Marriage & Partnership

Get support and share advice on navigating marriage and partnership after kids including keeping the spark alive, handling disagreements, and what to do when things aren't working out.

When you disagree on discipline tactics

This morning my husband came down and was trying to get the kids to clean up their toys and they weren’t listening. I disagreed with the way he was handling the situation so I just sat there quietly. Then he got on me for not backing him up and supporting him. I didn’t want to start a disagreement in front of the kids and didn’t want to seem like we weren’t on the same page so I was planning on... More

  • PK
    Saturday

    We talk about it later. But in the moment we are supportive of each other even if one of us disagrees with the disciplinary action.

  • Anonymous
    Sunday

    My husband is bipolar and they’re still figuring out his meds. There have been times where my husband yells at our kid for dumb things or things that weren’t the child’s fault and there I step in and tell him he needs to cool off and take over the situation.

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Friday

Feeling Bad about Giving Gifts

I don’t know what to do anymore about my fiancé and giving gifts. We’re currently expecting our second any day now and we have an 11m old as well. I haven’t worked in over a year, so I try not to spend a lot of money on unnecessary items/gifts. Like I don’t even buy lunch food for me I just eat leftovers and cereal 🤦🏽‍♀️ but anyways, I made him a very special gift for Valentine’s Day and he has... More

  • Elle
    Saturday

    Goigle "love languages quiz" Both of you take it Discuss results w one another

  • Rachael
    Monday

    This is abusive. Lavishing you in gifts you don’t want but then controlling all of the money and treating you shitty when you pour your heart into making heartfelt gifts out of the few crumbs he’s left you is not loving, it’s a form of control and objectification. That said, please don’t beat yourself up if you stay given the position you’re in. Whatever you do going forward you & your babi... More

I love my family

I love my wife of almost 7yrs, who’s also my baby momma of a Beautiful healthy 2yr old. But she told me she needs time apart for a while. It’s been two months, something like that apart. And I still can’t forget her. I feel like she doesn’t loves me anymore. But Idk. She says she does but i don’t see it in her eyes. So... Any Ideas ?

  • Karla
    Thursday

    I have been with my husband for 10 year and married for 3 years and I can honestly say I also remember a patch of us wanting to be apart. We worked through our problems but would suggest counseling as well. Idk how much time one needs apart from a spouse to figure out what you wanna do next in life or who you want to spend life with. Wish you well!

  • Alan
    Friday

    Thank you

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Feb 13

Changed his mind???!!!!!

My very soon to be fiancé and father to our 10mo son told me last night that he doesn’t want more kids. For years he has been trying to convince me to have five kids, when I only want two or three. Two months ago he told me he wanted to start trying after we get married. And then out of the blue last night, he says he doesn’t want anymore kids. I have no idea what to do. I know for a fact that ... More

  • Megan
    Thursday

    What is more important to you? If the amount of kids can change your mind to not wanting to be with that person than I’d say don’t get married. That’s just asking for a messy divorce that your poor kid(s) would have to go through. If it’s how you are when your pregnant only, than maybe explore the idea of adoption. I had hard pregnancies and didn’t even want to be pregnant the second time cause... More

  • Triny
    Friday

    When we married, we were both on the same page of not wanting kids, he already had two, and i didnt think i wanted one... eventually we changed our minds together and now we have this beautiful daughter that we love so much, like they were saying, you married ur spouse regardless of what comes after. Things never goes like planned. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Feb 08

Spark in marriage..

I miss the spark in my marriage. I don’t want to mess around with other people but I sometimes catch myself fantasizing about it or about past relationship sparks.. Am I normal? How do I rekindle it? Will I ever? I guess I feel like my spouse isn’t interested in being physical or showing he appreciates my body/sexiness.

  • Anonymous
    Feb 11

    I guess it’s normal, because I feel the same way. I have been missing my ex a lot, and wonder what it would be like to see him again. My husband and I have no spark whatsoever. He wasn’t interested in being physical with me all throughout my pregnancy and even a year afterwards. Now he is trying again, but I’ve realized I’m not interested now; but we don’t have date nights, and we don’t get to ... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 12

    I think this is totally normal! I know I feel this way sometimes. I’m hoping it’s just a phase while the kids are little and we don’t have very much time for each other. We are also in therapy so I feel like that has helped us a little bit. Hang in there!

