my wife hasn’t really asked me if I’m ready at this point. Anyone experience similar fee... More

  • Anonymous
    Apr 23, 2019

    Oh yes. We tried for almost two years for our third baby. The problem for me was my wife only wanted to try when the calendar said we should or when the ovalation test said so. It all felt very mechanical and pressured. Like you say it was unromantic and didn’t help us feel closer as a couple. Sure I thought I wanted the baby but it wasn’t enjoyable just stressful. Really stressful. To the poin... More

  • CheerioMama
    May 21, 2019

    Yep. It kind of takes the fun out of sex honestly. The fun comes back once your pregnant because the pressure is gone. Don’t worry! It’s probably only temporary!

First time Father, Wife in pain

My wife is hurting so much, and I feel helpless. She is 6 months pregnant. She claims they are Braxton Hicks contractions, and with her being very independent I feel absolutely useless to help her pain. Does anyone know of some tips I could use to help her manage the pain, or get comfortable to where the contractions are bearable?

  • Christa
    Apr 09, 2019

    My husband would rub my stomach when I was pregnant with our first, and then have me sit or stand which ever I could do more comfortably in the shower, under warm water. Also she can do moist heat. Get a hand towel wet and put it in the microwave to get it warm and lay it across where it’s hurting. It could also be round ligament pain, which hurts like a bitch. I’d get those a lot too. Yoga is ... More

  • Julio
    Apr 19, 2019

    A bath with candles and foot rubs. Simple but effective

Anonymous posted in For Dads Mar 30, 2019

I have no idea what to get my husband for his birthday!

We are having our first baby in June and going on a babymoon in a couple weeks (to Washington DC). Our last day there will be his birthday. Any recommendations for gifts or special things to do? TIA!!

  • Anonymous
    Mar 30, 2019

    What does he like to do? I’d do a fancier dinner together or a fun romantic thing. I live in DC if you want ideas.

  • Kathleen
    Mar 31, 2019

    Take him to a nats game. As for restaurants is he a foodie? There are lots of great restaurants here

Present fathers.

About 5 months ago I was let go of my job and it hit hard because not only did I ran out of money personally I am I father of 4 very energetic children My wife is more responsible than I am, thank God. So it was a long 121 days of retrospection and difficult feelings realizing how inadequate I am as a man. I told the ego to take a hike and I stripped myself of ideas I identified with and values... More

Mommy and me???

Trying to be an involved Father is a challenge, no doubt. I’m online looking for activities to do with my son (14 months old) and it seems like everything is angled towards Mommy and Me. What about pops? Just saying.. am i the only one that notices this?

Struggles of an older dad

Hey all, I’m a 50 year old father of 4 year old twin girls and I feel a little alone in my position. I’m very self conscious about the fact that I’m an older dad. We just moved to New Jersey (from Brooklyn) and we are in a community with tons of families. I find myself constantly looking at other dads and being jealous of their youth. My mind is always calculating how old I will be for all the ... More

  • David
    Mar 19, 2019

    Hey John, I can relate I’m 56 and my daughter is 7. I really feel out of place with other dads. A lot of times when I’m out with her people always refer to me as her grandpa. I feel like I am a little late to the party. It’s hard to go to a outing with her and then allow the other dads are in their 30’s. I don’t know how to make the situation any different.

  • Ingrid
    Nov 02, 2019

    My husband is 47 and our daughter just turned 1. We're thinking of a second one but he recognizes that he'll be close to 50 probably by the time that one comes. Anyway, what he says is: "There's pros and cons to being older — hopefully being older, you're more patient, wise, more financially stable. Physically though he says it's tougher on the body for sure than if you... More

Postpartum Blues?

Hello! I’m a first time father to a 5 month old baby girl. I’m new to Winnie but I wanted to express my feelings about being a dad. About 2 months after she was born, I started to experience increased anxiety and even some physical symptoms, like sweating/loss of appetite etc. I’ve always been susceptible to anxiety and have seen a psychiatrist for many years and for the most part I’ve been... More

  • Anonymous
    Jun 14, 2019

    My husband is going through the same . I don’t know how to mention to him that needs to look for help. Our kid is 2 now but he still anxious and super worry for everything, I feel that is getting worse and it is putting to much friction between us. I want to help him.

  • cocomac
    Sep 01, 2019

    My husband went thru similarly, except he was more like one foot in, one foot out. And the one foot out, kept trying to pawn off his duties to the grandmas. I felt incredibly alone and helpless because I want his help, I want him, I wanted my life partner, I wanted the father to my child to be there for me. Finally I got through to him around 3 months post partum and I begged him to open his he... More

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