Single Parents

Support and discussions about raising kids solo, including dating as a parent, being a single parent by choice, birth parents, and more.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Sunday

Newly single mom

Me and his dad are still together til our lease is up in February. We are cordial but it's hard to set boundaries when grieving under the same roof. Do any other single parents have advice for going through a breakup while still living together? I'm especially having a tough time with accepting the breakup as valid and permanent. I really never wanted to be a single mom but here I am. ... More

  • Anonymous
    Monday

    I wish I knew exactly what to say as I admittedly have had thoughts of divorce with my husband, but being open to him, we're are working on our relationship. I don't know what you may need specifically but these are some of the things that came across my mind. 1) Make an effort to go out be it for yourself or time with your son. Giving yourself room to breathe away from home is always ... More

Anonymous posted in Money May 26

Single mom struggling.

Hi guys. I’m a single mom. I have SO much going on right now mentally that I feel like Such a mess. My daughters father was abusive so I worry about letting her see him. So far he’s been really distant with her but he says every once in a while that he wants to see her and of course my daughter wants everything to do with that. I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t trust him. I’m also living a... More

  • Janette
    Jun 09

    Speaking only my opinion and personal experience.. if he was abusive to you, he will be abusive to her. The energy level could be because perhaps u are struggling with narcissistic abuse syndrome. Be kind to yourself, it sounds like there is definitely a lot that has u feeling overwhelmed, my advice is to just do the next right thing.. even if it's just washing your face or planning what u ... More

  • Jessica
    Jun 12

    I’m in a very similar situation. Still living with my parents, but listen hon.... your #1 job is to keep your baby safe and if that means not involving the father then so be it. Also, just take it one day at a time and be sure to make time (even if only 5 mins.) to take care of you!!!

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation May 26

Fiance wants to break up, we have a 2 year old

I feel like a failure of a mother as now I’ll have two different children with two different dads. My first marriage ended amicably and I get along great with my ex and we co parent very well. I’ve been with my current fiancé almost 4 years and he never wants to spend time with us, all he does is work and lay around the house. We’ve gone to therapy, I’ve begged him to spend more time with his c... More

  • Anonymous
    May 26

    Get a lawyer. Both dads should be paying child support

Anonymous posted in Child Care May 23

Security blanket/stuffed animal

So my son is almost 15 months old. We have never spent any time apart. I’m a single mom, he sleeps in my bed, and we go everywhere together. There’s literally never a moment we’re not together. A security blanket/stuffed animal hasn’t been necessary and he hasn’t really taken to anything because I have always been there 24/7. He is going to start a Mother’s Day Out program in the fall 2 days a ... More

  • Kendall
    May 25

    Agree ^^ my son carries his puppy around day care ALL DAY LONG and they don’t mind a bit. So I also disagree the program wouldn’t allow it, I think it would be ok, especially if he’s new.

  • Jamie
    May 25

    I highly recommend role playing. It makes a huge difference when they know what to expect. Get a stuffed animal and pretend that you and your child are the parents. Drop the stuffed animal off and reassure him and kiss him goodbye. You might even have some activities to pretend that the stuffed animal will do while at MDO and some other stuffed animals to represent the kids. Then, switch roles.... More

Elena posted in Child Care May 19

Daycare preschool

First time mom here. I'm a stay at home single mom how is that possible it is lol I live with a family member because I'm newly separated my question is since I was a stay at home mom while married I never considered day care well my son turned two and I think it would be good for him and me to go for a couple days a week is he too old ? Is day care mandatory what is the difference betw... More

  • Elena
    May 20

    Thank you so much

  • Maeghan
    May 22

    Try a Mother’s Day Out! I’m also a single SAHM (the looks I get when I say that 😂). I’m starting my son in the fall (he’ll be 18 months) and I’m going to work there for a little extra money. Mother’s Day Outs are typically 2 (sometimes 3) days a week and they don’t stay as long- usually 9-2. Not great for everyone but hoping it works for us! I’m not comfortable (and it’s unnecessary for us) put... More

Anonymous posted in Blended Families May 18

Out of state custody

I am looking into moving to another state in order to get away from my daughter’s father- he is really not a safe person. I know I need to be in a new state for 182 days in order to gain jurisdiction there. Does anyone have experience in this type of situation that could offer me advice or pleasant stories (I’m terrified to do this). Much love! Thank you!

  • Anya levonavna
    May 20

    I was in a very similar situation I’m 2012 when I found myself in a toxic marriage with an abusive man. We lived in PA but I was from New York City and still had a lot of strong ties there. I took my two year old son and left in the middle of the night. My husband came several times to try to take our son back but as soon as he would show up I d call the police. I went to the precinct and I spo... More

  • Anonymous
    May 24

    Anya, thank you! How did you get jurisdiction? My biggest question now is what do I need to do right away so that I can prove that I have been there 6 months when the time comes?