Anonymous posted in Holidays Feb 08

Valentines gift ideas for hubby

Hi! I know Valentines Day is a “holiday” that many roll their eyes at, but my hubby and I like to do something small and special for each other. Other than the obvious - chocolate, go out for dinner, sex, cards - what else do y’all give your hubs? If there is anything else? 😂😂

  • Kieli
    Feb 09

    My husband had a special coffee cup that broke a while back, so I ordered a new one for him from amazon and of course the day I ordered it he went onto my email and found it! Lol so he was really happy, but not so much a surprise. I like to get him something he’s been really wanting so that way it doesn’t just end up getting thrown out or left sitting around

  • Benjamin
    Feb 09

    My wife scheduled us a couples massage.

How often do you have sex

Hi mommas, very personal question but how often do you all have sex? My husband has a high sex drive and wants it ALL the time. We have it at least 3-4 times a week and that’s not enough for him. I work full time nannying 3 kids( ages 3, 2 & 9 months) and I bring my own 2( ages 2 and 9 months) with me so total I have 5 kids under age 4 that I watch. I’m sooo tired during the week so it’s ha... More

  • Gina
    Thursday

    Why are so many of you having sex even though you don't want to?!?!?!?! If you are being forced or pressured--directly or indirectly--to have sex out of fear of an unhappy partner, please know that this is not okay.

  • Caitlin
    Sunday

    It used to be like... once or twice a year? Which sucked on my end, but my spouse didn’t want to have sex, so we didn’t. No pressure. I have a very high sex drive, they have a very low one, but I’d never pressure them to have sex or make them feel like they have to. Lately we’ve been having sex 2-4 times a week, I think? Which has been great! But I make sure my partner knows they don’t have to,... More

Jessica posted in In-Laws Feb 06

Family social media posts

So my husbands family likes to posts pictures of our daughter on social media, which I actually have a huge problem with (that’s 700+ strangers per family member) but I let it go. But they constantly post pictures portraying our daughter as my husbands sisters child, caption and all, implying she belongs to my sister-in-law, and they DO NOT correct people when they comment. They actively crop m... More

  • Sarah
    Feb 07

    Have you talked to your sister in law about it? It doesn’t sound she’s taking part of all this drama, so I’m curious how she feels about all of it. Would imagine she might be hurt that her family is trying to project a different life for her, showing the world what they wish her life was. If she’s upset about it too, she might be better able to stop the behavior than you. And if not, at least ... More

  • Julieann
    Feb 12

    This is exactly how my in-laws are. My sister in law goes around telling people that my son is her son and no matter how many times I talk to my in-laws and bf they don’t listen to me at all. And now I am almost 5 months pregnant and my in-laws are already claiming that my baby is there’s. My sister in law claims that as well due to all of their sibling looking alike. My son came out looking li... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Feb 02

Potty training

  • Anonymous
    Feb 02

    It's not his fault he has depression and is not being selfish. Finding a good therapist is hard and actually took me years to find anyone that was worth it. You can start suggesting lifestyle changes that may impact his health whether it be nutritional or environmental. Little things like that show you are willing to support him and if they make a positive impact, can give him hope that the... More

  • Kate
    Feb 03

    I’m sorry you’re both going through this. As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, I know just how miserable it can be to be around me when I’m going through one of these phases. 🙂 A couple of suggestions based on what’s worked for me (so take this with a grain of salt, of course): - Have an honest, calm and compassionate chat with him. Tell him you’re noticing it’s different this ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Feb 01

Great father, bad husband.

Anyone else?? My husband is an amazing daddy to our little girl. I’m also an amazing mom. We just don’t get along with one another. Daughter is a year and a half. We pretty much go through a week or two every month where we aren’t nice to one another. He blames it on me. Example, just this morning he was leaving for work (we both work but he leaves earlier and I drop dd at daycare). He was k... More

  • Ann
    Feb 09

    I would say to put up a large sign in the house or on the bathroom mirror for a while that reads ‘pick ur battles’ then I would change the schedules around so u spend less time together for a month or two such as take some city recreational classes in the evening or something so To give each other a break from the war and miss each other a bit too... irritability is contagious and only ends whe... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 11

    Dealing with the same thing and it’s been over four years now. We will go weeks without the arguing but then all hell breaks loose for about a week, and this cycle repeats. He’s a wonderful dad and provider, but we have both acknowledged we would rather be apart and happy than bring up our daughter seeing us constantly fight. We love each other and know that we don’t want that, we just continue... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jan 31

Sex after a 2 years break

I know it sounds crazy but we went through a very difficult phase since our LO is born and never had sex since his birth (will be 2 next month). How to have sex again? My husband is not asking for it...

