For Dads

Modern dads are a different breed — they take pride in being good fathers and are more likely to be the primary caregiver than ever before.

Men share and discuss what it means to be a dad and their unique role in the family, whether they are a stay-at-home dad or working outside the home.

Anonymous posted in Parenting Culture Monday

Helping a SAHD

When my daughter was born my mother helped me take care of her. I had about 5 months of maternity leave so I was at home for a good while, but once I returned to work, she took care of her alone while myself and my husband were working. Now our routine has changed and my mother returned to work. My husband is now a SAHD and while he does an amazing job I need to help him with getting her on a r... More

  • LaVona
    Monday

    We recently transitioned to the same set up. Before we started i created a scedule for them to get ideas on how to plan his days. He morphed this into his own schedule. I told him how important it is for a child to have a structured day with set times for naps, food and play. The different typed of play for developement and growth. The variety of foods that we needed to hit each week. He has ... More

What to do

So my daughter is growing up and I would like to create a closer bond with her, what should I do to do this ??

Advice for myself.

So I’m basically gonna be brutally honest here. I don’t have friends at all and I spend all my time with my babygirl unless I am working. I was thinking should I go out there and make friends or should I just stay the way I am?????????? I mean I am very selfish when it comes to my daughter and I don’t ask for ppl to take care of her when is not needed. I literally take her everywhere with me li... More

  • Ricardo
    Sunday

    Girl! Go out, I give mommy, mommy breaks when she's a stay at home mom and takes care of my gmomey daughter. It's good to take breaks, enjoy yourself and well. Live your life too! ❤

  • Twinki
    Monday

    I feel like any time I spend outside of out of work, school or my kids... my husband makes up crazy stories of why I’m not at home. I never gave him reason not to believe me. It’s his past that he is so untrustworthy. I have a zero social life. Not even social media social life. Ikr?! I tried a girls night at our last duty station but that was a fail. I work full time, go to school full time ... More

Anonymous posted in Mental Health Oct 06

Paternal Postpartum Depression?

Does anyone have experience with their spouse being depressed after baby was born? My husband has been uncharacteristically frustrated with our second baby. With the first, he bonded very quickly. Last night, the baby started to cry and he insisted on trying to calm her down even though he seemed frustrated. I offered to do it and for him to take our toddler instead, but he wouldn’t let me take... More

  • Josh
    Oct 06

    New dad here to a wonderful week old girl. Has your partner stated he has PPD. I was actually talking to my wife today that sometimes it is frustrating. Not in a negative way towards the baby as in I don’t love her or have a connection. More in a I want to be more active during night hours so she can get more sleep and rest in between feeds. Maybe his frustration is resulting from the same? Tr... More

  • Anonymous
    Oct 07

    Thanks New Dad, it seems my husband and you are on the same page about medications, lol. I don’t think he wants to be more active/involved as we already take shifts, but I do think he is such a good dad to the first that he wants to be able to be the same kind of father to the second. I think that he doesn’t remember how hard it was with the first because he kind of took the lead for me-he had ... More

Dad App for advice & info

I downloaded this app & I like it. Wanted to share it with all of you dads out there! It’s called “Daddy Up”. Gives tips for you & even some relationship advice.

Keith posted in For Dads Sep 17

National At Home Dad Convention #homedadcon2018

Just got back from Orlando and I highly recommend this convention for any Stay At Home Dad out there. Luckily it is coming to Minneapolis next year!! The bonds of the brotherhood of fatherhood are so strong at these conventions and I come home every year more patient, more playful, and with new tools for listening, teaching, and caring. As more details come out I will put up new posts in h... More

  • Keith
    Sep 18

    The programming is all day Friday and Saturday. There is usually a convention welcome event Thursday night and optional extracurricular events Tuesday and Wednesday

  • Stay-At-Home Dan
    Sep 18

    I will definitely try to go next year. It would be great to meet other SAHDs and learn more to facilitate my role as a father.

Expecting Dad...