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation May 06

What’s in a name?

I was hoping to gather some ideas.... I’m not sure how to teach my 19 month old daughter who her deadbeat birth father is. I cannot bring myself to call him her “dad” or “dada” or “daddy” because those terms seem more enduring and imply a close relationship, which he does not have with her. (He sees her/asks to see her about 1 time a month and ends up just taking pictures to post on social medi... More

  • Lily
    May 09

    I would say just use his first name. Seems appropriate for someone who is only seen once a month

  • Briana
    Saturday

    I would go with father.

Anonymous posted in Blended Families May 05

When to introduce my significant other to my kid?

I’ve been talking to this guy for about a month now we’ve went on a couple dates and spent a few nights together we’ve talked about a lot of the serious topics and have the same views of what we want out of life and have the same values we click in that sense and in person things just feel right with him and I can see myself with him for the long haul and this is the first guy I’ve been with si... More

  • Anna
    May 13

    I’ve been debating this myself, similar situation. The previous poster made a good point about attachment; that’s been my concern. But a friend that’s been a single parent said that she benefited from introducing her kids early - if the kids didn’t connect with the guy, she took it as a sign and they ended up being true. That being said, I think for me it will boil down to timing, my comfort le... More

  • Anonymous
    May 21

    Not for a while. I wouldn't introduce a man to my kid until at least 6 months of dating if not more.

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Apr 30

Single co-parent depression

Any single parents with joint custody that could give advice on depression while away from your child? I do understand this can be personal but when I’m away from my daughter it leaves me with no motivation to do anything. I’ve tried activities, burying myself in my work, gym, dating (made it worse) and even getting a puppy. Nothing can break this void of missing my daughter To make it wor... More

  • Anonymous
    May 03

    We have an agreement that we follow closely between us adults - video chat at 7 pm every night for the kids and the “away” parent. It helps everyone catch up on news, say hello & I love you, & helps keep away the loneliness a bit. It’s not perfect but it’s something.

  • Sj
    May 03

    I get a court ordered call each night at 7:30 which he doesn’t allow most days. It’s the not raising my babies half the time. Such grief and loss... like a half death

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Apr 29

Desperate double bedtime

16 month old and 2.5 years old Youngest was sleep trained and sleeping pretty solidly 7:30-6:30pm, before I moved him into my eldest’s room. I put them to bed together and all was OK for about two weeks, then not sure why, youngest has refused to lay down to sleep and keeps crying until I pick him up. I feel terrible for my eldest, because she has to lay down whilst he screams. When he’s ... More

  • Elayne
    Apr 30

    Maybe push bed time back a little bit? Both my kids go to bed now at 9pm and get up at 6:30am. Maybe if they had the same bedtime?

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Mar 31

Single Mom -> new relationship

My son is a year and a half I recently started seeing someone and I grew into a relationship when do you think would be an appropriate time to introduce him to my son?

  • Kristi
    Apr 01

    At this age it’s a little easier because your son isn’t at the age to make long term attachments or ask questions if someone isn’t there but I would say you need to make sure he will be around for a while. I’ve been single my son’s whole life and he’s only met a few of the guys I’ve dated and he’s 7. You just want to be sure that he isn’t going to get attached to someone you aren’t that serious... More

Evening or night shift?

I will be a single parent in the beginning of April and i dont know what shift i should go for to be able to be with my two year old son? I will be full time and a CNA?.

  • Mrs. HHH
    May 22

    Evening vs night? What is the difference in start time? CNA is nurse right?

Terribles twos

Tantrums, daughter getting sick & starting a new job 😩😩😩Im a single parent and I feel like I just want to cry. It’s so over whelming... 😔

  • Ashlie
    Apr 08

    My daughter is almost 2 and throws fits but I just let her throw them and she quits pretty fast bc she knows she. Isn’t going to get attention from momma doing that lol...you’re doing great

  • Keylim
    May 07

    Thank you ladies, I’m soooooo late but I didn’t get a notification. I appreciate you responding back and giving me some hope and words of wisdom. 🥰

Anonymous posted in Behavior Mar 12

Power Struggles with 5yo

I get that they’re common, but I’m so very tired of them and I feel overwhelmed by what might be in store for us. As a single-parent family, would it be wise to invest in some family counseling? Or is this something I should ride out for a while?

  • Anonymous
    Mar 14

    Thanks for the suggestions. I’ll look into the podcast and books. And counseling as well probably.

Anonymous posted in Mental Health Feb 13

I've had enough

I've been waiting for my boyfriend to propose...he said when I lost weight when we move into a bigger home and when he gets a better job...each time we achieve he comes up with another excuse...I poured my heart out countless times and I put so much love and attention into my family. Today I really laid it all on the table. I'm disgusted with myself for giving my all before we were even... More

  • T
    Feb 14

    Weight should not of been a requirement. Men KNOW who they want to marry... know your worth & NEVER SETTLE. A few months of instability could bring a lifetime of happiness. You never know how strong you are until it’s your only option.