  • Alexza
    Jan 31

    I think you should have a conversation with your husband since you had a difficult phase since your son was born. And if there you and him can figure out the next steps to having intimacy again. Hope this helps!

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jan 31

SAHM’s and Money

How do other SAHM’s have their money set up? We currently have all joint accounts, but it’s just not working. My husband is the only one that makes money and he is very critical where his money goes. For example: When I get groceries or household items he will see the transaction on the bank account, then ask me, “What did you buy at Walmart? What did you buy at Target? What did you buy at Dol... More

  • PK
    Jan 31

    My husband and I each have our own personal checking account and then we have a joint savings. My husband’s pay check goes directly into his personal checking and he keeps the amount that he needs to pay certain bills and transfers the remaining to savings. He pays for utilities, cell phone, and mortgage out of his checking account. I pay for everything else - expenses on food, supplies or se... More

  • Lily
    Jan 31

    I found an awesome plan from someone on YouTube that has a great system for this! Because it is hard not making any of your own money. Look up Fun Cheap or free on YouTube!! But what she does is she and her husband agree on how much needs to spent on food and other things each week and she has that much to do whatever with. No questions asked after they agree on the amount.

Anonymous posted in Family Planning Jan 24

Number of kids

I am one of two kids and so is my husband. We have had conversations in the past and agreed that we both want 2 kids. The problem is that we have 2 boys that I totally adore BUT I can’t stop wondering if we should “try for a girl”. I love kids, I love watching my boys’ relationship grow. I know that my husband does not ever consider having another one. He has mentioned that he doesn’t know if ... More

  • Lily
    Feb 06

    Go for it! But just remember you might get another boy! I know a family that had a girl, then 3 boys, really really wanted another girl....and they are having another boy! I don't think the feeling of wanting more ever goes away!

  • Cryzana
    Feb 11

    Why not adopt?

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jan 23

Marriage Difficulties- Business comes first

Hi just stumbled upon this forum and thought would write a post. I have been married for 10 years and my husband has his own business. We have one young child at junior school. When we met I was more financially successful and he decided to set up his own business and I gave up my career to be a Mum. The business has gone from strength to strength but recently hit a few problems. In the ea... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 27

    I have my own business and so does my husband so I understand the complexities that come with this situation. Both of us work at home a lot and both of us have some travel as well. In my experience when you own your own business you need to get really good at setting healthy boundaries in order to reduce stress. Ultimately, this both allows you to prioritize the people you love and be more succ... More

Any ideas or tips?

Hello, I’m a first time dad of a beautiful girl. My wife and I are constantly arguing about, how I don’t help her with the baby. She gets mad that I don’t help at night, feeding her, or changing her dippers. The thing is that my 3 week newborn girl seems to be more attached to her mom. When I hold her, she starts crying, and as a first time dad I don’t want to hear my baby cry. What should I do?

  • SWAGGERDAD
    Jan 09

    Hey Cesar, Welcome to "fatherhood" bro. We all been there bro. Don't feel bad at all bro, your daughter is just use to her mom. All you have to do is your part as a dad. Any chance you have to be around and carry her do so. If is that bad, wear one of your wife shirts, like that she thinks shes being carry by her mom but it's really you lol. Do your fair share on feeding her a... More

  • molly
    Jan 12

    Cesar, you are an awesome parent for asking for help. My hubby had the same issue. Babies sense when you are nervous or uncomfortable so fake confidence, coo sweet nothings and hold it as comfortably as you can (my hubby used to hold my baby like a muddy football away from him, but he started sitting down and cradling- it helped after a few awkward crying sessions the baby loved being with him)... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Jan 04

Marriage satisfaction

Married ladies, how would you divide your happy and unhappy times in your marriage? Also, how would you rate your marriage on a scale of 1 to 10? I would rate mine as 50/50 on happy/unhappy and give my marriage a 5... I recently spoke to a lady trying to sell me a marital improvement program and she said marriage should be 80/20... seems like maybe she was skewing the scale to sell her ... More