Is it bad or normal that I still don’t believe I’m having a baby...My wife (since she is the one pregnant) is very excited and tells me all about it & I don’t know what to say sometimes as it’s still not sinked in my head... I do get excited from time to time thinking about the idea of it. Experienced dads out there? What’s your story?

  • Jessica
    Sep 26

    My husband said it didn’t hit him until the baby popped out :) he even “faked” feeling the baby kick just to make me happy. You’ll get there!

  • Michele
    Oct 10

    Being a father often doesn't become real for men until they hold their baby for the first time. Very normal!

Any suggestions or tips I should be aware of?

Going to be a dad for first time. Due date April 2019! Nervous & excited at the same time...any suggestions or tips are welcomed! Dads out there!

  • Josh
    Oct 01

    New dad to a wonderful 5 day old girl. Here are some pro dad tips I’ve learned very quickly: 1. Make sure you get plenty of sleep during the actual labor. Once that baby comes out you and your partner will be handled your little one on the very same day/ night 2. Zip up onesies and Velcro swaddles are life savers. The Halo swaddle is expensive but worth every penny when you’re running on 1 ho... More

  • Christian
    Oct 01

    Thanks Josh! Congrats by the way!

Postpartum depression for dads.

Has anyone’s SO dealt with depression after the birth of a new baby? Looking for advice. I know men don’t have all the hormonal shifts that new moms have but it’s a lot of change and is overwhelming for the dads too but I don’t hear people usually talking about it.

  • Anonymous
    Sep 10

    Sometimes even the best support person isn’t enough to combat mental illness. Don’t be scared to seek real help.

  • Alexis
    Oct 06

    My husband swears his stomach hurts when I say my stomach hurts. Maybe he just sympathies. I’m just about 7 weeks

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Aug 30

Random thought.

Single dad here and my son is turning 4 in January and he is starting to look for his mom.

  • Felicia
    Aug 30

    Have you tried to explain to him why she’s not there ? In simplest terms at least.

  • Stephanie
    Aug 31

    I would be as honest as possible. Children are smarter and more intuitive than we think. I’d start off by giving him, her name and explain in the simplest way why mama isn’t around. I can’t imagine having to have that talk but in the end your son will thank you for your honesty. Good luck to you :)

Anonymous posted in Babies Aug 28

What can I do to help my husband take on his role as father?

I'm just at a loss right now. I don't know if anyone else has gone through this with their partner, but I feel like hearing from some of you may help. Forgive me if this is long. My husband isn't spending as much time with our son as I'd like nor taking some of the responsibility. It's really at point that unless I ask him to do something or my son has been screaming for a l... More

  • Jen
    Sep 21

    It sounds like he may want to be a dad. But he has to be taught how. People assume this is a given but so many people don't know how. There is no shame in it. Esp when he has no real father figure. Look into a dads class to take usually they are free. I've seen some in my community that offer it for parents. Or call a social service organization and they will guide you. Even one hour ... More

  • Ricardo
    Sunday

    Maybe he lacks parenting skills or he is afraid of being a responsible daddy. It isn't easy, with the lifestyle change, family change, etc. As a daddy myself, I fully understand what's hurting you, I also suggest in talking about it one on one first before seeking professional help. But talking (communication) is key to get your feelings heard. I hope this helps.

Looking for birthday gift ideas for my daughter who is about to turn two. TIA!

  • Diana
    Aug 26

    Ours just turned two two weeks ago. We got her block, age appropriate, play dough sets and a chalk board. Books are also a good option

  • Jillian
    Aug 28

    Subscription to ABCMouse.com. It’s supposed to be a really great online workshop (games activities etc) for little ones before they head off to school

Dani posted in Behavior Aug 24

3 year old

Anyone have tips on how to discipline a 3 year old when nothing works.

  • Damon
    Aug 29

    It real depends on what the behavior you're talking about is. Three is developmentally the beginning of identity establishment. They are exploring their Independence, which means they are instinctively driven to challenge only you, but listen to friends of yours, or teachers, other adults... They are biologically programmed to be completely selfish. They are not really capable of complex e... More

  • Wingo
    Oct 05

    What was helpful for me was reading articles about cognitive behavior for a specific age. Understanding will allow you to better deal with certain scenarios. Keep in mind that they are still growing mentally and nothing they do wrong is intentional

Anyone else struggle with the cost of daycare vs staying at home?