  • Karla
    Feb 14

    Those sound like excuses and it also sound like you know wha t to do next. Someone once said to me " fear of the unknown " and I keep that in mind every single time I'm feeling that certain way. Is there any family maybe that can help while you get back on your feet?

I'm a recently separated single mom

I'm just hoping to find other people I can chat with to help me from going insane! My boyfriend and father of my son just left yesterday and it is so hard especially being a stay at home mom. Any advice or anything would really be helpful

  • Shaley
    Feb 14

    Aww thank you! That really does help!

  • Melissa
    Mar 29

    Hey girl. I’m on the same boat. I was married for 13 years and with him for 15 yrs. We have two beautiful children, a 12 year old girl & 5 yr old boy. We’ve been separated since October & it doesn’t look like we will be fixing things anytime soon. It’s heartbreaking for so many reasons but mainly because we moved across country together leaving behind our family & friends & all ... More

Anonymous posted in Single Parents Jan 21

Double bedtime for single parent

My husband and I are newly separated. I’m struggling with putting both toddlers to bed (1.1 and 2.4 years). I usually do one whilst the other plays with dad, and then come for the second. We didn’t sleep train our second, so it can take me 10- 25 minutes to put him down. Our first was the good sleeper, but is fussing and delaying for up to an hour after bedtime. I’m struggling. Tears and runn... More

  • Be
    Jan 24

    I put my baby down when feeding my toddler. Then I can spend time getting him down. Then once he asleep I get the older one ready for bed then if needed I can throw him into his bed and get to the baby. It's all balance and your doing great! Trial and error

  • Brenda
    Jan 31

    I am going through a similar situation and now I’m living alone with my three children and it is very hard getting them all to bed at the same time so that I can rest, basically I put them all in at the same time in the same room until they fall asleep it took me a while to get them to do this but after tucking them in over and over in a week it just became a habit for my 2.6 yr old my 9mo old ... More

Anonymous posted in Divorce & Separation Jan 05

Separating after baby comes

Husband and I are pregnant with baby #2 and have a very volatile relationship. Neither of us are happy and have tried counseling, etc to try to make it work. Baby #2 was a surprise and we had previously agreed to separate before we found out I was pregnant. Long story short, after baby comes we will be splitting and co-parenting. We have decided this on good terms, no anger or hostility just sa... More

  • Anonymous
    Jan 07

    I have a friend who did exactly this. It has been much better for their kids to co-parent but not be together. They live really close to each other to make the logistics easy. It will be hard in the beginning but just know you're doing the best thing for yourself and your kids.

  • Sandra
    Feb 01

    Before I got pregnant my babies father and I were having issues, I was going to break up with him,then I found out I was pregnant and tried to make it work for about 3 months before realizing that I did not want to be with him.I knew that for your kids you have to be okay for them to be okay,it will be hard at first because you’re going to need help,and since you will be separated,it’s going to... More

Questions about safety

Recently I’ve been having anxious thoughts because one of my co workers unfortunately passed away of a heart attack. I am a single mom of a 2 year old toddler and for a quick second a question popped up in my mind. What if one day I suddenly passed out or have a medical emergency and it’s only me and my son in the house. How would I get help and how would he know to seek help for me? This thoug... More

  • Ciara Grey
    Jan 06

    Yes I have often worried about this!! Teach age appropriate independency. I find it helpful to have an Amazon Alexa in the living room I taught my son (now 3 yes old) how to say “call Nana” & it will dial my mom. She’s been prepped too. I also have a WiFi camera that my mom has access to. If you trust someone enough to share that info with and who wouldn’t invade your privacy I would. Also ... More

  • Tyler
    Jan 15

    No! Stop planning, I think for our own sanity we need to slow way down on the planning. Logically this scenario could happen, the likelihood is extremely slim. #dadofreason

My boyfriend's complicated + expensive divorce stresses me out. How do I live with this?

I posted a few months ago and it made me feel so much less alone in my situation... so now I'm back for more. For over a year I've been dating a single dad. He's the best. He's raising 2 kids mostly on his own. The kids seem to like me and I've been getting to know them better. My boyfriend and their mom are in the process of getting divorced. It is complicated for many re... More

  • Teena
    Dec 13, 2018

    You are on the right track!! I am in the same situation and I was so stressed out until someone said something that changed my whole outlook....His divorce is none of your business. I know it seems harsh, but truly it is not. His marriage was not your relationship and neither is his divorce. If he wants to come to you for support, then support him, but you cannot and should not be making any of... More

  • L
    Dec 13, 2018

    Yessss! Thank you Teena. I agree. It is none of my business.... Also I know this baggage isn't really going anywhere so a lot of it is about how I relate to the situation. He's started sharing less of the details with me and that has made it a little easier.

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