  • MamaNukesYopolo
    Feb 01

    Many of my marriage challenges so far came before we had kids. I would say we liked at 40/60 or 50/50 for a while (maybe a 4 or 5), now I would venture to say that (minus my pregnancy hormones disrupting things occasionally) we’ve been at 80/20 or even 90/10 over the last two years or more. I’d go far as to say I’d rate my marriage at a 10 right now. We have more or less gotten down to a scienc... More

  • Anonymous
    Feb 02

    If my marriage was a consistent 5/10, I’d be looking to change that ASAP. Either put up with the status quo, change what you do, or leave the relationship entirely. You only have control over your behavior, your words and your actions and reactions. Nobody has the ability to make you feel like shit. You either take it, or you don’t. The way that you respond to kind or cruel words or actions is ... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Dec 29

Let’s talk about sexy time, or lack thereof

I recently had my first baby she now 5 months (I had her with NO EPIDURAL 😩) she sleeps thru the night so there’s plenty of time for daddy and I to have sexy time and he tries but I find myself ALWAYS pushing him away. We use to be like bunny’s but now post baby I feel like something changed? How do I get that spark back? Am I the only one having this problem? He’s starting to feel like I’m uni... More

  • Jenn
    Jan 01

    I second Jenn’s experience. I’m 15 mo pp and just now starting to feel sexual again. Same with my first babe. BF definitely doesn’t help, nor does not having cycles. I was told to just “get back on that horse” for my honey’s sake with my first babe and I’ve had resentment and some trauma to heal from that. My honey has hated the past year of me pushing him away, but apparently that’s what I nee... More

  • Tyler
    Jan 15

    Everyone use to bang like crazy....or some version of that. Hormone levels play a huge part on both sides, get them checked. Also I think you typically work alot closer together when you have kids, spend more time together, sleep less, worry more etc. Point being many things have changed and the “we use to go at it like bunnies” comment has nothing to do with how often you do it now. The gam... More

Help!

I originally liked a name my husband mentioned but now that I’m hearing it more and more I don’t like it. How do I tell him without hurting his feelings? He even calls the baby by the name and I don’t like it at all 😔😔😔

  • Jacquelyn Marie Devine
    Dec 30

    Um, have you forgotten the most important thing? It’s your baby to! Just tell your husband you don’t like the name! I mean come on, naming your baby is the easiest part of being a parent.

  • Cathy
    Dec 30

    Tell him you don’t like it! That’s what I did 😂

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Dec 28

Feeling unappreciated

I've found that this app has become a place for me to vent all my frustration (shout out to the Anonymous post option). So here's my most recent gripe... My boyfriend has been sick with a stomach bug and to prevent our 8 month old from catching it, I exiled him to the living room where he proceeded to sleep for almost an entire 48 hours. I was sympathetic, I bought him soup and saltines... More

  • Anonymous
    Dec 30

    Your not being dramatic! And you’ve literally described my life. I’ve been married for 8 years to my husband when we first got married I wasn’t working so caring for the kids and house fell on me. Which was fine we where both doing our parts. I went back to work a few years ago, we also had a third kid. He kept not helping around the house, kept not helping with the kids. When I go to work I tr... More

  • Traci
    Jan 25

    Wow. That exact same situation happened with me and my fiancé about a month ago. Oh but he slept 3 days straight. Lol. Yet several months ago I was in excruciating pain and couldn’t see out of my eye and called him and asked him to come straight home after work to help with our son and he said he couldn’t cause he had to help his dad drop his Harley off. I have so much resentment towards him. H... More

Anonymous posted in Marriage & Partnership Dec 27

Dads please read

This is a question for working dads. My husband works full time, I also work but definitely not as many hours as he does. On the days he works I spend my day cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, making dinner and just basic life needs. When I go to work I always have to make sure he has what he’s going to need for the night for him and the kids. If I don’t make dinner before I go into w... More

  • Jenn
    Jan 01

    If you freeze up trying to talk about it, try writing something out instead :)

  • Sonia
    Jan 25

    Sounds like he expects you to pick up his slack, because you often do- I’m not saying you are wrong, I’m saying he is used to you making things right. I would stop doing so much - and when he complains- as he will, I would let him know I am reciprocating his kindness. If you won’t stop at the store for groceries- then bring home a pizza - that will eventually get old. ... and expensive. ... More

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