What would be the ideal solution?

  • Shae
    Sep 10

    Finally after 2 yrs I found a home daycare that closes at 12a.m.,after the birth of my son 2 yrs ago I had to stay at home because all the daycares closed at 630pm,and my shift is from 7a-7p or 7p-7a while hubby works swing shift, now I'm back to the job hunt

  • Ricardo
    Sunday

    There's pros and cons on daycare/child care. I work at a learning center/day care as a preschool teacher for three year olds. I've worked with families of all shapes and sizes. Personally, I had my infant daughter come with me to work and I loved it! Mom worked and traveled a lot for her work so her hours weren't really consistent so our goal was to have our daughter attend daycare ... More

Community

Hey! I know this is a bit of a shot in the dark but my little family and I are just looking for community...Friend groups who we can share our time and friendship with! We love both hosting and attending! We have a 3.5 year old boy who seriously thrives on friend time!

  • Kathie
    Aug 21

    Hey Adelle, have you heard of a site called Meetup.com? I suggest you check that out. Its a great site to meet local friends who share tour interest

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Aug 14

Considering a Vasectomy

Any guys on here who are considering a vasectomy or have already had the procedure. I am wanting to know: duration of procedure and recovery time, which method did you receive and were there any changes to sexual health. Ladies feel free to comment if your significant other has had this procedure done or is considering this option.

  • Anonymous
    Aug 19

    Thanks everyone for your comments. My wife and I have a lot to reconsider before moving forward with a vasectomy.

  • Sarah
    Aug 20

    On what May-Ling said my husband’s only cost $75 out of pocket with our insurance he got it done on a Thursday and was back at work Monday.

Anonymous posted in Postpartum Recovery Jul 13

Overlapping paternity and maternity leave

My wife and I are due to have our first child soon and both are lucky enough to work for companies that give us 4-5 months of maternity and paternity leave. We are trying to determine how much we should take together immediately after the baby is born and/or how much we should overlap our leaves. Would love to hear about others’ experiences with this?

  • Damon
    Jul 15

    One month together, then stagger the remaining time to maximize parent contact time in the first year. WHO recommends one year with at least one parent present has a strong correlation with reduced risk for anxiety related mental health issues. As Dad don't think that you should or can sit out of nursing time. My job was wake the baby or get the crying baby, sooth baby while momma got h... More

  • VV
    Aug 24

    If you have the time, take at least 3 months off together. If your wife goes through natural childbirth (no meds eg epidural) like me, her body needs a full 2 months to start moving back to normal. On top of that babies take 3 months to really figure out the world; many call it the fourth trimester. My husband kept our house running while I focused on breastfeeding, but it was really nice becau... More

Amy posted in Holidays Jun 17

Happy Father's Day!

Happy father's day to every dad out there crushing parenting. Whether you stay at home, work 80 hours a week, or are doing it all by yourself - keep up the amazing work.

Dads today are more emotionally available and involved

Fascinating data from a recent BYU study indicating that most fathers today are actively involved in their kids' lives, perhaps due to shifting norms about masculinity. Great news! 🙌🏼 “Fathers continue to navigate changing social expectations,” said Lee Essig, another co-author of the study and BYU graduate student. “As current social trends are pushing for men’s increased familial involve... More

Equality for dads

I love my daughter and I love being a stay at home dad, but I have had enough of this country's lack of support for men as parents. I'm angry and frustrated because there seems to be no accommodations for fathers in America, whether it's with parental leave after birth, society's stigma for stay at home dads, or even something as basic as having a changing table in men's re... More

  • Kathie
    Jun 24

    Signed!

  • Hteees
    Jul 30

    I just go to women’s restrooms if there’s no changing station in the men’s, but I shouldn’t have to.

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